NationStates Jolt Archive

Mauiwowee News Network Report

A recent surprise inspection by Mauiwowee's Department of Agriculture has discovered that fully 39% of olives used to make "Virgin Olive Oil" had in fact had sex and were not properly classified as virgins. Therefore, until further notice, the advertising and sale of "Virgin Olive Oil" in Mauiwowee is prohibited. Continued sales of "Slut Olive Oil" "Cherry Popped Olive Oil" "Trampy Olive Oil" and "Hoe' Olive Oil" will, however, be permitted to continue.

OOC: *blinks*

Ok...

***

IC:
Ab-shalom and greetings;

Our country being inhabited by gourmets, and having as a national occupation the creation and devouring of food, Vastiva would enjoy a contract for twelve tankerloads of "Slut Olive Oil", "Cherry Popped Olive Oil", "Trampy Olive Oil", and "Hoe' Olive Oil", to be properly bottled in Vastiva.

We await your response.

Namaste,
Voyate Shumash ben Allen
Vizier of Commerce
Humble Servant of His Magnificence, the Sultan of Vastiva

OOC: Lol

OOC: ....................The hell?

What the hell is going on in your country?.............

Would anyone mind if i hit the big red button?

What the hell is going on in your country?.............

Would anyone mind if i hit the big red button?
lol go ahead *put on sun glasses*

OOC: *blinks*

Ok...

***

IC:
Ab-shalom and greetings;

Our country being inhabited by gourmets, and having as a national occupation the creation and devouring of food, Vastiva would enjoy a contract for twelve tankerloads of "Slut Olive Oil", "Cherry Popped Olive Oil", "Trampy Olive Oil", and "Hoe' Olive Oil", to be properly bottled in Vastiva.

We await your response.

Namaste,
Voyate Shumash ben Allen
Vizier of Commerce
Humble Servant of His Magnificence, the Sultan of Vastiva

The ships are on the way, please wire the money (world commodities spot price per gallon)

Whahona Keeler
Ministry of International Trade
Mauiwowee

What the hell is going on in your country?.............

Would anyone mind if i hit the big red button?

LOL, sure, punch the button, but your secretary tells us all it really does is turn the light in the hall off and on. :)

bump

OOC: Bizarre... trade post... I think... i'm not sure whether it was supposed to be an announcements, potential RP or Trade Ad..?

OOC: Bizarre... trade post... I think... i'm not sure whether it was supposed to be an announcements, potential RP or Trade Ad..?

OOC: It was supposed to be humorous in a warped and twisted sort of way with the idea of eliciting replies wanting to purchase or offering a solution to the problem (anyone sell chastity belts for olives?) :)

OOC: Yeah it was funny, I saw that... I just tried to figure out the point of it besides humour :)

We've been considering doing this for quite awhile ourselves. Not with olives though, cherries! Are they really still cheried or are their pits being re-installed to fool the consumer!

All the Best,
Great Chef
Genghis Matthew

OOC: Yeah I was wondering that when I was like 8...why is it called virgin olive oil? Though they aren't even in the least bit virgin or extra virgin in terms of plants, flowers have 'girl' and 'boy' parts and they must do it alot lol.

Olive oil is sooooo good, it tastes great on grinders, people in our nation grow a SMALL amount of olives for olive oil. You know how the olive branch is a symbol of peace.....why don't we give nations the whole tree? Wouldn't it mean we REALLY want peace if we used huge airplanes to drop the 'peace presents' to the other nations? I don't know why they always attack for that though....it means peace!

We've been considering doing this for quite awhile ourselves. Not with olives though, cherries! Are they really still cheried or are their pits being re-installed to fool the consumer!

All the Best,
Great Chef
Genghis Matthew

Good point :)

OOC: Yeah I was wondering that when I was like 8...why is it called virgin olive oil? Though they aren't even in the least bit virgin or extra virgin in terms of plants, flowers have 'girl' and 'boy' parts and they must do it alot lol.

Olive oil is sooooo good, it tastes great on grinders, people in our nation grow a SMALL amount of olives for olive oil. You know how the olive branch is a symbol of peace.....why don't we give nations the whole tree? Wouldn't it mean we REALLY want peace if we used huge airplanes to drop the 'peace presents' to the other nations? I don't know why they always attack for that though....it means peace!

::: Picturing hundreds of trees falling from the sky on his enemies :::

LOL, I like it. :D

I'll have to use that in my next War of the... series. Camel Eaters presents War of the Pranksters! How y'all like that one?

Well... at least it isn't one of these 'erotic' threads people think they are writing which actually come out more like really bad porn. I mean, this forum isn't too strict about most things, but there is something about descriptive (if you could really call it that, mostly it's only a couple flithy lines long) sex scene which instead of concentrating on the feeling of the moment and using innuendo and suggestion they actually describe it with all the details on a site which is commonly used by people under the age of 16.

Umm... *looks around rather nervously* I know nothing about those sites and deny all e-mails sent to me concerning them.

Umm... *looks around rather nervously* I know nothing about those sites and deny all e-mails sent to me concerning them.

Shouldn't that be you deny all e-mails you've sent concerning them? :p

OOC: Actually made me laugh. But how on earth do olives have sex!

OOC: Actually made me laugh. But how on earth do olives have sex!

OOC: You see, one olive whips out his perperment (we all know that the permement is not put in during processing; it seperates male from female)... and then slams a female olive.

"What about Virgin Lemonade?"
-Adolf Gorreing, Chief Foreign Affairs Officer.

OOC: You see, one olive whips out his perperment (we all know that the permement is not put in during processing; it seperates male from female)... and then slams a female olive.

OOC: hahahaha. Again another laugh. :)

OOC: You see, one olive whips out his perperment (we all know that the permement is not put in during processing; it seperates male from female)... and then slams a female olive.

LOL, couldn't have explained it better myself. :D

"What about Virgin Lemonade?"
-Adolf Gorreing, Chief Foreign Affairs Officer.

Actually, the Dept. of Agriculture is now considering a review of all products which call themselves virgin. Right now they are focusing on some complaints about so called "virgin pine" forests and working out some logistics with the Department of the Interior and the Parks and Tourism agency.

Proof I'm bored. Here's all the definitions of olive oil types. (http://www.oliveoilnews.com/definitions.htm)

From: Falcania
To: Mauiwowee
I hear you are having problems. I generally find castrating olives the best way of ensuring that virgin olive oil is still achieved.