NationStates Jolt Archive

The emperor sat at his desk with his head in his hands, reviewing the situation. The silence he was beginning to enjoy was broken as his military advisors burst into his chambers, causing the emperor to jump in his seat. "Yes, what is it?" His closest advisor bowed respectively and opened a folder that contained several documents. He shuffled through them briefly, then presented the emperor with a certain detailed message concerning the nation of Hataria.

"M'Lord, we believe that military conflict is the best route in this situation. These savages know not peace, and they deserve no mercy. We think it is in the best interests of the interstellar community that we take care of this...problem."

The emperor bit his lip ever so slightly and viewed the document. He hummed and nodded in agreement. "I believe you're right. I will order the deployment of our fleets to Hataria. Make me proud." His military cabinet bowed respectfully again and exited the room.

The ships pulled out of their docking bay, ready for the sting of combat. 2 Vengeance class Super Fortresses headed up the armada, and they were trailed by some 15 Liberator class Corvettes and roughly 10 Hellfire class supply ships. Naturally, a Merciful Angel class hospital ship accompanied them on their quest, for the war ahead was sure to be a bloody one.

Sephrioth would soon unleash it's vengeance upon Hataria.

OOC: OMG, was that a Sephrioth post?!?!

Ok, you are now unignored.

OOC AMF is helping me out.
IC hataria ill offer you one chance surrender now or i will reek vengance up on you my forces will show no mercy on you.

ooc amf is helping me out
ic hataria ill offer you one chance surrender now or i will reek vengance up on you

OOC: Check your grammar, capitalize OOC and IC and place colons after them and capitalize the first letter of each sentince. Remember punctuation and spell to the best of your ability.

Wow, keep this up and people might actually respect you...

OOC done has someone tged the addy to dope head
IC come on you coward.

done some tg the addy to dope head

Ok, though this post has really bad grammar.

Rewrite that the way you normally speak.

OOC OK I edited it

OOC AMF is helping me out.
IC hataria ill offer you one chance surrender now or i will reek vengance up on you my forces will show no mercy on you.

Ok, this hould be written as:

OOC: AMF is helping me out.

IC: Hataria, I'll offer you one chance to surrender now or I will wreak vengeance upon you. My forces will show no mercy on you.

Now, its a start, but you'll need a bit of work. My advice is to type it in Word and do a grammar check.

The ships prepared for the jump into Hatarian space. With their cabins and crews stabilized, they would soon thrust themselves into high orbit over Hartaia, and from there they would align themselves in geosynch high in the heavens.

"Alright men, war looms on the horizon. This is nothing new for you, so do this by the books and we all get to go home. Prepare yourselves for the jump, and soon after we exit the jump we will be in the thick of it. Good luck boys, make your emperor proud!"

Mere seconds after the General finished speaking, the ships fired their FTL drives and made the jump into Hatarian space. The computers scanned the ships for complications that may have arisen from the jump, but the scans turned up negative and all systems were go.

Moments after the jump the fleets reorganized and moved in formation towards Hatarian space. Their weapons and shields were fully charged and ready for the ordeal ahead, which to them would be nothing more than a cakewalk. "ETA: 30 minutes and counting till contact." Chirped the computer in a female voice.

"Alright boys, lock and load. It's showtime."

OOC: Alright Seph, now's the time you wait and allow Hataria time to respond. Basically it's taking turns. There's nothing worse than checking a thread for the first time only to see that somebody has already killed you without you being able to post.

Good luck.

Wonderful post, good grammar, detailed, well constructed. Keep it up.

OOC IM keeping my ground forces back in my solar system

ooc: Wow, Sephrioth is RPing rather well. And even his ooc posts are getting better.

Good job, keep up the good work!

OOC: Oh my dear god...AMF, you should be hailed as the mightiest healer of n00bness in this world. I CAN ACTUALLY READ THE POST; HOLY CRAP!!! *Dies of a heart attack.*

OOC lol thanks
IC come little hataria dont be afriad.

OOC: OMG....this is actually crazy....

:mp5: :sniper: :sniper: :mp5: i have been improving

TAG

OMFG, Seph, you really are good now. [Although I don't think choosing Hataria as an opponent was a good idea.]

TAG to follow the improvements.

Follow the advice AMF gave you because as you can read in the other comments, it is helping greatly.

The emperor sat at his desk with his head in his hands, reviewing the situation. The silence he was beginning to enjoy was broken as his military advisors burst into his chambers, causing the emperor to jump in his seat. "Yes, what is it?" His closest advisor bowed respectively and opened a folder that contained several documents. He shuffled through them briefly, then presented the emperor with a certain detailed message concerning the nation of Hataria.

"M'Lord, we believe that military conflict is the best route in this situation. These savages know not peace, and they deserve no mercy. We think it is in the best interests of the interstellar community that we take care of this...problem."

The emperor bit his lip ever so slightly and viewed the document. He hummed and nodded in agreement. "I believe you're right. I will order the deployment of our fleets to Hataria. Make me proud." His military cabinet bowed respectfully again and exited the room.

The ships pulled out of their docking bay, ready for the sting of combat. 2 Vengeance class Super Fortresses headed up the armada, and they were trailed by some 15 Liberator class Corvettes and roughly 10 Hellfire class supply ships. Naturally, a Merciful Angel class hospital ship accompanied them on their quest, for the war ahead was sure to be a bloody one.

Sephrioth would soon unleash it's vengeance upon Hataria.

Holy shit Sephrioth! Nice post! Not as good as me :) But still very good progress for you.

Just not as good as me :P

OOC thanks
IC CHICKENING OUT

OOC: Damn you Seph! I helped you aswell.
But anyway, nice Seph. Really good. :)
Wow, AMF isn't all that bad.

IC: An aide dressed in blue power armour and a red dress-cloak walked into Cam III throne room. This man was Dante, Lord of The Thousnad Sons. Cam III was sitting in his golden throne, immobile, the tubes going into him were pumpimg him with life fluid. This was the only thing keeping from dieing.
"My lord, Sephrioth has attacked Hataria."
Cam III's face contorted, the effort to speak was like climbing a building.
"Send a ship, keep an eye on things."
"Yes my lord." Dante walked out of the room and to his chamber.....

OOC: It's great to see that he's actually trying to get better.

OOC: Wow. Hard to believe that's the same Sephrioth that sent one of my puppets a TG saying 'fight me' just six hours ago...

OOC: Yeah, it's ammazing what you get with persaverince (SP? I know its wrong, coud someone give me the right sp?). Hah! I knew I was right. You all ignored him....:mp5: :p :D

OOC: Yeah, it's ammazing what you get with persaverince (SP? I know its wrong, coud someone give me the right sp?). Hah! I knew I was right. You all ignored him....:mp5: :p :D
OOC: Perseverance might be what you're after.

come on godmodder

Me and RB have decided to help Hataria RP better, we were going to make a thread for it, but I think we can do it in this one. Kill two birds with one stone and the like. So when Hataria does decide to respond we'll coach him and hopefully this can turn into a good RP and help out these often mis-guided nations.

-Official Ratheian Government Response-

If Sephiroth requires any assistance, we will be able to provide him with exactly 1,000 SU-47 Berkut's for Atmospheric Engaging of Hatarian Targets.

The "Berkut" is not made for interstellar combat.

I would also like to congratulate Sephiroth on his newly discovered rping skill and hope that we will have friendly relations.

-President Vladimir Zaitsev of Ratheia

OOC: Perseverance might be what you're after.

Thank you. Yes if Hataria can learn to RP better, this day will be complete...

OH DEAR GOD! THE APOCALYPSE HAS COME!

J/k :)

Never thought I'd see the day when sephrioth of all people makes a decent post.

((OOC: There's hope for my generation yet...))

This is a very shocking development.
http://www.nwas.org/committees/rs/ltng2.gif

This is a very shocking development.
http://www.nwas.org/committees/rs/ltng2.gif

What has that got to do with anything?!? :confused:

OOC: Be patient Seph, not everyone can be on the computer all the time. ;)

Sephrioth! You are now unignored.

OOC huh

Holy Fishsticks! Sephrioth actualy posted...well!!. *Un-ignores Sephrioth* Keep up the good work:)

IC: A state of emergency was declared today in Sanctaphrax as the nation Sephiroth started RPing well. Hataria is also trying to improve so Sanctaphrax suggests the following course of action:
Somebody create a puppet to RP really badly and the like to give us some entertainment.
:):):):)
Well done Seph!!

OOC:Who is this Hataria, everbody is talking about.

OOC:Who is this Hataria, everbody is talking about.
Check "Forgin Powers in Hataria" for further info.

or even better get me to find a link:)
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=351012&highlight=Forgin

or even better get me to find a link:)
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=351012&highlight=Forgin
My God..."We found the missing link!"

To: Sephiroth or "Seph Thoat" as I call him

I don't have a Space fleat, so it looks like you have to Fight a All-Tech GROUND WAR! your ships are going to be the only things you Have. I am going to fight you, and if you try to Bombard My Nation from Space (I am on Earth) I do have the right ti Ignore you, I WANT THIS TO BE A GROUND WAR!

OOC: This RP might have to wait, Communist Louisiana is threating to Shoot Down my Planes carrying Food and Meds to some people Rebeling against Said Nation.

To: Sephiroth or "Seph Thoat" as I call him

I don't have a Space fleat, so it looks like you have to Fight a All-Tech GROUND WAR! your ships are going to be the only things you Have. I am going to fight you, and if you try to Bombard My Nation from Space (I am on Earth) I do have the right ti Ignore you, I WANT THIS TO BE A GROUND WAR!
"Seph Thoat"???
Hataria we were doing well until you showed up.
That post should have been OOC:

"Seph Thoat"???
Hataria we were doing well until you showed up.
That post should have been OOC:


Sorry

OOcas if i would waste soldiers on you

In a rare move, the Jarridian Government has decided to un-ignore Sephrioth. Keep up the good work, you're going to become a productive member of NS yet. :eek: :eek: :D :D

*is yet to be dazzled by Hataria*

OOC: AMF..I could you hug..but I dun wanna get conquered.*grins* Good job.
OOC: Seph, keep up the good work!

OOC: Sorry, I been trying to stop a bunch of Dumb Nations trying to "Free" my People, aka, Trying to destroy my Economy.

ic onboard the vengance super fortresses the weapons were being at hatria for an orbital bombardment. The phasers were fired at hatarias capital citty.
OOC hataria afriad

ic onboard the vengance super fortresses the weapons were being at hatria for an orbital bombardment. The phasers were fired at hatarias capital citty.
OOC hataria afriad

In a war-NO ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT is allowed!

It is considered a type of godmodding if the enemy is unable to retaliate. Besides he has no space fleet. at most you can drop troops into his nation from space.

OOC why not
IC 20 ragin loin troop transports jumped in to hatarian space

OOC why not

OOC: First of all, learn to spell if you want at least a shard of respect.

secondly, You have to give your opponent a fair chance. unless they tell you that they don't mind WMD's in this RP, don't use them. WMD's include nukes, chemical and biological warheads, anything that can destroy somthing larger than new york, and ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT.

finally, always make sure you have a decent reason to invade, it has to be better than "I want to expand my territory." Try somthing like "Recent studies have shown that the ammount of land we have is inefficient. therefore we must sieze more land. if that means by force, then so be it." If nessecary, you can always colonise and empty space. there's an infinite number of empty spaces on NS Earth. War for territory isn't needed.

OOC why not
IC 20 ragin loin troop transports jumped in to hatarian space


OOC: YAY! I GET TO TEST OUT MY DROID ARMY!

To:Hataria
From:Sephrioth
RE: Recient negotiations

Your suggestions of our conflict being fought by a ground war does not sit
very well with me. My Tactics Advisor suggests we continue with our
bombardment to "soften you up a bit more". He also suggests you are trying
to lure my troops into some kind of trap so I have to decline your invitation
to a strict land war.

If you wish to avoid any further casualities you can either surrender or you
can crawl back under your rock and hide as I obliterate your land around you.

12 Hours after delivery, the SF (name of ship 1) and the SF (name of ship 2) launches fighters and begins bombardment.



OOC we will resort to nuclear strikes in 24 hours

IC Dream on hataria im bombarding you first the two supper fortresses begin bombarding hataria nukes.

OOC: I thought everyone said no nukes or anyother WMD?

Um yeah Seph, no nukes, and Hataria...you don't have a droid army...period.

IC: The New TA-34 Cobra Moon Star Destroyers soon Come up from The Surface and head for The enemy Fleet. Backed up by Droid Fighters.

Captain, I am picking up some kind of scan from the surface. They appear to be trying to lock onto our position. It might be a precurser to an orbital strike from some planet based weapon."

"Damn!!! I was afraid of that. Order both the SF sword and the vallor to cease firing and engage their Cloaking Devices. Hold all further hostile actions so we don't give our position away."

"Yes Sir! Message relayed."

Above the planet the sword and the vallore stopped firing upon the surface. A shimmering field surrounded both ships briefly and they faded from view as their heartles angel coacking deivice was activated.

Please take this as constructive critisism. I do not mean to flame you in any way. I am simply trying to show you some suggestions how to continue showcasing your improved posting skills you exhibited earlier.

You started out really great with your descriptions but your posts have been getting back to the old 5 to 10 word, unpunctuated posts again.

I suggest rewriting your posts (in MS Word) so they are more descriptive and entertaining or you will have all those people who posted flattering remarks about your RP skills increasing earlier in this Thread retracting their praise and putting you back on IGNORE again.

I am going to show you how you could have written your last two posts.

IC Dream on hataria im bombarding you first the two supper fortresses begin bombarding hataria nukes.


This could be:


To:Hataria
From:Sephrioth
RE: Recient negotiations

Your suggestions of our conflict being fought by a ground war does not sit
very well with me. My Tactics Advisor suggests we continue with our
bombardment to "soften you up a bit more". He also suggests you are trying
to lure my troops into some kind of trap so I have to decline your invitation
to a strict land war.

If you wish to avoid any further casualities you can either surrender or you
can crawl back under your rock and hide as I obliterate your land around you.

12 Hours after delivery, the SF (name of ship 1) and the SF (name of ship 2) launches fighters and begins bombardment.


the two super fortresses shimmered and disaperared

"Captain, I am picking up some kind of scan from the surface. They appear to be trying to lock onto our position. It might be a precurser to an orbital strike from some planet based weapon."

"Damn!!! I was afraid of that. Order both the SF (name of ship 1) and the SF (name of ship 2) to cease firing and engage their Cloaking Devices. Hold all further hostile actions so we don't give our position away."

"Yes Sir! Message relayed."

Above the planet the SF (name1) and the SF (name2) stopped firing upon the surface. A shimmering field surrounded both ships briefly and they faded from view as their (name of cloaking device) was activated.



A couple more things:

You don't have to use IC unless you have already used OOC earlier in the Post. Keep your OOC comments grouped together in one area, usually at the beginning or the very end and seperate the OCC comments and the IC comments by a double return space so it can be clearly seen they are not related to the IC comments.

If you wish you can bold the OCC and the IC to make it even more clear.

After you are done typing your post, reread it at least once to see if your ideas are clearly stated and grouped together correctly. Run the spellcheck if you are using Word and then copy/paste into the posting field and apply your bold/color/quotes/ italic/ect...

Then use the Preview Post button to check if it looks the way you want it to. After you check the last time hit Submit.

Good Luck!

OOC grrr come on hataria

OOC: all My Starfighter Builders are Union, and they work Fast

IC: 3,400 Droid Starfighters leave the surface and head for The enemy Ships (OOC: if I am Godmoding, plz tell me so) The Fighters don't have any Ploits, so no deaths.

OOC: I am Here, SEPH THROT!

OOC: all My Starfighter Builders are Union, and they work Fast

IC: 3,400 Droid Starfighters leave the surface and head for The enemy Ships (OOC: if I am Godmoding, plz tell me so) The Fighters don't have any Ploits, so no deaths.

OOC: I am Here, SEPH THROT!
What is that insult? And although I don't know much about FT 3'400 does seem like a lot of soldiers.

((Wow, Great stuff Sep'. Keep up the good work!))

What is that insult? And although I don't know much about FT 3'400 does seem like a lot of soldiers.

OOC: They are Droid Starfighters, No Ploits in them.

OOC: They are Droid Starfighters, No Ploits in them.
Like I said I have no knowledge of FT but 3'400 seems like a lot of whatever. Especially for a nation around my size.

To: Sephiroth
From: Hataria

You There? I am ready to fight let blow up our ships, Sign a Peace Treay, then go on with our lives, ok?

COME ON AND FIGHT ME!

To: Sephiroth
From: Hataria

You There? I am ready to fight let blow up our ships, Sign a Peace Treay, then go on with our lives, ok?

COME ON AND FIGHT ME!
You realise that you're arguing with yourself? Seph is OFFLINE.

You realise that you're arguing with yourself? Seph is OFFLINE.


oh......................

im sorry i am only able to be on at college

im sorry i am only able to be on at college

OOC: Hey........My sister is also in College, Missouri Southern State Unversiey.

OOC: Hey........My sister is also in College, Missouri Southern State Unversiey.
Wow really!!!
I assume there are a lot of people here who have siblings in uni or are even in uni themselves.

the strike force waited patiently waiting for the right moment to strike.

OOC: What an excellent RP...(sorry, I'm trying to get to 500 posts for a new title!)

Bump

Seph, Not too bad, it was a good idea using the Ideas other people gave you. It brought you up a couple a points in My book! Now, just try to be somewhat Creative, use tactics, I dunno if using a tacti nuke in Space is acceptable here, but it would take out most of the droid fighters quite quickly, if not disabling most of them from the EMP that followed, but you defanetly(can't spell that word for my life) would have to let one loose at max range so your own ships don't get their circuts fried unless you shut off all electrical systems. Good luck, use Microsoft word, or whatever program you usem listen to AMF and everyone else, tell a good story, and last but most importantly, have fun.