NationStates Jolt Archive


An investigation of gophers in Camel Eaters...

Demonic Gophers
14-09-2004, 23:48
In a small garden in the city of Tantilla, the ground moved. A small section of dirt was pushed up, and gophers began emerging. Rocket launchers were handed out, and the first three took up guard positions. The next two began enlarging the opening; the six and seventh to emerge grew to near-human size after leaving the tunnel. The first of them, General Alys, was dressed in a camouflage uniform; she was armed a saber, a long, curve-bladed dagger, and two dart guns. The other, wearing black pants and jacket and a white shirt, was Marik, one of the highest ranking diplomats among the Demonic Gophers; he had an uncanny gift for languages.

As more D.G. soldiers emerged, Alys peered about at the devestated city.
"Wow, they weren't kidding about that terrorist problem. Do you know if they're sending anyone to meet us?"
"I'm not sure." Marik replied. "It would be useful, but we know what we're here to look into. We might as well get started."

The soldiers began some quick fortifications around the entrance, and carefully brought three Very Small Tanks up out of the tunnel, while keeping a careful eye out for any sign of life.
Camel Eaters
16-09-2004, 02:06
A small brown skinned man with blue eyes and desert blonde hair emereged from behind an abandoned car. Seeing who they were he rapidly approached bowing low to show respect to the gophers. "My name if Fargrave al Shalyl Hannigan. I'm here to help you investigate the crazed gophers that have attacked my country in the past. I wish you could have arrived at a better time. Random acts of violence have swept our country ever since a few months ago. I am one of the only surviving Tantillic priests. So if you should need assistance." He beckoned behind him where more than 80 or so large heavily tattooed men and women appeared seeminly out of nowhere. They all smiled at the priest who they seemed to revere like a small child reveres her father. All of their teeth were sharpened to an immeasurably sharp point. Just as quickly each drew a knife in unison and then sheathed it again without even looking away from the priest. "As I was saying if you should need help we" He gestures at the assembled mass. "Will be more than willing to help."

OOC: They are called Tantillic Death Dancers.
Demonic Gophers
16-09-2004, 04:31
Marik bowed low to the priest.
"I sorrow for the suffering that has been inflicted on your people. If you will lead us to the area where gopher attacks have been most common, we shall see what we can do to stop at least that element of your troubles. I wish there was more we could do to help..."
Camel Eaters
16-09-2004, 14:31
FArgrave leads the gophers to the other side of the city. "When they told me I was to meet Demonic Gophers I thougth you merely worshipped gophers I did not realize that you actually were." The priest points to a large hole in the ground at least eighteen feet wide. "That is where they live. You may go first if you want or one of us will." He gestured behind him and all eighty of the Death Dancers step forward craving the honor of serving the priest. "They are loyal almost to a fault." He turns and whispers to Marik in the gopher tongue. "Tantilla is the goddess of insanity, death, and hope."
Demonic Gophers
20-09-2004, 18:15
OOC: Sorry about the delay; I've been rather busy recently.

IC: "Yes, we are rather unusual... We have never encountered another group of our kind, and are used to coming as a surprise to those we meet. Thank you for leading us here. We shall go first; feel free to follow or remain at the surface, as you wish."

General Alys drew her saber with her right paw and a dart gun with her left, and the two advanced into the tunnel. Ten D.G. soldiers followed, carrying an assortment of dart guns and rocket launchers, and a V.S.T. moved into the tunnel beside them.
Camel Eaters
25-09-2004, 06:20
OOC: I've been busy as well.

"Do not be surprised if we are not surprised. Our country is filled with *interesting* species other than humans. I will leave the Death-Dancers with you as I speak with the corpses of those who died hear. Learning the strategies of these other Demonic Gophers." Fargrave departs quickly running and jumping over debris. Each of the Death-Dancers seems to sink a little into the ground as they fade into the exact same color as the sandy dirt beneath their feet.

OOC: The more advanced worshippers of Tantilla learn many ruses and tricks so as not to be killed during the wild hunts and temple outbursts.
Demonic Gophers
28-09-2004, 11:48
OOC: Homework... Grr!
The D.G. forces have started advancing into the tunnel; what do they encounter?
Nice force, by the way. I'm impressed!
Camel Eaters
28-09-2004, 22:41
One of the D.G.s had gone to far ahead of the others the packed in sand in front of him shifted as he heard a guttural rumbling. He was blown back as three huge ravenous gophers burst through the side of the tunnel.
OOC: Thanks for the compliment.
Yevon of Spira
28-09-2004, 22:43
OOC: Hey Camel Eaters, are you going to investigate that object on the sea floor
Camel Eaters
28-09-2004, 22:45
Sure I just had to go last time and couldn't fing the thread again.
Yevon of Spira
28-09-2004, 22:49
Sure I just had to go last time and couldn't fing the thread again.

ok i'll bump it
Demonic Gophers
29-09-2004, 08:13
One of the D.G.s had gone to far ahead of the others the packed in sand in front of him shifted as he heard a guttural rumbling. He was blown back as three huge ravenous gophers burst through the side of the tunnel.

The D.G. soldier yelped and fled back toward the others. Alys stepped forward, her weapons at the ready, while Marik called out (in gopher) "Stop! We wish to speak with you."
OOC: How big is huge- Large dog? Human? Bear?
Camel Eaters
29-09-2004, 22:03
7 ft. long 3 1/2 ft. at the shoulder.
The many Death Dancers were walking after where the gophers had dug. They heard signs of fight and began running up front. Their weapons drawn they ran up to Marik and asked. "Wha'e izzy you'em need usa fors?" translated "What do you need us to do?"
Camel Eaters
11-10-2004, 03:24
Dude BUMP
Ferret Lands
11-10-2004, 04:58
encrypted comminique'

To: Demonic Gophers
From: Ferret Lands
Re: The dorks in CE and other places
Date: umm, haven't had one in about 36 hours

Sirs:
As a cousin species, we have information and technology to share with you. For example, have you tried the mining a dog turd on a gopher hole? You wouldn't believe how many humans try to clean up such nastiness in their yard only to have their hands burned. We also have an advantage in that rats are scared shitless of our army and we can drive hundreds, if not dozens of them, out of our territory. Ever see "Willard" Lets make the humans bow before all rodents!!!! Haaaaa-Haaaaaaaaaaaa-::cough-choke-cough::
Demonic Gophers
11-10-2004, 05:53
OOC: Sorry, I've been very busy... Gah! I hate essays! However, I need to know how the attacking gophers respond to the "Stop!" order.

IC:
Encrypted response:
To: Ferret Lands
From: Demonic Gophers
Greetings! It's always nice to hear from another nation of small, cute, and fuzzies. Would you like to join the Rodent Alliance?
-Zeek, High Lord of the Tunnels, Supreme Leader of the Demonic Gopher Army
OOC: Joining the region is not required to join the alliance, though all members are certainly welcome there.
Ferret Lands
12-10-2004, 00:41
OOC: Sorry, I've been very busy... Gah! I hate essays! However, I need to know how the attacking gophers respond to the "Stop!" order.

IC:
Encrypted response:
To: Ferret Lands
From: Demonic Gophers
Greetings! It's always nice to hear from another nation of small, cute, and fuzzies. Would you like to join the Rodent Alliance?
-Zeek, High Lord of the Tunnels, Supreme Leader of the Demonic Gopher Army
OOC: Joining the region is not required to join the alliance, though all members are certainly welcome there.

encrypted reply to your response
We would be happy to join the rodent alliance. Attached is a photo of me (on the left) along with a trusted aid out on a recent scouting expedition so you can see who we are. Tell where your region is and we'd probably be willing to join it as well. Isn't the green gun Kewl? It holds 30 rounds and fires them in 5 round auto bursts.

Sincerely,
Der Ferret
Zeig Hole

http://img78.exs.cx/img78/8259/naziferrets.jpg
Camel Eaters
12-10-2004, 14:12
DORKS!!! WE WILL SO KICK YOUR LITTLE FERRET ARSES!!! Although we like ferrets and they are usually held in high regard we see no reason that something that is so easily crushed should be making such horrible remarks.
Ferret Lands
13-10-2004, 04:03
DORKS!!! WE WILL SO KICK YOUR LITTLE FERRET ARSES!!! Although we like ferrets and they are usually held in high regard we see no reason that something that is so easily crushed should be making such horrible remarks.

We take offense, we have made no terrible remarks to you oh large consumers of dromaderies. We have merely requested the gophers whom you seem to hold in some esteem if we might become their friends and join them in the quest for furry, rodent dominance. Certainly as small as we are, our nation poses no threat to you. If you insist on attempting to crush us though we will be forced to fart in your general direction.
Camel Eaters
13-10-2004, 04:44
The gophers stopped and stared in bewilderment. The largest one turned towards Marik and said. "You speak as we do? Umm. You're the first ones we've ever encountered who speak as we do."

Ferrets I love you guys.
Demonic Gophers
13-10-2004, 05:07
"We have never met another group that used our language before either, but I hoped you would understand. Greetings! My name is Marik."
The diplomat bowed to the one that had spoken.

Alys spoke quietly to the Death Dancers: "I think we've got the situation under control, for now. They seem to be willing to talk."
Kay Son
13-10-2004, 05:35
tag for later reading
Camel Eaters
13-10-2004, 06:01
A tiny Demonic Gopher stepped forward. Pushing the three giant gophers aside. "Well my boys are an energetic lot. They were so young when I found the nest." The gopher raised his paw in greeting.
Demonic Gophers
14-10-2004, 05:39
Marik shifted back to his usual size, and raised his paw to greet the other. "Energetic indeed. You heard the beginning?"
Camel Eaters
14-10-2004, 15:40
"Did I hear the beginning? No. I was hear from the beginning though. They grow so big. Those humans just need to leave us alone. By the way my name is Afon. I've been here for so long." The old gopher shook his head. "But you're here now." He grinned showing huge teeth. Then he saw the Death Dancers and he scowled which turned into a mask of rage. "You associate with humans!!! We should kill you for that." The three huge gophers stepped forward their teeth bared and growling.
Demonic Gophers
15-10-2004, 08:25
Marik folded his arms.
"If we did not, we would not know of your existance. You say the humans should leave you alone? I'm hoping to arrange that, but it will never happen if you refuse all peaceful contact with them."
Following the diplomat's lead, the D.G. soldiers remained still.
Camel Eaters
15-10-2004, 15:03
Afon stamped on the ground many more gophers climbed up from around them. "Humans have hurt us. Humans made us and they hurt us." He bristled.
Demonic Gophers
19-10-2004, 23:28
"I can certainly understand your anger, but do not let it interfere with what is best for you. There is no way our kind can defeat all humans; there are simply too many of them. We can struggle forever, or we can try to make peace. Who was it that made you? How did this conflict begin?"
OOC: I hate essays... No class today, though.
Camel Eaters
19-10-2004, 23:35
A crazed human wizard made us. When we tried to expand he destroyed 90% of our population we led a strike force and defeated him. Then we found we needed land so we attacked a village a few years ago. The humans there were caught by surprise and we ate them. We've been living there for awhile then we spread towards Tantilla the ground was good and soft as soon as we offered friendship the humans killed the entire diplomatic force and so we've warred with them for many years.
Demonic Gophers
19-10-2004, 23:48
"Perhaps they heard about your attack on that first village; it is understandable why they might not trust you. Still, I think there is a chance to end this war. Will you consider negotiating now?"
Camel Eaters
19-10-2004, 23:51
What sort of negotiations?

Several holes began appearing in the sand as more gophers pushed their way in.
Demonic Gophers
21-10-2004, 17:38
"A mutual cessation of hostilities would be a good start; once that's arranged, we can go on from there."
Camel Eaters
21-10-2004, 22:03
Afon held up his hand and said "Where would we go to do such a thing?"
Demonic Gophers
01-11-2004, 23:11
"A good question... Is there any neutral ground you would consider acceptable?"
Camel Eaters
02-11-2004, 00:33
"Neutral ground. There is no such thing. We will do it in Tantilla." Afon walked forward.
Demonic Gophers
02-11-2004, 20:08
"So be it."
Turning to the Death Dancers, he told them "They have agreed to negotiate in Tantilla. I will translate."
Camel Eaters
02-11-2004, 23:27
The Death Dancers bowed and began the walk back to their original homes.

OOC: Every Tantillic Death Dancer in history has been from Tantilla. These guys are all that remain of the oldest tradition in my nation.
Demonic Gophers
02-11-2004, 23:38
OOC: Nice to know. Traditions are always interesting. It's still basically your move, I think, since both parties involved in the negotiations are your characters. Mine are just here to help, and to try to keep things peaceful.
Camel Eaters
02-11-2004, 23:43
Afon strode before the Great Temple. The Death Dancers bowed before the effigy of Tantilla the goddess of insanity, hope, and war.
Afon turned briskly and asked the DGs how they should start.
Demonic Gophers
08-11-2004, 23:56
"Both parties should select a representative. I assume you will be representing your people..."
To the Death Dancers, Marik said, "Who will be representing you in these negotiations?"