NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: "The Holocast" the chat show is brought to you by FOX. Ok guys here it is, this will be a chat show made by the man himself Adolph Hitler. At current we the Network is recruiting for guests to appear on this chat show. It can be anyone from any background. Heck even Jesus would be welcome. This is just to be for a laugh so take it well. So does anyone wanna send in their guest first?

bump for the first guest. Come on you know you want to be interviewed by Hitler.

Oh Yeah,
Cowlquape Pentephraxis, PM of Sanctaphrax and half-Jewish.
EDIT: He brought a suprise friend with him.

I'll send Secretary of State Jack Grane.

Jesus would like to be the first guest.

wow. all at the same time.

Ariel Sharon is coming up :D

((I volunteer Stalin, and everyones favorite, Napoleon!))

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Kimiko Nagasaki the Fuhrer of Japanese States, oh and shes bringing her Autograph book to.

We ask everyone to ban this show,please.

If you're not mad at me for the Crucible thread, I'll send Adolf von Roska, leader of Fascist Party in TIOR.

Can God guest? He'd have some pretty sassy questions and answers, I'm sure...

If not, he can use Moses as an intermediary, or any other prophet you prefer.

Can I also send Satan, in addition to Jesus?

*Introduction Music Starts “Sprintime For Hitler” Heres the link to hear it http://www.ladyofthecake.com/mel/prod/sounds/springti.wav ”*
*Announcers voice booms over the studio*
“Ladies and Gentleman, please raise your hand together for the one the only ADOLPH HITLER”

*An eruption of cheers and Seig Hails erupted from the crowd. Hitler quickly descended from a large oval stair case, waving and blowing kisses to the adoring audience. Waving his hands to usher in a small degree of silence he took up his small microphone.”

“Thank you, Thank you one and all. Oh boy do we have a show lined up for you tonight. My first guest, yes I know you’ve all been waiting on him. Can I ask everyone to put their hands together and give a warm SEIG HAIL to the bane of the British Empire, that little European menace, Yes it’s NAPOLEON.”

*French National Anthem plays as Napoleon is introduced to the show.”

OOC: This will be an hour long show with guests eating up 15 minutes each, next guest will be Ariel Sharon then Satan and God together. then at the end it will be Adolf von Roska.

Hey, I was first!

OOC: Probably the best ideas...

Jackdonian troops went into the rookm,dragged Hitler off to an undisclosed location.

Jackdonian troops went into the rookm,dragged Hitler off to an undisclosed location.

Burnsian troops kill Jackdonian troops and return Hitler.

Mwahaha. All your base belong to me.

Burnsian troops kill Jackdonian troops and return Hitler.

Mwahaha. All your base belong to me.

LOL

Jackdonian Troops on behalf of the Anti-Nazi pact
(again) dragg Hitler onto stage and behead him.

Jackdonian Troops on behalf of the Anti-Nazi pact
(again) dragg Hitler onto stage and behead him.

Burnsian troops nux0rzz Jackdonia and kill all tr00prz, then sow Hitler's head back on and r3turnz him to the show.

~Tag
OOC: This is funny as hell minus the idiot Jackdonia

Jackdonian troops went into the rookm,dragged Hitler off to an undisclosed location.
Dark Jedi guards slice the troops up as the Imperial March plays, revealing Darth Vader.

"*kooooo kaaaaaa* I wish to attend this interesting interview *kooooo kaaaa*" He said.

Bring it on! Jackdonian Troops yell they burn down the SHoroom down and kill evrey Hitler loving Nazi presend!

"Darth Vader i challange you to a duel!"

OOC:I am not an idoit you are

Leave this thread now or i'll get the mods.

Four Hundred SS soldiers storm the stage all wearing tight leater outfits and beat the Jackdonian troops to death with "Love whips".

While Hitler once again takes centre point on the stage.

http://www.jorgeplace.com/producers9.jpg

OOC: I am leaving but you do realize Hitler was an evil man right?

Leave this thread now or i'll get the mods.

Four Hundred SS soldiers storm the stage all wearing tight leater outfits and beat the Jackdonian troops to death with "Love whips".

While Hitler once again takes centre point on the stage.


You're gunna wanna take that pic off.

OOC: They are all fully clothed. And there is nothing offensive there, ill keep the pic till a mod says otherwise.

OOC: Ok, just making sure. I don't really care, just looking out for you.

*Hitler looks up the stairs and waits for Napoleon.*

“This may take longer than expected, looks like I’ll have to bide some time.” Hitler thought to himself.

Turning to the audience he looks with a smile. “While were waiting on Napoleon ladies and gentleman, did I ever tell you about how I yes I conquered France and won World War Two. Yes that’s right I WON IT! Uuhem, yes as I was saying I won World War 2, don’t believe any of those history books. If you want the “REAL” history, read “Mein Kampf” the revised edition, only £12.99 at your local bookstore.”

*A man from the crowd shouts up at Hitler*
"Liar, the allies defeated Germany in ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
*Then quickly before the allied propeganda gets outhe is quickly removed by dancing girls goosestepping him out the door.*

At this point i'm letting anyone rp Napoleon. first person to post gets him.

((OOC: Anybody wanna be Napoleon?))

No but if Napoleon doesn't turn up then my guy was first on the list. Plus he has a surprise guest.

OOC:

Lol, I gotta see this...

“That’s it ladies and gentleman. Napoleon has cancelled; it seems he’s had enough of Germans for one lifetime. Ahh well. May I introduce my next guest, all the way from Sanctaphrax, yes none of you know him and yet you will all still clap it’s….. Who is it? Ahh yes its Cowlquape Pentephraxis.”

*Music plays as Pentephraxis hopefully enters.*

OOC:

I'll be Napoleon...or however you spell the guy's name. I'm gonna make it as funny as possible :P

OOC:

I'll be Napoleon...or however you spell the guy's name. I'm gonna make it as funny as possible :P
Too late hhhhsssssssssssssssssss!

IC: Hi Mr Hitler, first off let me start by saying that I hate you, you're an evil ********** ***** ***** and I hope you die of a heart attack. Right, now that that's out of the way, shall we get started. By the way this man sitting next to me is Winston Churchill, have you two met?

Have Napoleon turn up half way through the chat with Sanctaphrax's guy. have him push onto the stage or something.

OOC:

Gotcha ::grins evily::

::backstage Napoleon waits in his famous General's uniform as he looks at the stage, wanting to make an....impression....before he comes on::

Instantly a group of Nazi Storm Troopers Storm onto the stage with their FG’s in hand. “Don’t worry their toy guns. And that’s not a very nice thing to say about your host.”

*Hitler Pushes a small red button on his desk and Churchill and his friend fall into a pit of fire.* “Damn it why do my guests keep calling me evil?”

“May you all welcome Napolleon everybody.”

OOC: This is supposed to be light hearted. An evening chat show not a swearing contest. Lets try to avoid WW2 as much as possible as Genocide is not funny.

Instantly a group of Nazi Storm Troopers Storm onto the stage with their FG’s in hand. “Don’t worry their toy guns. And that’s not a very nice thing to say about your host.”

*Hitler Pushes a small red button on his desk and Churchill and his friend fall into a pit of fire.* “Damn it why do my guests keep calling me evil?”

“May you all welcome Napolleon everybody.”
Come on, at least give me a chance, i'm basing it on how I really feel.

Cowlquape and Winston went backstage and went up to Napoleon.
"Listen to me Bony Parts, don't go on that stage or you'll regret it."

Napoleon grins at the sight, sighing somewhat, then walks out on stange in full Military Fashion as he waves to the crowd, to Hitler, and then sits down in a designated seat.

"Well, Mr. Hitler, it seems you took over where I left off concerning Europe!"

"Napoleon everybody"

OOC: That's a no you sorta ruined it. And Hitlers evil so he can do whatever he likes.

OOC:

I posted, last page

*Hitler moving towards his desk sat down in a large pink seat. Swivelling his chair to face Napoleon he lifted up a few que cards. Shuffling them quickly he laughed and fixed his small shirt microphone onto his red and yellow jacket.*

“You.” Hitler waved his hand gaily. “ I ask the questions here silly.”

“Now Napoleon please tell us, what have you been doing since Waterloo? Obviously you have had an active film career, after all there have been so many films featuring you, such as Waterloo itself. But what else have you been up to?”

Napoleon Smirks, "Eh, the ususal. Running away from fans and running after random people to scare them half-to-death."

*Hitler looks away as if Napoleon is some kind of nut*

"Hey good for you, if its one thing that commoners need its definitely to have fear driven into them so you can master and conq…. Sorry about that I always start to trail off. Well what about a Misses Bonaparte is there a leading lady in your life?”

*Hitler looks longingly towards his wife Eva in the audience, however right behind her he’s really looking at the S.S troops all in tight leather. Winking at them he gives the signal for them to meet up later on.*

Napoleon observes what Hitler is doing and rolls his eyes, not to where anyone would notice. Sighing under his breath, he continues.

"Quite, and thats specifically what I ment about chasing people. Well, I DID until I met my wife a few years back. Seems these Russians arn't as bad as everyone say's they are."

He smiles to his wife in the audience, a nod to the beautiful russian, then looks back at Hitler.

“So you’re a happily married man, that’s great. I’m.” *A sigh erupts from Hitler* Married myself You know. When I got hitched I tried to kill myself, it didn’t work. I don’t know how you can stand it. Ahh well Women can’t live without them can’t live with them. So what’s next Ahh yes the merchandise. *Hitler opens a small box on the floor and pulls out a series of Waterloo commemorative plates all with Napoleons face on them*

“What on Earth made you throw these into production? I mean they are ghastly.” *A large series of alarms start ringing. Oh oh sorry Napoleon, but were sadly out of time, if you would move along to the second seat and I’ll introduce my second guest.”

“Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls please throw a warm Hitler Youth Salute to the one and only, all the way from the Island of Rose Adolf von Roska everybody. *Hitler gets off his chair and goes to meet his second guest.

OOC: Napoleon please feal free to interrupt and cause trouble with my next guest. More people there are the funnier it will be

A black car pulls in front of the studio and three get out and walked to their seats in the studio.

OOC:

Will do > : )

IC:

Napoleon actingly smiles, claps, and secretly puts three....painfully invisibly long....tacts on the seat he was sitting and sits in the seat requested for him to sit in... :: DEEP BREATH :: ...

OOC: You can turn it off, you know.

Napoleon secretly, as he sits beside the first seat, puts a VERY HARD TO SEE mine, which is filled with mustard

*Adolf von Roska arrives and ironically he looks like Erwin Rommel*

"Hello Hitler! Sieg Heil!" *does that left arm thing* "So, suicide couldn't get ya eh?"

Two men leave, the other walks on stage and pulls out a STG-44. "Finally, your mine." The man saids and then take off his hat and coat. It's me, King Leopold the III back for pay back. Then aims the weapon at the guest. Leave, me and Adolf need to talk.

Two men leave, the other walks on stage and pulls out a STG-44. "Finally, your mine." The man saids and then take off his hat and coat. It's me, King Leopold the III back for pay back. Then aims the weapon at the guest. Leave, me and Adolf need to talk.

*grabs weapon, spins it causing Leopold to fall, grabs it and aims it at him* "Later you PMSing bitch!" cocks it*

A Dark Jedi suddenly pokes his lightsaber behind the king. "You'll do well not to harm the Fuhrer."

Meanwhile, a small ship lands in the parking lot.

"I don't know why they invited me." I grumbled. I, Daniel Masaki, heir to the throne, to have an interview with Hitler? Damn. I exited the X-wing, and walked into the studio.

then the entire Belgian Royal Family jumps both Adolfs.

then the entire Belgian Royal Family jumps both Adolfs.

*guards armed with G36s rush the Belgian Family and start to hit them with the butts*

A massive telekinetic attack sends the Royal family flying, as Darth Vader stretches his hand backstage.

*Adolf von Roska descends the oval steps with “How Do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler” playing in the background. The audience erupts with clapping while Hitler walks up to the tall thin man and firmly shakes his hand. “Welcome, welcome to the show. Please, please sit down, sit down.”

“Yeah sadly suicide couldn’t get me, thanks to the old ball and chain. You know she has someone following me about almost all the time. I can’t even go to the toilet without an eye watching me. It’s horrible I tell you horrible. Do you know how many people I’ve had to liquidate over the past week. TWENTY FOUR. I don’t know where she finds them all.” *Hitler looks over at Eva who is now giving him an evil glare.*


“Well enough about that, for my own health and for the sake of the show. SO tell us a little about yourself. What do you do?”

Then they pulled out Lugers and start firing at the stage.

Jackdonian Troops blow themselves up and nuke the Holocaust Studio!

As I saw people go flying, I wondered what's happening. Then I froze...a Dark Lord of the Sith is near!

Darth Vader senses me, and says. "*koooo kaaaaa* Do not worry, young Daniel. I will not kill you...today."

"Well, that's reassuring." I muttered darkly. "So what's happening."

"*kooo kaaa* Some idiots tried to jump the host."

"Oh."

Napoleon just watches as he sits back, enjoying the show.

"Damn, forgot the...erm...popcorn."

*chuckles* "Heh. I thought you killed her off. I'm Adolf von Roska, leader of the Fascist Party of The Island of Rose, a country everybody loves. God knows why. We have about 12% of Parliament. Oh, and I'm sexy."

Napoleon presses a button on a small controller and Roska's seat explodes in Yellow Mustard.

“What the Heck, Damn Belgians! Are you off your mind, your in a room filled with storm troopers, a Dark Lord, several heads of states and an entire contingent of of S.S dancers. You must be mad.”

*Hitler gets out of his seat and from under his seat he pulls out an 17th century musket. “Finally now I get to kill you.” He loads it with gunpowder, which takes a little time then points and fires. The smoke filling the room took some time to clear. Thankfully the musket was on Target and the King was shot and killed.*

Napoleon presses a button on a small controller and Roska's seat explodes in Yellow Mustard.

*jumps* "Oy! I saw that! Guards!" *guards appear and drag Napoleon backstage where punching can be heard*

Leopold III gets up and saids "I'm going to get you one of these days, Fuhrer" and falls back down.

The Mustard flying everywhere just missed Hitler however it went flying all over the audience, especially on Darth Vader.

Napoleon walks back out clapping his hands together, as if he had done a Job-Well-Done.

"That was easy."

He sits back down in his seat, unhurt expect where a punch landed on his cheek.

"Hey!" I was annoyed by the mustard but Vader was furious!

"*kooo kaaa* How dare you throw mustard on my cape! I just had it ironed!" The Dark Lord roared at Napoleon as he stormed out of backstage with 2 guards. He ignited his lightsaber and slashed Napoleon with it.

“What the hell is happening here? YOU!” *Hitler points at Napoleon* “GUARDS” from the audience a small army of storm troopers emerged not wearing much at all. “Take him to my dressing room, there you all will remain, till I arrive.” *Hitler winks at the captain of the troopers*

Napoleon dodges the saber, just after planting two C-4 charges on the guards quickly, then runs on back to the stage, sits in his seat, and presses a button as a large explosion occurs.

"That was eas-"

A stormtrooper helment hits him.

"Ow."

THEN Napoleon gets dragged back again, punching is heard as a door slams shut, Napoleon coming back and sitiing back in his seat.

"Come now, don't make me angry."

A Me-109 crash thought the roof. Eric Hartmann looks around and sits the floor. "That's great, i just happrn to crash infront of Hitler." he saids.

"For Gods sake." *Hitler goes over to his desk and pushes the red button once again, sending Napoleon into the flame pit below* "Say hello to Churchill for me. Bwhahahahaha."

The Force disippates the explosion and the Dark Lord raises a hand, tightens it in a fist and begins to choke Napoleon.

I whistled backstage, having been charred by the explosion. "Never mess with a Dark Lord of the Sith!"

OOC:

LMFAO!

IC:

Napoleon bursts open the closed trap-door, and jumps up. Flames come from his eyes as he stares at Hutler...then suddenly gets gripped byb the throat by Darth Vader.

"Gah!"

As Vader's fist tightens, so does Napoleon's throat.

Napoleon then becomes angry....

Eric Hartmann sits in a seat and lits a ciger, and reads a book.

"You know Adolf I used to be the leader of the Nazi party, until Fox offered my an offer I couldn't refuse."

Napoleon then becomes angry....
OOC: Actually, you're supposed to try to fight for your breath. :D

Napoleon then hears "Use The Force, Luke." However, since his name, nor any nickname, concerns to "Luke" Napoleon ignores it and presses a button on his side as....erm....Napoleons wife, a sexy Russian babe, kicks Darth Vader HARD in the crotch...

"Heh. Ah well. I guess FOX pays more eh?" *looks at Vader* "Crazy Sith Lords..."

*Jedi appears holding a purple lightsaber, punches Vader with the handle* "I must kill you now!"

“hmmm this just will not do.” *Hitler pushes another button his desk and a large glass wall descends encompassing himself and Adolf. From the roof Gas starts to be released sending all the ruffians to sleep.* Meanwhile inside the Gas chamber Hitler begins to carry on the interview* “So Adolf have you ever considered writing an auto biography?”

OOC:

Lol, watch this...

IC:

A silence suddenly encompasses the chamber....then a roaring Napoleon bursts through and wraps both hands around hitlers neck

"YOU MAKE NAPOLEON ANGRY!"

Napoleon suddenly turns into a green hulk

*chuckles* "No no no. Not yet. I have to be elected first."

"Heh. Ah well. I guess FOX pays more eh?" *looks at Vader* "Crazy Sith Lords..."

*Jedi appears holding a purple lightsaber, punches Vader with the handle* "I must kill you now!"
Vader sends Dark Jedi after the Jedi, while he sits down, waiting for the interview to begin. I sit down too.

Jackdonian SPys throw grenades at Hitler and throw mustard gas at Hitle into hsi eys

Vader sends Dark Jedi after the Jedi, while he sits down, waiting for the interview to begin. I sit down too.

"Fool!" *throws sticker of a naked fat man at Dark Jedi's face, the picture faces his eyes, and hits* "No man can stay alive looking at that!"

Jackdonian SPys throw grenades at Hitler and throw mustard gas at Hitle into hsi eys

Burnsian troops n00k the Jackdonians... again.

Dark Jedi are still alive. "Hah! Naked fat men are no match for the Dark Side!" Lightning spews from their hands at the idiot.

Dark Jedi are still alive. "Hah! Naked fat men are no match for the Dark Side!" Lightning spews from their hands at the idiot.

*laughs* But Pokemon are! *pokemon start appearing everywhere*

Robot Stalin comes in breakdancing and spewing Coporate logos.

"Yo yo yo homey Gs? You Russian for so blingage food? Then don't be Stalin! Rush on down for sum Kremlin Fried Chicken, biatch!"

Eric Hartmann stands up and yells "IM THE GREASTEST ACE ALIVE", and starts shooting in the air.

As Stalin continues to breakdance, the Hans Rudel comes running out of the crowd, holding a toy Junkers in his hand!

"NEIN! I am the greatest ace ever!"

*laughs* But Pokemon are! *pokemon start appearing everywhere*
"Nooo!" The Dark Jedi are dragged off by Pikachu and co. I couldn't help but laugh at the whole thing.

“Well, just ignore them Lord Vader, first of all may I congratulate you on crushing the rebel alliance. And your most recent accomplishment the completion of a third Death Star. What I would’ve given for one of those in 1945.

"Nooo!" The Dark Jedi are dragged off by Pikachu and co. I couldn't help but laugh at the whole thing.

*walks to Vader* "I have defeated your apprentice! Now fight me! *smirks*

“Well, just ignore them Lord Vader, first of all may I congratulate you on crushing the rebel alliance. And your most recent accomplishment the completion of a third Death Star. What I would’ve given for one of those in 1945.
Vader rumbled a chuckle. "I thank you, Hitler. You know, though I didn't like the Rebels, I hated Palpatine even more."

*walks to Vader* "I have defeated your apprentice! Now fight me! *smirks*
Vader points and the Dark Side bitch-slaps the idiot.

Hitler walks of the stage for a few moments. After about a minute or so a large rumbling begins to shake everyone inside, then with a huge crash Hitler in a King Tiger Tank crashes onto the stage. NEIN, YOU WILL ALL SIT SHNEIL. SHNEILsp?.

Suddenly a huge Robot obliterates the fake Napoleon Hulk Thingie, with an IGNORE CANNON (BAHAHAHAHA!) and the Real Napoleon wakes up beside his wife before stumbling to his seat.

"Oh...what happened..."

Vader points and the Dark Side bitch-slaps the idiot.

*fishslaps Vader*

Hitler aiming the vast tank cannon at the new Napoleon quicjly obliterates him along with half the stage.

*fishslaps Vader*
Adolf von Roska is then thrown high into the sky with telekinesis.

I'm rolling on the floor, laughing at the antics, with tears streaming from my eyes.

Hartmann on comes on stage on his Me-109G, Points at Hans Rudel. "You and me in a dogfight to see who's the best".

Napoleon, the real one from the beginning, appears through the smoke still sitting in the same seat.

"I must have missed something..."

He looks at hitler, then Vader.

"Hey, Vader, no hard feelings?"

Bored with waiting, Dwight D. Eisenhower rolls on stage in a Jeep, protected from all the carnage and fish slapping with an Anti-Carnage Super Phabulous Shield.

"Yo, Hitler!"

*The Show suddenly goes off air for the viewers at home*

http://www.meldrum.co.uk/mhp/testcard/bbc_test/tcf_bbc1_051097.jpg

Napoleon, the real one from the beginning, appears through the smoke still sitting in the same seat.

"I must have missed something..."

He looks at hitler, then Vader.

"Hey, Vader, no hard feelings?"
"Fine." Vader rumbled.

"Yo ma main man." Hitler says while turing the gun turret. "FIRE SHNIEL"

Napoleon begins eating some popcorn.

"Wow, hitler, like the graphics!"

Hartmann starts the engine and begins to take off.

"Yo ma main man." Hitler says while turing the gun turret. "FIRE SHNIEL"

Eisenhower is protected from the shell with his shield, and uses his Colt .45 to shoot at Hitler.

*Master Jedi walks up to Vader* "Sorry about the Jedi, he's to uppity. Let's go" *both teleport out*

*Adolf von Roska it hit against the plastic dome* "Ow!"

*Master Jedi walks up to Vader* "Sorry about the Jedi, he's to uppity. Let's go" *both teleport out*

*Adolf von Roska it hit against the plastic dome* "Ow!"
"Never mess with a Dark Lord of the Sith." Vader said to von Roska. "Or else you'll get it."

Hitler suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat. He turns over to Eva. "You know, I've just had the crasiest dream."

Well DOne everyone we managed to Spam and get this thread moving enough to get over 500 views in under 2 hours. Congragualtions.

No problem! :)

Anytime!

Hoorah! :D

awww

Jackdonian citizens came onto the stage roaring with laughter at the scene about them and they were drinking beer to excess yelling and screaming around!