NationStates Jolt Archive

The international rumor mill has spawned yet another rumor:
Miriagrath, a small dictatorship filled with nudists, has shown signs of increased military action, though it is unclear who exactly the nation is planning to war against. Leading sources say that the offended nation has some form of grudge against neighboring nation La Chat De Noir, as well as the far away nation of Ante-Talaxia. No formal declarations of hostility have come forth, however, and the government denies all such rumors. Head honcho Julius Hearthewn has been heard to have said "Okay, so we're a bit peeved at certain members of the international community, but its not like we're going to go to war with them..."

Conspiracy Theorists in Miriagrath have just released a statement claiming that the "war urgings" of their government are little more than another scam by the populist government to raise patriotism amongst the citizenry. These theorists have been silenced with suprising speed, though the damage to the moral has been done.

Meanwhile, in Ante-Talaxia, at the Lee residence:

"Duuuude." As she read the newspaper, Winter Lee stuck her blunt out the window. Pressing a button, a lance of pure energy descended from the sky and struck the tip of the blunt, lighting it. Taking a drag, she sighed.

"Apparently the citizens of Miriagrath are pissed at us."

Billy-Bear Lee, one of two husbands, frowned. "After all those 'Free Miriagrath' rallies we all held? Not cool. What if they invade? The Miriagrathians have a colorful military history, you know."

Winter considered this. "Indeed," she said, "but they're freed now, and..."

"Under the control of a new dictator. And we can't quite count on the other Crestarian nations."

"What about Gothenhausen? They're totally squares now, yeah, but they're still our friends, and...they have groovy poetry nights. Remember when we rode Blaine into Despairville last Freyasday? Wasn't that awesome?"

Billy-Bear nodded. "And speaking of our favorite mono, I need to go be Hamlet now. Ask all the passengers whether tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows, etc, etc. Love ya dear. Give Jose an extra kiss from me whenever he gets back from that trip."

(Typical Breakfast Conversation In Ligtac)
"Damn those Hippie bastards! look right here, hunny...They've staged another "Free Miriagrath" protest....as if we're not free..."

"Oh you know how it is, dear...those government people always like to play their war games. I wish we could all just get along."

"Get along?! Get along?! Do you know how horrible these hippy people are? They'd quite easily devour our very souls!"

(child walks in, naked) "Papa! Do I have to go to school today? Its cold outside..."

The Commander of the Miriagrathian's Armed Forces, Lord Protector Gillette, has released an official statement regarding the current rumors of invasion:

"These rumors of invasion that have been spreading are completely unfounded! I am a close personal friend of Julius. He would never take over a nation unless it was in the nation's best interest to do so. Besides, that damnably offensive nation of drug addicts is to far away to control effectively."

In reference to the recent hostility towards Le Chat De Noir, Gillette grunted and replied with the following:

"Le Chat De Noir is a corrupt dictatorship thats to small to even be a nuisance to us. If we had wanted to take them over, they would be ours by now."

With that, he walked away from the press conference without any closing remarks, and was reportedly spotted in a local pub less than a half an hour later.

Le Chat De Noir's top general, General Frank, puts down his large plate of assorted meats. He had just heard from forgein spies within Miriagrath that their armies were mobilizing...also that they had made a threatening statement regarding Le Chat De Noir. He runs into Madame Dicator's main office, a huge room with every possible toy scattered around, and screams at the top of his lungs, "Miriagrath wishes us dead!"

Madame Dicator turns around and faces General Frank. She stands, very relaxed, and asks, "Why would our main friend want to attack us? Why doesn't he just ask for us to surrendor? I mean, come on Frank, who would want to face me?" She motions Frank out of the office. "But, then again, Miriagrath is a powerful dicatorship... Would our old friendship mean anything now?" She shuffles through some papers, seeing if they ever signed a peace agreement...

In a government facility just north of the capital:

"Wow this time it took them two months to complete a political book. Another one for the trash." George, one of the people who check through the books so no anti government material get on the shelves, states as he tosses the book in the shedder. "Sheez, Steve, as if the government hates Miriagrath just because it is more choatic."

Steve nods as he tosses another book on how to become a dicator in the shedder. "When will these writers learn?"