NationStates Jolt Archive

Rebepacitopian News Network (RNN)----------------------------------------

Throughout the crowded streets of Crimsoncow, a faint hum could be discerned. Regardless of this irregularity, thousands of commuters continued to pass through the intersection at 12th and Mao. It was approximately 47 seconds after the initiation of the hum that the tranquility of normality was morbidly defied. An illustrious ekpyrosis tore through two city blocks. The cause: A mini van equipped with thousands of dollars worth of explosives. It was shortly afterwards that Rebepacitopian police/firefighters arrived to find the only remnants of the explosion: a mutilated automobile frame and granulated cadavers. It was just moments ago that the Rebepacitopian government (via press conference) announced the aftermath of this travesty:
(Quote taken from Press Secretary T.R. Nightarrow)

"Our country has been accosted by the most cruel of fiends. Earlier today a minivan, equipped with explosives, evicerated two-city blocks. The death toll has been set at 2700. We have been told that nerve agents were also introduced with the initial explosion. Lugubriously, the first rescue workers have suffered, and died from, neurologically-damaging seizures. We have identified the group responsible for this draconian act: the Swords of Vengeance Capitalist Organization."

It was shortly after the previously noted press conference that the Swords of Vengeance released a statement:

"We are happy to see that our van was effective. Too bad we only killed a couple thousand of you socialist scum! Our attack was intended to interrupt your beloved socialist state, as well as interrupt the harmony that exists in your peaceful country. We will continue these attacks until you admit our greedy imperialistic corporations and banks into your immaculate society. We are greedy bastards, you should be too!.."

More on this story as it develops....

Although we do not agree with socialism or communism, we strongly condemn this terrorist attack. We will send 5,000 medics and 20 tons of food, medicine, etc. to help the relief effort.

Our nation thanks you for your philanthropic contribution.

Official Statement from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs

"While we have no love for the evil system of state-enforced collectivism, Tyrandis condemns this attack in the strongest terms possible.

If it is requested, Tyrandis can deploy the 8th Special Tactics Group for COIN (COunter INsurgent) operations against these vile cretins who profane the name of Capitalism."

Our nation thanks you for your philanthropic contribution.

You're welcome. In addition, 10,000 engineers will be sent to assist with the reconstruction.

RNN Update---------------------------------------------------------------

In light of recent attacks, the Swords of Vengeance Capitalist Organization has maintained intense, consistent acts of terror. Shortly after a post office was blown up, Gen. M.I. Hawkthorne said this: "These psychos need to be taught a lesson, we are planning a full-scale mobilization." Following his statement, the military mobilized (as was stated). This mobilization will target Capitalist strongholds in the South west. It is also believed that additional capitalists are entering the country in this region.

The 3rd, 4th, 6th, and 14th armies have been fully mobilized. They anticipate a costly campaign and have orchestrated an assault with the marines, air force, and navy.

More on this story as it develops....

TO: Rebepacitopia
FROM: Department of International Affairs

We understandthe struggle in the current situation developing in your nation. If it would help, our nation would like to put bounty of 500,000 Louisianaian's (our currency which is worth about 1.34 american dollars) for each capitalist terrorist killed and brought in for bounty.

Communist Louisiana:
We appreciate your efforts pertaining to the annihilation of capitalist dissidents.
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The Gremlin,
Crimsoncow,
U.S.S.R. (United Socialist States of Rebepacitopia)

The Gremlin appeared to be in a state of mediocre serenity as the President held a cryptic conference within. At this conference personnel of immense significance would discuss the current situation within Rebepacitopia.
As the clock strikes 12:00 P.M., an underground board room transforms into a mania of garrulousness as the meeting convenes.
"Silence!" the President X.N. Nightred had been quite fatigued as of late."Pardon my rudeness...*hrrm* The matter of discussion will be the intolerable hostilities of the Swords of Vengeance."
It is at this point that an obviously exhausted General enters the meeting. "Pardon my tardiness comrade," Gen. R.D. Killjoy exclaimed over a slight cold."The situation is worse than we thought," the general began"the Swords of Vengeance have released a nuclear agent in the southern town of Kawaffle."
A sudden explosion of unintelligible dialogue breaks out throughout the board room.
"What should we do?!?" inquired W.S. Poirweg (Female Secretary of Defense).
The president refrained from responding for what seemed a deliberately long time...."We are obviously facing more than a miniature terrorist organization. They would require a plethora of funding and support to use such devastating methods. We must find the ulterior organizations and nations responsible."
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(Meanwhile)...Bolshevik Gulf, Sea of Rebepacitopia

A man enters Adm. T.W. Turfen's quarters aboard the S.S. RedFury. "Sir, I bring news from the front."
The admiral, startled, takes a report.
"What in the name of income redistribution?!?!?! How is it that a small terrorist cell could have 60,000 men?!?! We are facing much more than a terrorist organization, this is an invasion!"

"Would you excuse me comrade?" At this point the messenger leaves the Admirals presence. The admiral, in a state of confused apprehension, picks up the phone. "Gremlin please."
"Yes, I need to speak with President X.N. Nightred...immediately!...What do you mean he is in a meeting?!?! Fine, tell him that we are in a state of crisis."
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A message to all nations:

Our nation has been the victim of an enormous military assault, no nation has yet taken responsibility. We demand a name! If you have any information, we would greatly appreciate it.

*Message terminated*

The Roach-Busters Intelligence Agency will immediately launch an investigation to identify the culprits responsible for the reprehensible massacre so they may be brought to justice.

Red Wales condemns this terrorist attack, we are willing to send aid workers to Rebepacitopia to try and help with the aftermath of the attack, we would also like to donate half a million USD to be used to help the victims and their families.

I think Angelic Freedom was probably behind it. And even if he wasn't he'd make a great scapegoat. :D

To: Rebepacitopian Intelligence Agency (RIA)
From: Redrevolutiavanian High Command

Comrade, we wish to express our deepest sympathies. We have some information that might be to your advantage.
Five hours ago, we spotted a large ship travelling towards Bolshevik Gulf. It remained unidentified, we were not allowed to board due to international water violations. Regardless, we believe it belongs to the agency supporting these dissident radicals that are plaguing your nation.

DAFS Victory - Lakota Class Aircraft Carrier
International Waters off the coast of USSR.

"Captain Wift"
Turning to a rather slim technician
Wift: Yes Corporal?
Tech: Unidentified vessel bering Zero, One, Niner. In USSR waters Sir.
Wift: Military?
Tech: Can't tell Sir, we've had a problem with the electronics all day.
Wift: Keep an eye on it, if it attempts to attack sink it. If anything unusual occurs, tell me, or the Watch Officer.
Tech: Yes Captain.

This attack is an attack on all Anti-Capitolist Nations. As such, i am sending you 400 of my Elite Peacekeeping troops, as well as medical supplies and food for the injured. we will also be sending you 10 million to help pay for damages.