NationStates Jolt Archive

Hear Ye! Peasants of this insignificant realm!

I am Zod! General of the Mighty Armed Forces of The Celestial Ultrapower, and Commander of Ten Quadrillion Men-at-arms.

You are hereby directed to pay tribute to the Greatness of Emperor Ming I! Suitable offerings are to be piled up on the continent of Earth known as Australia. Should there be any part of the ground showing from orbit, you shall be punished!

So ends this message of Zod! General of Ming! The Merciless Emperor of The Terrifyingly Huge Celestial Ultrapower of Ten Quintillion People!

http://www.i-mockery.com/generalzod/sticker-large.gif
Zod! General of the Mighty Armed Forces of The Celestial Ultrapower, and Commander of Ten Quadrillion Men-at-arms.

Official statement from the Director of Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated:

w00t :D

So ends official statement from the Director of Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated. Have a nice day!

awesome

Of course I am awesome. I am also Merciless. So get tributing peons, or I shall start firing Mind Bullets at you.

http://www.irasov.com/Fiend/ming_merciless.gif
Ming. He whose Boots are cleaned daily by the kiss of a Million Maidens (NB Different Maidens used every day...)

His Divine Majesty Charles Paulus Falynheim von Exeter refuses to comply with your barbaric decrees, and tells you to "do ya worst ya pesky varmit"

Orange state is friends with flash Gordon.....

The High Lord of Xarlantine was sitting in his private lounge just off from his office, taking a relaxing morning start. A mug of coffee sat by his right arm steaming away happily, blue-grey smoke wafted upwards from a cigarette and the Emporers attention was firmly locked on the foriegn affairs pages of The Cartalan Times - the capitals main broadsheet morning paper. Sunlight streamed in through the double thickness toughened bullet resistant windows, it was a pleasant morning when all was said and done. X started to read something about some sort of disagreement between the Water Cooler and Caselonia that had led it appeared to a declaration of war.

"Hmmm, I see a chance to make some money on arms supplies there," he chuckled. As the tall imposing man turned to the next page a disturbance ouside his off caught his attention, the office door opened and then the distinctive click of boot heels on polished marble announced a visitor.. X folded and tossed the paper to the table revealing a Colt .45 semi that he always kept hidden behind the paper - never let anyone accuse him of being off-guard ever - as he looked towards the open door that led to the huge office beyond. After a few seconds a tall wide figure dressed in a green Army officers uniform sporting the markings of a 5-star general appeared at the doorway.

"Your Excellency!" the General greeted him briskly as he brandished a piece of paper. The Emporer took the cigarette from his mouth as his other hand caressed the butt of the pistol, his attention straying breifly to the paper in the Generals hand.

"Malthus, you know that door that leads to my office?" he asked, the General nodded. "Well it is common courtesy when wishing to enter a closed door to KNOCK!" his voice crescendoed quickly.

"Yes you Excellency, forgive my slight but I forgot, in my haste to bring this to your attention." he offered apologetically as he leaned forward to hand the paper to his leader. X snatched the paper from Malthus hand and read it quickly as he ground the cigarette out at the same time. Once finished he turned his gaze to Malthus, who simply nodded. X didn't say a word for a short time, instead he rose, holstered the pistol under his arm and grabbed a black jacket from the chair next to him, which matched the rest of his all black suit. Striding towards his office he spoke as Malthus backed out and side stepped out of the way.

"Inform the council and war council to be ready for an emergency session a short notice, this may or may not escalate, but I believe firmly in being ready for the worst."

"Yes your Excellency!" Malthus intoned

"Also put the military on alert, should anything go wrong I want my forces ready to mobilize and deploy within an hour. DISMISSED GENERAL!" X snapped his orders.

"Aye sir!" Malthus saluted and turned on his heels leaving the High Lord to his thoughts.

'So, another madman tries to threaten the entire world, most interesting' X mused.

Ming regarded the communication from this so-called Divine Emperor with skeptisim, and rose from his kilometer high throne. The journey down the steps leading up to the throne would have taken him a day. Fortunately, he didn't have to worry about that - he kept the Malevolent Ming Mind Gun behind the throne. A few quick adjustments and he was ready. He fired, instantaneous rays of blue death streaking towards the victim's brain across the light years.

http://www.zen13351.zen.co.uk/images/ming_merciless_logo.jpg

Ah what a pity. Anyone wana kick his ass and show him the power of nations with more powerful WMDs than him?

OOC: You are welcome to try...

OCC:Trust me I've butchered 16million people in under 5 RL minutes and that was only with 6 ships. And I have a weapon that's blast can equil up to 15 nuclear explosions.

OOC: As I said, you are welcome to try.

OCC: I know I'd just rather work on my school work than go around taking over smaller nations. Fun and all but it looks bad.

OOC: Hah. Please. See the nation's description. Note the title...

Where can i get one of those death rays! also, do you have any tin-can robots i can have?

Aboard:
http://www.necrontyr.plus.com/images/knaw2.jpg
Ming's Flagship. And no...

OOC: Hah. Please. See the nation's description. Note the title...
That means nothing and you know it. Anyway, I raise your flagship and send my own, the Sovereign to kick Ming ass.

Ima get my big brother on you...

Shiwean Queen Aelia's Responce to Ming:

Do you mind if we attempt overload your engine? And if you say yes can we attempt take your ships and send them to Hataria?

http://www.hollywoodcultmovies.com/assets/images/SamJonesFlashGordon1.jpg

Flash Gordon approaching.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1530000/images/_1530702_robots-robbie150.jpg

and he's bought friends.

That means nothing and you know it. Anyway, I raise your flagship and send my own, the Sovereign to kick Ming ass.

Ming the Merciless, who is the leader, despite most of his underlings being stolen shamelessly from other works of fiction, merely laughs at this threat.

From Queen Aelia:
Does that mean yes?

A nameless - truly, they come off an assembly line - beurecrat replies to the Queen, "Why not."

Shiwea begins firing wooden crates filled with something that looks like yellow dust at Ming's flashship.

Others are heading to the Nation of Ten Quintillion people, to steal all their ships and give them to Hataria.

*wonders why ming is wasting his time with such a pathetic and puny planet, when he could just blow it up*

OOC: Well... If he gets his tribute he won't...

Here's your tribute!

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Empire/Tech/Beam/DeathStar3.jpg

hey! who said you could borrow the death star! i thought it was my turn this week!

:D

I had to give some tribute to Ming!

PallaPalla soon goes to Ming's Ships and does this.......


http://www.sailorenergy.net/ArtworkJAFanarts/SMJAHumorEightBall.jpg


To: CoreWorlds

Can I have The Death Star?

Shiwea thought Hataria would blow mings ships up ^_^

To: Hatara

Only if you like getting choked by Lord Masaki.

I can "send" a tribute of one Torpedo Frigate. Anything more might be too powerful...

Silence yourself lest I blast you into oblivion with a exterminatus . :mad:

Orange state send ming a tribute in the form of a pair of M&S socks, they fit fine, and are nice quality, but these are a boring grey colour.

Ignore shields maxxed out.

n00bdeath the spoon flies to ZOD's house. He enters and with a poor effort is attacked by ZOD. n00bdeath the spoon begins spooning ZOD to death, screaming, "You are a n00b! Die!"


n00bdeath the spoon has struck again.

Hear Ye! Peasants of this insignificant realm!

I am Zod! General of the Mighty Armed Forces of The Celestial Ultrapower, and Commander of Ten Quadrillion Men-at-arms.

You are hereby directed to pay tribute to the Greatness of Emperor Ming I! Suitable offerings are to be piled up on the continent of Earth known as Australia. Should there be any part of the ground showing from orbit, you shall be punished!

So ends this message of Zod! General of Ming! The Merciless Emperor of The Terrifyingly Huge Celestial Ultrapower of Ten Quintillion People!

http://www.i-mockery.com/generalzod/sticker-large.gif
Zod! General of the Mighty Armed Forces of The Celestial Ultrapower, and Commander of Ten Quadrillion Men-at-arms.

Secretary of Diplomacy Moua read the message and prepared to write a reply, when suddenly the sheer absurdity of it struck him and he began to laugh convulsively, laughing so hard that his face turned crimson and saliva gushed everywhere. He kicked and squirmed, laughing in a shrill, screeching voice, laughing until he began to choke and he suffered a heart attack. He was immediately brought to RB City General Hospital.

Hear Ye! Peasants of this insignificant realm!

I am Zod! General of the Mighty Armed Forces of The Celestial Ultrapower, and Commander of Ten Quadrillion Men-at-arms.

You are hereby directed to pay tribute to the Greatness of Emperor Ming I! Suitable offerings are to be piled up on the continent of Earth known as Australia. Should there be any part of the ground showing from orbit, you shall be punished!

So ends this message of Zod! General of Ming! The Merciless Emperor of The Terrifyingly Huge Celestial Ultrapower of Ten Quintillion People!

http://www.i-mockery.com/generalzod/sticker-large.gif
Zod! General of the Mighty Armed Forces of The Celestial Ultrapower, and Commander of Ten Quadrillion Men-at-arms.

Where did you get that picture? Some crappy 1970s kung fu movie?

*Siesatian Diplomatic officer walks into Mings chambers and defacates on his stairs, Siesatian Diplomatic officer walks out.*

Damn it, I'm declaring war. You almost killed my Secretary of Diplomacy! :mad:

OOC:A humour site. I wonder what that could mean about this thread eh? I mean hes definately serious after all. Not the slightest bit of humour involved obviously.

Where did you get that picture? Some crappy 1970s kung fu movie?
http://www.i-mockery.com/generalzod/sticker-large.gif


Ahh, youngsters. They don't remember the craptastic wonder of Superman II (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081573/).

http://www.i-mockery.com/generalzod/sticker-large.gif


Ahh, youngsters. They don't remember the craptastic wonder of Superman II (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081573/).
Oh that's right. I remember seeing Superman II on TBS about 2 years ago. God it sucked monkey balls.

Oh that's right. I remember seeing Superman II on TBS about 2 years ago. God it sucked monkey balls.

Poor monkey. :(

Poor monkey. :(
I know. The monkey had to have 5 years of mental therapy for that.

Wow! this thread has gone from spoof n00bness to films to filth in one page... good work guys! :)

ROFL!

this thread has bought me smiles. either that or the dope i had...

OOC:
The Terrifyingly Huge Celestial Ultrapower of Ten Quintillion People is a tiny, devout nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 6 million are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company.
Let's see... custom titles are available at 500 million. Mod-puppet?

I'd offer tribute, but Kendari isn't on Earth, and has very little contact with it.

Good point. perhaps ten quadrillion people is a mod puppet. it'd certainly explain their good humor. perhaps its a test-to see our reaction to a newbie so they can winge at us for it.

No, if they wanted to test us they would do something thats less obviously a joke. This was never a serious player. Just the mods having a laugh. Not too bad either.

*attacks people that didnt notice this straight away with a wet kipper*#

If they were to call it a test. it would be a fairly poor show as it obviously wasnt a newb, and I give the mods more credit than that.

Well, congrats to the mods for doing it again-making us look like idiots.

I got the feeling a few of us may have passed the test, abeit barely and with poor quality responses.

[...]
You are hereby directed to pay tribute to the Greatness of Emperor Ming I!
[...]
"Huh. The last time I gave an Emperor Ming tribute, the slime ended up exiling me."
"Yes yes, Commander, but-"
"He didn't even give back my tribute!"
"However-"
"I'm going to have to do something about that, eventually."
"Still, this seems to be-"
"A different one. Yes, I noticed. We'd best come up with some tribute. He wants surface area; send out an order that all citizens over the age of 5 are to produce a piece of artwork or poetry in his honor. In addition, we'll sent a chest of gold, one of salt, and a selection of ceremonial weapons. See to it."
"At once, Chief."

OOC: To see the first time Kir gave tribute to an Emperor Ming, click here (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=6298532#post6298532). My post is near the bottom of the page.

Hear Ye! Peasants of this insignificant realm!

I am Zod! General of the Mighty Armed Forces of The Celestial Ultrapower, and Commander of Ten Quadrillion Men-at-arms.

You are hereby directed to pay tribute to the Greatness of Emperor Ming I! Suitable offerings are to be piled up on the continent of Earth known as Australia. Should there be any part of the ground showing from orbit, you shall be punished!

So ends this message of Zod! General of Ming! The Merciless Emperor of The Terrifyingly Huge Celestial Ultrapower of Ten Quintillion People!

http://www.i-mockery.com/generalzod/sticker-large.gif
Zod! General of the Mighty Armed Forces of The Celestial Ultrapower, and Commander of Ten Quadrillion Men-at-arms.

The Technocracy of Sharina shall cover Australia with cloth sheets to leave no bare ground exposed. Total costs of this endeavour: $10,000,000. ;)

We should amke a giant star dragon and give him manor.. sorry, manure from heaven. He could have a giant steaming turd as a gift.

OOC: By the way, my post was not effected by seeing Kendari's.

I got the feeling a few of us may have passed the test, abeit barely and with poor quality responses.
If it was a test the likes of which you refer to I evidently DID NOT pass it, since it would be obvious from my pos I had hoped this was going to be something of a serious nature.

Oh well, not to worry.


x

OOC:lol

Dont worry you're still a new player. You'll learn what they were sending up soon enough. Just wait. As a space/future tech palyer I constantly have to walk a line between godmoding and being too weak that RL player dont need to worry about so much. We often slip a little but there are some here who, like me after 2 bottles of wine, stand about three feet to the wrong side of the line.

If it was a test the likes of which you refer to I evidently DID NOT pass it, since it would be obvious from my pos I had hoped this was going to be something of a serious nature.

Oh well, not to worry.


x


In my opinion, you passed. I serious, reasonable response probably gets at least a B.
I could be wrong, of course, but that's what I think.

The tribute has been gathered from throughout Kharrol! A fleet of ships now carries it to Australia.

The tribute has been gathered from throughout Kharrol! A fleet of ships now carries it to Australia.

The Technocracy of Sharina feels the need to remind Kharrol that Sharina has covered Australia in a giant quilt, comprised of countless bed-sheets. You may lay your gifts on top of these sheets.

Live Well,
President Rand Veristek

Where's an IGNORE Ninja when you need it? I think the Ten Quintillion People actally deserve a WHU-WHAAA? Gun to the Face instead.

the mod puppet of quintillion people, with all thos enormous pictures.

I agree that a friendly response shows a willing newbie. Like I said, the joke that is embedded in there isnt something you could be expected to pick up, and trying to be reasonable is loads better than "J0or n00ks 4|23 pWnd bai my U|3er L453r5 & M394 5he1ldz" (to quote Sarzonia, or misquote accurately, but use in the correct context) "UBer Me74l P3n15 RARR!!!!1111one"

Orange state is friends with flash Gordon.....


I havent heard that name in like 10 years. WOW!! Flash was a pimp.

The Technocracy of Sharina feels the need to remind Kharrol that Sharina has covered Australia in a giant quilt, comprised of countless bed-sheets. You may lay your gifts on top of these sheets.

Live Well,
President Rand Veristek
Thank you, we shall do that.
-Kir

*read topic title as "Hear And Obey t3h Puny Ones"*
:p

hmmm......another NOOB that confuses visions of greatness with illusions of grandeur.

Kiss our collective asses, ya moron. Xeraph alone could make you a memory in 20 seconds.

Alaric of Xeraph

We send a squashed a hedgehog, if that's any help

hmmm......another NOOB that confuses visions of greatness with illusions of grandeur.


OOC:
The Terrifyingly Huge Celestial Ultrapower of Ten Quintillion People is a tiny, devout nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 6 million are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company.
Let's see... custom titles are available at 500 million. Mod-puppet?

Do you dispute my reasoning?

Okay.

The money is right next to a timebomb. Would you like to pick it up?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

You gotta love the godmoding. It helps to see it as comic relief. Helps you not try to reach through the computer screen and strangle the moron. Which would only ruin a good computer screen.

So, yeah, in the interests of comic relief:

Our 1337 theives creep up on Australia and steal all your tribute. HAHA.

We also immediately sell it back to it's original owners in return for many, many nukes. We then nuke you. HAHA.

Well, hey, stupidity loves company, yes? So i'm just making sure the poor noob isn't lonely.

:P:D

I'll take it if he won't.
SEND THE TELEKINETIC TEAM.

*10 minutes later*

A bunch of people make the bomb shoot off into the distance and bring the money with them.

You guys... let me try again...

ITS......A......JOKE....

yes, joke, you understand? speekee english? The mods are winding up people like you. Only some of us saw through it. And some of the more reasourceful player(s) found it was a mod puppet.

They told evveryone and a few people, admittantly not as sharp as the rest, but not exaclty dense realised the logic was pretty clever and saw it was a joke....

then some of you are still not aware of this... are you all going to n00k him?

OOC:
Some of us, by the way, are trying to play along. If you really must make a "5tup1d n00b, my Mega Army of d00m™ could KRUSH you!!1!" post, please do it in character!! After all, this is the II forum.
Also, if you don't want to play along, please don't IGNORE™... just ignore the thread, and don't post on it.
OK?