NationStates Jolt Archive

Once again, the time has come for the people of Roach-Busters to elect a Presidential candidate. The Patriot Party has unanimously nominated President J.L. and Vice-President Calvin Cyprian to run for re-election. Here are the other candidates:

Harold R. Lord- Candidate of the Moderate Party. Considered far less of a moderate extremist than the previous candidates the party has nominated. Nearly every presidential candidate the party has ever nominated has been an almost fanatically radical middle-of-the-roader, but Lord's moderation is far more, uh, moderate.

Timmy Farter- Candidate of the Cringing Coward Party. Considered to be a wimp in international affairs, an ineffective and incompetent lout in domestic affairs, a radical pantheist, and an all-around loser. A hell of a nice guy in person, though, and has huge buck teeth.

Donald Megan- Candidate of the Neoconservative Party. Favors massive government spending and increased government, though he wishes to spend slightly less than liberals and increase the size of the government at a slightly slower rate.

John Lenin and Vladimir Lennon- Candidates of the recently legalized RB Communist Party. If elected, they will nationalize all industries, increase welfare spending, socialized medicine, higher taxes for the wealthy, a minimum wage, higher education funding, greater racial and economic equality, etc., and will work hard to improve workers' rights.

Lu Ni Man- Candidate of the Warmonger Party. Will make gun ownership and military service compulsory for all citizens. Will impose a 100% tax rate on every citizen, and spend money only on defense. Promises to entangle the nation in at least 10 wars if elected.

Jill Sprinton- Candidate of the Lefty Loosy Party. Will introduce more socialistic aspects to the government, and will pursue an authoritarian economic policy buy a libertarian social policy (pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, legalization of all drugs, etc.).

Che Trotsky- Candidate of the Radical Revolutionary Party. Will immediately establish an anarchy and resign the day he is elected.

Tanner, the village idiot- Not affiliated with any party. Is unsure of why he is running, and of the fact that he is running in the first place.

Um, do u want us to say who we vote for?Er, do we have no decision in deciding the vote?

oh nvm

bump

((OOC: I'm goin for the idiot :D ))

(OOC: Could you please give a few more details on those listed for possible election/re-election? Also...Couldn't you have done a better than job naming the communists 'John Lenin and Vladimir Lennon'? *shakes fist then sighs*)

Added candidates' stands on the issues.

(If anyone has questions for the candidates, please don't hesitate to ask)

((OOC: I'm goin for the idiot :D ))

((OOC: Me, too.))

"I have question for Tanner. What is your ideas about the military?" said a reporter for WANews.

"I have question for Tanner. What is your ideas about the military?" said a reporter for WANews.

Tanner: "Duh, huh? Uh, do you got fruit? I, uh...I don't...I do...I do not...I...huh?...I...I like...I like f-f-fruit...fruit."

Tanner: "Duh, huh? Uh, do you got fruit? I, uh...I don't...I do...I do not...I...huh?...I...I like...I like f-f-fruit...fruit."

"Here take this apple." said a reporter for WANews.

"Here take this apple." said a reporter for WANews.

"Huh? Wha?...I, uh...can I have...I want...do you...the taco...have...c-c-c-c-can I have a, uh, uh, t-taco? I'm...you're...I am...not...no, I...I am...hungry."

"Huh? Wha?...I, uh...can I have...I want...do you...the taco...have...c-c-c-c-can I have a, uh, uh, t-taco? I'm...you're...I am...not...no, I...I am...hungry."

"Here take this 10 dollor bill and go to Taco Bell." said a reporter for WANews as he head the 10 dollor bill to Tanner.

"Here take this 10 dollor bill and go to Taco Bell." said a reporter for WANews as he head the 10 dollor bill to Tanner.

"Squirrelies! Gah! Gah! Squirrelies! Jimmy, Garfunkel, keep the squirrelies away!" Tanner screamed in a frightened voice, as he leapt from the ten story window to his death.

"Squirrelies! Gah! Gah! Squirrelies! Jimmy, Garfunkel, keep the squirrelies away!" Tanner screamed in a frightened voice, as he leapt from the ten story window to his death.

"That sucks. He had the lead." said a reporter for WANews

The United Imperium of Crossman endorses Tanner. Though we are unsure as to why.

The United Imperium of Crossman endorses Tanner. Though we are unsure as to why.

Dude, Tanner's dead.

Dude, Tanner's dead.

All votes go to his brother, right.

Skar sat at his desk, reading the newpaper...

Another election? Meh, another easy couple of billion.. he thought to himself as he lifted the phone off of the reciever and dialed JL.

Skar sat at his desk, reading the newpaper...

Another election? Meh, another easy couple of billion.. he thought to himself as he lifted the phone off of the reciever and dialed JL.

President J.L. picked up the phone. "Hello? Skar, I'll be damned! It's been ages! How have you b-" He nodded. "Ah, so you heard, eh? Okay...uh-huh. Sure, that would be great! Is 5 billion per candidate an adequate price?"

"Of course, old friend, five billion is fine. I'm heading down on the next flight, have a car wait."

Lu Ni man

The communist are winning the election!

Pacitalia backs and fully supports President J.L., our friend and ally, in their reelection campaign.

Oh, and if you aren't re-elected, you're still invited to the PMB. ;)

Secret Message to President JL:

We are shocked by these polls. If you need me to assasinate the Communists, I'll be glad to send in some SAVAK agents.

-Shah Khosru of Parthia

A tie between President J.L. and Lenin & Lennon.

OOC:Don't worry about anyone other than J.L. winning, RB always hires the same assasin from my country to knock them off in creative ways.

Secret Message to President JL:

We are shocked by these polls. If you need me to assasinate the Communists, I'll be glad to send in some SAVAK agents.

-Shah Khosru of Parthia

Thanks, we accept. I'll hire both SAVAK agents and Skar.

-President J.L.

J.L., of course.

Pacitalia backs and fully supports President J.L., our friend and ally, in their reelection campaign.

Oh, and if you aren't re-elected, you're still invited to the PMB. ;)

Thanks. :)

J.L., of course.

Thanks!

Official Imperial statement

As always, the Empire gives her full support to President J.L.

transmitting...

encrypting...

Official Imperial Communique

To: President J.L.
From: Chancellor Dmitri Rubellai

Should you require that any opponents disappear, the GIIA would be more than willing to deploy some agents to take care of them.

Official Imperial statement

As always, the Empire gives her full support to President J.L.

transmitting...

encrypting...

Official Imperial Communique

To: President J.L.
From: Chancellor Dmitri Rubellai

Should you require that any opponents disappear, the GIIA would be more than willing to deploy some agents to take care of them.

Thanks. You, The Parthians, and Skar can divide the candidates among each other to kill. Each of you will be paid 5 billion per candidate.

Skar-I call the commie.

We'll take Sprinton, Trotsky, and Farter.

By the way, since we hire Skar so much anyway, we'd like to give him his own runway and mansion in RB (this applies to GE and The Parthians' agents also).

You guys can RP the deaths whenever you want. Remember, they have to look like accidents.

(OOC: Did I TG you guys about SEATO yet?)

Feel free to kill 'em whenever you want.

Bump

(Are you guys still gonna kill 'em?)

OOC:I'll top them off when I have time, busy destroying a vat of eggnog in a giant incinerator.

OOC:I'll top them off when I have time, busy destroying a vat of eggnog in a giant incinerator.

We will gladly purchase the delicious, ambrosial egg nog from you. Name your price.

Jl.

bump

Are you guys gonna kill the candidates, or not? :confused:

OOC:Bah, forget it, I don't have the time.

(OOC: Oh well.)

IC: Anyone else want to kill them?