NationStates Jolt Archive

The U.D.D; or the Ultimate. Doomsday. Device.
Which may only be opened at the end of time.

State of the art Fire & Forget technology,
this ingenious piece of engineering can and
will ,maybe, doom the entire multiverse.

For sale, by way of auction, is a crack which will allow user to bypass the 365-digit security code & a mandatory retinal, cerebral, vocal, bloodtype, fingerprint & proboscis (IE: Nasal) scan. Entered using the Infernal Decrypterizer (19:90 SEK)

Successfull bidder will be able to use the UDD at anytime he/she wishes, and not have to wait until the end of time.

Clement Chambers
Chief Purchasing Officer
Ministry Of Scientific Modifications
Aviatoria
Holy Empire Of Mortondiri

(-But he/she/they will still have to aquire the darned thing.-)

From: Newbia's Ministry of Defence and other assorted goverment branches.
To: You.

"Nice try, but no banana.
Oh, and now your country's under a BLOCKADE."

"Have a nice day." :D
- King Newbhart IX.

OOC:FunFact. 19:90 sek is approx 2$...

Dear Sir/Madam, It seems your land, naval and air blockade of The Holy Empire Of Mortondiri is in direct violation of United Nation laws. Holy Emperor Aviatora VII demands that you withdraw your meagre forces immediately or you will face His Holy Majesty's Divine Wrath. That, or He will request UN assistance to remove the annoyance.

As for your percieved reasons for this illegal blockade, it is with puzzlement that His Holiness Archbishop Anuare II, asks:

"It is with great sorrow and anger that I learn of your hostile actions towards the Great and Holy Lands of Mortondiri - God's chosen people. What will you do upon your deathbed when you realise the magnitude or your blasphemous error? Repent. Repent now or Hell awaits you. Take my words to the heathen people of the Kingdom Of Newbia, and indeed to all the barbaric peoples of the Land Of BnG."

ooc: ehm, you have a doomsday device and you have a population of 6 million? unless you bought it for a low price, its really pretty impossable for a new nation like you to have that

OOC: :eek: Not the UN! Please God save him! Oh wait, God apparently wants to damn him.

ooc: ehm, you have a doomsday device and you have a population of 6 million? unless you bought it for a low price, its really pretty impossable for a new nation like you to have that
OOC: Am I right in presuming he doesn't actually claim to have a doomsday weapon, but a crack for one?

You are indeed right, The Holy Empire Of Mortondiri does not actually claim to have a UDD, but a crack which one may use to activate said device at any time. Orders are still being taken.

As for the illegal blockade, it wolud be most appreciated if you could somehow aid our glorious Holy Land in it's resistance of the hostile actions taken by the Kingdom Of Newbia.

Newbia,
While we will make no claims of irresponsibility on your
part in constructing a device to end the world, we must
urge you to reconsider your blockading of the nation of
Mortondiri. You set a great challenge in producing such
a device, and the crack from Mortondiri is purely a result
of commendable inquisitivity.
We ask you to recognise the ingenuity of Mortondiri.
Perhaps this progression could be benificial to you; there
are evidently things you yourselves can learn from these
scientists.
Respectfully,
Slaytanicca

OOC: Mortondiri dude, he's got a population of 4 billion and a frikkin doomsday device. I'm not messing with him :) Sorry.

We of Random Kingdom are releasing censorship virii into your nation's computer systems to delete the crack from all government computers, so that the chance of this being auctioned anytime soon is greatly reduced.

We of Random Kingdom are releasing censorship virii into your nation's computer systems to delete the crack from all government computers, so that the chance of this being auctioned anytime soon is greatly reduced.

Random Kingdom,
While we accept such actions as pacifistic in intent, we
must urge you to reconsider. An elegant crack is a thing
of beauty. We also believe the actions are unlikely to lift
the blockade on Mortondiri, and cooperation between the
two states involved a far more feasible path to peace.
Such an action also does not guarantee another crack
arising in the future. Cooperation between the two states
has a far more likely chance of stalling such. Every other
dictatorship and terrorist organisation in the world is
probably cracking the current protection as we speak, now
they know it's possible.
Respectfully,
Jeff C "Gorevomit", Slaytanicca

OOC:
We're currently involved in military action you may find unnecessary. See this (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7470092&posted=1#post7470092) if you want to slam us for it ;)
Knightmare was the S**T!! Although series' 1-3 did it for me, I must say.

To the heathen leaders of the barbarian state of Random Kingdom:

"Your attempts at infecting our national computer systems in order to delete the UDD crack on our government computers has fallen well short of your predictions. This is because we learned of the attempt beforehand. When you told us you were going to do it. So we were given ample time to disconnect all computer networks in the Holy Empire Of Mortondiri from those outside of our own control.

You may now consider your nationstate to be an enemy of the Second Holy Alliance. In Our eyes, The Random Kingdom is a nation of Great Evil. Consider yourself warned."

To the wise governing council of Slaytanicca:

"Your reasoned, level-headed assessment of the present situation is commendable. His Holiness Archbishop Anuare II blesses you.

It should be made well known to the nations of the world that The Holy Empire Of Mortondiri has never wished to go to war with any other people. The conflict with the Kingdom Of Newbia is regrettable, however we will defend our Holy lands till the death. Ours is is a righteous cause (as is anything our God-chosen nationstate does). Should we fall to the barbaric realm, we shall do so with glory and courage in the eyes of the world."

To the war-mongering mongrels of the Kingdom Of Newbia:

"A state of war now exists between us. Repent now, for you will soon meet Our maker..."

To the worthless, corrupt UN:

"You shall regret your indifference..."

Mortondiri,

Wise? Governing? Such words have never before been applied to us! We are stunned by your kind words.
Unfortunately we have no diplomatic ties with Newbia, neither do we have the naval strength to break the blockade. We may be able to reason with him to allow us to transport emergency aid to your nation, should you become in need of it. In addition, we are always interested in purchasing technologies, if this may help alleive your economic losses from this action. We are partuicularly interested in talking with the team who cracked the device - our top computer scientists obviously have much to learn from your.. mad skills.

Sincerely,
Jeff C Gorevomit, Slaytaniccan PM

A) The blockade is not illegal, we've got full rights to prevent (well, too late for that now.) that someone hacks the security & steals (also too late) the UDD. (We've only got one geez.)

B) They killed the King's wife. Bad move.

C) ... I got nothing.

-OOC:Newbie-

King of Newbia,

While we respect the reasons for the blockade, and appreciate you did not reach this decision rashly, we feel we must still protest. The blockade will not stop this crack from.. erm, having taken place, if you understand. Nor will it, to our knowledge, stop it being sold. Blockades stop trade of large tonnage of food, equipment and resources, things the people of Mortondiri need to live their everyday lives, but will not stop the transfer of a small piece of electronic data. We beg you to reconsider, as it is the people you are hurting, not the government or those selling this crack.

Our nation mourns for your wife. You have my personal sympathies.

Regards,
Jeff C Gorevomit, Slaytaniccan PM


OOC: Yeah, my guy's a bit of a sleaze :) And yeah, I'm n00b as fuck, how did you guess? :D

Let it be known that a full blockade on any country is reasons for full-out war for the blockaded.

And seeing as how they've done nothing wrong I'm afraid where going to have to break the Newbia blockade. Either with economical pressure or military pressure.

The Empire of Dumpsterdam gives the nation of Newbia a full 24 houres(rl) to remove its blockade of Mortondiri or actions shall be taken.

Erik Solar,
Imperial Councillor,
Minister of Foreign Affairs.

To the exalted Emperor of Dumpsterdam,

It is with enormous gratitude that I give thanks to you for your stance on the present crisis. Indeed, the whole of the Holy Empire rejoices.

Please feel free to drop around for tea whenever you wish.

Yours gratefully,

Holy Emperor Aviatora VII
Aviatoria
Holy Empire Of Mortondiri

I shall allert my Emperor to your request for tea party later on, I am not sure if he will honour your request but he will do his best.

Erik Solar,
Imperial Councillor,
Minister of Foreign Affairs.