DemonLordEnigma
23-10-2004, 21:02
I'm Mary Bragglestein of the Enigma Bragging Network, the official voice of the Dictator.
Today Clown Posse Leader Enigma has announced he is considering repealing the mandatory nudity law and all related laws. At this time both sides are before him, attempting to sway his decision. So far, the repealers appear to be winning, having passed the juggling and archery contests and currently leading in the foot race. As this winter promises to be a cold one, I seriously hope they win.
In other news, the Ministress of Defense has announced plans to build a spaceship factory on land. The project is estimated to cost over two billion dollars and will be completed in two years. It is also going to provide a way to replenish ships lost in battle.
And in the law enforcement department, there has been a solution to part of the crime problem. Sobates Myen, the leader of the Gorgonzolla Crime Syndicate and responsible for over two hundred deaths due to weapons fire in the last year, was discovered in a small neighborhood in South Megnatin. The citizens used several cars to create a blockade around Myen's house. They then dragged Myen out of her home, tied her to a wooden stake, and set her on fire. The police were forced to use explosives to clear the blockades, damaging neighboring homes in the process. The crowd was scattered by tanks firing gas shells into the crowd, wounding sixteen and sending several to the hospital for smoke inhalation. Myen was pronounced dead on the scene, having not survived the fire. The citizens involved will not be charged with murder, but are expected to pay for all property damage and what resources were used while subduing them. Clown Posse Leader Enigma has requested citizens to not take the law into their own hands and to contact police for dealing with criminals in response to this.
And in less disturbing news, the Ministry of Defense has today confirmed rumors that, indeed, we have an entire planet under our control. Distance to it is kept classified and the world is in the process of being confirmed as safe for habitation. It is officially named Terrator and should be open for colonization in two years.
And now, on to the weather.
Today Clown Posse Leader Enigma has announced he is considering repealing the mandatory nudity law and all related laws. At this time both sides are before him, attempting to sway his decision. So far, the repealers appear to be winning, having passed the juggling and archery contests and currently leading in the foot race. As this winter promises to be a cold one, I seriously hope they win.
In other news, the Ministress of Defense has announced plans to build a spaceship factory on land. The project is estimated to cost over two billion dollars and will be completed in two years. It is also going to provide a way to replenish ships lost in battle.
And in the law enforcement department, there has been a solution to part of the crime problem. Sobates Myen, the leader of the Gorgonzolla Crime Syndicate and responsible for over two hundred deaths due to weapons fire in the last year, was discovered in a small neighborhood in South Megnatin. The citizens used several cars to create a blockade around Myen's house. They then dragged Myen out of her home, tied her to a wooden stake, and set her on fire. The police were forced to use explosives to clear the blockades, damaging neighboring homes in the process. The crowd was scattered by tanks firing gas shells into the crowd, wounding sixteen and sending several to the hospital for smoke inhalation. Myen was pronounced dead on the scene, having not survived the fire. The citizens involved will not be charged with murder, but are expected to pay for all property damage and what resources were used while subduing them. Clown Posse Leader Enigma has requested citizens to not take the law into their own hands and to contact police for dealing with criminals in response to this.
And in less disturbing news, the Ministry of Defense has today confirmed rumors that, indeed, we have an entire planet under our control. Distance to it is kept classified and the world is in the process of being confirmed as safe for habitation. It is officially named Terrator and should be open for colonization in two years.
And now, on to the weather.