NationStates Jolt Archive

Earlier today The President of The Democratic Republic of Beltina issued a declaration upon the The Socialist States of Sayt claiming them to be immoral and corrupt and over all not very nice. The President issued this statement moments after the declaration.

"People of Beltina we must band together and eradicate this threat and even though we have no military forces at all, we will crush these bugs like the vermin they are!"

Someone, Anyone Join This Thread! I Beg You, Plz!!!

As seen in a telegram from The Lord High Dictator of the Community of Dangerous Peoples and The Protector Of the Faith to the President of Beltina:

The Lord High Dictator of the Community of Dangerous Peoples and The Protector Of the Faith has issued a declaration of war against the The United Socialist States of Sayt and will soon be joining the fray. We look forward to fighting side by side with your peoples, comrade!

Meanwhile, in the outer reaches of Sayt:

A squirrel sits, pondering for a moment on a wooden fence. Then, it twitches, and leaps off the fence as the grassy ground begins to rumble. The rumbling grows, until it is drowned out by the roar of hundreds of engines, and all of a sudden, the fence is flattened as a wall of advancing tanks zooms past, traveling toward the shining spot on the horizon...

...the capital city of Sayt...

Perched far above the reaches of Sayt several Satellites zoomed on his capital city. The teliscopes were powerful enough to see all that happaned within the city.

"Interesting, the act as if it is simply another day. What a pity they won't be able to see another"

"Sir?"

"Once those tanks have gone through the city inform me. If you need me I'll be in my quarters."

"Yes sir"

OOC: That rationale for war sounded like it came from a three year old. "Wahhh mommy, that kid at school, he beat me up, he's not very nice!"

Is there something that Sayt did to you that would be a good reason to go to war for?

ooc: Beltina, why are you doing this? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: It's crazy.

Japanese Antarctica - No, there isn't. As far as I can tell, Sayt is his friend.

Now, back to the story:

Marcus O'Monessey, head of Kimblewimble Corporation, the nations largest weapons distribution company was getting tired of his usual test dummies. They were to expensive, and cruise missiles pulverised them first time. What he needed was a more expendable resource. At the moment he was considering people (there's always been a reasonable supply), the seemed to meet all his criteria...

...Some time later, in Kimblewimble City Cathedral...

"Your mightiness," said Marcus, "It is in the interests of your companies that you declare war on someone. Unless you can bring test dummies down in price, that is... You see, ever since you brought in that limit of two children, we really haven't been growing fast enough."
His Mightiness, K.W. Morrison, Chief Cleric of Kimblewimble, BA, BMus, Dip.Tch, B.Com, CKWE. considered this for a moment, nodded and spoke, "Very well then, it shall be done. Bring your missiles into position. We attack Beltina tomorrow, I've never like that place."

"The ruler of sayt yesterday the dictator of sayt declared that negotiations were continuing with beltina and dangerous peoples, he also asked the populace of sayt to remain calm and not to agrivate any tank rushes. the dictator stated that ' if it comes to war we will call out to our allys such as Kashic, cuteliddle-doggys and gruzhag, pray to god it doent come to that' this is kelly sanderkopf reporting from the capital city of sayt"p,dizzzzzzzz

"bloody pacifists" a dronken biker mumbles

"oy wats rong wit pasisacifisim" says his even more drunken friend

"oh shut it Bob"

OOC: That rationale for war sounded like it came from a three year old. "Wahhh mommy, that kid at school, he beat me up, he's not very nice!"

Is there something that Sayt did to you that would be a good reason to go to war for?

The title was to atract people and get them to post here. And no Sayt has done nothing to deserve this and as I have no military forces it's not like I'm going to actually attack him.

Public announcement by The Lord High Dictator of the Community of Dangerous Peoples and The Protector Of the Faith:

The nation of Kimblewimble has angered The Lord High Dictator of the Community of Dangerous Peoples and The Protector Of the Faith!! Let it be known far and wide that war has been declared on Kimblewimble.


Order by The Lord High Dictator of the Community of Dangerous Peoples and The Protector Of the Faith to his Military Control Officer:

"Deploy the second tank squad."

"People of Beltina we must band together and eradicate this threat and even though we have no military forces at all, we will crush these bugs like the vermin they are!"

No force, no worry!

SIMINCORP is willing to give Beltina a 20% discount in tank sales:

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=354946

No force, no worry!

SIMINCORP is willing to give Beltina a 20% discount in tank sales:

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=354946

The reason I have no military is because I don't want to have one. But thx for the offer anyway.

The reason I have no military is because I don't want to have one. But thx for the offer anyway.

OOC: But you don't know the benefits of having one?

http://english.pladaily.com.cn/special/guards/content/image/23.jpg

OOC: But you don't know the benefits of having one?

http://english.pladaily.com.cn/special/guards/content/image/23.jpg

I don't want a military

THAT PICTURE IS SCARY!

I don't want a military

THAT PICTURE IS SCARY!

OOC: Hail! My forces shall march across your green, sheep-farming pastures! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding.

President Geoffrey Serf sat in his comfy leather chair as he read through a stack of international issues. Suddenly he noticed one with an urgent sticker.

"What's this"? he said. Picking it up he quicly read through it.
"This is absurd! Kimblewimble is going to use my people as test dummies?!"

"Apparently so Mr President, I would suggest that we activate our orbital defenses"

"Excellent idea, but don't attack him just yet. I want to know what The Lord High Dictator of the Community of Dangerous Peoples and The Protector Of the Faith is going to do about this"

"As you wish"

President Geoffrey Serf sat in his comfy leather chair as he read through a stack of international issues. Suddenly he noticed one with an urgent sticker.

OOC: Wow! You have good spies. I never said I was going to bother to tell you I was attacking.

BIC:

Marcus O'Monessey paced quickly around his mansion. So Beltina was determined to use its orbital defences. Well, they could settle that, although he'd most likely need government permission to use the attack sattelites. Silly really, after all, he did own them, why should he not use them? Outside his window a convoy of trucks loaded with massive warheads was moving steadily along the road, guarded by heavily armed military helicopters.
Philip Wasekkin, one of his chief rivals and owner of Hrydroponic Warheads Inc. along with several upmarket restaurants came into the room. The two business tycoons were working together for this enterprise. It seemed almost necessary after the revelation that their opponents were thinking of putting up a reasonable resistance. Besides, Mr. Wasekkin owned the special Free-Trade Commandos, ruthless economists who would stop at nothing to get a deal and who could be very useful in the process of controlling the targets...

...back in Kimblewimble City cathedral...

His Mightiness K.W. Morrison was having a great time. He'd wanted to declare war on someone ever since he was a little boy, but had since realized that simply attacking them was a much more sensible option, and considerably more entertaining. True, it occasionaly annoyed the UN, but that was no big deal. He was only there for that extra little bit of power it gave him. Mmmm... power.
With most of the army positioned on the borders, he now found he had to make do with a mere thirty thousand soldiers surrounding his clerical palace, and it was making him considerably more edgy than usual. To put that differently, he was guzzling about three times as much food as he normally did. He didn't like his eating to be disturbed even under normal circumstances, so he jumped to feet and pulled an automatic shotgun out from under his clerical robes when the door opened.
It was Monessey and Wasekkin.
"What is it," His Mightiness sputtered, "What are you here for?"
"Well, Your Mightiness," answered Monessey, "We would like permission to use the attack satellites on Beltina's defence systems."
"We?" said His Mightiness, surprised, "Don't tell me that you're working together."
"We are, Your Mightiness," said Wasekkin, "It may be against our morals, but we have decided to band together to face the common business opportunity. Now can we use the satellites?"
"But of course, my dear Wasekkin," was the reply, "They belong to your business partner after all, and I am not one to challenge the ideals of capitalism."

...Up in space, an orbital rubbish collector slowly prepared to use its "highly radioactive space depris" cannon , drawing it out from within the depths of its fuselage. Around the planet, many others did the same...

The head leader of Molop has declared war on kimblewimblepuppet7 to stop the terrorising 12th world groupings with extreamly long messages that you don't want me to show you. The region guards had decided to join Molop when kimblewimble puppets cut of all communications with the region guards.

Come on everybody. Stop this mindless irrational invation of sayt and command your forces to attack Kimblewimblepuppet7 :mp5: :sniper: :mp5: :sniper:

With most of the army positioned on the borders, he now found he had to make do with a mere thirty thousand soldiers surrounding his clerical palace, and it was making him considerably more edgy than usual. To put that differently, he was guzzling about three times as much food as he normally did.

Was he eating fresh Molopian chicken?

OOC: This is turning into a n00bs' war.

Joan Hite Beltina's Minister of Defence walked over to President Geoffrey "Mr President we have a slight problem"
"What kind of problem?" he said looking up from the latest intelligence reports
"Our satellites have stopped responding"
The President went very pale "Are u seious?!"
"Very Mr Presisent, we lost contact with them just after Molop became involved"
"Where is our secret weapon now?"
"Currently it is in high orbit over BCORP"
"Damnit"

Meanwhile somewhere in the trench between Molop and Beltina:
"We have complete control over the orbital defense systems"
"Do we have the weapon?"
"Yes, should I select a target?"
"No, we shall wait and see what happans"
OOC: I prefer Intelligence Gatherer to Spy :D

OOC:

OOC: This is turning into a n00bs' war.

Yup.

Was he eating fresh Molopian chicken?

Certainly not, he's a vegetarian at the moment. It's suiting his current business interests.

Come on everybody. Stop this mindless irrational invation of sayt and command your forces to attack Kimblewimblepuppet7

Actually, it's Kimblewimble 7. And it doesn't RP, so what's the point? Oh, and neither do any others. Besides, they're going to have to work hard to attack Sayt when I'm around. Oh, and try not to double-post.

The head leader of Molop has declared war on kimblewimblepuppet7 to stop the terrorising 12th world groupings with extreamly long messages that you don't want me to show you. The region guards had decided to join Molop when kimblewimble puppets cut of all communications with the region guards.

Ever heard of a really bad title? Take a look at your one. Head Leader. That's just crazy.

BIC:

Marcus O'Monessey was taking part in a parade of the Kimblewimble armed forces. It was making him feel, for the first time in his life, small and insignificant. This was by no means a bad thing. If the might of the forces currently under his control could make even him tremble in fear, then is enemies had no hope whatsoever. Well, they weren't really enemies, more like assistants. They would, after all, be helping him to make money, which was what he wanted. At the moment, he had no enemies.
The army was not just large. It was also well-equipped. Even though selling weapons to terrorists was the main occupation of most of the weapons companies in Kimblewimble, the country always managed to secure the best. It was part of the deal. His Mightiness would, after all, make some conditions of their prosperity, though not many. It had all contributed to make Kimblewimble the economic powerhouse it was today.

...at the Kimblewimble City Wimble Health Spa...

His Mightiness K.W. Morrison looked out among the many wimbles relaxing in the spa and sighed. It had been a long time since he'd had the same kind of treatment that the wimbles were recieving. He saw a child walk into the room and pick up a wimble. It bit him, and he screamed in pain. Typical irresponsible kids. Hadn't even bothered with the fang extraction. He pulled a vial of holy water out of his coated and sprayed it over the boy.
"I'd take those fangs out, if I were you, kid," he said, then added, "Why aren't you in the army? Your Daddy buy you out?"
"Yessir," was the reply, "Mah Daddy."
"Well get lost, then."
"Yessir."
The boy ran out, clutching his wimble, and Wasekkin walked in.
"Ah, Your Mightiness," he said, "There you are."
"What is it, Wasekkin?"
"We've got a problem, Your Mightiness, Molop is trying to attack No. 7."
"But nobody even knows where 7 is, Wasekkin. Why do we need to worry."
"Well, sir it could turn out like that time with ~d, where Butcherstan did find out where it was."
"Stop worrying, Wasekkin. You're being pointlessly terrified. There are always more. Always more." ...

OOC: Has anyone else noticed that the only person attacking is Dangerous Peoples?

Actually, it's Kimblewimble 7. And it doesn't RP, so what's the point?

Don't worry. I'll RP for it. I'll even make it have nukes


Ever heard of a really bad title? Take a look at your one. Head Leader. That's just crazy.


I've changed it to Head Govenor (I hope I spelt that right)


"We've got a problem, Your Mightiness, Molop is trying to attack No. 7."
"But nobody even knows where 7 is, Wasekkin. Why do we need to worry."


Oh ho ho! Molop's people are very educated and their scientists have invented stealth tecnology which the air force used to find Kimblewimble 7 and because it's stealth technology, nobody in kimblewimble 7 knew that there was a plane flying over them

What does OOC and BIC mean

OOC:

I've changed it to Head Govenor (I hope I spelt that right)

No. There's an "r" after the "e". So: governor.

What does OOC and BIC mean

Well, it's no use knowing them if you can't phrase that question in a grammatically correct way ("What do 'OOC' and 'BIC' mean?") but anyway, "OOC" is "Out of Character" and "BIC" is "Back in Character". So when I'm correcting your grammar with words I'm OOC but when His Mightiness K.W. Morrison is doing it with a KWC96 assault rifle I'm BIC.

Now, a short post, BIC:

The free-trade commandos had reached the border of Beltina, completely undetected. This was quite surprising, as their attack hovercraft was both big and noisy. One of them spotted a man digging in his garden next to the border and was about to shoot when the leader pushed his gun away.
"I'll settle this," he said, walking up to the man,
"Are you interested in any shares in my company? 'S called Hogosock Inc. To you, just two Laws each."
The man considered this for a bit, then said, "Yup, I'll take 400 please."
They exchanged documents and walked back to their respective occupations. The commando leader grinned and took a mobile phone from one of his subordinates. He punched in a number.
"Geoff?" he said, "That you? Good. Sell all my shares in Hogosock Inc. One twofiftieth of a kimble each. Yes. I'm trying to bankrupt someone. Yes. Yes. Bye!"
A short while later there was a groan from the Beltinian man...

OOC:

Yup.

OOC: Another Kiwi?

OOC: Beltina is by Molop and they are sorrounded by ocean so u could attack us with naval units. Also there is a trench between Beltina and Molop ( We're on two seperate islands)

BIC: Somewhere in the trench
A young woman hesitantly approached her commander "Gustov the satellites have detected several hovercraft land on Beltinian shores"
"Use the weapon to wipe them out" he replied
"We can't there appears to be a fail-safe program which prevents it from firing on Beltina or Molop" she said while facing the back of her commander
"What about the other satellites?" he said turning around
"As far as I can tell no such program exists within their systems"
"Then use them instead" he went back to staring out at the dark waters surrounding the base.
"You heard The Commander, open fire upon those hovercrafts" she said to the surrounding bridge crew

High above five satellites revealed their deadly payloads. They fired soundlessly. A volley of missiles (not nuclear of course), they quickly entered the atmosphere homing in on their targets.

OOC: Another Kiwi?

I think all those who have posted except you and Japanese whatever are from New Zealand.

High General Masic Calin, commander of all of Molop’s military, was feeling confident about the invasion of Kimblewimble7. Once all his troops were equipt with S.DA guns and dissolver armor they could begin.
S.DA guns were designed to stun for 12 hours and disarm enemy soldiers instead of killing them. They fired stun darts and a pellet that, on impact, made atoms within a 4 feet radius lose bond with each other, making objects turn into dust. For some reason that Masic didn't know, the pellet didn't do anything to anything organic. Dissolver armour was made out of a thick material called myloester and contained many little pouches filled with a liquid like hydrochloric acid but dissolved things faster. The liquids purpose was to dissolve any bullet that pierced the myloester.
Only Molop's scientists would have the knowledge and the funding to invent such things. Masic didn't think that these was necessary for his troops to have but the Molopian Government didn't want to create hundreds of morning widows in Kimblewimble 7.
Although Molop hadn't started, the Region Guard forces had begun to invade Kimblewimble7 so he wasn't surprised when someone came to him and said "A messenger from the Region Guards would like to speak with you sir."
“Bring him in"
The messenger came in and before Masic could say anything to him, he sat down and begun talking.
“General Masic, I have come to report to you about the Region Guards capture of a kimblewimbleian7 weapons base. In the base, R.G forces found nuclear missiles powerful enough to destroy cities.”
“$h|+!”
“The President-General Treegar Haypy of the Region Guards has decided to stop our invasion because if we continue to invade Kimblewimble7 we risk one of our cities being leveled by these nukes. But this is not the only reason why he decided to stop the invasion. On the nuclear missiles was a gold sticker with ‘MADE IN MOLOP’ written on it. The President-General Treegar Haypy doesn't like the idea of fighting with a country that is stupid enough to sell nukes to someone that is likely to use the nukes against them.”
The messenger left soon after telling him that. ‘What is the Molopian government going to think when they hear this’ he thought.

The next day, the senate was noisy with debate. “We must stop this invasion. We’ll be radioactive mulch if we don’t”
“How about we nuke them first”
“We didn’t like having nukes so we sold them all”
“Dam! How about we use what we got in the S.DA guns in a bomb and use it on one of their cities. The Kimblewimbleian7 civilians wont die. They’ll just be naked and homeless.”
“That's is a bad idea. If there is nukes in or near a city we might bomb, uranium and plutonium will go every where, turning people into radiation infested zombies. We don’t want that happening.”
“Well, if we do continue this invasion of Kimblewimble7, one day we might see a nuke coming towards us and we wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.”
“If that happens we could fire rockets at the nuke.”
“That’s a great idea. Continue the invasion and if a nuke comes towards us, blow it up before it blows us up. Lets build these anti-nuke missiles now.”
“Instead of building these costly missiles, we should ask Beltina if we could use their orbital defense satellites.”
“I’ll go contact them now.”
“Also, contact Treegar Haypy and tell him that we’ve got a solution to the nuke problem”

Garlel Mossih, secretary of Angus Jong Il, Head Governor of Molop, decided to send e-mails to the Beltinian Government and Treegar Haypy. On the e-mail was a message that stood out from the others. It was from the Beltinian Government with the title URGENT. He opened it. This is what was written:

‘Terrorists have taken control of our defense satellites and are holding the whole of
Cutelittle Doggys ransom’
Then it went on about what their demands were and how long they had to meet them. Garlel was more interested in Molop’s affairs than other countries problems so his first thought was ‘that's Molop’s anti-nuke plan out the window.’
He then sent an e-mail to Treegar Haypy and got a reply saying ‘We will still not invade with you because as the messenger said, another reason why we stopped the invasion is because we’ll be fighting with a country that is stupid enough to sell nukes to someone that is likely to use the nukes against them.’

I think all those who have posted except you are from New Zealand.

OOC: Don't be so sure.

OOC: Sino, I'm a Kiwi

The government and people of this great nation strongly urge the government of Dangerous Peoples, and any other belligerent nation to please cease and desist there attacks upon Sayt. This war is frivolous and has no factual information backing its declaration. Please, for the good of your people, your nations, and your future, end this war now.

If you refuse our polite request for you to stand down, we shall have to take further action against you. Thank you for your time.

-President Jarrod Branam

OOC: Sino, I'm a Kiwi

OOC: Bah! There goes my nationality revealed.

The ambassador looked out over the water far below her as her jet headed towards Sayt airspace.
"What a mess, but hopefully it'll soon be coming to an end"
A flight attendant walked up to the ambassador "Madam Ambassador we will be approaching Sayt airspace any moment now, so with luck, we will land in a few hours"
"Good, then we can get this war over with and go home"

OOC: Sayt sorry about not talking to you about this before but I REALLY don't want Jarridia attacking me (Dangerous Peoples perhaps you'd better arrive in Sayt with an ambassador as well)

The 21st of September, 2004 was the beginning of a technological disaster. From 24hr 0001 every phone in 12th World Groupings was disabled and when picked up, they would go bla bla bla bla constantly. The only thing displayed on computers in 12th World Groupings was bla bla bla bla and the only keyboard keys that would work were the keys labeled B, L and A. When radios were turned on, all that could be heard was bla bla bla bla. T.Vs only displayed the word bla. Anything that used electricity or radio waves ether didn’t work or displayed and said the word bla.
People had no way of communicating long distances and were cold, hungry and bored. They wanted to know who caused this and wanted justice to be served to them.
There was some thing strange about it. When tourists, who were in Beltina when this began, came home and found out about this, they said that in Beltina none of the electronics or the radios etc were effected by it. Suspicion that Beltina caused this disaster came into peoples minds. People with a know about radio waves found out that the bla bla bla bla was being transmitted in a wave type that was unique to Beltinian radio stations. It was obvious that Beltina was to blame.

After allot of messengers did allot of long journeys, a meeting between the Head Governor of Molop, Angus Jong Il and the President-General of The Region Guards, Treegar Haypy was arranged.
“We should take revenge on Beltina for ruining our peoples lives. Also we should avenge them for starting the mean and reasonless invasion of Sayt” said Treegar Haypy.
“No.” said Angus Jong Il “In Molop, our courts are run with the philosophy ‘punishments are to stop crimes from happening again, not to deal revenge’. We should destroy their radio towers and any other things including satellites that they might be using to meddle with our electronics and radios etc.”
“I still think revenge should be given to them. So, even without your army to help them, my forces will launch a full scale invasion on Beltina.”
“But your struggling economy can’t afford to move and feed your army. I’ll give you fuel and other supplies you need to use your planes to bomb Beltina’s radio towers while Molop’s missile silos will send missiles at their satellites destroying them.”
“Fine, that’s what I’ll do but still, if I could, I’ll crush the evil bastards.”
When the meeting ended Angus thought ‘If we’re going to destroy all of Beltina’s satellites including their orbital defense ones, I should stop the invasion of Kimblewimble 7 because then we’ll be venerable to their nukes. It was a pointless invasion anyway.’

OOC: I might of made a mistake about technology

Molop, you must fail to realize the seriousness of the Jarridian government. This war will end now, and all belligerence will stop. If you make another attack upon Beltina, I will personally see to it that you have no power to wage war in the future. Do not underestimate the Jarridian might! STAND DOWN NOW!

-President Jarrod Branam

The 21st of September, 2004 was the beginning of a technological disaster. From 24hr 0001 every phone in 12th World Groupings was disabled and when picked up, they would go bla bla bla bla constantly. The only thing displayed on computers in 12th World Groupings was bla bla bla bla and the only keyboard keys that would work were the keys labeled B, L and A. When radios were turned on, all that could be heard was bla bla bla bla. T.Vs only displayed the word bla. Anything that used electricity or radio waves ether didn’t work or displayed and said the word bla.
People had no way of communicating long distances and were cold, hungry and bored. They wanted to know who caused this and wanted justice to be served to them.
There was some thing strange about it. When tourists, who were in Beltina when this began, came home and found out about this, they said that in Beltina none of the electronics or the radios etc were effected by it. Suspicion that Beltina caused this disaster came into peoples minds. People with a know about radio waves found out that the bla bla bla bla was being transmitted in a wave type that was unique to Beltinian radio stations. It was obvious that Beltina was to blame.

After allot of messengers did allot of long journeys, a meeting between the Head Governor of Molop, Angus Jong Il and the President-General of The Region Guards, Treegar Haypy was arranged.
“We should take revenge on Beltina for ruining our peoples lives. Also we should avenge them for starting the mean and reasonless invasion of Sayt” said Treegar Haypy.
“No.” said Angus Jong Il “In Molop, our courts are run with the philosophy ‘punishments are to stop crimes from happening again, not to deal revenge’. We should destroy their radio towers and any other things including satellites that they might be using to meddle with our electronics and radios etc.”
“I still think revenge should be given to them. So, even without your army to help them, my forces will launch a full scale invasion on Beltina.”
“But your struggling economy can’t afford to move and feed your army. I’ll give you fuel and other supplies you need to use your planes to bomb Beltina’s radio towers while Molop’s missile silos will send missiles at their satellites destroying them.”
“Fine, that’s what I’ll do but still, if I could, I’ll crush the evil bastards.”
When the meeting ended Angus thought ‘If we’re going to destroy all of Beltina’s satellites including their orbital defense ones, I should stop the invasion of Kimblewimble 7 because then we’ll be venerable to their nukes. It was a pointless invasion anyway.’

OOC: I might of made a mistake about technology

OOC: What is with this post? What gives you the right to dictate what happans in my country? I can't say a bomb in your country blew up and took out 3 blocks etc. Or are you saying that Molopian agents infiltrated my country and took over my radio stations? In which case it would be your fault not mine. On another note I would like to say that post made me laugh. :D

OOC: This thread is getting really lame. I just wanted to anoy sad Beltina who started this thread just to get some kicks out of picking on sayt.

Meanwhile, on Beltinian childrens T.V...Lets sing the blabla song with Barney. Come on it's easy to sing cos it's tune is the same as jingle bells...Bla bla blaaaa bla bla blaaaa blabla blaaaa blabla blablablaablblblablablaablbl bla bla blaaaa bla bla

OK. I've been away in Aussie for a few days. Now can someone tell me what's going on?