NationStates Jolt Archive

Announcing TNNN – The NationStates N00B Network
Press Release – For Immediate Distribution

From: Frisbeeterian Comedy Channels, Ltd. A Division of Murdock Metro Media

FCC Ltd. is proud to announce the formation of a new worldwide satellite network, which will be available to all of NationStates.

TNNN – The NationStates N00B Network is committed to lowest-common-denominator programming suitable for all viewing audiences. With the widespread acceptance of reality TV, nothing could be more real than the sight of two, three, or even more n00bish nations at war with each other. MMM and FCC are committed to serving this audience in the best way possible, through low-cost satellite feed with the widest possible audience base.

TNNN began its broadcasting life earlier this year with a package of fine comedy programs suitable for most ages. Effective immediately, TNNN programming can now be seen by all of NationStates. Murdock Metro Media of Frisbeeteria has completed its world-girdling broadcast satellite network on all known NationStates worlds, and has established an FTL feed system to outsystem worlds and settlements in the expanding FutureTech sector as well. Cooperating governmental assistance can be arranged on a nation-by-nation basis to arrange redistribution to even the lowest-tech nations.

Rebroadcast rights are available to any and all nations for a minimal fee. There is no need to respond to request access to these channels, as MMM's sophisticated channel scanning software will detect rebroadcast and bill the appropriate private or public station at a rate of $1,000 per million viewers. These incredibly reasonable fees will be waived for any nation or entity who contributes programming to TNNN. MMM asks only that such programming be added to this programming guide, using approximately the same formatting as other entries. Submissions will automatically be added to the programming queue.

TNNN plans to kick off its new fall season with a series of Hatarian programs from our sister network, FCC, Ltd. Subscribers to FCC will continue to receive the All Hataria, All The Time programming for the remainder of the month, at which point all such programming will be taken over by TNNN. Advertising blocks will be available to any interested parties. MMM reserves 50% of all advertising space in all TNNN programming, with the remainder being available for local insertion by the re-broadcasting network. Contact the MMM TechOps department for additional technical questions.

Contact: Murdock Metro Media, Pty.
TechOps Department
Murdock Metro Media Megaplex
One Adam Smith Plaza
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria
Telex: 0MGZ-P1332-N0-1337

TNNN Programming Schedule
(TNNN Original!) / (Mastern00b Classics) / (Outside programming)

NationStates' Most Inept

This week's program features an all-terrorism program of foibles and footfaults that have to be seen to be ignored. Featuring: Terrorists Strike Hataria (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=360322): -Taliban- bombers fail to realize their plane was turned back and blow up their own airport
Attack upon Borman Empire and Phalanix (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=360302): Angelic Freedom presents a dream sequence that turns ugly when they attack two nations under martial law. Let the n00ks fly!
Hataria Mobilizes against Angelic Freedom (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=360315) Everyone's favorite victim pays out billions in Monopoly money to random strangers bearing dead bodies. ... and many, many more. Stay tuned for the whole two-hour special, and don't forget the barf bags. This one is truly pukeworthy!

----------------------------

This Old Godmodder

Master n00b Rehabilitator Automagfreek takes on what may be his biggest project ever: the rejuvenation of former Mastern00b Theatre star Sephrioth. First task: to rebuild a crumbling foundation and shore up termite-ridden floor joists. Guest carpenters from a variety of nations lend a helping hand on this massive project, which is likely to turn into a regular feature. Also, a special feature by Dread Lady Nathicana on Wanking the Honorverse: A Lesson in 'Don'ts'.
the shards of peace (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358696)

----------------------------

Where in the World is Whittier? (TV-14, Implied violence)

Newcomer Mesazoic takes on the vast military machine of Whittier armed with a highly improbable assortment of chemical and biological weaponry. Hilarity ensues as a variety of Whittier allies and enemies join the free-for-all on one or even both sides at once.
War With Whitter (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358925)

----------------------------

Mastern00b Theatre Presents
The Sephrioth Saga
----------------------------Episode 1: Victory Through Defeat
Sephrioth makes its entrance onto the Grand Stage with this statement, "looking for a nation to fight against so 1 i can test my nuke cannons." An adequate introduction to the world of Sephriothian warfare.
i decleare war on any 1 (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=315784)
----------------------------

Episode 2: The Missing Gunner
In an uncanny flashback episode, Sephrioth attacks the giant (but absent) nation of Aust.
i high comander of Sephrioth declare war on aust (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=315979)
----------------------------

Episode 3: Attack of the Clones
Cloudsbody and Sephrioth go head-to-head in this one-sentence-at-a-time intellectual thriller.
cloudsbody attacks sephrioth (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=326379)
----------------------------

Episode 4: WFT LOL Space Battle
Soltekistaan emulates n00bishness long enough to draw in our star, but ends the battle abruptly with a mighty lol.
the mighty empire of sephrioth declares war on Soltekistaan (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=330087)
----------------------------

Episode 5: TIORs of Sorrow, TIORs of Joy
The Island of Rose takes a glancing blow from a would-be attack. Allies swarm to their aid with advanced fusion I.G.N.O.R.E. Cannon, as the attacker somehow fails to turn TIOR into a smoking crater.
war declared on The Island of Rose (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=334872)

Mastern00b Theatre Presents
Hataria, My Hataria
---------------------------- Movie of the Week: Goon with the Wind

Hataria once again makes a bizarre attack against the South, this time picking Communist Mississippi as its easy target. In a spectacle as rich as it is annoying, the Swordsmen and War Mastdons [sic] find themselves pitted against the highly racially charged Ignore cannons of CM and neighboring Communist Louisiana. Revel in the rich pageantry of the old South, captured for your Baka ?viewing pleasure in vivid Cinemascope.
Hataria Invades Communist Mississippi ( http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=342854)

----------------------------

My Favorite Hatarians! ? The Greatest Hits

The classic FCC comedy that started it all. Host Colin Quinn presents out-takes and highlight reels from a variety of MFH episodes over the years. Includes never-before scenes from The Hatarian Respawning Olympics. Watch their fearless leader scatter wheat upon the earth and have whole Legions of troops appear! Watch as strips of tinfoil morph into scores of aircraft! And for the Grand Finale, you won't believe your eyes as bat guano turns into entire carrier Task Forces!You think you've seen magic when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear? You ain't seen nothin' yet, friends.Hataria Mobilizes the Army! (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=355683)

----------------------------

MFH - Aust of the Closet

Repeat. Newcomer Hataria makes their debut appearance in a bizarre attack on the huge nation of Aust. 'Rockit Prepaled Grarales (RPG's)' and '10 Megaton Naipum Bombs' fly madly as the Austian IGNORE cannons are unlimbered. Fun for the whole family!
Declaretion of War on Aust ( http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=334050)

----------------------------

MFH - My Dinner with Franco

Repeat. An amusing conversation between Hataria and an imaginary opponent, concerning an imaginary army armed with imaginary weapons. Imaginative!
Hataria Declares War on FRANCOS SPAIN! ( http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=341429)

----------------------------

MFH - N00bs Gone Wild! ? n00b on n00b Action!

Hataria accidentally attacks itself in disguise, but stops for no apparent reason. Guest starring Pamela Anderson-Lee as Madame Mammalia.
War with Hatarian Mammalia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=340125)

----------------------------

Hataria TREK

An all-new entry for an all-new genre! Introducing All-Tech Wars, where the might and majesty of Horsemen and War Mastodons battle head to head against intergalactic starships and plasma weapons. TNNN will carry this LIVE, and even we have no idea where it's headed. Look for action on Earth One, Earth 4 (revision2.1), and wherever Droid Armies are found!
Hataria Declares War against Communist Louisiana. (Open/Modern/Past Tech RP) (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358866)

----------------------------

Movie of the Weak: Lust For Gin and Tonic

This classic pits (once again) the fumbling Hatarian armed forces in a bar brawl of epic proportions. Using captured DPUO decoy cardboard tanks, tinfoil aircraft, and a massive bathtub Merchant Fleat, the Hatarians avoid Ignore Cannon after Ignore Cannon in yet another futile attempt at world supremacy. Digitally-recreated costars include Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman as the four-gin-soaked star-crossed lovers, Rick and Ilsa.
Hataria Declares its Indpendence from the Forgin Powers. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=351012)

----------------------------

N00bs: Genetic or on Purpose? (The Island of Rose (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7067769&postcount=17))

A study on the n00b and forms of it. We strive to explain why n00bs won't reform and study. This program includes studies of n00bism in its many forms, and interviews with former n00bs. It also gives the latest news on the field of n00bism. Through this program, we might find a cure for it.

----------------------------

A Rose and a Horde of N00bs: (The Island of Rose (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7067769&postcount=17))

Watch as the Island of Rose's President, Sergei Ilyanov, defends his mighty Island from hordes of n00bs. Watch as communist IGNORE cannons magnificently spread the red and destroy all who oppose it. The last 10 minutes is a review of the events and Sergei's last words. On every night on FOX! I mean... TNNN!

----------------------------

Hatrian Blockade Fallover (Jackdonia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7067711&postcount=16))

See ships being made out of thin air! Or troops out of clay,in any case this movie is about the failures of Hatria in the old Earth IV and others too. This comedy will have you laughing all day and all night long.

----------------------------

Short Attention Span n00bs

Short, sweet, and to the point, these fly-by-night n00bish bits make a quick appearance and are quickly ignored. Not by us, though! Join host John Walsh in this nightly testimonial to N00bs Most Unwanted! Trulin (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359088) goes to war against the ... 'league of nations'?
Lemur Screech (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358552) goes nudist ... but nobody notices.
The amazing 345 mph CT-2004 Hatarian Battle Tanks (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358311) and Droid Army (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358021)!
Sephrioth IGNORES Hataria (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=356885)! Sorry, just had to include it ...

For additional information and resource guides, TNNN is proud to welcome The Godmod Institute for the Advanced N00bular Studies (http://s6.invisionfree.com/International_Mall/index.php?showforum=1) to our broadcast family. Please visit their site soon!

Wow, that's hilarious!

17 thumbs up!

seriously, that rocks :D

seriously, that rocks :D
[ooc] Hogsweat, see if you can dig up the thread where OMG Hataria was introduced, and add it to the lineup.

OOC: LOL, good stuff!

Nice to see some humour on I.I. :D

I suggest our homegrown movie Hatria Blockade Falls to be produce on the n00b network.

You're going to make a fortune out of this cash cow! Networks all over the world will be snapping it up! And so they should!

Jackdonia will purchse broadcasting rights to all the movies here.

Add the one where Speh RPs with his puppet, Cloudsbody!

((OOC: What about the one about me getting attacked repetedly by hordes of n00bs? :confused: ))

OOC: I give it a quadrillion well... its ****ing perfect! I was laughing my arse off in college and people were staring at me like i was a freak...ok that didn't happen but still.

I'm not sure i ever want Hataria to leave...

At least not until we've got enough threads to keep everybody entertained for life. :D

BTW: despite the fact that Hataria is the main attraction, might i suggest you add some others...if any?

((OOC: What about the one about me getting attacked repetedly by hordes of n00bs? ))

Add the one where Speh RPs with his puppet, Cloudsbody!
"Friends, TNNN can't have its cameras everywhere at once - we're asking for your help. All we need is a Title, a bit of description, and a link to the original storyline, and your nation gets TNNN for FREE!"

"We're not picky (as you can clearly tell). We'll broadcast ANYTHING!"

w00t! I think James deGritz may subscribe to this station...

Additional note: You guys are going to have to be careful not to turn this into actual insults, it's one thing to see something stupid and parody it, it's another to go out of your way to insult people.

[tag]

For inclusion on TNNN:
Hatrian Blockade Fallover

See ships being made out of thin air!

Or troops out of clay,in any case this movie is about the failures of Hatria in the old Earth IV and others too.

This comedy will have you laughing all day and all night long.

N00bs: Genetic or on Purpose?

A study on the n00b and forms of it. We strive to explain why n00bs won't reform and study. This program includes studies of n00bism in its many forms, and interviews with former n00bs. It also gives the latest news on the field of n00bism. Through this program, we might find a cure for it.

------------------------

A Rose and a Horde of N00bs:

Watch as the Island of Rose's President, Sergei Ilyanov, defends his mighty Island from hordes of n00bs. Watch as communist IGNORE cannons magnificently spread the red and destroy all who oppose it. The last 10 minutes is a review of the events and Sergei's last words. On every night on FOX! I mean... TNNN!

(TIOR and Jackdonia programming added)

Additional note: You guys are going to have to be careful not to turn this into actual insults, it's one thing to see something stupid and parody it, it's another to go out of your way to insult people.
[OOC] Just saw this added, and completely agree. Frankly, the insults write themselves in the linked threads, so there's no need for us to compete. Since I'm adding them to a post in my name, I don't want to get mod-slapped over something questionable.

Keep those entries coming (especially with valid links, please), and keep the content non-libelous. Thanks!

Five out of Five! :)

Lol, oh this quality entertainment. Congratulations, you get the CornixPes stamp of approval!

I was wondering if a corporate alliance is in the works.

You see, as chairperson and founder of the Godmod Institute for the Advanced N00bular Studies, a pact between your broadcast corporation and my university would be perfect. Our experts could clearly commentate and possibly even EXPLAIN the occurences of the n00bs.

Just a thought.

I can give you the official offices if you wish. They are located on the International Mall, but I am planning on moving to a new building soon.

Brilliant. Utterly brilliant.

Classic! By the way, I'd like broadcast rights also.

Giscard Ricatta, Managing Director
MMM New Media Crosspromotion
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria

Sirs,

An intriguing idea indeed. Our lowest-common-denominator entertainment, multiplied by your Advanced N00bular Institute ... figure in multiplicative distribution to the multiverse ... 16! factorial ... carry the three ... yes, I think we could work something out.
I can give you the official offices if you wish.
That would be a good start. What's the address?

Giscard

Classic! By the way, I'd like broadcast rights also.TechOps Department
Murdock Metro Media Megaplex
One Adam Smith Plaza
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria
Telex: 0MGZ-P1332-N0-1337
Broadcast rights are available without requiring permission. As noted in the original press release, our high-quality channel tracking software, combined with NS Standardized population and viewership numbers give MMM nearly exact numbers for our billing department. Your national networks will automatically receive our extraordinary reasonable bills. Failure to pay is assumed to be caused by inordinate amounts of laughter, and automatic 60 day extensions are granted as long as n00bishness is being broadcast.

We thank you for your support.



* an additional note is attached to this obviously auto-responded message *

Actually, we'd rather hoped to hear from DPUO networks, as we've been led to believe that your nation attracts more than it's fair share of n00bish attacks. Anything you could share with us?

Giscard Ricatta, Managing Director
MMM New Media Crosspromotion

I have these rights too right?

I have these rights too right?
TechOps Department
Murdock Metro Media Megaplex
One Adam Smith Plaza
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria
Telex: 0MGZ-P1332-N0-1337
Broadcast rights are available without requiring permission. As noted in the original press release, our high-quality channel tracking software, combined with NS Standardized population and viewership numbers give MMM nearly exact numbers for our billing department. Your national networks will automatically receive our extraordinary reasonable bills. Failure to pay is assumed to be caused by inordinate amounts of laughter, and automatic 60 day extensions are granted as long as n00bishness is being broadcast.

We thank you for your support.


... that darn autoresponder ...

As a contributor, you not only get free rebroadcast rights, you'll be seeing a share of revenue based on ratings and renewals. Look for your first bank wires shortly after ratings week. We're hoping that will bring "TIORs of Joy" to your nation.

Giscard Ricatta, Managing Director
MMM New Media Crosspromotion

Announcing TNNN – The NationStates N00B Network
Press Release – For Immediate Distribution

From: Frisbeeterian Comedy Channels, Ltd. A Division of Murdock Metro Media

FCC Ltd. is proud to announce the formation of a new worldwide satellite network, which will be available to all of NationStates.

TNNN – The NationStates N00B Network is committed to lowest-common-denominator programming suitable for all viewing audiences. With the widespread acceptance of reality TV, nothing could be more real than the sight of two, three, or even more n00bish nations at war with each other. MMM and FCC are committed to serving this audience in the best way possible, through low-cost satellite feed with the widest possible audience base.

TNNN began its broadcasting life earlier this year with a package of fine comedy programs suitable for most ages. Effective immediately, TNNN programming can now be seen by all of NationStates. Murdock Metro Media of Frisbeeteria has completed its world-girdling broadcast satellite network on all known NationStates worlds, and has established an FTL feed system to outsystem worlds and settlements in the expanding FutureTech sector as well. Cooperating governmental assistance can be arranged on a nation-by-nation basis to arrange redistribution to even the lowest-tech nations.

Rebroadcast rights are available to any and all nations for a minimal fee. There is no need to respond to request access to these channels, as MMM's sophisticated channel scanning software will detect rebroadcast and bill the appropriate private or public station at a rate of $1,000 per million viewers. These incredibly reasonable fees will be waived for any nation or entity who contributes programming to TNNN. MMM asks only that such programming be added to this programming guide, using approximately the same formatting as other entries. Submissions will automatically be added to the programming queue.

TNNN plans to kick off its new fall season with a series of Hatarian programs from our sister network, FCC, Ltd. Subscribers to FCC will continue to receive the All Hataria, All The Time programming for the remainder of the month, at which point all such programming will be taken over by TNNN. Advertising blocks will be available to any interested parties. MMM reserves 50% of all advertising space in all TNNN programming, with the remainder being available for local insertion by the re-broadcasting network. Contact the MMM TechOps department for additional technical questions.

Contact: Murdock Metro Media, Pty.
TechOps Department
Murdock Metro Media Megaplex
One Adam Smith Plaza
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria
Telex: 0MGZ-P1332-N0-1337
I would like to purchase 900,000 dollars worth of this channel.

I would like to purchase 900,000 dollars worth of this channel.
Giscard Ricatta, Managing Director
MMM New Media Crosspromotion
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria

Sirs,

We are very gratified at this vote of confidence in our product, and appreciative of your offer. For the forseeable future, all voting shares of Murdoch Metro Media are closely held by the Conglomerated Oligarchy of Frisbeeterian Corporate States. However, given the strong support shown to this our latest venture, I will bring your request to the attention of Director Murdoch. It is possible that Frisbeeteria will spin off a Preferred Stock issue for TNNN, and I'll ask Mr. Murdoch to present that concept to the Directorate. I can assure you that you'll be at the top of the list for our limited IPO.

Sincerely,
Giscard Ricatta,
Managing Director

Due to now it seems I own a major section of the stock. So I would like to make another channel that is owned by you. It would consist of good Rps and good Rpers. Itcould be called: IIB: International Incidents' Best. Do you like the idea, Frisbeeteria.

-Official Ratheian Government Response-

Frisbeeteria has been made Hero of Ratheia for his quest against noobishness.
The ceremony will take place in a little while.

Due to now it seems I own a major section of the stock. So I would like to make another channel that is owned by you. It would consist of good Rps and good Rpers. Itcould be called: IIB: International Incidents' Best. Do you like the idea, Frisbeeteria.
Giscard Ricatta, Managing Director
MMM New Media Crosspromotion
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria

Holy Paradise,

Your idea for a quality channel sounds promising. As we already have the distribution network in place, it seems a logical enough cross-relationship. However, at this time we're rather swamped with the combination of the new Multiverse satellite venture and the production demands of TNNN. If you're interested in handling the production, we'll be happy to work with you on distribution. Details can be worked out by our legal and accounting staffs in a way that will be beneficial to all signatories, I'm certain.

As to your holding MMM stock, I think you may have us confused with Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing (3M). All Murdoch Metro Media stock is closely held within Frisbeeteria, and we have no foreign investors at this time. We are, of course, always willing to enter into appropriate contracts and partnerships with nations who understand the need for profit.

Please let us know your wishes in this regard,

Sincerely,
Giscard Ricatta,
Managing Director

feel free to post a topic similar to this one, HP. At this point, we're in the Comedy business

OOC: ROFLMAO :D FANTASTIC!! We nominate you for an NS Emmy Award (hmm, idea for RP stikes).

IC:
Dear Sirs:

We have an idea for a new reality show called "N00b's Market" in the show, the leaders of small N00b nations try to convince world powers that they can afford to purchase billions of dollars worth of armaments and WMD's despite having a miniscule population and a GDP less than that of Texas.

We love the network and gladly tender our payment for 10 years worth of broadcast rights to our citizens.

Sincerely,
Dan Blather,
Entertainment Director, Norleans

Dear Sirs:

We have an idea for a new reality show called "N00b's Market" in the show, the leaders of small N00b nations try to convince world powers that they can afford to purchase billions of dollars worth of armaments and WMD's despite having a miniscule population and a GDP less than that of Texas.

We love the network and gladly tender our payment for 10 years worth of broadcast rights to our citizens.

Sincerely,
Dan Blather,
Entertainment Director, NorleansGiscard Ricatta, Managing Director
MMM New Media Crosspromotion
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria

Mr. Blather,

First, our sympathies for your recent travails. We in the news business stand behind you ... metaphorically, of course.

We like this idea a lot. Can you storyboard a concept for me? Off the top of my head, I've got this vision of a large hall, with lots of young nations standing in long lines, anxiously clutching their military designs to their chests. At the head of the line are a few experienced storefront operators and RPers ... the experts, if you will.

We could call it WMD Roadshow ...

Work with me here ...

Sincerely,
Giscard Ricatta,
Managing Director

Sanctaphrax would like to purchase broadcasting rights to all the Hataria programs. Please let us know if that's possible!

Sanctaphrax would like to purchase broadcasting rights to all the Hataria programs. Please let us know if that's possible!
TechOps Department
Murdock Metro Media Megaplex
One Adam Smith Plaza
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria
Telex: 0MGZ-P1332-N0-1337
Broadcast rights are available without requiring permission. As noted in the original press release, our high-quality channel tracking software, combined with NS Standardized population and viewership numbers, give MMM nearly exact numbers for our billing department. Your national networks will automatically receive our extraordinary reasonable bills. Failure to pay is assumed to be caused by inordinate amounts of laughter, and automatic 60 day extensions are granted as long as n00bishness is being broadcast.

We thank you for your support.

Massive, Hilarious, heartbreaking, Bunkerblasting LOL!

Fantastic work. I just came back to NS after a summer break, and what i find is the same old fantastic humor. Keep up the good work.

The Valuan Empire-Formerly The Imperial Navy.

TechOps Department
Murdock Metro Media Megaplex
One Adam Smith Plaza
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria
Telex: 0MGZ-P1332-N0-1337
Broadcast rights are available without requiring permission. As noted in the original press release, our high-quality channel tracking software, combined with NS Standardized population and viewership numbers, give MMM nearly exact numbers for our billing department. Your national networks will automatically receive our extraordinary reasonable bills. Failure to pay is assumed to be caused by inordinate amounts of laughter, and automatic 60 day extensions are granted as long as n00bishness is being broadcast.

We thank you for your support.
In that case we will broadcast the Hataria programs. Thank you for your co-operation.

MMM Remote Camera Platforms Introduced
Press Release – For Immediate Distribution

From: Frisbeeterian Comedy Channels, Ltd. A Division of Murdock Metro Media

Murdock Metro Media, in conjunction with MilSpecDefInd Skunkworks, is pleased to announce a breakthrough in Hoverdrone® technology. High endurance, low signature, camera drones are now being manufactured in large quantities for TNNN's exclusive use. Due to their stealth-materials construction, these devices effectively radar transparent. *

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/hoverdrone.jpg

MilSpecDefInd Skunkworks Hoverdrone®

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/HoverjetFinal_03.jpg

Small enough to be all but invisible, maneuverable enough to keep out of the way of most armed conflicts, and cheap enough to deploy in large quantities; Hoverdrones® are ideally suited to the recording needs of TNNN. Each Hoverdrone® is equipped with twin micro-miniature HighDef camerapods on 180° tracking mounts:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/cameradome.jpg
CameraPod Mount®

Automated uplinks to TNNN's existing HighDef Camsats ® allow for easy rebroadcast and inclusion into programming:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/camsat1.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/camsat2.jpg
Murdock Metro Media HighDef Camsats ®

As always, TNNN spares no expense to bring you the quality programming you expect and deserve!

* MilSpecDefInd regrets that due to size and power constraints, these vehicles may not be adapted for combat use. Any attempt to infringe on MilSpecDefInd patents will be met with severe and immediate response.

Contact:Murdock Metro Media, Pty.
TechOps Department
Murdock Metro Media Megaplex
One Adam Smith Plaza
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria
Telex: 0MGZ-P1332-N0-1337

The following notification may be placed in any area of n00bish observance. TNNN Contributors are encouraged to copy the code below and report such topics to TNNN as additional programming ideas.

This Conflict Is Now Being Monitored By
TNNN - The NationStates N00B Network

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/Hoverjet_sm.jpg (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359039)

Unarmed TNNN Hoverdrone ® platforms and HD CamSats ®
have been deployed for your protection and our amusement. Be warned:
All n00bish behavior and godmodding will be broadcast to all TNNN subscribers.


This Conflict Is Now Being Monitored By
TNNN - The NationStates N00B Network

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/Hoverjet_sm.jpg (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359039)

Unarmed TNNN Hoverdrone ® platforms and HD CamSats ®
have been deployed for your protection and our amusement. Be warned:
All n00bish behavior and godmodding will be broadcast to all TNNN subscribers.


edit: There have been a few quite legitimate comments about the intrusive nature of the TNNN logos. We offer this alternative, designed to be added to the bottom of your TNNN report posts.

As before, please feel free to copy the code from the box below and add this network logo to your post.

Thank you for supporting TNNN!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/drone/Hoverjet_tiny.jpg
TNNN (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359039) Hoverdrone Report

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/drone/Hoverjet_tiny.jpg
TNNN (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359039) Hoverdrone Report

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! I Like It!!!!!!!

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!! I Like It!!!!!!!
You realise that the whole thing takes the piss out of you right???

You realise that the whole thing takes the piss out of you right???
Nope. I'm about 90% certain that Hataria is too thick skulled to realize that. If I'm wrong I might just consider unignoring him..

Hay Freesbiteria,
I have an idea for a show to be made!

How about a show where n00bs are buying more weapons and such then they can afford and take it home anyway despite what the delear tells them!

Hey, not sure you got it, but you saw Haratia's 345 mph, then $100 Billion dollar tank? I tagged it with the TNNN Drones and am providing a link below:

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=358311

Enjoy!

Got another good one:

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7082787&posted=1#post7082787

Can't think of a title, but has potential as a good vs. evil thing.

Here is a show concept.

It would be a reality show with some NOOB national leaders. They would all live in one palace. It would The Real World meets Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous meets Cribs. What do you think?

The Godmod Institute for the Advanced N00bular Studies (http://s6.invisionfree.com/International_Mall/index.php?showforum=1)

The Godmod Institute for the Advanced N00bular Studies (http://s6.invisionfree.com/International_Mall/index.php?showforum=1)
Added as a resource to post 2. Thanks, and welcome!

This thread I think will get interesting...as it involves Hataria:
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359593

And you said to post in here about Reich News Network HDTV Boardcasting of TNNN?

Te working title isIf Ignorance is bliss this guy is in ecstasy (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=34912&page=1&pp=15&highlight=nuclear)

This thread I think will get interesting...as it involves Hataria:
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359593

And you said to post in here about Reich News Network HDTV Boardcasting of TNNN?
Giscard Ricatta, Managing Director
MMM New Media Crosspromotion
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria

Dear Contributors,

For now, we are overstocked on Hataria stories. We tried to add them all, ut Hataria is just too persistant to be funny. Please feel free to add offer them up in this space, but we can't promise to turn them into proper comedies.

Rest assured that TNNN cameras will be recording all material, but broadcast may be delayed due to the sheer volume. We thank you for your contributions and your support.

Giscard

Wow, that's hilarious!

17 thumbs up!


78 thumbs Way WAY Up

78 thumbs Way WAY Up
TNNN takes official notice that Hataria is apparently all thumbs.

hahaha, amazing.

[tag]

Wow this thread should be stickied. Thanks to Frisbeeteria for all the laughs. I hope that ypu will continue to monitor noobish behavior so the rest of us know how inteligent we are.

Watch and hold your breath while a brand new nation creates over 500 nukes out of thin air and drops them on a peaceful country! And watch while a nation briefly insults their actions and 5,000 nukes are created from no-where and dropped on that nation!
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359860

This channel has been given the Golden Chocobo seal of approval for broadcasting on all television networks in the Empire.

http://www.kristasalter.com/gamesguru/ffvii/goldchocobo.jpg

We would like rights to broadcast this on the national TV network. We need another comedy channel and this looks like it will be one of the best

There have been a few quite legitimate comments about the intrusive nature of the TNNN logos. We offer this alternative, designed to be added to the bottom of your TNNN report posts.

As before, please feel free to copy the code from the box below and add this network logo to your post.

Thank you for supporting TNNN!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/drone/Hoverjet_tiny.jpg
TNNN (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359039) Hoverdrone Report

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/drone/Hoverjet_tiny.jpg
TNNN (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=359039) Hoverdrone Report

I'm no expert RPer or anything, but am I the only person who's noticed that it seems to be 'n00b season' around here lately? I've been here with one nation or another since June, and I can't remember ever seeing so many n00b threads in such a short space of time... These are good times for TNNN! Bad for every other thread though, I suppose...

I can't remember ever seeing so many n00b threads in such a short space of time.
TNNN was created in hopes of shaming n00bish behavior out of the players and allowing them to mature into decent roleplayers. Trouble is, we forgot one key fact.

People love to be on TV.

This has turned into reality show season, and even Hataria has posted that he loves this thread. Now we've got a dozen different enablers (pretty much all August and September 2004 nations) out there turning Hataria into a star. He's getting exactly the attention he craves.

If you want to stop n00bish behavior, don't respond to the thread! We can't wait for there to be no need for TNNN.

TNNN was created in hopes of shaming n00bish behavior out of the players and allowing them to mature into decent roleplayers. Trouble is, we forgot one key fact.

People love to be on TV.

This has turned into reality show season, and even Hataria has posted that he loves this thread. Now we've got a dozen different enablers (pretty much all August and September 2004 nations) out there turning Hataria into a star. He's getting exactly the attention he craves.

If you want to stop n00bish behavior, don't respond to the thread! We can't wait for there to be no need for TNNN.

Lol, good point.

Hey... wait a minute... doesn't that mean this is partially YOUR fault?!

*Bretonia Starts building 5,0,000 unstoppable N00ks to Lunch at j00 when They're all finished In A few Million years time*

OOC: I sent all of Earth III (or was it IV) into an ice age once in an attempt to destroy Hataria by dropping a bunch of natural resource asteroids on him. Of course, that just made him admit losing one army :rolleyes:

I love this thread. Love it :)

At first I thought to myself "omg...what a loser to do this" and then I started to smile, then chuckle and before it was done I was rolling on the floor laughing. Just from the Sephiroth part. Great job! Need MORE though!

We need more! More! I see big things for TNNN! Big things! I have a great idea for a show. A 5 way free for all that includes: Hataria, Sepherioth, OTom, The Mighty Lu Bu, and that other guy who couldn't spell and declared war on Hataria! It would be great! Great!

The Workers Paradise of Rubberduckistan gives this Network the official "WPRD A-OK" seal. Five quacks out of five. :D

I am cracking up laughing at the antics of Sephiroth and Hataria. I still cannot believe that someone can RP as badly as Sephiroth can, before AMF helped him out.

I vouch for the N00B Market, where N00Bs try to buy billions of dollars worth of WMDs Carriers and the like, Its hilarious to see that, and then, they say that they can afford it!

Your wish is my command!
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=6650731&postcount=12
Classic Hataria!

TNNN is not adding any Hataria programming to the schedule, but we just rediscovered this post in the Forgin Powers topic.Originally Posted by Hatarian Mammalia
Even though news of a Cave being fond In Mammalia is Normal, One with 23 Battleships, 16 Destroyers, and one Carrier is the best news ever!

Two Boys fond the cave and told some Cave exporers about it. The exporers soon fond a Task Force of ships, WITH A CARRIER! This was Good news for the rebels, if one Cave has ships then why not more Caves?

The Mammalian Navy hid these Ship when The Invasion happened, the only other cave with ships had Troop Carriers.

Now the Rebels hope for more ships to be fond.

OOC: yep a Cave, hey....it is a good place to hide some ships.
It needed immortalizing. Quite possibly the best/worst godmode post ever!

Frisbeeteria, you may want to register for the International Mall. I'll set up an office for you in the GIANS.

Frisbeeteria, you may want to register for the International Mall. I'll set up an office for you in the GIANS.
TNNN greatly appreciates the spacious new offices in the International Mall. Thanks, Derscon. We've already set up a couple of notification boards.

TNNN - The NationStates N00B Network (http://s6.invisionfree.com/International_Mall/index.php?showtopic=1518) (Announcments topic)
TNNN Programming Schedule (http://s6.invisionfree.com/International_Mall/index.php?showtopic=1519) (Contributions Welcome)

I see Ded people ... and laugh at them

In yet another resoundingly stunning First Post, September nation Ded people takes on the former UN Delegate of w00tville. More on this story as it develops.
I declare war on iron pig (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=360789)

ONN had a special awhile back, an in-depth look at the uprising of Hataria. It was only a single posting, a short news segment, but I'm sure you'd find it quite revealing...if I could remember where I left it..

I see Ded people ... and laugh at them

In yet another resoundingly stunning First Post, September nation Ded people takes on the former UN Delegate of w00tville. More on this story as it develops.
I declare war on iron pig (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=360789)
It would appear that not only is co-belligerent Iron Pig a no-show, but the Ded people themselves have been thrust aside by Spam-wielding Pythoners. The battle rages on (as portrayed by the Batley Townswomens' Guild).

Tag

you may enjoy this: http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=360990

The Jonothana News Network Oppertunities Section:

Dear TNNN

Having seen your idea, we pondered what we have thought for a long time. What is it like to be Hataria, or Seph.?

We would therefore, with your permission, like to set up a new, independant or as a division of TNNN, an Interviews channel, where we attempt to get interviews of all those involved with certain conflicts.

JNN

We would therefore, with your permission, like to set up a new, independant or as a division of TNNN, an Interviews channel, where we attempt to get interviews of all those involved with certain conflicts.[OOC]
As TNNN is currently set up, we exclusively profile programming that can be linked to, with the links effectively being the shows themselves. All we do is provide the titles and a brief, hopefully humorous description.

If you or anyone else can find a way to creatively RP these interviews (and I strongly advise against inventing answers for the aforementioned nations, as that would be n00bish godmoddery), then we will happily link to such programming.

[IC]
TNNN has so much overstocked Hataria and Sephiroth footage at this point that we are not accepting new submissions. We continue to seek out new programming ideas and submissions from contributors, both here and in our offices in the International Mall (http://s6.invisionfree.com/International_Mall/index.php?showtopic=1519) offices of TNNN.

Once again, we thank you for your suggestions and support.

You should-a check-a this one-a out. (That was a typed italian accent)

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=343912&page=1&pp=15&highlight=Nuclear

this should work.

Yeah, that one wasn't really funny, it was just damn annoying. It's got into a sticky its so bad.

Meh. I found it somewhat funny

I suggest Cherry Ridge be put on this network, as he godmodded an astounding 6 times, accused others, who were totally innocent of godmodding, of being the real ones, and flamed everyone, on NS and off. He also backstabs his closest allies. All in one, 3 page thread.
Oh, and he doesn't seem to know how a theocracy works in Modern day.

A comedy in which two nations magically and automatically counter each other's attacks. With the added humour of troops and super weapons appearing everywhere when we really dont expect it. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=366950&page=1&pp=15)

war ON BLOOPERS MOVIE TEAM

Still, they deserve respect for not attacking everyone else like that. Yet, anyway.

I assume I get my $3.58 for this for getting the footage and filming it.

The School of Applied n00b Knowledge, the Lightning Star's premier school on studying n00bs, gives this the highest honor, the SANK N00B Prize. At the award ceremony, the directors were quoted as saying "LOL! THIS OWNZ PHAT L00T! 1337!"

The Picture on the Award:
http://www.n0by.de/n0/b/n00b.jpg

In other news, the Lightning Starian Soda Company, Quafe Soda, would like to advertise its products on TNNN. We are willing to pay $10,000,000 for a 6-month run of our commercial.

http://www.eve-online.com/bitmaps/img/weekly/quafe.jpg

On other note, we found some fine programming! Of course, this is a thread from the Dark Ages(otherwise known as the N00b Era) of The Lightning Star, and this in no way reflects the way The Lightning Star RP's today.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=337790] Oldie N00b Thread!

bump so no one forgets

bump

bump!

*Tear* this thread was once the most popular in II, what happened?

bump!

*Tear* this thread was once the most popular in II, what happened?

I dunno!

I guess no one likes watching n00bs no more...

I think it peaked with BMT and then died off for a while. I guess people join in different numbers at different times and now is a slow n00b time. Which is good.

I think it peaked with BMT and then died off for a while. I guess people join in different numbers at different times and now is a slow n00b time. Which is good.

This may be a n00by question but....

BMT?

Bloopers movie tema or whatever they were called.

*Uses the starship enterprise to kill you

moderator this thread has become spam as he is dead*

that one.

Oh sweet jesus on a pogo stick this is to funny!

Oh sweet jesus on a pogo stick this is to funny!
:confused:

Here it is, another n00b.
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=376604
In another resoundingly stupid first post, the nation declares war on England. In the typical n00by tradition, many smilies are involved.

Attemps to Rule Brittania:
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=376643
Yet another n00b, second of the day, attempting to take over England.

Anagonia is highly pleased with this new channel, and gives a high thumbs up to TNNN for its creation. However, seeing it has declined somewhat, we see need to put inspiration into the picture:

200 Billion dollars will be donated to the TNNN Founder if he/she comes back and makes our leaders laugh so hard they cry once more.

Anagonia is highly pleased with this new channel, and gives a high thumbs up to TNNN for its creation. However, seeing it has declined somewhat, we see need to put inspiration into the picture:

200 Billion dollars will be donated to the TNNN Founder if he/she comes back and makes our leaders laugh so hard they cry once more.
This is a pretty old thread. A couple months at least.

This is a pretty old thread. A couple months at least.

Dang...

PEOPLE, THIS THREAD IS DEAD. MOVE ON.

PEOPLE, THIS THREAD IS DEAD. MOVE ON.
javascript:adds(":'(")

:confused:
You'd get the joke if you read Planet Zebeth (http://www.kabutroid.com/planetzebeth)

We should send their posts to something awful to shame them even more(trust me it works)

wheres DA on the first post , you have hataria but not him :mad:

Yeah, that one wasn't really funny, it was just damn annoying. It's got into a sticky its so bad.

Muahahahahahahah....you can thank me later. ;)

LIVE, DANGIT!

*begins CPR on TNNN *

PEOPLE, THIS THREAD IS DEAD. MOVE ON.

*tinkers with the idea of creating a n00b puppet just to revive this thread* :D

Please don't kill me for those evil thoughts! I repent! I REPENT!!!11!!

SCREW YOU, IMPERIAL NAVY! THE N00BS LIVE ON, AND WE MUST STAY TO COMBAT THE N00BISHNESS!

TIN may have abandoned the war, and we true warrios may be few in numbers, But we will fight on!

http://www.thematrix101.com/media/still/photo-animatrix2.jpg

The Evil Woody Thoughts Press Agency hereby releases this n00b mockumentary (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=392059).

The Evil Woody Thoughts Press Agency hereby releases this n00b mockumentary (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=392059).

Good job continuing the Campaign, soldier. There are alot of n00bs, but united we can take 'em.

The Evil Woody Thoughts Press agency has received breaking reports of n00bery (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=396432), once again proving their excellence in timely news reporting.

...Our Armed Forces are invincible and will easily crush any imperialist who attempt to steal again our province of Zhuche.

More after the commercial break...

SCREW YOU, IMPERIAL NAVY! THE N00BS LIVE ON, AND WE MUST STAY TO COMBAT THE N00BISHNESS!

TIN may have abandoned the war, and we true warrios may be few in numbers, But we will fight on!

http://www.thematrix101.com/media/still/photo-animatrix2.jpg

Pathetic. Try some more style.

http://img161.exs.cx/img161/4130/satantin6mc.jpg

Pathetic. Try some more style.

http://img161.exs.cx/img161/4130/satantin6mc.jpg

Curses you are good....

Uh...I'll be right back

*gets on GIMP*

Evil Woody Thoughts Intelligence Services has recovered records (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=380837&page=3&pp=15) of an old n00b conflict and feels that it would make useful material for a documentary on n00bishness.

TNNN must live again! I forgot how hilarious this was.

http://www.freewebs.com/thelightningstar/Jin-Ghand.jpg
Ha! Your not the only one who has an art program, TIN!

lol that was funny

great job

Hey guys I had a great idea to salt the wounds of N00Bs, Basically after finding a noob topic, I recommend that you put their topics in the something awful weekend web.

Fris I have to commend you on this one. DAMN its funny!

*puts shovel in bag and gently lowers the coffin back then walks away whistling*

*puts shovel in bag and gently lowers the coffin back then walks away whistling*

LOL!

*re-opens grave, emerges, lowers coffin once again, runs like hell*

Laughs self silly - thanks for the digging!

Fris, /me like!

ROFLMAO

*looks at gravediggers, then walks away slowly...*

Yay! TNNN is BACK!

Oooooooh No it's not!

OOC: And why not? It's not often I laugh so hard I.... well, nevermind. :rolleyes:

PHOENIX DOWN!

*ressurects thread*

This is ... so ... hard.

<Hassan waves his cigarette in a gesture that says "ya know!'>

We pride ourselves on serious war reporting, like the Parthian invasion of Malgeria. But we were able to find a ... how do you say this ... a nugget. A gem. We hope, anyway. We report, you decide.

Attention! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=403209) - Jatinum Spade destroys the world (at least twice, apparently IGNORING his own first use of an uber-weapon), and is then completely befuddled by a metaphysical discourse (yes, you read that right) by Ayad's beloved Imam of Qu'um - an n00b dismissal that must surely win the Gandhi Award for the peaceful, patient, and loving handling of ... whatever Jatinum Spade was.

I'm pretty sure that if this thread is to be resurrected, it will have to be run by someone else now that Frisbeeteria is a Mod and has been for some time.

I may wish to take over the threads. I mean if that is ok with Fris.

And oh BTW here is another n00b worth reporting
Tarsonis 6 and the war of the smilies (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=431597&page=2&pp=15)

PHOENIX DOWN!

*ressurects thread*

L4 Suicide, the Thread takes critical damage and becomes mini.

Well here is another one this time the topic user bolded the topic.

War! Cant they be more creative? (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=433513&page=2&pp=15)

I want my TNNN BACK:mad:

Do you guys mind if I post the...

HATARIAN NAVAL BATTLES DOUBLE FEATURE
Behold the belly-splitting laughs you will have as you view the Hatarian Naval Battles Double Feature! See copyrighted anime characters used as Generals in the overwhelmingly effective Hatarian navy! See a fleet of over 800 ships sunk by 500 missiles! Witness Hataria's complete lack of knowledge of stealth and CICW systems! Plenty of laughs afoot as Hataria completely f**ks up, AGAIN!
The Invasion of Singapore! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=455249)
The Invasion of Jamacia! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=455996)

I want my TNNN BACK:mad:
Sorry. It would be inappropriate for me to take it back, and not that smart for me to sanction a takeover. I will, however, not cite anyone for gravedigging, and once again express the desire to "keep it nice, folks".

...I will, however, not cite anyone for gravedigging, and once again express the desire to "keep it nice, folks".

Does this mean I should continue to, er, fund my intelligence ministries?:D

OOC:
I'm gonna add this to my subscriptions....this is some funny shit.

Good stuff.