NationStates Jolt Archive


DA Forms Official Suicide Bomber Corps

Decisive Action
04-11-2004, 09:03
"This is Joseph Mladic of the White Peoples Radio and Television Network. A short while ago, the Czar announced that he would permit single males aged 14 to 22 to volunteer to form a loosely organized collection of martyr battalions. Today we are proud to announce we have forty battalions (500 in each) of 'Seekers of Martyrdom.'"


(Cut to footage of about 1000 youths aged 15-17 in BDUs with 20-30 pounds of C-4 strapped on their chests and backs with web gear) They are chanting, "Hail Fabus! For Fabus! To die for Fabus is to live forever!"


(Back to Mladic)

"The Czar stated that he made the decision to allow the "Seekers of Martyrdom" Corps to form under advice given to him by his father, who was speaking on the behalf of a society of gifted men, intelligent advisors who are able to determine through detailed analysis, what is best for the military and political machine of state.


Ooc- These are self-defense suicide bombers, they will do things such as dive under hostile tanks, jump into clusters of troops... Their units will only be mobilized if DA was in a serious military campaign. These are NOT terrorists.
Blacktower
04-11-2004, 10:30
hmm..... interesting idea...
Ancient and Holy Terra
04-11-2004, 10:48
Though the Republic of Ancient Terra cannot fathom ever sending men into battle knowing that they would die, we do see the military logic behind it.
Axis Nova
04-11-2004, 11:15
Looks like equipping my main battle tanks with big flamethrowers was a good investment after all.
Monetistan
04-11-2004, 11:30
Monetistan, Greater Crescent Headquarters

"It's a chance?" The CEO asked, stretching her legs into the general direction of a nearby sycophant.

"Yes. Yes it is." His sycophant answered while licking his CEO's attractive feet.

A few days later

Greater Crescent Presents:

Toys for the advanced, patriotic children!

Do you live in a patriotic nation, led by homicidal maniacs, despised by the international community (except a few other homicidal maniacs), your parents always away, training in the army or the paramilitary forces?

Are you frustrated because you're alone, at home, unable to do what NEEDS to be done for your country, too young to join your father in the armed services, to young to join your mother in the glorious guest of working as a full time breeding womb to bear more soldiers for the motherland?

Buy SUICIDE BOMBS! If you don't have the money, ask your parents, we're sure they will help you in the glorious quest of increasing the glory of your nation!

If there are severe restriction on imports in place,MAIL YOUR GOVERNMENT, YOUR ALL- KNOWING LEADER! We're sure they will support your cause and BUY for you, SENDING you our products!

We have everything! You're too young to carry large amount of explosives? Buy the TINY BOY PACKAGE! Shrapnels, and perfect for anti- infantry (Or civilian) usage!

Older boys, don't worry, the TANKBUSTER- LOADS! are ready! Buy and enjoy!

This and MANY OTHER PRODUCTS, like the C4 plushy bear or the womb bomb doll, only HERE, at GREATER CRESCENT!

Unprofessional use of Greater Crescent products may result in ill- timed detonation. Greater Crescent does not take responsibility for unwanted damage due to unprofessional usage of Greater Crescent Products. Greater Crescent Explosives are dangerous material and should be kept from children, due to security issues. Should a customer decide to ignore the warnings displayed here, Greater Crescent Products does not take any kind of responsibility in the case of accidents occuring.

Same Time, Monetistan

For a moment, the CEO thought she had gone to far.

But then, business is business. And so she continued sipping from her wine, enjoying the massage.
Credonia
04-11-2004, 11:37
Credonia fails to see the specific and practical logic of this highlyt ineffective tactic. Furthermore, we are deeply concerned that these "suicide bombers" could go off on a tangent at any given time and become terrorists, inflicting harm on innocent nations.

Credonia has been one of the biggest fighters of terrorism in the world to date and we will not hesitate to deal with your terrorists should it come to that. This is not a threat. This is merely a warning. Keep your people in line. If there are reports that your suicide bombers are attacking nations and you are not at war, you will be hearing again from the nation of Credonia with the backing of the entire international community. Mark our words. We rarely go back on what we say.
The Imperial Navy
04-11-2004, 11:59
Hmm... I see you have an army of depressed teens who want to end their pointless existance... :D
Moleland
04-11-2004, 12:46
OOC: it would appear so!
The Phoenix Milita
04-11-2004, 12:50
Decisive Action citizens to be trained as suicide bombers eh? What an ingenious way to make use of such obvious trash.
-FMMSII
Decisive Action
04-11-2004, 18:43
Czar Fabus addressed a large crowd of the "Seekers of Martyrdom" Corps as he stood at the party conference center in Philadelphia, Mississippi. The center was large and open, marble laid down in perfect order, not even a sixteenth of an inch above any other part, all smooth and level. He had walked over to the podium and then, started to speak.


"Seekers of Martyrdom, you are assembled here today to be sworn into your positions and soldify your special bond with God, via your holy oaths..."


They all started to pray in Latin as Roger led the prayer, when he was done, he held out a bible and each youth walked up to the podium, kissed the bible, and then walked on back to his spot in line. The bible kissing took about an hour as there were well over two thousand youths assembled.

Then the Bishop of the Mississippian Orthodox Catholic Church said a few words, "Warriors of Christ, you should consider joining the struggle against the muslim heathen in Chechnya, any who die in a crusade for God shall live on always."