NationStates Jolt Archive

All the Ministers of the various... Ministries were inside the Red Office, who was sitting on the big chair? The Vice President of course. He took out a laptop from under the desk. It was the Presidential Laptop for making very importante descisions. It was usually used for International declarations really. Orcha Yultanov, the Vice President, spoke.

"We... must get Sergei... a woman!"

The Ministry nodded.

"I do not care if he wants one or not, but for the past few days he's been miserable. He needs a woman, a smart decent looking woman."

The Ministry nodded, but Rosa, the Minister of Culture raised her hand.

"And what's wrong with Rosian women?" She asked.

Orcha sighed. "They're too... open. Anyway, we will use this oh my God computer of doom and get him a date. Now Alexander, you're his best friend, what does he like?"

Alexander cleared his throat. "He likes a good looking girl, breast size don't matter, smart, not shallow, lady like and slow, and... socialist of course. Oh and she must love guns and video games." He said this with his Patton like voice.

Orcha nodded and typed it up and sent it. "Perfect."

Footsteps could be heard, it was Sergei approaching.

"Run!" Orcha and the rest of the Ministry jumped out of the window, without leaving a trace, and Sergei was dumbfounded. He then began playing HALO...

The Message:

Assorted Peoples of the International Community:

Our President, Sergei Ilyanov, is a lonely man. He is 52 years old, has an average body, hair is getting a little white, he is white, 5'9, self proclaimed sexy and seeks a mature woman. The woman must be socialist or leftist, Roman Catholic, have a love for weapons and video games, intelligent, not shallow, fun to be around with, be casual, and... loving really. Color is not a factor. All those who wish to meet him may land in Rose International in the private runway. He does not know about this, so shhh. Let's make it a surprise hm?
-The Assorted Ministries of The Island of Rose

P.S. We will not send a picture in risk of getting a wrong woman. You will see him when you arrive. Also preferable if they were around his age.

Oh what will happen now...

((OOC: Basically, the Ministry wants to find Sergei a woman. I don't want this to be a normal I offer my girl thing. I want for the woman to land and go to Rose. This will be a funny RP if you're willing and anyone is invited really... and no I can't find a picture... he wears jeans and leather brown jacket with at t-shirt underneath and cowboy boots if you wanna find me one :D))

((OOC: Who doesn't want the lovely Sergei?!))

((OOC: He won't cheat on you.....))

Official Imperial Response-

Your requirements pretty much sum up the average Doomingslandian girl, and we'll send you an exceptionaly hot one to try out.(yes, all of my women are hot, muahahahahaha!)

From the Assorted Ministries-To Doomingland:

Do not send public messages! Sergei must not know, a profile will be nice
though.
-The Assorted Ministries of The Island of Rose

((OOC: Any other takers?))

I have a suitable candidate
and i will send the details to you as opposed to typing them here..

I have a suitable candidate

Bethany o'Larant

47 years old
Attractive in a homely sort of way
5,8 including her magnificent hair

A scientist in my laboratories, Beth specialised in weapons testing and virtual reality simulations. Her favourite pastime is blasting squirrels with her Rifle. Not red squirrels though, i love them like a brother.

If you find this interesting please contact me

To UE-From The Assorted Ministries of The Island of Rose:

Yes this is good. I think he will like her. Send her to Rose International, she'll
be staying at the Red Resort near the the Airbase. Sorry, but it must be of
the utmost secrecy.
-The Assorted Ministries of The Island of Rose

((OOC: Bump :())

((OOC: *mumble*))

OOC:C'mon, you don't want my chick? I'll even send you a virgin!

OOC:C'mon, you don't want my chick? I'll even send you a virgin!

((OOC: Sergei's a virgin too... he's never had a serious relationship. And I did ask for a profile...))

OOC:Bah, to lazy to make a profile, too uncreative to come up with names..,(but creative enough to execute a bunch of people with an H-bomb, hehehe)

After the Northern Plains Delegate read the message, he, the Eastern Coast, Southeast Delta, and West Woodlands Delegates all looked at their remaining member. She glared at NP and EC, who were across the table. She spoke clearly and loudly. She was very outspoken.
"You better not be thinking what I think you are thinking."
"Relationships between national leaders are common in this day and age. I've read about several recent political marriages."
"Of course, it need not go that far if need be. We just think it would improve relations."
"The fiscal and diplomatic benefits would be staggering."
"Besides, you've already been with almost all the politicians in MukOWW!!!"
"I don't see why we cannot send someone else for this."
"Because you fit the description perfectly."
"Because we know you will be earnest about it."
"Because Island of Rose would be a powerful ally."
Because you have a sweet piece of OWW!!!"
After much discussion and casual violence, Vulmen Gobbis offered to meet with a Island of Rose representative to discuss trade agreements and other matters publicly, while sending the offer privately to the Ministry.

((OOC: Heh, that's how Parliament discussions go... only with 500 more people... and assuming you sent the message... and Doomingland, make up a name! And bump! 3 People so far, two more I guess?))

Official Statment from The Proletariat Commonwealth of The Island of Rose:

We would love to open relations with Muktar.
-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Rosta Einvach

To Muktar-From The Assorted Ministries of The Island of Rose:

Excellent. Send her to Rose International, there will be of course other
women there. But this is not a political thing, we're just doing this to give
Sergei a person in his life. Damn we feel dirty...
-The Assorted Ministries of The Island of Rose

((OOC: It appears Sergei bumped into someone...))

((OOC: Bump!))

((OOC: Oh come on...))

((OOC: Anybody?))

((OOC:Bump))

((OOC: In Soviet Russia, forum bump you!))

((OOC:Bump))

((OOC: Bump :mad:))

((ooc: Bump! Bump!))

((ooc: Bump! Bump!))

^