NationStates Jolt Archive

((OOC: Must... stop... bumping...))

Jack comes down stares after crying himself to sleep only to see ine lady with many guns and Sergei and Diane with a gun. He comes to the obvious conclusion launching himself at the gun lady he bites at her neck.

Bump you bastards BUMP!!!

Super Bump!!! I am just trying to keep this thead going. SUPER BUMP!!! SUPER BUMP!!!

((OOC: Great... they're offline...))
Hey buddy school SCHOOL!!! SCHOOL!!! YOU BASTARD SCHOOL.
You know you love my eccentricness.

((OOC: Gotta get this moving...))

As soon as Sergei asked that question, his phone rang. How... set up. Sergei seemed rush too. "Ah my phone is ringing, look at that. Can't talk about it in front of you, secret government things. Ah well bye!"

She escorted Anne out, slammed the door and smiled at Diane. He showed his cell phone, which means he must've put speed dial. Diane grinned back and sat on his chair. "Comfy. So this is where you sit everyday."

Sergei nodded and chuckled. "Yes, can you move?" Diane obliged, then sitting on his lap smiling. "Well I need to sit somewhere." She said. Sergei grinned but didn't say anything. "Well I hope I'm comfy." Diane nodded. "Oh you are..."

Sergei took out a piece of paper from his drawer and a pen. He started writing on it.

"Let's see..." He said. "Food will be provided from the restuarant, music will be from the best bands on the Island, invitations will be sent to all leaders and diplomats... and Rosians... clothes is mandatory, black tie... ummm am I missing anything?"

Diane nodded. "Where will it be?"

Sergei chuckled. "In front of the Villa of course!"

Diane smiled. "You'll get the best man and I'll get the brides maid. Now, lock the door and close the windows..." Sergei pressed a black button on the table and it was done. Diane grinned and they both started taking off each other's clothes... and I don't have to get into detail... because you know what happens now...

As soon as it was finished, they were on the floor covered by the rug. Sergei sighed. "Oy... you got me tired... I can't get up..."

Diane grinned. "We don't need to get up..."

Sergei chuckled and covered Diane and himself under the rug where the kissed for the rest of the day...

((OOC: Anybody can call them on the phone now >_>))

Jack dials the number and says. "Well this is a little pathetic but where are those sex clubs.

Jack dials the number and says. "Well this is a little pathetic but where are those sex clubs.

Sergei knocks the phone down by pulling the wire and picks it up. "Go straight and take the first left, now leave me alone." He hangs up and resumes to cuddling with Diane.

Diane yawned. "Who was that?" Sergei shrugged. "Just don't ask..." Diane raised her brow but obliged him.

Diane and Sergei hear a strange pounding against the door as Jack yells "Thank you."

Diane and Sergei hear a strange pounding against the door as Jack yells "Thank you."

((OOC: Oy...))

"Take it away from my office!" Sergei yelled.

"I'm not stupid I knocjed out all your guards. You jackass."

"I'm not stupid I knocjed out all your guards. You jackass."

Sergei sighed. New new guards... He thought to himself. "I don't want to hear you though! Take one of the guest rooms!"

"You're going to get a wonderful wedding gift from me. A two month honeymoon to the Paradise City in Camel Eaters. Now let me in or we'll all go do something. Please? I pushed you two together." Jack begins picking the door lock.

"You're going to get a wonderful wedding gift from me. A two month honeymoon to the Paradise City in Camel Eaters. Now let me in or we'll all go do something. Please? I pushed you two together." Jack begins picking the door lock.

"We're going to Hamptonshire for our honeymoon!" Sergei said.

Diane sighed. "He's going to get in somehow..." She covered herself more so with the rug. Sergei joined her.

Jack springs the lock and bursts inside saying "Yeah I know you're going to Hamptonshire but after that you can go to Paradise City which was designed as a Heaven on Earth deal plus you can walk around naked *winks at the Rosians* we're almost as liberal as you guys are. We also allow sex in public." He pulls an apple from his pocket and then another and hands one to each.

The couple shrugs. "Sex is meant to express love and should be a private thing, not a large public orgy, and the only reason nudism is legal is because that's how God wanted it." Sergei said. "And if it was up to me, I'd illegalize those dirty clubs..."

Diane sighed. "When are you going to leave us alone?"

"WELL DUH, sex is supposed to be private it's just that people in my country enjoy it on grass out in nature! That club did kind of suck and I will leave you alone after you get married!!!"
OOC: He still might just show up every once in a while.

Sergei sighed. "500 Roses so you can leave us alone for the rest of the day."

"Either until you're married or I find some love." Jack begins yelling at the ceiling. "Damn you God always making me push these people together. The parents of ALexander the Great that was me. Ghandi that was me. If you want your next leader of the world you can do it yourself." Jack storms out yelling and screaming about how much the Universe has screwed him.

The couple smiled at each other. "Well he's gone..." Sergei said. Diane winked and started rubbing her leg against his. "Come on, while he's away." She said. Sergei grinned. The couple yet again went under the rug and started... well ya know.

OOC: Dude you suck. My guy goes insane and all your people do is have sex.

OOC: Dude you suck. My guy goes insane and all your people do is have sex.

((OOC: They're like teenagers in love, I have to RP them like that.))

((OOC: They're like teenagers in love, I have to RP them like that.))
They're world leaders you should've RPed them with more dignity than that.

A condom falls onto Diane and Sergei out of nowhere.

They're world leaders you should've RPed them with more dignity than that.

((OOC: Diane is a world traveler. Sergei's the leader. And again, they're in love... hell what do you expect @_@ Besides, dignity is rare, only when they're protecting their honor anyway...))

The goose popped its head in through an obscure hole in the wall.

"Remember kids! STD's sting your naughty parts like bees! Practice safe sex!"

And it popped its head out again in a fluff of feathers.

OOC: Still it's always the guy who tries to help the most that gets the least repsect. Still I hope they'll come to like Jack as time progresses. IC coming soon.

((OOC: Eh... no more sex for now, just innuendos...))

Diane stood up and started picking up the scattered clothes... then she got dressed, Sergei did likewise. He sat on his chair, opening up the giant curtain that covered the giant window behind him. The road was still wrecked, Sergei was furious. He picked up his phone and dialed the Halladi Embassy.

"This is Sergei Ilyanov of the Island of Rose. I noticed the road is not fixed yet, may I ask why?"

A shout is heard from down the hall. "Cause you're a useless ungracious ass. That's why." Jack yells Diane and Sergei can obviously tell he's drunk.

A shout is heard from down the hall. "Cause you're a useless ungracious ass. That's why." Jack yells Diane and Sergei can obviously tell he's drunk.

Sergei shrugs. "Ignore that, now can you tell me why?"

"You really need someone to fix the damn road that fast. Well I gots this cousin he be a true big 'um troll he's got 'imself a work gang. If ya want I can contack 'em." He pulls out cellphone.

"You really need someone to fix the damn road that fast. Well I gots this cousin he be a true big 'um troll he's got 'imself a work gang. If ya want I can contack 'em." He pulls out cellphone.

Sergei shakes his head. "No thank you." He covers up the speaker part of the phone and looks at Jack. "I want them to learn not use live ammo in the Embassy grounds." He uncovers it and starts speaking again. "Now why didn't you repair it?"

Sergei shakes his head. "No thank you." He covers up the speaker part of the phone and looks at Jack. "I want them to learn not use live ammo in the Embassy grounds." He uncovers it and starts speaking again. "Now why didn't you repair it?"
Your loss trolls can fix 'em up real good.

(OOC: i believe we established embassies ages ago when both our nations were a lot smaller. If not then I want to establish one a few weeks ago!)

IC: A job opportunity was money and money was light to a moth for notquiteaplace citizen. Even ex military personnel. Colonel Short's ears practically pricked up from 500 metres away. THe tall athletic and still uniformed ex specialforces veteran still looked he was in the squad today despite beng 56. He could still perform combat duties if needed, but his role these days was much more of a challenge for him...

"the good relations of our nations could be bolstered by this men! Get the road fixing gear... no... dial it up.. on the phone.. yes Private, that one.. no not them.. they cost too much..."

Thirty minutes minutes later a road construction team from notquiteaplace and their equipement were parachuted/lowered from a helicopter. The helicopter sped off and left them. Work began and as true "professionals" the tea was flowing. Like true masters of the trade as soon as a passer by looked at them they were stopped snoozing, but then look again and seeminlgly weeks of work had been done.

The colonel knocked at the door or a nearby building and handed a small sheet. Instructing the butler to give it to his master. It was expensive, but the quality of the good was worth it. A high quality road that stood out from the rest due to the extra safety precautions like the foru rocket SAM site built in to defend it from ICBMs.

He wondered off wondering why Rosians had butlers. He was also confused by the fact their was a carpet being steam washed or a desk being repaired. The danish accents also puzzled him. Those Rosians were acting like puritans... He then phoned the Rosian government and told them to expect a bill for the work from their butler. The Rosians were puzzled by this but before they could question him the Colonel had begin double galzing as a large chunk of old road flew into a window. He sighed, well, hed have to deliver another and began fitting double glazing to the once beautiful embassy windows after radioing a second chopper.

Strangely said bill never arrived at any TIOR institution.

He then ran up up to the butler and gave him another bill, as large as the last one, the windows would keep biological weapons out as they were airtight...

Neither did the second bill.

(OOC: I hope your count has lots of blood left still... if he doesnt we will have medics on a hand... if he's private obviously... which of course means more bills)

(OOC: I hope everyone follows what Ive just done.... that poor count...)

Naturally congratulations were enclosed with the bill with the wedding. And a small gift for the honeymoon adressed to the master of the house with a note : to be used after the wedding....

The colonel just hoped they were into that sort of thing...they were high quality handcuffs.

"Turn that music up he commanded his troops, we need it for motivation."

The radio, playing notquiteaplace metal was tunred up so everyone could hear it. (Notquiteaplace metal is mainly nu school thrash and grindcore, with the odd sleaze rock song playing... obviously that will be playing when Count Easton gets all his gifts and bills)

(OOC: is it a nose bleed or a brain hemmorage now?)

Naturally congratulations were enclosed with the bill with the wedding. And a small gift for the honeymoon adressed to the master of the house with a note : to be used after the wedding....

The colonel just hoped they were into that sort of thing...they were high quality handcuffs.

"Turn that music up he commanded his troops, we need it for motivation."

The radio, playing notquiteaplace metal was tunred up so everyone could hear it. (Notquiteaplace metal is mainly nu school thrash and grindcore, with the odd sleaze rock song playing... obviously that will be playing when Count Easton gets all his gifts and bills)

(OOC: is it a nose bleed or a brain hemmorage now?)
Jack pulls an old grindbox and begins to play "Whiskey in the Jar" to counterbalance the pathetic thrash metal.

((OOC: Did you just charge the Hamptonian Embassy for the repairs?))

Sergei watched as the foreigners repaired the road. They were not Halladi, but he didn't know this. He was still on the phone luckily. "Nevermind, the road is fixed." He hung up.

He looked out the window with amazement. Each time, these same people walked up to the Hamptonian Embassy and handed a man in a suit a paper. Sergei was confused, but made no fuss about it. He looked over at Diane and rubbed his eyes. "Dear, I just saw something strange. I just saw an entire construction team repair the road in a few minutes. Thing is, they didn't look Halladi, and they kept going up to the Hamptonian Embassy."

Diane crossed her arms and raised a brow. "I think they got charged for this..."

Sergei pulled over some shifty eyes and did the shh sign. "Don't say anything until they notice..."

Diane grinned. "Heh, stingy bastard." Sergei chuckled. "Heh, you know me."

Sergei got off the chair and sat on the floor. Diane joined him and they just looked out the grand window as they rested on each other.

Jack sneaks up behind Sergei and whispers into his ear. "Something romantic for you and the lady?"

Jack sneaks up behind Sergei and whispers into his ear. "Something romantic for you and the lady?"

Sergei whispered back. "Some slow violin music..."

Jack plucks a violin seemingly from midair. He lifts and with the lightest touch ever known to man he plays the most romantic song he can think of. He doesn't know the proper name but he knows it's the one that brought his mother and father together. It is also the first song he learned.

Diane sighed. "What I don't get, I'm a capitalist, you're socialist, how are we going to get along?"

Sergei shrugged. "I don't know my dear, we've been doing good so far. Think of it this way, in two years I won't be President and then we can have a quiet house in the countryside to get away from it all."

Diane smiled. "Really?"

Sergei chuckled. "Yes, if not you have the right to kill me."

Diane rolled her eyes. "That's a nice guarantee."

Sergei grinned. "Fine, you divorce me." He stuck out his tounge playfully.

Diane intercepted this and kissed him, she then winked at him. Sergei chuckled. "Heh, taking any chance you can get eh?" He said.

Diane grinned. "Just shut up and enjoy the scenery."

Sergei did so and they just sat there looking out the window.

Jack slowly fades the music away as he leaves the two of them. Even if he was still sad that he had noone to love. He was good friend (he hoped) to leave them to it. He back to his room realizing he was over a billion years old and had never been in love.

UberBUMP!!!

I'm having to keep this thread afloat.

I'm having to keep this thread afloat.

((OOC: Don't bump my thread please.))

Sorry just that this is cool thread and if it goes off the main page it is almost impossible to find even using the Search this Forum thing.

I must sleep.

OOC: yes the hamptonian embassy got the bills, the broken window (and new tasteless double glazing) and the handcuffs...

Oh and theres nothing pathetic about thrash (go on listen to reign in blood by slayer and try not to be frghtenined by the robust, speed, anger and technical proficiency). As for whiskey in a jar 'tallica covered it I belive... but as it was after the cliff burton era it probably was a bit pathetic/weak.

IC: After a few minutes the colonel marched off quickly. Some of the men, no off duty began taking ioff what little clothing they had before and strolled off (nudism is also quite common in NQP) a couple however were wolf whistled at by a petite female passer by and also ran off embarassed. Spilling tea on themselves. A colourful assortment of cursing could be heard through embassy row shortly after.

(OOC: I have a feeling the count will attend the wedding in a wheelchair now and under heavy sedation)

((OOC: Bump, maybe real post coming... maybe

Count Easton, sitting at his desk, began to reflect on the past few days.

If I weren't so squeamish about blood, I'd shoot myself right now. he thought while mental images of Sergei and Diane eating while naked flashed through his mind.

He didn't notice the aide coming in.

"Ambassador."

No response.

"Sir."

Count Easton was still caught up in his mental horror show.

"Count." the aide was beginning to get impatient.

Count Easton still was not responding.

"I found twenty dollars, is it yours?" the aide says in an attempt to rouse the Ambassador.

"Twenty dollars! Yes, that's mine." Easton says while snapping back to reality.

"Here, we've been receiving these. I think you should take a look at them." the aide says while handing Easton a stack of bills.

'Alright, but where's the twenty dollars?" Easton ask with a glimmer of hope in his eye.

"Just read the papers."

Count Easton begins to read the papers; his eyes gradually grow larger and larger, his nostrils become flared, and he begins to turn red.

"THEY WANT US TO PAY FOR THIS! WHAT THE @#$*! DO THEY THINK THAT I'M HERE JUST WAITING TO $$#&^." for the next half an hour Count Easton screamed and yelled first at the aide, then at the bills, the aide again, and then he started cursing The Island of Rose. While the Ambassador's office was sound proofed, Count Easton could still be heard from the street.

The citizens heard the insane ammount of cursing from the Hamptonian Embassy... did I ever mention Rosians are patriotic? They did not do anything though... they were getting mad... and Sergei could notice this somehow. He walked over to his desk and dialed the Hamptonian Embassy.

Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

"May I speak to Count Easton?" He said.

((OOC: I think Easton needs to go back home...))

The Consul-General, Oliver Alton, answered the phone.

"Ambassador's Office, Consul-General Alton speaking." he paused to allow Sergei to respond.

"President Sergei, Count Easton isn't able to come to the phone at this time."

The Consul-General, Oliver Alton, answered the phone.

"Ambassador's Office, Consul-General Alton speaking." he paused to allow Sergei to respond.

"President Sergei, Count Easton isn't able to come to the phone at this time."

Sergei scratched the back of his neck and looked out the window as he spun his chair around.

"Is it possible to wire me to the Hamptonian Foreign Ministry?"

((OOC: Maybe I can get Easton out of TIOR :P))

Sergei scratched the back of his neck and looked out the window as he spun his chair around.

"Is it possible to wire me to the Hamptonian Foreign Ministry?"

((OOC: Maybe I can get Easton out of TIOR :P))


"Your Excellency," Consul-General Alton replied, "as a second-level ally of the Grand Duchy, you can directly contact any of Cabinet-level member of the Government."

"I also must inform you about the current condition of Count Easton.

He collapsed at his desk an hour ago from what our doctors say is a minor stroke. Until such time as Count Easton recovers or his condition deteriorates, I'll be acting as head of our diplomatic mission to The Island of Rose."

Anne-Marie rubs her neck where Jack bit it and walks out into the street. Upon hearing very loud cursing from the Hamptonian embassy she makes a mental note to herself to speak to Hamptonia about their ambassador.

OOC: Camel Eaters my weapons are concealed.

Sergei was in shock.

"My God! Tell him he has my condolances. Easton may be taken to one our Hospitals in the city. We have advance health care here, where do you think our tax dollars go?"

He chuckled.

"Also, what do the doctors say caused the stroke?"

Sergei was in shock.

"My God! Tell him he has my condolances. Easton may be taken to one our Hospitals in the city. We have advance health care here, where do you think our tax dollars go?"

He chuckled.

"Also, what do the doctors say caused the stroke?"

"Once Count Easton regains consciousness, I'll be sure to tell the Count and Countess." Alton says while having to sign several papers.

"At this time Count Easton is being treated at the Medical Station at the embassy's grounds. Should his condition deteriorate, he'll be moved to one of our hospital ships currently passing off the coast of TIOR."

Switching ears so he can write faster, Alton continues. "The doctors think that the stroke was the result of a preexisting condition and high blood pressure aggrivated by stress."

Sergei rubbed his chin.

"Hmm, call me then if anything new occurs. Thank you."

He hangs up, dialing the Foreign Ministry in Hamptonshire.

Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

"May I speak to the Foreign Minister?"

Sergei rubbed his chin.

"Hmm, call me then if anything new occurs. Thank you."

He hangs up, dialing the Foreign Ministry in Hamptonshire.

Ring...

Ring...

Ring...

"May I speak to the Foreign Minister?"

"Foreign Minister's Office, how may I help you?" a young female voice said.

"President Sergei, Senator Miller is currently on the floor of the Royal Senate. If you want I can take a message, transfer you to the Deputy Foreign Minister, or if an emergency I can patch you through to the Senator's cell phone."

Sergei paused for a minute.

"What about if the Ambassador from Hamptonshire aka Count Easton had a heart attack, would that be an emergency? If so, yes it is an emergency. If not, get me the Deputy Minister."

Sergei paused for a minute.

"What about if the Ambassador from Hamptonshire aka Count Easton had a heart attack, would that be an emergency? If so, yes it is an emergency. If not, get me the Deputy Minister."


"Your Excellency, we have been informed about the condition of Count Easton. While it is unfortunate, the Foreign Minister does not see it as an First Class event.

However, since the Senate is in a temporary recess, I can transfer your call."

--------------------------------

Senator Mel Ziller had just finised a rousing and powerful speech calling for a drastic increase in military spending. With the Senate in a one hour recess, Senator Ziller gathered with some of his close friends in the Central Atrium of the RCC.

"Bernard, you have to get me that money. Hamptonshire has grown weak, we must stand firmly against foreigners." Ziller said while in his conversation with his friend, Senator Bernard Allenby.

"If the elections go our way, they'll be a lot of change..." Allenby stops when Miller's phone rings.

Walking to a corner he answers the phone.

"This is Senator Ziller, what can I do for you?"

((OOC: How ironic...))

Sergei cleared his throat.

"Yes, this is Sergei Ilyanov, the President of the Island of Rose? Anyway, the Ambassador to my nation, Count Easton, seems to be more stressed then an Ambassador should be. I heard him cursing my nation, which I don't think is normal"

He chuckled.

"Can I make a request? I feel bad for the man, I feel like I gave him his heart attack. Can you send another Ambassador?"

"I apologize for any actions which Ambassador Easton may have made." Ziller says with a touch of irony. Damn Eastons are all weak, pathetic shells of men, and who does this Sergei thnk he is calling me while I'm at the Senate he thinks to himself.

"Until such time as Count Easton's condition changes, Consul-General Oliver Alton will be assuming the duties of Ambassador. Should Easton's condition deteriorate or should the Prime Minister and Grand Duke feel that he needs to be reassigned, a new Ambassador will be appointed.

Is there anything else I can do for you?"


OOC: What's the irony?

((OOC: Heh... I see he hates the Eastons :P))

Sergei yawned.

"No, nothing else, sorry for bothering you. Sorry if I seemed rude. Good day and... well there is one thing. I have been keeping track of NURP. Very nationalist, I hope this Hamptonshire First Policy won't alienate your allies."

((OOC: Heh... I see he hates the Eastons :P))

Sergei yawned.

"No, nothing else, sorry for bothering you. Sorry if I seemed rude. Good day and... well there is one thing. I have been keeping track of NURP. Very nationalist, I hope this Hamptonshire First Policy won't alienate your allies."

OOC: He's a leading member of the Nationalist Union Party, he hates the Eastons because they are liberal and in his opinion weak, femine, and unworthy.

IC:

"I'd like to remind you that I'm a leading member of the Nationalist Union Party. Our Hamptonshire First Policy will not alienate anyone who is a true ally of Hamptonshire, it will, however, not tolerate anyone who tries to stand in the path of the Will of the Hamptonian People." Ziller said while hiding some anger. The Senator is by and large a xenophobe and an isolationist, which made his appointment to the Foreign Ministry quite a suprise.

"Unless there is something else, I should return to my legislative duties."

Sergei shook his head, though Ziller couldn't see it.

"No, that is it. Thank you and may our relations prosper. Sorry for annoying you and good day."

He hung up looking at Diane. "Well?" Diane said.

Sergei sighed. "He's going to stay until the Duke or the Prime Minister sees him unfit to stay here." He yawned. "Even worse I think I pissed off the Foreign Minister."

Diane chuckled sitting on his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Nah..." She gave him a light kiss. "So when's the wedding?"

Sergei chuckled. "In a week. Oh this'll be grand."

Diane kissed him again. "You don't need to tell me that."

((OOC: Bimp))

((OOC: Bump for more to read if they care))

Jack was clearly hammered he slipped out a window and saw Ann-Marie walking along. He strode to catch up yelling "Sorry I bit you I wasn't sure at the time why people were showing each other their guns."

((OOC: This thread is over...))