NationStates Jolt Archive

Today 1000 KKK members were cleverly caught and arrested. We used the latest technology, burning sticks. We stuck them in their little hole and smoked the buggers out. The officer in charge said that he was surprised at the amount of different facial expressions that the morons had on their faces when their masks were removed. Police are currently rounding them up. 10 have died due to being killed by their friends when their backs were turned in the great KKK tradition. This statement was released earlier by the chief of the police.
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These people are too low and disgraceful to even tread on our sacred soil so we are getting rid of them. The person who offers the most money and the best method of torture will get these scum. We wish to dispense of them ASAP.
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Ten million for the lot, along with a free Typhoon-II with missiles.

BUMP!
Can't let them go this cheap, and tell us what you have planned for them.

I will take em for free,
But i will take one at a time away form the others and paint him or her black. Then put him or her back in the others and throw a few knives in... this will continue until there are only a few left... then a mob of black men come in with knuckle dusters.
Thats how we treat racists in my country :P

Your idea is intriguing, however, we will not give them away. These peopleare in prime condition for target practice, and, when sedated will not object to any method of toruture.

We would like one hundred of them, for top secret purposes. We do not wish any records to be kept of our purchase. We are willing to provide $50 million for them.

Taldaan Defence Ministry, Science, Research, and Development Department

We will gladly dispose of 100 of these rats to you. We would however require your assurance that you will not set them free or be nice to them. They must be tortured and eventually killed.

We can certainly promise that they won't be set free or well treated. They will spend their days rotting in an undisclosed location. We aren't sure if they will be killed or tortured, we are simply going to "experiment". Once again, we don't want any of this recorded.

Taldaan Defence Ministry, Science, Research, and Development Department

we will let them run free in our country 4a night,letting them think they are safe and then one by one they will b killed until there r a few left then we will release them in2 a crowd of strong horny gay men an women

We can certainly promise that they won't be set free or well treated. They will spend their days rotting in an undisclosed location. We aren't sure if they will be killed or tortured, we are simply going to "experiment". Once again, we don't want any of this recorded.

Taldaan Defence Ministry, Science, Research, and Development Department
In that case, please wire the money as soon as possible.
They have taken off by Globemaster transport. We have set up a compartment with space for 20 people and put all 100 of them in there. We would rather that they don't contaminate the entire plane.

*Money wired*

The professor sat hunched over his computer screen. He smiled as the message flashed up. Soon, he would have all the test material he needed for Project Omicron. He had waited such a long time for this, and the KKK auction was like a gift from the gods to him. He looked back over his shoulder. He had always been a little paranoid, and now, with everything that had happened recently, his condition was getting worse. He knew that Taldaan was a liberal nation, with no secret police to speak of, but the consequences would be dire if he was found to be working on illegal military projects.
The Omicron Project had been debated in government several times, but every time it had been massively defeated: the government refused to allow it as it was in breach of human rights. However, there was a strong movement of dissent among the military upper branches, and now a few members had decided to defy the government ruling and continue with the work in secret.
The professor picked up the telephone on the desk, and with shaking hands, punched in a number. He put his ear against it, hearing the phone at the other end ring.....once.....twice....three times.....four.....
There was a noise as the person at the other end accepted the call.
"It's the professor. We have some subject primates arriving at Taldaani International Airport Government Area. They'll be arriving by Globemaster transport very soon. Get enough trucks to hold a hundred of them: it's a large shipment. And get some of the handlers out there with tranquilisers, these are vicious apes. For that same reason, I don't want anyone else coming near them. Make sure you don't get seen."
There was a mutter of affirmation at the other end.
"Good. I'll see you later, with the monkeys."

Five transport trucks pulled up at Taldaan International. They were painted grey, and completely unmarked. They were followed in by three cars, black, and also unmarked. Ten black-clothed soldiers climed out, clutching Heckler and Koch sub-machine guns.

Around twenty minutes later, the Globemaster touched down. The cargo were herded down the ramp, guns trained on them. Some of the KKK members were praying, some merely glanced around in terror.
The professor stepped forwards. He opened his mouth, and spoke in a calm, fairly deep voice.
"Welcome to Taldaan. We have accomodation ready for you. Now, if you would please form an orderly queue, we can get started. I want the first twenty of you, yes, up to the bald man with the moustache, to walk up the ramp into the back of that truck."
He pointed one long finger.
One of the KKK men spoke up.
"This is Taldaan, isn't it? Renowned for liberalism and fair trials? If so, do we get lawyers?"
The professor chuckled.
"Yes, this is Taldaan. And we are renowned for both those things. But you are KKK scum, and you aren't in the hands of the government. The government doesn't know you exist."
The man tried to run, but the professor snapped his fingers. One of the soldiers stepped forwards, raised his gun, and fired. The bullet punched through him, killing him instantly.
"I believe that should serve as an example, if a waste of material. Now, get moving."
The KKK men were herded onto the trucks, then driven away, never to be seen again.

We intende to crush their arms and legs, then amputate their testes with blunt blades and leave them to bleed to death while being attacked by small yet vicious rats.

ouch, sounds great!:)
So, do I have a vote to outdo DPUO's admittedly impressive one?