NationStates Jolt Archive


New Imperial Chancellor Appointed

Generic empire
22-09-2004, 23:21
GII News

Earlier today, the Imperial Congress issued a statement to the press announcing the appointment by Emperor Antonius himself of former General Avidius Cassius to the position of Imperial Chancellor. As it is well known by any educated in the Generian Constitutional government, the Imperial Chancellor holds power second only to the Emperor and the Imperial royal family, acting as the Emperor’s most trusted advisor.

General Cassius is a distinguished veteran of both the Shoobooshaban conflict (where he served as a colonel) and the Mozambique war against the Lightning Star. He has been awarded four Imperial medals for distinguished service to the Empire and heroism in the face of danger, three Imperial purple hearts, and the Imperial war cross, awarded him by Emperor Alexei himself after the sack of the city of Beira.

His name appeared in the news briefly after the conflict, as Mozambique natives and TLS colonists came forward with accusations of war crimes. The charges were quickly dismissed by Imperial courts at the behest of Emperor Alexei. In a brief, unpublicized trial, the accusers were convicted of treason, and done away with.

General Cassius now swears his allegiance to Emperor Antonius I, and the Imperial congress. He is a fierce capitalist supporter, anti-Communist, and anti-socialist. He believes in the absolute power of the Emperor, and is quoted at stating his distaste for Imperial parliamentary proceedings.

Overall, the Imperial people are delighted at Emperor Antonius’s decision. The crowds at the official induction ceremony are expected to number in the thousands. Stay with us for live coverage of the ceremony, and a special ‘Crossfire’ segment.

Antonius Square, Generia City

A stage had been assembled before the grand obelisk in the center of Generia City. Every inch of the enormous square had been packed with Generian citizens, eager to glimpse the war hero that would soon be announcing his acceptance of the Imperial Chancellory. A figure of smallish size began to climb the steps towards the waiting podium. He stood before the crowds, and adjusted the microphone. He then began to speak.

“Citizens of our august Empire!”

The crowds roared.

“As you know, I have been granted the postion of Imperial Chancellor by the great and wise Emperor Antonius. I accept the Chancellory!”

Again, the crowds cheered.

‘I will strive to use the position wisely, to strengthen our traditions, to build the economy, to do everything in my power to assist our great Emperor. He is truly a wise man, our Emperor. I have known him for many years, and have always admired him for his sharp wit and strong leadership. It is truly an honor to have been granted this privilege.

As I have said, I will help to build our already incredible economy. Every day, more money flows into our coffers, and into our pockets. Business is truly a great friend to the people these days. I can only hope to make it more so. In three years, if we work together, I believe that every citizen of this empire can, and should be rich!”

The assembled let up yet another great cheer.

“But, there is one thing that stands in the way of this: Communism.”

He spat out the word as if it made him want to vomit. The crowd moaned and booed.

“The vile Marxists would have our economy die for the good of the ‘proletariat.’ You are the proletariat, my brothers. We are the proletariat. However, we know better than to allow these swine to pollute our minds with their empty talk. They would surely have us suffer under their socialist chains.

I will not stand by and allow this to happen!”

The boos turned to raving applause.

“I will personally see to it that Communism and socialism is forever expelled from Generia! I will show them the error of their ways! Fear not, though, for I am a reasonable man. The Marxists are merely misguided. I will not harm them, but I will show them the light of the capitalist way. Together, we shall help these poor, misguided souls. Let us work for a common goal!

Generians, we can and will succeed! We shall, as always remain strong! Our armies shall never falter, our banks shall never close, and our souls shall never stray! For Generia!”

As always, the crowd joined the Chancellor in finishing the slogan.

“For God!”

The new Chancellor stepped to the side of the podium, bowed to roaring cheers, and stepped off of the stage into a waiting limousine, escorted by a convoy of Imperial Praetorians.

GII News

“Well, you heard it here first! The chancellor has vowed to root out Communism for good. Let’s hope he succeeds. Stay tuned for a special segment of ‘Crossfire’ with Nash ‘Whiskey’ Stoyanovich.
Generic empire
22-09-2004, 23:36
Bump. Crossfire segment coming soon.
Generic empire
23-09-2004, 00:45
GII News: Crossfire!

“Hello, and welcome to this special segment of GII News: Crossfire. I’m Nash Whiskey Stoyanovich, your host for the evening. Here with us tonight we have esteemed political commentator, owner of two of the largest companies in Generic Empire, and avid anti-communist: Professor Martin Kalashnikov.

On the other side, we have Marxist author, disgusting pinko-commie, and known advocate of puppy murder, the sick, twisted, vile Ms. Maria Saranova.”

“Nash! I do not advocate that!”

“Silence, O’ killer of innocent puppies! Wait your turn! Ahem. Excuse me. Now, Mr. Kalashnikov, what are your thoughts on the General’s speech?”

“Well Nash, as I am sure you suspected, I am delighted at the appointment of such a noble, honorable, upstanding, and intelligent man to this prestigious office. I think he is a man who can get the job done. For too long, communist scumbags have been suckling on the fruits of hardworking businessmen like myself. It is high time this was stopped. It’s a good thing for those bastards that I’m not the one in power. I’d torture them to death, but our Chancellor is a far better man than I, and his mercy makes him even more honorable than he already is. All hail Emperor Antonius and Chancellor Cassius!”

“All hail! I agree with you completely. At least we do have some sane minds in the world, unlike Ms. Destroyer of innocence over here. So, Maria, on to you. Why do you advocate the murder of newborn canines?”

“I already told you! I never said anything about that! I think puppy murder is terrible!”

“Yeah, and I’m a Chinese jet pilot.”

“Nash!”

“(under his breath)Murderer…”

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing at all. What about your notorious pastime of selling your body to random passerby?”

“Can we please stop with the slander, and get on to the issue at hand.”

“Well, it depends on how much it will cost me.”

“I’m going to put this behind me-“

“You do that.”

“Ahem! and get on with the debate. This appointment is a horrible and sad day for the empire, and humanity. This ‘illustrious,’ ‘august’ man you laud for his heroism and intellect is in reality a sick, perverse, murderer.”

“Blasphemer!”

“Shut up! Do have any idea what he did during his so called honorable tours of duty in Shoobooshaba and Mozambique? Through the entirety of his time serving as a member of the occupation force in Shoobooshaba, he is alleged to have forcibly raped not one, but twenty young women below the age of eighteen! In Mozambique, his forces were responsible for the greatest mass murder in the history of the Empire!”

Maria removes a large, multi-paged document.

“This is a copy of the testimonial put forward by the Mozambique natives and Lightning Star colonials who came forward courageously, and were executed for it.”

She begins reading.

“On July eighteenth, in the year of two-thousand eight, a small group of thirty Imperial Praetorians led personally by the Captain Avidius Cassius entered a large village to the south of the city of Beira. His men drove the population into the center of the village, and then proceeded to violate the native women. The soldiers then tortured, mutilated, and otherwise disfigured several occupants of the village, and forced them into small cages, whereupon they were poked at with hot iron cattle prods and otherwise humiliated by the Praetorians. When they had finished, the soldiers mercilessly hacked with saber, and gunned down the remainder of the occupants. The village was torched, and valuables carried off.”

She finishes and begins to speak again,

“There are over one hundred of these reports, Nash. This man is not a hero, but a monster.”

“You sick, sick woman! Slanderer! Traitor! How dare you come on my show with forged documents to slander one of the noblest men of our era! Security! Take this whore away!”

Maria stands up.

“What!? How dare you! You are nothing more than a puppet!”

Two bouncers grab Maria by the arms and begin to drag her offstage. She kicks and screams.

“Don’t you call me a whore! Get your hands off of me!”

The bouncers drag the screaming woman towards a back door, and throw her out into an alley. She gets up, disgusted, and brushes herself off, before walking out into the street, and returning to her apartment.
Mederos
23-09-2004, 00:58
from the desk of:
jimmy tilton
secritary of foreign affairs
nation of mederos
we send our depest congratulations to emporer antonius.we hope that yur time sspent will abound to all.our president would like to formaly visit you country.to personally meet your empeor himself
Generic empire
23-09-2004, 01:00
from the desk of:
jimmy tilton
secritary of foreign affairs
nation of mederos
we send our depest congratulations to emporer antonius.we hope that yur time sspent will abound to all.our president would like to formaly visit you country.to personally meet your empeor himself

((OOC: Run your posts through a word processor. You have way too many typos. Then maybe we'll talk.))
The Island of Rose
23-09-2004, 01:01
Official Statement from The Proletariat Commonwealth of The Island of Rose:

You have as much tact as a fat man chasing a hot dog cart when it comes to shutting up a woman.
-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Rosta Einvach
Mederos
23-09-2004, 01:05
((OOC: Run your posts through a word processor. You have way too many typos. Then maybe we'll talk.))
did not know my typing had to be perfect to play the game so never mind later
Generic empire
23-09-2004, 01:07
Official Statement from The Proletariat Commonwealth of The Island of Rose:

You have as much tact as a fat man chasing a hot dog cart when it comes to shutting up a woman.
-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Rosta Einvach

((OOC: I enjoy the metaphor, but Nash is a rather tactless fellow when it comes to...well, anything.))
Generic empire
23-09-2004, 01:24
Super Magnanimous Bumpage