NationStates Jolt Archive

In celebration of the birth of the 500,000,000th citizen of Mattikistan, the government has given a contractor the go-ahead to begin work on an International Zoo.

This large facility will be based in the north of Helgoland, and will provide an entertaining and educational environment for adults and children alike. The International Zoo will be partially funded by the government, but mostly from its own commerce. The Representative Minister of Helgoland has been put in charge of the facility until it has been completed and staffed, and he promises that the zoo will be as pleasant for the animals as is technically and financially possible.

The Confederacy Society for the Protection of Animals, CSPA, has already promised to send several of their patients to the zoo to become residents. As these animals were treated for injuries so long they are now relatively tame, and as such would be unlikely to survive in the wild anyway. Among with the promised shipment are five Egyptian Ibis birds, Mattikistan's national animal, are several more common animals found in the semi-tropical forests of Melkorius borough.

The Minister for Foreign Affairs is putting out a general request to the international community; anyone willing to donate animals unique to their nation, unless said donation will cause danger to their species as a whole, will be welcomed with open arms. Donating parties will be invited to the grand opening of the zoo in roughly five or six years. The zoo will cater to a large number of varying environmental requirements, be they fish, birds, reptiles or polar animals, however any specific requirements will need to be specified for their habitat to be fine-tuned appropriately.

If I have the time, and creative abilities (:p) I might make a simple floor plan of the place after a few more animals are around.

Animals Scheduled to be Housed in the International Zoo:

5 Egyptian Ibis birds -- Donated by CSPA (Mattikistan internal organisation)
50 pairs of Kamikaze Lemmings -- Donated by Psychopathic Warmonger
10 angels --Donated by Holy Paradise
Two benevolent evil monkeys -- Donated by Itinerate Tree Dweller
6 Sand Divers -- Donated by Sigma Octavus
3 High Bred Wolves -- Donated by The Shivian Imperium
5 Crocodiles (Egypt) -- Donated by Decisive Action
12 Egyptian Pheasants -- Donated by Decisive Action
5 Perfect Penguins -- Donated by The Water Cooler
20 Capitalist Cats -- Donated by The Water Cooler
100 Digging Dogs -- Donated by The Water Cooler
3.41 Hiding Hippos -- Donated by The Water Cooler
5 Zastardly Zebras -- Donated by The Water Cooler
9 Athletic Antelope -- Donated by The Water Cooler
n Tribbles -- Donated by The Water Cooler
1 zoof -- Donated by The Water Cooler
8 Egyptian Elephants -- Donated by Decisive Action
24 Egyptian gorillas -- Donated by Decisive Action
24 Western Saharan Pheasant -- Donated by Decisive Action
12 Navarrian German Shepherds -- Donated by Decisive Action
60 Tennessee "Great Gobbling" Turkey -- Donated by Decisive Action
12 Egyptian lion and tiger -- Donated by Decisive Action
80 Libyan Pheasant -- Donated by Decisive Action
7 Scandinavian Guanacos -- Donated by Ventrau
1 Tribe of Spider-Monkeys -- Donated by Tierracossa
7 Valkyrie Eagles -- Donated by Deutsch - Rheinland
2 Resiaka -- Donated by Tioszaea
2 Archery Bonus Deer -- Donated by Serpentcross

The Dictatorship of Psychopathic Warmonger admires the work of the people of Mattikistan and would like to offer 50 pairs of Kamikaze Lemmings from its owns public zoos in an attempt to improve its relationships with the international community.
Advice on how to best keep them will be submitted in receipt of confirmation.

Minister of Foreign Affairs,

The Dictatorship of Psychopathic Warmonger admires the work of the people of Mattikistan and would like to offer 50 pairs of Kamikaze Lemmings from its owns public zoos in an attempt to improve its relationships with the international community.
Advice on how to best keep them will be submitted in receipt of confirmation.

Minister of Foreign Affairs,

The Confederacy of Mattikistan gratefully accepts your generous offer; the suicidal critters shall be cared for as best as humanly possible.

"We can offer arabs, tatars, malays, mongoloids, and negroids for this zoo. You requested animals, well that is what they're considered here. How many shall we send?"

Joseph Mladic, Minister of Propaganda

"We can offer arabs, tatars, malays, mongoloids, and negroids for this zoo. You requested animals, well that is what they're considered here. How many shall we send?"

Joseph Mladic, Minister of Propaganda

I'm afraid that current social and equality laws prohibit such activities from taking place within the borders of Mattikistan. However, they can be gladly accepted as refugees; please consult the immigration department for details.

Holy Paradise will send 10 angels for your zoo. Their favorite food is any type of fruit.

The Empire of ITD is sending two benevolent evil monkeys, our nation animal. The zoo is advised to keep them seperated from the rest of the animals and to keep guards posted at their cage. They tend to make improvised weapons our of sticks and rocks. They also tend to eat small children.
-Emperor Erik Kersk

The Government of Mattikistan thanks ITD and HP for their donations. Evil monkeys that eat children... hmm. Extra bars on their cage, methinks :D.

The angels are very kind and peaceful. They also do not eat meat.

The angels are very kind and peaceful. They also do not eat meat.

Understood. These angels, can they fly?

Understood. These angels, can they fly?
yes

Just keep them away from the monkey cage, they should do fine.

yes

Very well, thank you for the information and once again for the donation.

Just keep them away from the monkey cage, they should do fine.

I think we're going to be giving the evil monkeys a fairly isolated domicile not far from the planned primate house.

Very well, thank you for the information and once again for the donation.



I think we're going to be giving the evil monkeys a fairly isolated domicile not far from the planned primate house.

Sounds fair enough. I suggest that you replace the bars every once and a while. They tend to gnaw them apart. Very strong jaw structure.

And, don't let them have anything that can be looked upon as a weapons. Nothing sharp or pointy.

Sounds fair enough. I suggest that you replace the bars every once and a while. They tend to gnaw them apart. Very strong jaw structure.

Thanks for the tip :eek:. I think we'd better give some of the zookeepers access to military-grade tranquilliser rifles, just in case.

And, don't let them have anything that can be looked upon as a weapons. Nothing sharp or pointy.

I'll instruct the keepers to be careful what they put in there.

The Confederacy of Mattikistan gratefully accepts your generous offer; the suicidal critters shall be cared for as best as humanly possible.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs,

Thank you for your response. A few points of advice must be considered though,

Firstly it is stressed that the Kamikaze Lemming is the national animal of our nation and therefore is held in the highest esteem, we need not tell you that abuse or mis-treatment of these sacred animals is considered a hostile gesture.

Secondly, on a happier note, their diet and other arrangements. They must be kept in pairs ONLY (1 male + 1 female). The species don't react well to other members of the same sex. Also they eat most meats and all vegetation types - they are not GENERALLY fussy eaters. Once bred the young may be kept with their parents regardless of sex for 9 months at which point they are considered by their parents to be a threat and must be seperated.

Thirdly, the Kamikaze Lemming must be kept away from other species of animal as its name comes from its tendency for aggression towards anything that moves.

We shall pass on your request to the other nations in our region and of course any more information you request shall be immeadiatly given.

We would like to donate six Sand Divers. These creatures live in sand but enjoy spending a large amount of their time above ground. They eat any type of meat, but don't require large amounts of how they evolved in the deserts. These creatures are unique to our nation, these will be the first to leave the nation. We wish that these animals are treated fairly and hope that these Sand Divers bring in a large amount of visitors. We wish you good luck with this Zoo.

-Sigma Octavus Foreign Relations

Ministry of Foreign Affairs,

Thank you for your response. A few points of advice must be considered though,

Firstly it is stressed that the Kamikaze Lemming is the national animal of our nation and therefore is held in the highest esteem, we need not tell you that abuse or mis-treatment of these sacred animals is considered a hostile gesture.

Secondly, on a happier note, their diet and other arrangements. They must be kept in pairs ONLY (1 male + 1 female). The species don't react well to other members of the same sex. Also they eat most meats and all vegetation types - they are not GENERALLY fussy eaters. Once bred the young may be kept with their parents regardless of sex for 9 months at which point they are considered by their parents to be a threat and must be seperated.

Thirdly, the Kamikaze Lemming must be kept away from other species of animal as its name comes from its tendency for aggression towards anything that moves.

We shall pass on your request to the other nations in our region and of course any more information you request shall be immeadiatly given.

You have our assurance that animals within Mattikistan are treated with the same level of respect as human beings, so far as practicality allows of course. And we thank you once again for your donation, and your information on how to care for them. We shall inform the building contractors so they may factor it into their plans accordingly. As with everyone else who has donated thus far, you are automatically invited to the grand opening ceremony in (at most, hopefully) six years time.

We would like to donate six Sand Divers. These creatures live in sand but enjoy spending a large amount of their time above ground. They eat any type of meat, but don't require large amounts of how they evolved in the deserts. These creatures are unique to our nation, these will be the first to leave the nation. We wish that these animals are treated fairly and hope that these Sand Divers bring in a large amount of visitors. We wish you good luck with this Zoo.

-Sigma Octavus Foreign Relations

Your donation is greatly appreciated. Thank you, for this and for the information and kind words. You have our assurance that the animals will be treated as well as humanly possible.

[I hate bumping, but it's the only way...]

[Hi, my name's Lord UPpington, I post in threads sometimes.]

The Empire will send three High bread wolves,but be it known ANY mistratment will mean we will take them back. They will be given the best care, and we will help with costs if needed.

They MUST be allowed to hunt, for otherswise they will chase the keepers, and they must have a large amount of land to go around. They should breed, and if not then we will send you some more.

Signed the Emperor Hannibal Barca, lord of the Shivian Race, people of the wovles

The Empire will send three High bread wolves,but be it known ANY mistratment will mean we will take them back. They will be given the best care, and we will help with costs if needed.

They MUST be allowed to hunt, for otherswise they will chase the keepers, and they must have a large amount of land to go around. They should breed, and if not then we will send you some more.

Signed the Emperor Hannibal Barca, lord of the Shivian Race, people of the wovles

We appreciate your support, and guarantee you that they will be treated with the utmost respect. I shall see if the builders can't create some sort of large, open pen which we could populate with standard wild herbivores from the surrounding area. Thank you again.

We shall send 4 crocodiles from Egypt, and a dozen Egyptian pheasants (a species bred on the orders of Curtis Fabus, very beautiful birds)

We shall send 4 crocodiles from Egypt, and a dozen Egyptian pheasants (a species bred on the orders of Curtis Fabus, very beautiful birds)

We are honoured by your donations, thank you. The pheasants especially will be an excellent addition. Please, consider your leaders and any diplomatic entourage they require invited to the grand opening ceremony.

Dear Sir,

It is our most esteemed pleasure to send you the following animals.

5 x Perfect Penguins
20 x Capitalist Cats
100 x Digging Dogs
3.41 x Hiding Hippos
5 x Zastardly Zebras
9 x Athletic Antelope

These animals have been designed to be far more interesting than their common relatives. They will require normal care, except for the Hiding Hippos. We recommend the zookeepers be equipped with thermal imaging in order to combat the err... invisibility of them. They don't mean it, yet, well, they are awfully self conscious, and as such they just tend to go invisible every now and again.

We would also like to ... gift you 2 tribbles. Although the amount may seem small the tribbles have a unique ... ... ... ... ... ... ... (four pages later) quality where the increase exponentially.

i.e two becomes four becomes eight becomes sixteen, etc.

As such it is advised they be given appropriate space. They are awfully cute and furry though.

We would also like to give you our latest creation, a sentient zoof. A zoof is a monkey like creature that has extreme intelligence, and other human like qualities. It is also inexplicable cute.

A booklet on their care, some 9000 pages thick, shall be attachted to the crate.

Most excitedly,
Sir Shon Badertscher,
Ministry of Fauna,
The HEWC.

Dear Sir,

It is our most esteemed pleasure to send you the following animals.

5 x Perfect Penguins
20 x Capitalist Cats
100 x Digging Dogs
3.41 x Hiding Hippos
5 x Zastardly Zebras
9 x Athletic Antelope

These animals have been designed to be far more interesting than their common relatives. They will require normal care, except for the Hiding Hippos. We recommend the zookeepers be equipped with thermal imaging in order to combat the err... invisibility of them. They don't mean it, yet, well, they are awfully self conscious, and as such they just tend to go invisible every now and again.

We would also like to ... gift you 2 tribbles. Although the amount may seem small the tribbles have a unique ... ... ... ... ... ... ... (four pages later) quality where the increase exponentially.

i.e two becomes four becomes eight becomes sixteen, etc.

As such it is advised they be given appropriate space. They are awfully cute and furry though.

We would also like to give you our latest creation, a sentient zoof. A zoof is a monkey like creature that has extreme intelligence, and other human like qualities. It is also inexplicable cute.

A booklet on their care, some 9000 pages thick, shall be attachted to the crate.

Most excitedly,
Sir Shon Badertscher,
Ministry of Fauna,
The HEWC.

We are impressed by your large donation. Thank you very much; please consider yourselves invited to the opening ceremony. I shall instruct the builders to... prepare... for the arrival of the tribbles. That could become a national disaster if not handled properly...

We are impressed by your large donation. Thank you very much; please consider yourselves invited to the opening ceremony. I shall instruct the builders to... prepare... for the arrival of the tribbles. That could become a national disaster if not handled properly...

Oh yes! Most assuredly so!

Most excitedly,
Sir Shon Badertscher,
Ministry of Fauna,
The HEWC.

The Mattikistan Commemorative International Zoological Centre is estimated to be complete in up to four years. Empty habitats shall be occupied by less unique animals until they can be released and replaced.

Current estimates are running at 4-3 years, depending on how serious the tribbles get. We're still on the lookout for unique and unusual animals to house there.

I will send the following.

8: Egyptian Elephants (former leader Curtis Fabus had elephants brought into Egypt in massive numbers)

24: Egyptian gorillas (former leader Curtis Fabus had gorillas and other primates brought into Egypt in massive numbers)

24: Western Saharan Pheasant (Specially bred on the orders of former leader Curtis Fabus)

12: Navarrian German Shepherds (Specially bred by Field Marshal Bertrand Navarre to be the most excellent guard dogs / attack dogs around)

60: Tennessee "Great Gobbling" Turkey (Specially bred as a cross between Mississippian and Tennesee turkeys)

12: Egyptian lion and tiger (formed leader Curtis Fabus had these animals brought into Egypt in massive numbers)

80: Libyan Pheasant (These were specially bred for Mississippian Libya and then all transported to Mississippian Egypt after Libya reverted back to native-arab control)

I will send the following.

8: Egyptian Elephants (former leader Curtis Fabus had elephants brought into Egypt in massive numbers)

24: Egyptian gorillas (former leader Curtis Fabus had gorillas and other primates brought into Egypt in massive numbers)

24: Western Saharan Pheasant (Specially bred on the orders of former leader Curtis Fabus)

12: Navarrian German Shepherds (Specially bred by Field Marshal Bertrand Navarre to be the most excellent guard dogs / attack dogs around)

60: Tennessee "Great Gobbling" Turkey (Specially bred as a cross between Mississippian and Tennesee turkeys)

12: Egyptian lion and tiger (formed leader Curtis Fabus had these animals brought into Egypt in massive numbers)

80: Libyan Pheasant (These were specially bred for Mississippian Libya and then all transported to Mississippian Egypt after Libya reverted back to native-arab control)

Your generosity in this matter has exceeded all expectations, we are very grateful. If it is within Confederacy capabilities and not against our policy, you need only ask; we owe you a favour.

Ventrau looks upon this effort as quite a great idea and would very much like to let Mattikistan access to any species they would feel an addition to the zoo that Ventrau can supply.

To start please accept these 7 rare Scandinavian Guanaco's, as a sign of our promise.

-Ventrau, Dictator of Ventrau

Ventrau looks upon this effort as quite a great idea and would very much like to let Mattikistan access to any species they would feel an addition to the zoo that Ventrau can supply.

To start please accept these 7 rare Scandinavian Guanaco's, as a sign of our promise.

-Ventrau, Dictator of Ventrau

We will gladly accept the guanacos, your donation is very much appreciated. Please, we would listen to any recommendations of animals unique to your nation that you feel would have a place in an international zoo.

OOC: Guanaco is a fancy name for wild llama, isn't it? :confused:

Well may I suggest my personal favorite, the Giant Badger.

They were long bred in the royal family as battle creatures but in the wild they are ten times more viscious than the domesticated Royal Badgers. The Royal ones have become docile show animals over the years.

We use the Wild Giant Badgers to test the defenses of our battle tanks. It has taken us 50 prototypes to develop a tank that could withstand the battering of a single Wild Badger for more than 5 minutes.


We will send you 10 Wild Badgers as well as a family of Royal Badgers consisting of a Female, Male and twin pups.

As well as a flock of Artic Pelicans, a clan of Grey-backed Weasels.

And perhaps we shall let you have 3 of our most prized animals, the Official Companions of the Dictator... Pups from the Red Timberwolf, native to only the forests surrounding the capital of Ventrau.



OOC: Yes it is.

Egads, I have just been through a lengthy reprimand from my ministers of finance and the enviroment. They informed me of the costs of starting an international zoo and running it for a year. I was appalled. Then they showed me the costs to feed a single Wild Badger for a year-- There was retching in the Office.

Please accept 2.3 billion dollars from Ventrau to help you with the costs of feeding my 'gifts'.

Your generosity in this matter has exceeded all expectations, we are very grateful. If it is within Confederacy capabilities and not against our policy, you need only ask; we owe you a favour.


"The day before you open to the public, I'd like you to allow a private tour for Eleanor and Paul Stahlecker, they've recently gotten married and it might be nice for them to see the zoo without crowds and such."

Curtis Fabus

In his willingness to let others experience the frivolous nature of the Principalities national animal, the spider-monkey. Prince Vayne del Tierracossa graciously sends one tribe of the little furry critters to Mattikistan. A fully interactive cd-rom will be made available on the zen-like art of spider-monkey keeping.

The Principality only wishes the return of any newborn albino spider-monkeys.

The Ministery of Information

Egads, I have just been through a lengthy reprimand from my ministers of finance and the enviroment. They informed me of the costs of starting an international zoo and running it for a year. I was appalled. Then they showed me the costs to feed a single Wild Badger for a year-- There was retching in the Office.

Please accept 2.3 billion dollars from Ventrau to help you with the costs of feeding my 'gifts'.

According to our analysts, the zoo will be able to run off its own takings once it is up and running; hopefully, between our own civilians visiting and international tourism it will get a few customers. Whatever remains shall be funded by government subsidies until they are no longer needed. However, 2.3 billion dollars is a highly generous donation that would cover a great deal of construction costs -- we must ask, if we are to accept, will this cause your national economy, or perhaps public services, any undue harm?

"The day before you open to the public, I'd like you to allow a private tour for Eleanor and Paul Stahlecker, they've recently gotten married and it might be nice for them to see the zoo without crowds and such."

Curtis Fabus

Ah, well, this should be easy to arrange. I'll inform the Representative of Helgoland of your request -- we'll need a few employees to start a day early, but this shouldn't be a problem for such high profile guests. You have my word that the Stahleckers' needs shall be tended to once they arrive. I hope they won't mind a few last-minute preparations taking place during their visit; I'm sure the work crews will try to be as stealthy as possible.

In his willingness to let others experience the frivolous nature of the Principalities national animal, the spider-monkey. Prince Vayne del Tierracossa graciously sends one tribe of the little furry critters to Mattikistan. A fully interactive cd-rom will be made available on the zen-like art of spider-monkey keeping.

The Principality only wishes the return of any newborn albino spider-monkeys.

The Ministery of Information

The Confederacy very much appreciates your interest in our project, and your generous donation. Would you be able to say how many spider-monkeys are in a tribe, so we may prepare a sufficiently sized habitat?

ICi can give you 450 male masamunes and 450 female ones fo7 7000 billion usd.
ooc they are mutant dragons.

Current estimates place completion at roughly 2-3 years. There have been no major problems in its construction so far, except for a tribble-related incident in which one man was suffocated. MattAir will begin offering package deals for anyone in the world to visit a little over a week after it is completed.

We have an... extensive genetic library, we will give it over to you on the condition that we are provided with genetic data of every species that should end up in the zoo.

This includes:

The remarkable variant of our national animal the Mountain phoenix, whos screams can stun and may kill its prey (requires sound proofed caging).

The Okyton Cloud moth, which lives most of its life as a larvae on the ground, they pupate under ground and emerge in their billions to form huge clauds of silver winged moths every ten years.

The Springy pig, thats what it is...

The Republic of Deutsch - Rhineland congratulates you on reaching the 500 Million step. We also deeply admire your plans to build an International Zoo. To strenghten the friendship of our nation and the world, we would like to contribute to your undertaking by sending you seven of the endangered unique Valkyrie Eagles, our national animal.

The Borderlands of Tioszaea would like to donate 2 animals only native to our nation and some of the surrounding area: The Resiaka, an crimson cat-like creature with very sharp claws and teeth. A small sum of five hundred thousand emeralds will be included to help for maintenence of these animals. Handle with care.

The Oppressed Peoples of Haravikkslair would like to donate 2 Evil Geniuses to the zoo.

The Holy Empire of Communists Oppressors humbly offers 2 dozen of its beloved national animal, The Sexy Beast. You must beware though, they propagate at a very rapid rate and other primates may find them desirable. Several new species have been created in this manner. Also there is a cult in my country that wants to try propagate with these creatures which would create unspeakable abominations, so you may want to post guards outside thier exhibit. Thank you, The Minister of Foreign Affairs, Mao Stalin

Here, you may have a breeding pair of archery bonus deer. Don't make any headdresses out of them or you are going to be very sorry.

Taken from The Encyclopeadia Principalita:

"...The spider-monkeys resident to the Principality are very social critters. One tribe consists of several - up to five - families. Though interbreeding amongst families is not common, it is not unheard of..."

In rough measures one family consists of anything between 10 and 25 individuals. Meaning that one tribe can be anywhere between 50 and 125 spider-monkeys.

The Principality regrets to be unable to send more specific information. Esteemed aninal lover and animal rights activist Prince Vayne del Tierracossa is quite reluctant in splitting up a tribe as that utterly disrupts their social structure.

The Ministery of Information in conjuction with The Ministery of Foreign Affairs

We thank everyone for their donations thus far.

Although the International Zoological Centre was scheduled to be opened in three days, some slight delays have been incurred. Firstly there was an accident in one area of construction, and two men are in hospital. Secondly, one of the rhinos escaped while being put into its habitat, and caused some serious damage before it could be apprehended. And lastly, one of the construction workers came in drunk one morning, and accidentally set fire to the gift shop. 5,000,000 cheap Taiwanese stuffed toys are thought to have been casualties in the 3,000 degrees inferno that ensued.

We regret that we do not have a timescale on these delays -- more information will be presented as we receive it. Donations, however, will continue to be welcome.

OOC: RL problems mean I might have some trouble doing stuff like this for a while, no longer than a few days but enough to stop me making a map of this zoo thingy or RPing an opening.

...And lastly, one of the construction workers came in drunk one morning, and accidentally set fire to the gift shop. 5,000,000 cheap Taiwanese stuffed toys are thought to have been casualties in the 3,000 degrees inferno that ensued.

We regret that we do not have a timescale on these delays -- more information will be presented as we receive it. Donations, however, will continue to be welcome.

In light of these recent events, Tioszaea would like to offer 500,000 Goodbye Kitty stuffed animals at no charge, courtesy of the Tioszaean Minister of Foreign Affairs Venexi Yaskasho. We know that this is only a tenth of the actual casualties, but we do what we can.

Bump?

The Holy Empire of Hoo Doo would wish to donate the following:

4 x Bat, 2 male and 2 female. The Bat is also our national animal, and we would take offence if we were to learn of any mistreatment of the animal and would demand that you return the Bat to its native Hoodinian forest.

4 x Feather-bellied Bat, once our scientists reach an expected breakthrough which would revive a species related to the national animal of Hoo Doo. According to research, the feather-bellied Bat has been extinct for more than a century.

4 x Batdog, it appears that the national animal, the Bat, and the common dog have started to breed. These animals now dominate the wild life preserves across Hoo Doo.

We wish you good fortune and would wish to donate $50,000,000 with the best of hope that constructoin will continue as soon as possible.

Hey, I just noticed something. Is this thread from 2004? :eek:

Yes, yes it is.
Heh, I didn't notice that.