Roycelandia
05-10-2004, 12:29
Port Imperial, Roycelandian East Africa
The Imperial Defence Bureau has today announced that Tours of Duty in remote Colonial Locations will be shortened by one year, and greater entertainment and amenities will be provided to the soliders stationed in remote places.
The changes are being enacted after the Garrison at Al Muqrakir Oasis in The Sudan was found to have gone "totally round the bend" by their relief party.
According to Captain Edmund Blackadder of the Emperor's East African Rifles (Colonial Guard), every single soldier at Al Muqrakir was found wandering around with pencils up their nose, wearing their underpants on their head, and saying "Wibble" to everyone.
Captain Blackadder continued on to explain that the Garrison's behaviour was "Most Unusual".
"We were going to have them all shot, but then it occured to us that they simply might have gone mad from boredom. And sure enough, as soon as we put in the Cinema, the Bar, and the Brothel, most of them came back to their senses pretty quickly." Capt. Blackadder explained.
"Still, steps are being taken to ensure it doesn't happen again, and apparently the men are really enjoying the Olympic Sized swimming pool and nightly Karaoke competitions, so it's all worked out rather well."
Roycelandia's military has been criticised for "extravagant" waste of the Taxpayer's money in the past. However, people who have made such criticisms recently tend to mysteriously disappear, although this is usually dismissed as "coincidence" by the Imperial Defence Bureau.
Police Shoot Man With Knife, Page 2
War Found To Be Good For Many Things, Page 12
It's Not Unusual To Be Loved By Anyone, Page 46
The Imperial Defence Bureau has today announced that Tours of Duty in remote Colonial Locations will be shortened by one year, and greater entertainment and amenities will be provided to the soliders stationed in remote places.
The changes are being enacted after the Garrison at Al Muqrakir Oasis in The Sudan was found to have gone "totally round the bend" by their relief party.
According to Captain Edmund Blackadder of the Emperor's East African Rifles (Colonial Guard), every single soldier at Al Muqrakir was found wandering around with pencils up their nose, wearing their underpants on their head, and saying "Wibble" to everyone.
Captain Blackadder continued on to explain that the Garrison's behaviour was "Most Unusual".
"We were going to have them all shot, but then it occured to us that they simply might have gone mad from boredom. And sure enough, as soon as we put in the Cinema, the Bar, and the Brothel, most of them came back to their senses pretty quickly." Capt. Blackadder explained.
"Still, steps are being taken to ensure it doesn't happen again, and apparently the men are really enjoying the Olympic Sized swimming pool and nightly Karaoke competitions, so it's all worked out rather well."
Roycelandia's military has been criticised for "extravagant" waste of the Taxpayer's money in the past. However, people who have made such criticisms recently tend to mysteriously disappear, although this is usually dismissed as "coincidence" by the Imperial Defence Bureau.
Police Shoot Man With Knife, Page 2
War Found To Be Good For Many Things, Page 12
It's Not Unusual To Be Loved By Anyone, Page 46