NationStates Jolt Archive

The Exetonian Empire, in an attempt to develop better relations with our neighbours, and perhaps gain more allies, is throwing open it's doors! All are invited!

We are planning a massive all-day diplomatic ball/party, located in The Imperial Palace, Exeter. There will be military displays, music concerts, racing competitons, tours of the Nation, and much much more. Of course, throughout the entire day, all delegates will have access to unlimited FREE food and drink (alcoholic and non-alcoholic) to better add to their enjoyment. Even His Divine Majesty will be attending, and making a speech.

Sadly, due to the current climate, we must ask that all deligates undergo security checks on arriving in Exetonian airspace/territorial waters, and that they all agree to not carry weapons, or anything that may be used as a weapon into The Palace.

We hope many of you will attend, and discover first hand Exetonian hospitality!

The Empress would be happy to join this diplomatic ball.

As the Empress of Euroslavia arrives, she is greeted by Grand Fleet Admiral von Grafheim,

"Hello! And welcome to Exetonia, I hope you enjoy you visit. Now, if you'd like to follow me, I'll show you where the food is"

As the Empress of Euroslavia arrives, she is greeted by Grand Fleet Admiral von Grafheim,

"Hello! And welcome to Exetonia, I hope you enjoy you visit. Now, if you'd like to follow me, I'll show you where the food is"

"Thank you! I'm famished! I hope you have some spicy food, cause its my personal favorite."

Row upon row of tables were covered with an array of delicous foods, and local delicacies.

"Spicy food your bag eh? Well, get this beast down ya" Grafheim pointed at what looked like some sort of spicy chicken, "It'll do wonders for ya! The spicy sausages are also damn fine, pardon my language your majesty, but they are somethin' very special!"

"No need to screen your language. We're all friends here."

Takes a bite of the wing of the spicy chicken.

"Yeow! Now that's what I call food! What are these green things right here? I've never seen such a food before, but it looks so good."

Begins to drool.


OOC: As you can tell, the Empress isn't very....um.... reserved.

"Those green things? I think they're pickled pork and spinach sausages, they're real good ma'am" Grafheim picked one up, and threw into his aptly large mouth. "I think Exetonia has the best food in the region, and just try and tell me I'm wrong. What's the delicacy in your part of the world?"

As the two were talking, a group of acrobats and dancing girls began a demonstration of their skills. Grafheim leered.

King Jedo of Moronyicka would be honored to attend.

"Suprisingly, macaroni and cheese is a delicacy in our nation. There are so many ways you can cook it, and create something different. Many nations see this as comical, but after they take the over 100 types of mac and cheese, their mouths shut up. I'm really itching for some of that right now though...it's been a while since I've had a nice meal back at home."

After noticing the acrobats...

"Wow, they're very skilled. Is this the type of thing that's popular here? For us, tennis is probably the most revered thing to do."

A small man in a black pinstriped suit with a black and yellow striped tie and slicked back hair wandered over and regarded the acrobatics.

Cassius Longarm pondered the continuing feats of agility for a few seconds and smiled. "Nice! Can't say our humble nation can boast of supporting much in the way of recreational sports and spectacles of this nature, save in Archona... all the fun stuff happens in Archona. Best beaches, you see."

A series of loud metallic thuds erupted from behind him as a cowled figure some 10 feet tall quickstepped over, followed by the figure leaning over to Cassius and saying "BOATS"

"WILL you stop that?!" Cassius shooed the colossal... thing... away.

"Shipyard this, shipyard that, honestly... can't I get a moment's peace?"

"Mac and Cheese? Tennis? our nations are very different I think," Grafheim grinned, "Yes, acrobats are popular here, those girls are popular anywhere that has sense I think! I tried to play tennis, once, a long time ago, wasn't my forte really. Personally I like nothing more than a good race, put me behind the wheel, I'll whip some ass!"

King Jedo of Moronyicka walked into the grand hall, Grafheim turned around "excuse me ma'am" and waddled towards the new guest "Welcome to The Exetonian Empire, would you like some food, the pickled pork, or our national delicacy, the 'soggy sandwich' are especially good. Here, have a look at this," he picked up a 'soggy sandwich', dripping grease, "see, layers of bread and cheese, cooked briefly, so as to make a ball of fatty goodness, anyone want a piece?"

"BOATS!" suddenly echoed across the room, Grafheim, a Navy man himself was attracted by this, "your friend in the Navy?" he stuck out a pudgy hand, "Grand Fleet Admiral von Grafheim at your service"

Cassius regarded the hand put before him, then shook it happily. Then pointed towards the huge cowled golem with his left thumb.

"Him? Nah, that's 'The Twelfth One'. I suppose you could say he's our minister of war. A tad unsociable, for certain, but we have no greater patriot in our nation. He's been bugging me to start up construction of a naval shipyard. He thinks that since we're an island-ish nation, we should focus a good portion of our strength on naval capacities."

"BOATS!!!"

"Drink some beer! Yeesh..." Cassius stopped for a moment and his brows furrowed in sudden concentration. "Oh! I forget myself. Cassius Longarm, Grand Poobah and 13th Harrumphmeister of the Godulan Governate... means I'm the guy who runs the joint, which seems to be only because the Twelfth One doesn't like having to make decisions rather than wander around screaming one word demands every once in a while."

"BEER!!!"

"Whoa... he's been distracted."

"Sounds like an interesting fellow, and a man after my own heart" Grafheim grinned foolishly "You never can have to great a navy. I bet he would be a devil on the race track, y'all invited to give it a go later!" he called to all in the room, "interesting suit by the way" Grafheim stuck out his chest so as to better show of his medals, "would you care for some pickled pork? Soggy Sandwich?"

"Deviled Eggs, if you have any. Can't get enough of 'em." He looked at the enormous buffet spread for a moment, then turned to the hulking figure picking and choosing from the buffet. "Actually, you're right... he's oddly proficient at bending the odds to his favor. Not sure I'd call him a 'Man' though. This is actually the first time two harrumphmeisters have been in the same room together. I actually hadn't known he'd transferred himself into a digital sentience. I need to ask him about how he can still drink beer and eat stuff, we've been trying to figure that out for a couple years now in our own robotics research."

"OO PEPPERS!"

"Hup... he found the spicy foods section." Then, noting the not-so-subtle presentation of medals before him, "Oh, I'm just a civilian. Sure, we're an oppressive dictatorial regime bent on working people to the bone, but at least we're honest about it. Ya won't see me flaunting medals I haven't earned, nossir. Not to say you didn't earn yours, of course. Looks like several 'Valor in the Face of Unexpectedly Overwhelming Odds' medals if I'm not mistaken... they all look the same, but their impact is no less because of it."

"Well, since you mentiomn them, I won these two here in a daring campaign to put down the natives of a small island off our coast, they were a heavily armed lot, knives and swords, even the odd spear. No match for my gas and shrapnel shells though!" He let out a braying, barking laugh, "now these two here, now there's a funny story behind them. Ya see, three years ago now..." everyone's eyes began to glass over, even Grafheim, as if he was boring his own body. As the old man prattled on, a hand touched Grand Poobah Cassius Longarm on the shoulder, and a silky voice said "everything to your liking here I hope, the local fool not irritating you?" "FOOL!? I'll have you know Staufenburg, I was out whipping asses when you were in long-johns" "Your private habits, are your own, and should remain that way Grafheim. Go eat some pickled pork"

The Chancellor of Deutsch - Rheinland, Hans Kleineaschoff, would like to attend your event.

Hans Kleineaschoff, Chancellor of Deutsch Rheinland walked into the room. von Staufenburg approached him "Greetings in the name of All Exetonia! Can I interest you in some food, we have all kinds, all sorts, there's bound to be something to your liking," "damn straight!" said Grafheim, mouth full of pie, pieces spilling down his front.

"Anyway, now my... colleage has aquainted you all, and himself with the food, shall we get down to business. Exeter is prepared to offer you ladies and gentleman, a whole array of pacts, alliances, NAPs and such like. Did anyone have anything in mind, a basic NAP for example?"

"God, Staufenburg, give 'em a chance to a have a bit of tuck first won't ya!? hey, Chancellor Kleineaschoff, pickled pork?"

"Staufenburg, is it? Yes... The Dominion is currently maintaining a policy of not getting into any pesky 'alliances' that could potentially make more enemies than its worth. Not that I am placing any sort of commentary on your leadership capabilities, but we prefer to see 'how they turn out' before engaging in anything more serious than a trade agreement." Cassius' normal grin seemingly took on a more... demonic manner as he continued.

"With regards to the aforementioned trade agreements, we are prepared to offer... tempting agreements which we hope will allow your country extra money to throw around in exchange for... what was it again, Twelfth?"

"Raw Materials."

"Ah yes. Steel, plastics, and lumber are in quite high demand for our planned efforts..." he turned towards the huge cloaked Twelfth One, "YES, shipyards are on the 'to do' list, so you can shut up now."

"Understood."

Turning back, he continued "Also of interest to us are uranium and hydrogen surpluses and any research you might have on electromagnetics and... no, I don't suspect you would have commenced any research on pulse-lasers... they're not very complex, but we're hoping to find a more efficient version someday. They're not practical for military usage, but we hope to find some derivative applications. Surgery, microchips, stuff."

The Twelfth One perked up slightly, then caught himself.