NationStates Jolt Archive

-Jungles, "Zenthoth" Island

Major Smith sighed as he walked calmly through the winding paths, looking around not for hostile soldiers, but just for someplace where he could take a crap.

He hated this god forsaken island, the fact that he and his men were stuck here, and the whole stupid fucking job! Sent to investigate paranormal activity. Give me a fucking break. He thought, snapping a fallen branch in half with a well-placed stomp.

Snarling, he slowed to a stop. Why was he complaining. The job paid well. It was safe. And most importantly, he was free from that stifling, cramped, disease ridden prison. He was in a tropical paradise, and all he had to do was write up a simple two word report. No Ghosts.

I mean. What could happen? Some xenomorphic creature out of a Sci-Fi flick dropping down from the trees? He chuckled, freezing when he heard a clicking groan, rustling leaves, and a hard "THWOMP" behind him. Turning, his hands shaking, he saw it and blinked. It stood a good eight and a half feet tall, and was covered in sharp, rough looking red-brown chitneous armor. ... No fucking way...


-OOC-

Just setting things up for Neo-Mekanta to gain a Modern Tech presence. ^_^

Hive Lord Kathxeth looked down at the trembling, weak, fleshy creature. The Goddess knew them as... Humans... A weak race that greatly paled in comparison to the purity of the Zircon form. The creature took a few steps back, Kathxeth following. He was curious as to why the Goddess Minagoroshi had asked him, a Zircon Sentient, to come to the Human homeworld. Was the Goddess angry? Was she curious?

Was she... lonely...?

Pushing the thoughts of emotion out of his head, Kathxeth pointed his arm at the creature, growling before altering his vocal nodes to speak his language. "Kyooooou... Ghuuuumoooon..." He growled, unable to form the words as well as older Hive Lords. "... Stpeeeeeaaak Hwhiiiiithhhh Kyooooooou..."

The creature blinked, looking at the perfect form of the Zircon Hive Lord, trembling. "You... you... You want to talk..."

"... Gyeeeees..." Kathxeth said, stepping closer. "Xpeeeeeeaaaak Hwhiiiithhhh ghuuuumoooooon... Kskpeeaaaaaaaaak whihth aaaaghlll Ghuuuumoooons..."


Smith couldn't believe what he was hearing. This... thing... was talking to him. Wanting to speak with humans...? He didn't trust the thing, but judging by its ability to perfectly survive a fall from the trees and not feel it, he didn't trust his survival if this thing got pissed off, either. "... Okay... just... ah... follow... me...?"

Landon Smith, now a general, looked down at the cool ocean water, sea sickness always having been a problem for him.

In the three weeks since the creature, a Zircon, came, everyone had decided it was somehow a good idea to follow the thing. Partially because it had effortlessly shredded a tank when someone aimed at it, and partially because it kept talking about serving a Goddess, and everyone meeting that Goddess. Everyone knew, of course, that by definition...

... Goddesses were hot...

Thus was the reason the Third Law was never to be broken. You never get a bunch of oversexed, rarely laid soldiers together, because they'll run off without a moment's notice to follow some big ugly beasty-thingie just because it says it says it serves a Goddess. And everyone knew, of course, that by definition...

... Goddesses were hot- wait...

... How did he know the Goddess was hot... If it was a goddess of this... thing... Might it be the definition of beauty of the Zircon?

... Nah... Becuase everyone knew, of course, that by definition...


The Human called Smith, the one who was designated the leader of the Inferiors given that Kathxeth himself had slain the old leader for daring to question the will of the Goddess, stumbled off the boat, kissing the ground.

It was then that the Human called Smith turned to the great Hive Lord, blinking. "So... ah... now what...?"

A single roar sent the Human called Smith scurrying back a few feet, bowing.

"Erm... ah... I mean... sorry Great Hive Lord Kathxeth... What I meant was... erm... what does the Goddess will us to do now...?"

Kathxeth stood a moment, looking around this new island, his superior senses picking up a large human settlement. "Kyoooooouuu Atxatttaaaakkk...."

"... Attack. Right... Got it." Smith said, turning. He paused a moment, then turned back again. "Erm... attack where again?"

... The stupidity of these creatures, despite thier uncanny ability to survive, never failed to surprise the Zircon...

Smith didn't know how the hell Kathxeth managed to do it, and frankly, he didn't care. The city that the big creature sent them against had women. Something the poor soldiers hadn't seen for weeks, months, years! And finally! Women!

"Asses on the left! Titties on the right! And right down the middle is some pu-" He froze, turning as he felt Kathxeth looking at him. "... Let me guess... not going to get laid..."

"Ghwaaaaat isssssskx 'Glalhaaaaaeeeed' isssssssskx...?"

"... Laid... sex... bow-wow-chika-wow-chika-wow-wow... making babies..." Nothing was getting through, prompting Smith to sigh and start explaining. "See, Hive Lord... when a man and a woman love each other, or they're bored, or drunk, they get together. Then the man puts his penis in the woman's vagina, and pushes it in and out a lot, then he pulls it out and splooges all over the woman. Do you understand now?"

"... Pghverrrrt...?"

"Pervert...? Who?"

"Gwhahaaaaat issssskxk Peghrverrrrrrt...?"

"Oh, that's someone who- wait, why am I having this conversation with you!?" Smith stopped, blinking. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out a pornographic magazine, handing it to the Zircon. "Here. Read this."

"... Pgherverrrrrt..."

"Am not!"


It didn't take long until the entire city was now under thier control, Smith having been suckered, yet again, into being an interpreter for the Hive Lord as he told them about what the goddess would do for them.

He wondered, however, if they were listening because of the blessings of the Goddess... or because the Zircon had reduced a twelve story tall building to rubble around him and climbed out unscathed before beginning to ramble on about the Goddess.

Eh, either way worked, so long as Smith got laid.

Another month passed, and the entire island was soon under the control of Kathxeth. But it wasn't hard to tell the Zircon Hive Lord was getting restless, feeling his purpose unfufilled.

It was at Smith's breakfast, being as for some unknown reason Smith started eating around the Hive Lord, that Kathxeth finally announced his plans.

"Wxhaaaaaaaagh..."

"What's that?"

"Wghaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!"

"... Wear? Wear what?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!!"

"Oh, war!!" Smith blinked. "... With who?"

One game of darts on the globe later, and a target had been chosen at random.

"The... Island... of... Rose..." Smith blinked. "... Well, we're boned."

((Tag, and people this was already arranged))

OOC:... HEY! TIOR! Are you gonna... you know... use that giant mirror up in space?(if you catch my drift(If you dont I mean the laser satellite with the huge diamond in it))

OOC:... HEY! TIOR! Are you gonna... you know... use that giant mirror up in space?(if you catch my drift(If you dont I mean the laser satellite with the huge diamond in it))

((OOC: Depends how I feel in the morning.))

"Sir, we're detecting a Zircon," Leutent Xilas said.

Captain Novet sat still and blinked, his mind not processing the information at first. Then he turned and looked at Xilas as though she had just told him the Earth was flat. What little information they had on the Zircon came from the derelict they found recently, and that was enough to make them afraid.

"I thought they were supposed to be dead. What is the Sarkarasetan battle recommendation?" Novet asked.

"Run away as fast as possible. But Dictatorial Order #6 says to capture one," Xilas said.

"We're having computer problems and are unable to do anything, right?" Novet asked.

"No, sir."

Novet calmly reached over, pushed a button to cause the control panel in front of him to open, ripped out several wires, and said, "We are now."

OOC: In other words, tag to read.

-OOC-

Actually... Use the laser. It'll make it more comedic. ^_^

And nice tag, DLE. It's good to run from the Zircon. (Plural of Zircon is Zircon)


-IC-

"Kyooou wghooooory..."

"Damn right I worry!" Smith clamped a hand over his mouth, realizing how he was speaking to the creature that, quite frankly, scared the shit out of him. "Erm, I mean... Well..."

"Kyoooough szpeeeakk ghhoopeeeeen..."

"Speak freely, fine. We don't stand a chance against them, Hive Lord."

"Wghyyy?"

"They're big. We're little. Therefore, according to the law of inverse size comparison when involved in a militaristic skirmish or alternate method of labeling a battle or war... WE'RE FUCKED!!"

"... Kyoooou naoght lghiiiiiiighktt Fhuuuukk...?"

"... Okay, we're fucked, but not in the fun way."

"... Ehgh..." Kathxeth made a simple sound of dismissal, waving off the problem. Smith didn't know what the Zircon were capable of.


Smith looked down at the ocean, groaning. This time, however, he was hanging off the end of a rowboat, being tugged by a submarine carrying tanks and troops, heading for TIOR. He didn't know where the Zircon had gotten the subs, tanks, and attack helicopters. He didn't care where the Zircon had gotten the subs, tanks, and attack helicopters. He just wanted to get off this goddamn boat!!

... But the only place he would get off, would be at The Island of Rose...

-OOC-
The war has started. The armada is moving. All hell is about to break loose.

And grown men under the command of General Landon Smith, are going to scream like little girls.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=375400

The Storm-class dreadnaught WSGS Bloom floated in space, presenting its four point-singularity cannon at the blue planet below every fifteen hours. Pointing a weapon that could destroy a planet in one shot at any one point for long did not seem like a good idea -- it tended to give people the wrong impression. So, the Weyrean Star Guard decided to have the dreadnaught point its arsenal at everything in the viscinity at least once a month. This way they would piss off everyone evenly.

"Oooh! Zircon," Bloom chuckled. One of the massive vessel's external scanners zoomed in, took a few flashless snapshots. At this range, a flash was completely pointless, and a pointful one would have blinded half the hemisphere. Bloom, avatar of the WSGS Bloom, pivoted the lens and took some snapshots of a small nation being pounded into dust by some starships. he was bored, and taking pictures was a way of relieving boredom.

OOC: TAG