Godular
20-11-2004, 07:59
>NEWS BRIEF COMMENCES<
Breaking news today from the Godulan Governate as Grand Poobah Cassius Longarm reportedly shot the Godulan Health Minister several times in the head with a .44 magnum while cursing profusely.
"The bastard had it coming!" Cassius Longarm was quoted as saying as the corpse of former Health Minister Howard Krenzler was taken away on a gourney. "This was the fifth time... the FIFTH TIME... that he told us to make organ donation from deceased persons mandatory. WE ALREADY SAID YES. WE SAID YES EVERY TIME! The same damn issue actually came up twice in a row! I can see why he was unmarried, nobody could live with that type of idiocy. I had to do it."
"Its true!" Mirnaz Aktei declared in his palace on the coast of Jamaica. "As soon as we saw him on the viewscreen, everybody just groaned. I'm glad Cassius blasted the punk. He just wouldn't shut up about the damn organs! It was like a fetish or something..."
The other members of the Godulan Governate concurred with these assessments, including human-rights-monger Daven Cameron, the seventh archon of the Godulan Governate.
"Some people... are just too annoying. You begin to wonder how they made it through school. That kinda shit usually gets beat out of 'em by the other kids."
The Godulan Governate intends to send a letter to the Health Minister's parents expressing condolences for their loss, and also chastising them for not catching this problem earlier.
Dear Mister and Misses Krenzler, we are very sorry for your loss, but he had to die...
And in other news, another explorer died yesterday as a result of teddy-bear attacks during a cross-dimensional exploratory mission again, putting sixty three as the number of worlds known to support the volatile creatures...
>PRESS BRIEF ENDS<
Breaking news today from the Godulan Governate as Grand Poobah Cassius Longarm reportedly shot the Godulan Health Minister several times in the head with a .44 magnum while cursing profusely.
"The bastard had it coming!" Cassius Longarm was quoted as saying as the corpse of former Health Minister Howard Krenzler was taken away on a gourney. "This was the fifth time... the FIFTH TIME... that he told us to make organ donation from deceased persons mandatory. WE ALREADY SAID YES. WE SAID YES EVERY TIME! The same damn issue actually came up twice in a row! I can see why he was unmarried, nobody could live with that type of idiocy. I had to do it."
"Its true!" Mirnaz Aktei declared in his palace on the coast of Jamaica. "As soon as we saw him on the viewscreen, everybody just groaned. I'm glad Cassius blasted the punk. He just wouldn't shut up about the damn organs! It was like a fetish or something..."
The other members of the Godulan Governate concurred with these assessments, including human-rights-monger Daven Cameron, the seventh archon of the Godulan Governate.
"Some people... are just too annoying. You begin to wonder how they made it through school. That kinda shit usually gets beat out of 'em by the other kids."
The Godulan Governate intends to send a letter to the Health Minister's parents expressing condolences for their loss, and also chastising them for not catching this problem earlier.
Dear Mister and Misses Krenzler, we are very sorry for your loss, but he had to die...
And in other news, another explorer died yesterday as a result of teddy-bear attacks during a cross-dimensional exploratory mission again, putting sixty three as the number of worlds known to support the volatile creatures...
>PRESS BRIEF ENDS<