Omicron Alpha
30-09-2004, 15:36
"In a bold move several days ago, the major company 'Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated' responded to news of executions of capitalists in Ratheia by contracting Alpha Police Inc to begin enforcing archaic anti-communist laws once again. Rumour suggested that they were seriously considering executing an equal number of people with communist beliefs in return.
This move saw the entire Communist Faction of OAGI arrested, along with everybody who had bought shares in their faction. This meant over 200 people were being held in non-profitable incarceration centres while a decision was being made.
Earlier today, however, the Director of OAGI issued the following statement to corporate journalists:
"Two days ago, we ordered the arrest of people of the communist faith and had seriously considered their termination from the Grand Economy in response the acts of the economical heretics in Ratheia.
"However, during the very talks that were deciding whether or not they lived or died, we came to the conclusion that we should not stoop to the levels of the communist heretics. Killing potential consumers is a barbaric act to say the least, and it is for this reason that Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated Faction Directors unanimously voted to release the heretics. Their names and financial details have been kept secret from the general consumer base for their own protection. Unfortunately, some media corporations have already discovered their identities and have begun broadcasting and printing malicious details that could jeopardise their safety in the general consumer base.
"They have been given an offer from our generous corporation, however; they will be sponsored to leave the financial borders of Omicron Alpha if we can find a willing host nation for them to go to. So we put the request on this satellite television channel for the whole world to hear; if any nations are willing to accept 234 unproductive communists into their economies, will you please contact the Customer Relations department of Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated, where your message shall be acknowledged and forwarded to me, personally. Your assistance in this matter would be appreciated. Thank you, everyone, my Public Relations officer shall be taking your questions. Keep up the good profits!"
That was Director Berg of OAGI talking at a press conference earlier today. Since he made that address to the consumer base, we have heard reports of three of the mentioned communists already being injured in violent attacks on their assets.
In other news, OMilitary Ltd, the premier provider of military personnel and equipment in Omicron Alpha, and owners of a defensive contract with OAGI, have initiated a hostile takeover of their one remaining competitor in this market, Mercs 4 U. If successful, this merger is expected to increase their annual profits by 24% and make OMilitary the first successful monopoly since Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated first bought out the public government. More news on this as it develops.
And now for the economical climate report..."
This move saw the entire Communist Faction of OAGI arrested, along with everybody who had bought shares in their faction. This meant over 200 people were being held in non-profitable incarceration centres while a decision was being made.
Earlier today, however, the Director of OAGI issued the following statement to corporate journalists:
"Two days ago, we ordered the arrest of people of the communist faith and had seriously considered their termination from the Grand Economy in response the acts of the economical heretics in Ratheia.
"However, during the very talks that were deciding whether or not they lived or died, we came to the conclusion that we should not stoop to the levels of the communist heretics. Killing potential consumers is a barbaric act to say the least, and it is for this reason that Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated Faction Directors unanimously voted to release the heretics. Their names and financial details have been kept secret from the general consumer base for their own protection. Unfortunately, some media corporations have already discovered their identities and have begun broadcasting and printing malicious details that could jeopardise their safety in the general consumer base.
"They have been given an offer from our generous corporation, however; they will be sponsored to leave the financial borders of Omicron Alpha if we can find a willing host nation for them to go to. So we put the request on this satellite television channel for the whole world to hear; if any nations are willing to accept 234 unproductive communists into their economies, will you please contact the Customer Relations department of Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated, where your message shall be acknowledged and forwarded to me, personally. Your assistance in this matter would be appreciated. Thank you, everyone, my Public Relations officer shall be taking your questions. Keep up the good profits!"
That was Director Berg of OAGI talking at a press conference earlier today. Since he made that address to the consumer base, we have heard reports of three of the mentioned communists already being injured in violent attacks on their assets.
In other news, OMilitary Ltd, the premier provider of military personnel and equipment in Omicron Alpha, and owners of a defensive contract with OAGI, have initiated a hostile takeover of their one remaining competitor in this market, Mercs 4 U. If successful, this merger is expected to increase their annual profits by 24% and make OMilitary the first successful monopoly since Omicron Alpha Government Incorporated first bought out the public government. More news on this as it develops.
And now for the economical climate report..."