NationStates Jolt Archive

Are your prisons over crowded? Tired of paying thousands per year, per person, to feed and cloth and gaurd the scum of the earth? Is execution not an option? Then let us deal with them!

We here at Kanuckistani Prison Services are dedicated to providing maximum security incarseration services to the international community at minimum cost to society; for a one time fee of a mere $100 USD per person, your nation can be rid of those who threaten society, no questions asked!


(Note: Lifetime imprisonment only)



Kanuckistani Prison Services(tm) is a subsidiary of Uniphase Armouries Interversal(tm)

The Aequatian Republic has already solved the problem of overcrowding in prisons, with the construction of labour camps around the nation, we are both helping our economy grow and decreasing prison numbers.

The Aequatian Republic has already solved the problem of overcrowding in prisons, with the construction of labour camps around the nation, we are both helping our economy grow and decreasing prison numbers.

But you're also taking jobs away from honest citizens and immigrants.

Our great empire has no need for prisons. We have a 0% crime rate thanks to our police force and our impulsive military service.

We though, do appreciate your wanting to help otherwise more risky nations help in their crime rate problem

Shaz Bot, Emporer
The Hly Emire of Shazbotdom

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Official Statement from The Proletariat Commonwealth of The Island of Rose:

What's wrong with executing them? I swear, why waste millions of dollars on prisoners. Now another solution is to have an extensive welfare system like us. I mean, why rob when you're not poor? Or you could have police every five feet. But what we do is castrate offenders, no man or woman wants to be castrated, nope. Anyway, just kill them or castrate them. Either way, it works. Oh and we'd like to send 5 rapists. Stupid Nikolai is sleeping, bah. Why did he drink that vodka...
-President Sergei Ilyanov of The Island of Rose
http://img115.exs.cx/img115/8470/PresidentSergei.jpg

But you're also taking jobs away from honest citizens and immigrants.

So does having robotics and automatic machinery... but meh, work can always be found else where.

Official Statement from The Proletariat Commonwealth of The Island of Rose:

What's wrong with executing them? I swear, why waste millions of dollars on prisoners. Now another solution is to have an extensive welfare system like us. I mean, why rob when you're not poor? Or you could have police every five feet. But what we do is castrate offenders, no man or woman wants to be castrated, nope. Anyway, just kill them or castrate them. Either way, it works. Oh and we'd like to send 5 rapists. Stupid Nikolai is sleeping, bah. Why did he drink that vodka...
-President Sergei Ilyanov of The Island of Rose
http://img115.exs.cx/img115/8470/PresidentSergei.jpg

In executing them, you are still left with the costs inherent in the method of execution, as well as desposal; many nations also consider it immoral, and so we provide a cheap alternative.

Regaurdless, the 5 persons in question can be droped off at the airport on HappyFunLand Isle; it's the one shaped like a giant skull off the northeastern Kanuckistani mainland.

Payment can be made electronicly or upon delivery.

In executing them, you are still left with the costs inherent in the method of execution, as well as desposal; many nations also consider it immoral, and so we provide a cheap alternative.

Regaurdless, the 5 persons in question can be droped off at the airport on HappyFunLand Isle; it's the one shaped like a giant skull off the northeastern Kanuckistani mainland.

Payment can be made electronicly or upon delivery.

Official Statement from The Proletariat Commonwealth of The Island of Rose:

The money has been wired. Stupid Nikolai, bah. And what's so expensive about shooting somebody, even though he might not be dead by then. Kidding, we use the standard 5 men 1 bullet technique. Either way, they knew they shouldn't have commited the crime. Anyway, thank for accepting our men. And uh... Happy Fun Land Island? That's wrong.
-President Sergei Ilyanov of The Island of Rose
http://img115.exs.cx/img115/8470/PresidentSergei.jpg

In executing them, you are still left with the costs inherent in the method of execution, as well as desposal;
.
Well here in TPM, serious offenders are sent into a great pit in the middle of Death Valley, CA, TPM; surrounded by an electrified 12foot high barbed wire fence, solar powered of course. They simply starve, die of heat exahustion or freeze to death. Best of all, no messy burials to deal with, the vultures take care of it!

This is one of the many reasons our crime is so low :p

Pri-zon? What is this Prizon? I'm guessing it has something to do with kri-min-als, which do not exist in our perfect Technocracy. Of course, any miss-behaving droid is deleted by being virusified. Fleshy-humans are dead before they can commit a crime due to the fact that it always rains aci with a PH level of 2 here.

And uh... Happy Fun Land Island? That's wrong.


We enjoy irony.

We enjoy irony.

Thats nice to know. At least the prisoners will be surrounded by ironic names, like "The torture room of relaxation" and "The Bathroom of cleanliness"...

Thats nice to know. At least the prisoners will be surrounded by ironic names, like "The torture room of relaxation" and "The Bathroom of cleanliness"...

No, no; such is far to blaintent. While our actual facilities are a trade secret, to borrow one of your examples, a hypothetical torture room may be named something along the lines of "Recreation Facility."

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FallCorp the Governing Coporate body of FallschirmmJager would be interested in investigating a joint venture in Rehabilitation Services.
We would like to explore the possibility of a merger between our ICF(International Correctional Facility) and your Prison program.
International Correctional Facility (http://s7.invisionfree.com/AoH_Official_Board/index.php?showtopic=18)

On behalf of the people of Reknown I thank you for the concideration. We regretfuly do not have a need for your service.

Her Divine Grace Empress Theodora

FallCorp the Governing Coporate body of FallschirmmJager would be interested in investigating a joint venture in Rehabilitation Services.
We would like to explore the possibility of a merger between our ICF(International Correctional Facility) and your Prison program.
International Correctional Facility (http://s7.invisionfree.com/AoH_Official_Board/index.php?showtopic=18)

Kanuckistani Prison Services is engaged exclusivly in the lifetime incarceration of serious offenders, and our parent company is not interested in a merger of their property with yours.

That said, we would be interested if you were to consider outsourcing the imprisonment of persons fitting the above description to our facilities, which we can acomplish at a fraction of the costs you would incurr through continued in-house containment.

The FallCorp. Earns money through in-house Rehabilitation.
SO the out sourcing of Such criminals is unlikly.
Research into sub-contracting our High Escape Risk Inmates is underway.
Statistically the Largest portion of incacerated are not 'NoRelease' inmates.
You turn down an excessive amount of Business by that simple fact.
The least profitable inmates for the ICF are 'NoRelease' HERI,
Simple business 101 dictates that you have an excess of a particular good(less then life convicts) to which we provide a service you do not.
We have non-cost effective service line-to which you offer a solution.
The merger of our two services is business smart.
However, the declination of our may be attributed to some Ideological difference.
FallCorp is a For Profit Company leading a For Profit nation.
Our Institution operate under the premise that we supply a service to a need for a return on our efforts in monitary gain.
Your nation may have some Ideological premise behind your institutions.
We regret that a more profitable venture could be entered into.
Sincerely FallCorp Chief Executive Officer
David Heidenreich

The FallCorp. Earns money through in-house Rehabilitation.
SO the out sourcing of Such criminals is unlikly.
Research into sub-contracting our High Escape Risk Inmates is underway.
Statistically the Largest portion of incacerated are not 'NoRelease' inmates.
You turn down an excessive amount of Business by that simple fact.
The least profitable inmates for the ICF are 'NoRelease' HERI,
Simple business 101 dictates that you have an excess of a particular good(less then life convicts) to which we provide a service you do not.
We have non-cost effective service line-to which you offer a solution.
The merger of our two services is business smart.
However, the declination of our may be attributed to some Ideological difference.
FallCorp is a For Profit Company leading a For Profit nation.
Our Institution operate under the premise that we supply a service to a need for a return on our efforts in monitary gain.
Your nation may have some Ideological premise behind your institutions.
We regret that a more profitable venture could be entered into.
Sincerely FallCorp Chief Executive Officer
David Heidenreich


You missunderstand our purpose; Kanuckistani Prison Services was created to deal strictly in forgine offenders only - domentic needs are already met, by both other subsidiaries of our parent company and their competitors.

As for our interest in exclusivly non-release offenders, such a condition is core to out economical model - provisions for prisoner release would drasticly increase expenses and requior the creation of additional infastructure. We cater to a niche market, as it were.

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Bump for a non-competitor.

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