NationStates Jolt Archive

Boredom had strangled Fod into submission, and those who represented Fod were dying slow and painful deaths. Excruciating and torturous means of execution were employed as the Minister of Education was writhing in his office, twitching uncontrollably on his floor. The Clerk for the Photography Department was curled in her chair behind her desk, shivering in a little ball mumbling incoherent nothings. The Tribunal of Ura-Arooso had retired from playing patty-cake extreme, to gnaw on each others limbs, while the Secretary of Commerce in an adjacent room laughed maniacally, staring to the ceiling as she rolled back and forth on her desk. The closet door in the hall was rattling in a worrying manner, blue foam spilling from the seams.

All of this, by Boredom, of course.

In the Ministry of Defense, in the Department of Cartology, an Aide had gone insane and began scribbling random letters over anything he could get a hold of. Sometimes, he even ate one or two. Currently, he was gnawing on a map of Somalia which had 'd3at' scribbled over it in green paint, growling a bit.

The Clerk to the PM was playing hopscotch outside this room.

"One.. Two.. Three. Ack!"

The eraser she was tossing went a bit too far, and winded up behind a Water Cooler. Sigh. Now that boredom had started up its rapid dissolving of her mind once more, she decided to go join the Tribunal. Before her first step even, a small explosion of sorts came from the Cartology Department. Random maps went fluttering out into the hall, blocking her path.

"Lava! No!"

Boredom worked quickly on the mind. So now content with a new game, she tip toed delicately through the minefield of maps, stepping only onto the floor. Twirl, hop, step step step. Oh, but what's this? A pretty looking orange color caught her attention.

"Hmm.. What's this here.."

And so she stooped over, and plucked from the debris what would soon come to be the plans for a massive Imperial Expansion.

"Dyethylamadia.. Norleans.. Kopparburgs- Oh my god they have cows!"

And off she skipped to the Imperial Suite. She likes cows. Muchly (http://img84.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img84&image=Moo.png).

And so after all the proper paper work was filled out, an invasion force was assembled off the Fodian Noo Yawk coast.

A small contingent of the Armed Forces had gathered to see off the first Invasion Fleet. A small contingent which consisted of, the entire Armed Forces of the Fodian Federation. Yes, here, at Pier 18 of Noo Yawk Harbor, the entire Army was gathered, to see off the first Ship into Battle.

Pier 18 was a lost hope. 'Twas the old fashion sort, wooden planks propped up by shanty pillars sticking haphazardly from the Harbors waters, decrepit timber slanting into the sea as decay took hold of its entirety. The steel tide of the Atlantic was high, consuming the Pier midway through as it bellied down to the sea, yet the edges on either the land or the air were still held proudly and straight, and would be for many more... Hours. The whole dock by breadth could hold no more than three, it's length more than a city block wandering out into the water. It was a forgotten setting, lost amid the monotony of the industrial concrete front along a Man-hat-in-hand water front.

And yes, here, the entire Fodian Federal Army was now gathered.

The whole Army, numbering in at Two.

Mister Pearson, and his Daughter. His Daughter, has the name of Dolly (http://stevegarufi.com/januaryextraextra2.jpg). And Dolly, will be your Invasion Fleet for the day.

"Now sweetie, once you go and annex Columbia, Venezuela, Guyana, Seriname, and French Guina, come right home!"

"Otay."

"Off you go dear!"

And Mister Pearson would pick his daughter up by the waist, stoop to his knees, and place her ever so gingerly into the water. Not until she was in up to her shoulders did he let her go, ever so carefully, and get himself back away from the water. Little Dolly bobbed in the Harbors waters for a bit, and waved to her Daddy, who waved back, a proud Father.

And so Dolly began her long swim to (eV) South America.

A cute-as-can-be Dolly was wading her way out of the Ocean. Although she had been doggy paddling for the past many weeks, she was perfectly in tact, and even of a sound mind. She was following the Gulf Stream when a storm blew her Battalion off course, and the whole Division had to double back up to Yivon to regroup. By the time the Invasion Force was organized again, he Hair decided to commit an act of mutiny, but it was put down swiftly by some Hairpins. The crew was getting Angsty, and it was about time they made landfall.

She skipped out from the Ocean, perfectly dry mind you, and onto the beach.

"Hurm. I 'tink I be lost."

She set on the sand, and took out her Rugrats lunch pail, which she set ever so carefully onto the ground, clicking it open with wide eyes. An enthusiastic gasp, and she snatched a little sandwich baggy of cookies with a giggle.

"Hurm. This is Neo-Soviet.. Russia. Darn. Almost there."

She placed the cookie bag back into the lunch pail, snapped it shut, and took the pail from the ground as she stood. A pull of the shifty eyes, cue evil music, and she skipped back out into the Sea. 'Twas time to deal with the Mutineers.

The Grand Imperial Forces of the Almighty and World Dominating Fodian Federation breached the horizon in all of its iredescent Glory and Lust, the eerie sight of the long known and widely feared Battle Force something to strike fear into the hearts of small children and the eldery, as the middle aged demographic recieved only minor inflamation and naseua. The ominous sight of the Heart of the Battle was one any wish they would never see, and it came ever closer to the shores in all of its sadistic aura.

With pigtails.

Dolly had reached South America! As she set foot onto the beach, the Continent quaked. She clicked open her lunch pail again, pulled a bundle of cloth from within, and clicked it closed as she propped it down in the sand, the cloth held tightly under her arm. She straightened out her pleated skirt with her free hand, settled herself with a deep breath, and prepared for the attack.

Cue shifty eyes. She skipped a few more feet onto the beach, for the tide was rising. And now content with her new location, onto the attack!

She pulled from her hair, two hairpins. Oh joyous hairpins, how you kept the order in the fleet, and how you were always there for us when times were hard. Now, you will be remembered always. As heros. A big flap, and she opened up the cloth.

The Fodian Flag. Oh boy.

She waddled all innocent and cute like to a conveniently placed flagpole, pinned the flag to the conveniently placed rope, and began hoisting it up. A tedious chore for a six year old, she tired almost as soon as she started, huffing and bouncing up and down.

"Huff! Itssa heavy!"

She stomped her foot, left the flag a quarter raised, and plopped down on the ground. She folded her arms and pouted. For a long while. If only some kind soul would help the poor child. She even had some Lolipops to share, yet alas, there she was, alone. Maybe a quick nap would do the trick.

She had accomplished the raising of the flag, and now stood sucking a lolipop as she saluted the symbol of the Fascist- Er I mean, Fodian Federation.

"On behawf of Fod..."

For all small children have speech impediments.

"...I annex these lands. North of Dyethylamida, Kopparburgs, and Norleans of South America, the equivilant of Columbia, Venezuela, Guyana, Seriname, and French Guina on the base of the Mutliverse."

The little tyke yawned, and stretched out her arms. To repeat myself, 'Twas quite a job for a child!

"If any citisen does p'otest.."

Cue shifty eyes.

"..Neener neener on you!"

And so the Federation Annexed some more land; All thanks to the "Uber-Deat 1337 Awesomeness of the Fodian Federal Armed Forces of Dhoomedness and Ultimate Awesomeness of Dhoom and Uber-Glory Power Omg Powahz of So Very Killer Widely Feared and Feared Some More Armed Forces."

To The International Community:

We have that now. Good day.

The General Cabinet
Fodmodmadtol

Official Statement from The Proletariat Commonwealth of The Island of Rose:

You guys are pathetic.
-Vice President Orcha Yultanov of The Island of Rose

Ignored again by the international community for no reason! :)
Just kidding...

How did I get in here?

"What's that mister snake?"

She proddedd the Boa with a stick.

"Waitasecond.. Did you just say- Redeplowment?! Awe, shucks! Well, I hafta go now Mister Snake. Bai bai!"

And she gave the Boa the stick she proddedd it with, turned on heel and began skipping through the jungle. Settlers from the Federation had come in droves since the Occupation, and it already seemed as if it had always been part of the Federa, Agricultural Plants springing up everywhich way. Small Townships even began growing along the beach. Modernization could be a good thing at times, although the Federations impact had yet to be seen. A skip, hop, skadoo, and she was off running across the sand. She waved to the other children playing on the beach, and went splashing out into the Ocean.

Africa was only so far away.

OOC:
Bravo. First child ruler roleplay that I actually love.

And the Canaries swarmed.

"My mini-uns! Come to me!"

They flocked into the shallows as Dolly surfaced. A squall of yellow fluff and high pitched squeaks engulfed the sky, the sounds of dozens of hundreds Canaries echoeing far and wide, the birds becoming one with the clouds and the sky, the sun sprouting feathers and the moon tinting yellow. The Giant Canary God of the Canary Islands has soared from the horizon to sweep over the dots in the sea to only pass over and dissappear behind the other rim of the earth in a blurr and a shriek.

And then Dolly ran out of Pixie Stix.

She wound up on the beach, shivering, curled up in a ball.

"Issa so cold.."

Carefully getting to her feet, she brushed off the sand, and began staggering up more onto the shore. Scouts had hidden a Care Package of brownies here for when she arrived. She had a very nice Mommy, and she made enough so she could share with the Canaries. She hadn't seen any yet, aside from those from the Sugar High, and was a bit dissapointed. She plopped down as she reached a stretch of tall grasses, and sighed. She dug around in her pocket, pulled out a Fodian Flag that would decorate a coctail, and stuck it into the sand.

"On behalf of the Fodian Federa I annex the Canary Islands."

And so it was nap time.

"And so the Great Canary god doth provide fish, and foul, and doth he Bumpeth as for protest to this lawfull annexation of these Lands."

In short, she was now playing a game of Hide and Seek with a Pheasant.

"Doth thou protesteth, Pheasant? Dost thou?! Dost thou?!"

And so she was chased by the Bird.

Meanwhile, back at the Ministry, for we all know how anxious you all are regarding the scene at the Ministry. A memo had passed through the Inbox of a Random Minion in some Random Department regarding Random Imperialism.

To Whom It May Concern:

Like, oh my god. Texasomethinghardtospell has like, totally, collapsed! The past administration of Neo-Facsist Pig-Dogs has totally, like, evaporated! Oh my god, wouldn't it be like, so super awesome cool if we, like, annexed it? That Nation which occupied the sooo completely South American lands, Texasomethinghardtospell, is like, gone! I'll like, send over some totally neato troops. Cool beans!

Waste of the Budget
Random Minion
Department of Valley Girl

And the Minion who was reviewing this memo, dragged the South American map across his desk, and took out a large red marker. A swoop over South America, and the Texasomethinghardtospell territories were officially considered annexed by Fodmodmadtol.

"We must dispatch... Something. The Pigeon Division it is!"

And so, the order was given to mobilize the Air Force of the Fodian Federation. A flock of two dozen pigeons was sent out to Texasomethinghardtospell to secure the South American lands adjacent to the Southern Federal Expanse.

"Approaching the Border."

"Well then, that's quite dandy. Halt right here, then. That'll do."

The London Taxi pulled up to the Pennsylvanian-Fodian border, and stopped. Mister Pearson tapped the brim of his bowler, and winked to the driver.

"Unlock the doors if you will, Sir. Thank you kindly."

And the doors unlatched. Mister Pearson turned around to his Wife in the back seat, and smiled meekly.

Misses Pearson, had hit menopause last week. She had been going through the bouts of hot flashes, mood swings, extremist anger, and suicide attempts the phases of menopause bring to any average woman. Why, it was just last Tuesday she threatened to slaughter everyone in the Military of Defense and launch a nuclear missile at Crsyindom. It was a pity, too, for just as she was reaching for the button she slipped in a pool of blood the Military Police had left when she slit their throats. She clocked her head real good, and her pearl necklace snapped.

Pity. Those pearls were such a compliment to her smile.

"Now sweetie, all you-"

Mister Pearson was then sucked into the back of the Taxi. He was then tossed into the windshield naked.

"Okay sweetie, I understand."

The Taxi then exploded into a thick inferno. Misses Pearson came walking, neat and tidy, from the smoke that engulfed the wreck. She crossed to the Pennsylvania border carrying an Apple Pie.

Smile, Smile.

<OOC>
I have got to get whatever Meds you're taking!

TEO