NationStates Jolt Archive

COMPLETELY REVISED AND UPDATED:

You know you're a Sinoese when...

...you feel naked out off your uniform.

...you find it utterly annoying that you're watching the nightly 'Military Report' on TV and your spouse asks for sex.

...you address any male stranger older than you as "Sir" or "Master".

...you have dreams about mowing down Japs with a heavy MG.

…you can’t pass a day without seeing someone in khaki.

…you can’t sleep at night worrying about if your country will survive to face the new dawn.

…you like to watch executions or corporal punishment, public or broadcasted.

…you’ve been told to stand and you immediately shoot up to attention, waiting for “at ease”.

…your weekends are often spent with the Reservists or National Militia.

...you vividly remember the first time you went shooting.

...you worry about any upcoming crisis, whether economic, fossile fuel or diplomatic.

...your favorite social activity is participating in an ultranationalist rally.

...you create a mental picture of an enemy country, you imagine Sinoese troops roaming around it destroying and killing everything!

...your favorite board game (besides Chinese chess) is the kriegspiel.

...you play kriegspiel with your friends and family.

http://www.rearguard.org.uk/krgspl01.jpg

...you can memorize all the propaganda slogan banners in your city.

...you look at a picture of the Hammer and Sickle and you think that commies use the hammer for striking their testis after they've shaved it, using the sickle.

...someone in you family (at least one) is in active service.

...after hearing about the rumors of Gen. Liu's (your leader) sniping, you want to be a sniper, just like him.

http://www.warlink.com/news/UploadFiles/200312995049494.jpg

...you anticipate National Day more than Chinese New Year.

...you learnt the phonetic alphabet in English class.

...your son's favorite toy is a scaled model of weapon systems of the ARSCF (Armed Republic of Sino Combined Forces).

http://www.sinodefence.com/army/artillery/mlrs/ws1_6.jpg

...you prefer Chinese tea to any of that soft drink soda crap!

...you can write a list of equally nasty generalizations of the White man after you've been angered his racist comments.

...you name your favorite car as this:

http://www.sinodefence.com/army/transport/eq2050_3.jpg

...you participate in endless debate about which is the better MBT, Type 98G or M1A2?

...you laugh at White people for being lazy.

...you enjoy your 50-hour work week as you don't want your nation to die or lag behind industrially or economically.

...your first marching steps are equally a milestone as your first words or your first walk.

...even if you are blind, you can still run to your nearest airraid bunker in satisfactory time.

...your right arm gets tired from saluting flags and superiors too much.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/565000/images/_566074_soldiersflag150.jpg

...you may not be able to name your favorite color, but you're sure as hell be able to name your favorite BDU pattern:

http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/ground/images/bdustp1.jpg

...as a male, you are confused that 'tampions' are part of feminine hygene.

...the human race is classified as Homo Sapien, you think your race is Homo Sinoian.

...you think the reason why they named it Hurricane Ivan is because it came and swept away everything in the Carribean, just like the Reds and their trophy brigades (known to you as 'Ivans') in WWII Europe.

...your telephone conversations are short, as you follow military radio procedures.

...as a soldier, you play 'strip poker' with your comrades. (To see who's first to shed all their webbing and equipment and get down to their BDUs).



That's all for now, I'll add more.

Please follow on from my example but spoof about your NS country. LOL

BUMP

Don't stop the laughter!

You Know your Xiannese when..

You visit the park for taichi or qigong
You have a dislike for SInoese
You adress the elders as sirs and teacher
You carry a tote bag
You seem to be in a hurry
You can run in your high heels or platforms
You like the colors Red Yellow, Blue, and WHite.
You dream that you had just killed the Bonstockian Leader.

Sorry, these suck, I will re-post, I am sleepy.

There is no need to bump 1 minute later.

You know your a Sigman when.....

.....you look at people oddly when they ask you why you wear very baggy clothing.

.....you haven't seen rain your entire life except for in pictures and on TV.

.....you look at someone NOT carrying a sword as a wierdo.

.....goggles and head wraps are part of your everyday outfit.

.....you lose track of a highway under a sand dune.

.....you find the color black to be perfect for any temperature, because your clothes don't hold heat.

.....you are drafted into the army at 16 and let out at 22

More for the laughter:

You know you're a Sinoese when...

…you can’t pass a day without seeing someone in khaki.

…you can’t sleep at night worrying about if your country will survive to face the new dawn.

…you like to watch executions or corporal punishment, public or broadcasted.

…you’ve been told to stand and you immediately shoot up to attention, waiting for “at ease”.

Bump

You know you should be killed if you willingly live where i do

You know you're Ermorian when...

... You're undead.

... You have died at least once. Look for reason above.

... You hate the living.

... You want to kill the living and bring them back as undead.

... You can't die again when in Ermorian dominion, and can actually walk/hover/whatever there. Immortal "living" excluded.

... You still have your mind mostly intact and remember seeing at least one of the realms of the dead. Soulless, longdead and the like are excluded, due to being mindless and stupid.

... You think that being forced back into the realms of the dead isn't that bad.

... You know that the only reason you're not decomposing is the damn cold. Ethereal and some other beings excluded.

I'll have to note that this was an OOC post!

Bump
OOC: Which part of There is no need to bump 1 minute later. do you not understand?

BUMP

OOC: Which part of do you not understand?

OOC: It felt like more than a minute.

You know you're Blargistanian when. . ..

you love and accept everyone, but hate them for their capitalism

you think private industy is a board game

you think designer handbags are funny

you poke fashion designers to find out if they're actually human

you think and M16 is a drink

you think that anything having to do with business is funny

More for the laughter:

You know you're a Sinoese when...

…your weekends are often spent with the Reservists or National Militia.

...you vividly remember the first time you went shooting.

...you worry about any upcoming crisis, whether economic, fossile fuel or diplomatic.

...your favorite social activity is participating in an ultranationalist rally.

You know you're a Kisogan when you're a pretty cool dude. And that's all I have to say about that.

You know your Nycton when....

...your confused when someone mentions the word "Voting"
...you laugh when someone mentions a m1a2 abrams or a older tank
...you have never touched a gun, but your given one when your country is invaded
...The word "government" cannot be said with any insult without fear of a squad of a para military government agency busting through your door

Bump

You know you are Vilitan when...

...You Always Root for Starblaydia...Unless you are playing them, then they are your ultimate arch rivals
...You write more about nothing than you ever could about something
...You fall in love with a girl named Martina
...You can think of 9,091,074,861,124,981 more creative ways to bump a topic than a Sinoese person
...Your best answer to the previous statement is non-existant, as the topic doesn't need bumping every 5 minutes!!!!!!

You know you're a Hamptonian when...

...someone asks you to "give me five" and you start calculating interest rates.

...you're shocked to learn that there's actually a Federal Government.

...you have to present fifteen different forms of identification just to vote.

...small nations ask you for a business loan.

...going to the beach involves seven different layers of clothing, roughly a pound of sunscreen, and a large tent.

If you can synchronise every elaborate and acrobatic move that you make with all of your fifteen thousand classmates...

If you're hungrier than a fast-food addict in a French-nationalist farming community...

If your granddad's in the United Workers' Militia, your sister's in the Working Womens' Home Brigade, your little brother's in the Kuro Student Defence League, and you're in a tunnel...

If you can turn the radio down but not off...

If you know the words to Reunification Rainbow and One Billion Human Bombs For Comrade Hotan...

If you understand the difference between Suloist and Kurosite...

If you've got a little badge proclaiming it to the world...

If you believe that questions are a burden for others...

If you've only ever seen a white person nailed to a cross or running away from you...

If you believe it is better to be hated than scorned by ants...

If the fastest you've travelled is down-hill on a bicycle...

If the Central Directorature damn well says so...

...you just might be Drapoel.

You know you're Sinoese when...

... You're incapable of writing more than one paragraph.

... You like big pictures. Which is understandable, after all, you can't read.

... You prefer a gun to a woman.

... You're incapable of doing basic maths, e.g. Interpreting the numbers on a clock.

Moral of the story: Don't send your children to a military academy.

You know you're a Rotovian if...

You are so Liberal that the American Democrats would reject you.

...the round red nose isn't fake.

...your shoe size is 30+, but your feet are size 8.

...the local weapon shop boosts of serving 31 flavors (of pie).

...speech is something foreigners do with their mouths.

...Grandpa's funeral has been held 8 times in the past month, and he isn't undead.

...you're a bodybuilder, and you work out using helium to inflate your muscles.

You know you're a Hamptonian when...

...the only left-wing organization you know of is associated with an airplane mechanic's organization.

...your idea of Government welfare is getting your yearly Christmas Card from the Grand Duke.

you might just be a carlemnarian if

you get insecure in cities if you can't see a monorail or
trolly track from where you are

your household pet is some small wild creature that you
found sneaking in to look for something to eat or get out
of the weather

all your neighbors pets are just as exotic as your own

you've never seen pavement wider then someplace for two
people to walk

your garden tractor is programed by your thoughts

it can use its hydraulic arms to which impliments are
attatched otherwise to climb over obsticals

your house has bedroom/den combinations and a kitchen/dining area
but the garden is the closest thing you have to a living room

your idea of a party is people of common interests getting togather to enjoy and engauge in them

your idea of a family is people with common interests shairing a house and each other's bedrooms

not all of them are of the same species

work means getting on your village or neighborhood's localnet and seeing who needs what done that you know how
to do and going there and doing it or going down to your
local craftufacturing center or your own shopspace if you
have one and making three of something, one for yourself,
one for someone you know, and one to donate to the mathom house

there is always something to eat and someplace to stay without having to know anybody

more then half the people you know have lived completely by thimselves as long as you've known them

can't immagine why anyone would want to own a car or live in a city but live less then a half mile from a transit stop

if you want to go somewhere you walk half a mile through forrests and gardens and get on a very small train of some kind

if you're going further then the nearest village you ride the little train to where you can get on a bigger one

you've never heard of anyone killing anyone but know how to defend yourself with a sonic screwdriver if you ever have to

if you live more then a half mile from some kind of little train you ride your robotic garden tractor to get there

you've never seen a form of communication that you couldn't interact with and can't immagine why anyone would want one

you've been elected to some sort of council without ever campaigning or getting involved in politics

your walls don't always have cealings and your roofs don't always have walls

you think the most important aspect of a constructed space is the part of it that transitions between inside and outside

don't associate nudity with sex and think nothing of seeing people wearing whatever and however much or little they
feel comfortable in any place or circumstance, whether on
the train, in an office building or at a public meeting

dont' own anything you don't consider either a tool or a means of creative expression and can't immagine why anyone
would want to

determine a being's degree of sentience by its degree of creativity, reguardless of species, including your own

reguard a landscape as incomplete without some evidence of tecnology

reguard tecnology as incomplete without some evidence of wild nature

reguard the members of other species as neither more nor less dangerous then members of your own

get nervious when everything is too familiar

feel perfectly at home where everything is totaly strainge

=^^=
.../\...

You know your from Taiwan when...

...you consider a sports bra 'slutty'
...you think grass is man-made
...you think seawater is flammable
...you think China is a democracy
...you think the Dalai Lama is a terrorist

You know you're Blargistanian when. . ..

you love and accept everyone, but hate them for their capitalism

you think private industy is a board game

you think designer handbags are funny

you poke fashion designers to find out if they're actually human

you think and M16 is a drink

you think that anything having to do with business is funny

So you think that private industry is a game, my dear anticapitalist friend?

Well, Private industry actually is a game! (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=332467) And quite a fun game too.

You kow you're Marimaian when...

....you call equestrian sports "Horsie-Dealies"
....at least one of your family members has a crush on the Premier
....you've actually told people to "Have A Suuny Day!"
....either you or someone you know has punched a tourist for talking about the 'good of democracy'
....you live your life however you want, because the government told you to
....you've demanded special treatment when abroad because you're a superior specimen of humanity
....you cuddle your Chiisu Suun plushie before you go to bed at night
....a mini-rave breaks out every time they play the national anthem

You know you're a legless pirate when...
- you don't have your natural legs (wood optional)
- you still have to swab the deck in a circle around you
- the parrot on your shoulder can't shut up
- you walked down the plank on your hands

You're a Benderite when...

...01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100100 01110010 01101001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110011 01110100 01100001 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101001 01110110 01100101...

...01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110000 01100101 01110100 00100000 01110000 01100101 01100101 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01110011...

...01101011 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01110011 00100001...

Hahahah... cracks me up every time.

You know your're a Schultarian when...

...you stop to fill up your car and stick the nozzle in your mouth for a free shot of "the good stuff".

...your idea of a bar fight is a six hour long debate at the local courthouse.

...you call a city like New York or Tokyo a township.

(OOC: Yep, thats bender. Drinking and hating humans. Kill all humans!)

... all the sexually repressed ultra right-wing "Christian" fascist fundamentalists in NS call you an anti-God rat-worshipping blaspheming heathen sodomite, and all the anti-God rat-worshipping blaspheming heathen sodomites call you a sexually repressed ultra right-wing Christian fascist fundamentalist.

... you keep having to tell various airline pilots and ship captains that the're in New Nicaea, not Bangkok, and that Thailand is that way.

... you prefer a girl in a sari to one in a two-piece swimsuit.

... you vote for political candidates in elections, then criticize every single action they do.

... after Mass, you ask the priest to bless your rifle.

... you can't believe any self-respection city, town or village would lack a Forum (the central square in any Syskeyian city/town/village, which contains the main church (or cathedral), plus the most important government administrative buildings, among other structures)

... your favorite shows are Chip N' Dale's Rescue Rangers, Bigtopians Say the Dardnest Things, and a cheap anime rip-off where purple-haired martial arts people save the world from market-worshipping Dutch tyrants and evil Reich fascists.

... you still think the Syskeyian government should sue the US (or whatever's left of it) for ripping off the whole federalism thing.

... you think that Knootian and Angstian history books are full of shlock (but you shouldn't make a big deal out of it, really)

... your favorite computer game is Combat Mission: Amerigo.

if the first time you had sex you were less then 12 years old

it was in church

and your parents applauded

you just might be a carlemnarian

if your first name was generated by rolling 8-sided dice

and your second name is the town you were born or grew up in

(and that was also generated by rolling 8-sided dice)

and your third name is a color

and your forth name is a kind of terrain

and your fifth name is one of the four, five, twelve or 16 elements

you just might be a carlemnarian

if the entire roof of your house is completely covered with
photovoltaic cells

as is the roof of your neighbor's house

as is every that of every structure you've ever seen

you just might be carlemnarian

if you don't know which of your 'uncles' is your physical father

and it doesn't matter because every one of them helped raise you

and were always there for you when you were growing up

you just might be carlemnarian.

if you can fill page after page of what it is like to live in carlemnaria

you just might be carlemnarian.

if you left home when you graduated lower school at age 12

with the love and blessings of your many mothers and fathers

as did everyone you know

you just might be carlemnarian

if none of the energy used to propell anything is generated by burning anything

you just might be carlemnarian

if your invissable friends are just as real as your aunts and unkles

and they all aggree that they are

you just might be carlemnarian

if the belt you wear is a high tec device that makes it easier to communicate telepathicly with machines

AND your front door is a bead curtain or an old blanket

you just might be carlemnarian

if wind farm tecnician
and speaker to vapour dragons
are both common 'job descriptions'
you just might be carlemnarian

if your recipies commonly include ingredients gathered in the wild, grown in your own garden and surplus from the public ones, all in the same meal,
you just might be carlemnarian

if you eat meat but only once or twice a week
and you hunted and butchered it yourself
you just might be carlemnarian

if contraceptive means an implant renewed for free every six months from the time your body develops sexual appatite
until it is surgicly altered to bear or cause to be born no more children after one or two
you just might be carlemnarian

if the wealthiest person you know is also the most generous person you know
and or the most creative person you know
BECAUSE they are the most creative and or generous person you know
you just might be carlemnarian

if you feel sorry for people live under capitol based economics and think of them as primative and perhapse slightly retarded you just might be carlemnarian

if the first day of every month is a holliday and falls in the middle of what resaults in being a three day weekend

your month is only three weeks long
your week is a total of six days long
and neither are related to lunar cycles
which you celibrate seperately
in a sacred grove
you just might be carlemnarian

if no legislation ever becomes law without a the aproval
of the entire community to which it applies
and not just some body of elected representatives.

if your church is a library
or a 'gazibo' out in the woods
and does not name or define a god or gods
and may or may not have religeous leaders
and most or all of them are women
and you feel closest to whatever god or goddessess there
might be when you are alone by yourself out in the forrest
somewhere

you just might be carlemnarian

if no one is considered to be moraly responsible unless they
make the avoidance of causing harm their first and highest priority

you just might be carlemnarian

if your lawful adult name is not the one you were given by your parents

you just might be carlemnarian

if you don't trace linieage at all
but recon kinship by shaired interests and perspectives

you just might be carlemnarian

=^^=
.../\...

You know you're a member of the 13 Clans of High Orcs when:

--You fluently speak half a dozen langauges, and can read four different alphabets, but people still think you're stupid when they first see you.

--You find that a ponytail isn't at all a threat to masculinity, and orange is a great color for hair.

--When a tree falls down in the woods and no one's around, you try not to get in the way of the Druids when they find out.

--Cooking your food is optional. Killing it is mandatory.

--Though everyone around you is firing off guns, you still believe that a sword is a better instrument of death, no matter how many bullet wounds you have on your chest.

--You know that a cloudy day means some bad news is about to come your way.

--You find yourself mixing up the bits of Orcish you've learned with Gobbley, and making a dialect almost incomprehensible to others.

--You think Elves are the ugliest creatures, next to the Old Ones, due to their twisted souls, lust for manipulation, and front of false purity, but maybe that's just the centuries of slavery making you biased.

--Brushing your teeth costs you a fortune in broken toothbrushes, and flossing is impossible.

--You believe that the Trolls from Angband, while possessing intelligence barely over an animal level, would make excellant mounts.

--Every time you bite your tongue, you need it sewn back on

--Arm Wrestling is a Mating Ritual (but throwing the fight isn't)

--When listening to music, you wonder why stringed instruments are needed at all. After all, there's nothing that percussion can't cover.

--When visiting other nations, you are astounded that they seem to be in a shortage of parchment due to all their citizens bartering with paper for goods.

--You don't know what Socialism is, but Karl Marx would most likely be a friend of your society.

--The Biggest decision of the day is whether to take your Battle-Axe or your Claymore when heading to work.

lol. tag for later.

You might be Rejistani if...

...you are a fan of "Your team" (no matter if you are male or female)
...you ever left work or called in sick to watch said team
...you can tell the names of all 72 first-league clubs by heart
...and you think 72 teams are a good number for the H1SR
...a match of the Orange-Blues is a reason for work to end
...you can pronounce Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru, but shorten Syku Lyku to SyLy (or SyMji)
...you can explain the offside rule
...you think 14.4kB/s would be a good speed for internet-connections - if that slani Konihekta JSK would allow it in your region
...4 MHz is fast for a computer, since it is a multiprocessor system
...you either live in the middle of nowhere or in a gigantic city
...and living in the capital city counts as "living in the middle of nowhere"
...you think ten forms of comparism in rejistanian is a bad idea because it is unable to express subtle differences
...the ~ and ' keys on your keyboard are unreadable due to constant usage
...so is the '0' key because you keep quoting Karela Lines scores
...you either love the tactics of Karela lines or hate them, no inbetween
...you think nonetheless Karela lines play good football
...you buy Vitamin C tablets from the pharmacists so they are portable for you
...you think Vitamin C is caffeine
...you wait impatiently until the world cup will be in Rejistania again
...you don't think it is strange that men cry - at least if there is a real reason for it like a 0:5 trashing
...you earn a four-digit wage - hourly ($1 = 1100 lil'kansu'ny)
...you are glad to be from nanti simu/ligat/kansu
...you are no communist, but are strictly against too much/any private enterprise
...you go to the temple at least every week
...you are really superstitous if the number 17 is concerned

Girls:

You know you're East Islandian when

you wear a pareu (wraparound dress) to school
you think grass skirts and coconut bikinis are perfect beach wear
you wear a pineapple on your head
you can paddle faster than most boys in an outrigger canoe
you skinny dip
you can beat the hell out of rapists
you know at least three martial arts and four different languages
you're dark
paparazzi barrage you, and not just cause you're a government official
you paddle into typhoons for fun
you join the military but you still stay fresh and clean-shaven, even during firefights
you're sexier than all the other girls


Guys:

You know you're East Islandian when

girls bitch at you and all you do is laugh at them cause they're girls
you swim in whirlpools cause you're bored
you like to snare animals in traps as your source of food
you're a pimp, and you're dressed in tropical tshirts, purple shorts, a coconut shell for a hat, and a hot pink outrigger canoe instead of a car
you like to put facepaint on, jump into the woods, and leap out and scare other guys (girls will beat you up cause they think you're a rapist)
you know two different martial arts and three languages
you think George W. Bush has the IQ of a palm tree
you lust after most of hte East Islandian diplomatic corps

You know you're Progressan if...

...you ever invented a sport
...and tried to play it
...at the national demonstration event held every year
...you've ever seen this event
...you think that most sports stadia outside Kaze Progressa are too small
...you think that most sports stadia INSIDE Kaze Progressa are too small
...you decry generic and/or copied-from-IRL stadia
...you ever tried to design a stadium yourself
...you think any major railway terminus built on one level is too small
...you ever destroyed a petrol-powered vehicle
...and recycled the parts
...for use in construction of a stadium

You know you're a Carainian ...
you are trained from birth to be a killing machine
you think the dictator is great
you speak Carainian and nothing else
you actually think dictatorships are cool

You know you're Lydanian...

...when your business suit /is/ casual wear - at home.
...when, outside your own home, faux-fur boas or faux-leather bracelets are high-fashion - because nudity is compulsory.
...when you care more about the civil rights of other groups than your own.
...if voting is almost more fun than sex. Almost.
...if the idea of playing a sport where you can actually break a bone revolts you.
...if you loathe the idea of your government /not/ controlling a business.
...if your idea of a celebrity isn't someone like Clay Aiken, or Paris Hilton, but your nation's environmental or financial minister.
...if you never have to lock your doors, carry personal protection, or make use of any other form of crime prevention, because the sheer idea of crime doesn't make any sense.
...if your IQ and EQ are both over 150.

*snerks*

In wartime, you find yourself voting for something every other day

when you send your eight-year old to buy the lottery for you

when your company has a bong right next to the coffee machine

when the emperor casually drops by for a friendly visit.

When you find yourself threatning your neighbour with a biochemical strike if his dog doesnt shut up.

When you find out soemone doesnt vote, and you cant process the fact ( despite the fact that voting is voluntary)

when kids are not reprimanded for insulting each other's mothers, but are punished for conservative comments

When you know every christian, jew, and muslim in your city. They are a nice family of four.

You know you're a Capitailzt when...

...you have a 4-digit hourly wage in simoleons (1 simoleon = $2.0351)
...you want a raise
...you know people that make less than 0.01 simoleons annually
...you agree with this practice
...you have a bank account with over 1 million simoleons
...you've used this money to buy more cars and invest in new soccer stadia
...you've demanded that the bank let you withdraw the money right now, in gold
...someone offers to give you a piece of gum, and you tell them to wait while you call your lawyer
...you think that the Aeropag Tribune should launch a pre-emptive strike against the PariMedia headquarters
...you know that PariMedia has enough firepower to crush any opposition
...you think they'll order more weapons to stop the threat of the Aeropag Tribune, and start an arms manufacturing company

You know you're a Capitailzt when...

...you have a 4-digit hourly wage in simoleons (1 simoleon = $2.0351)
...you want a raise
...you know people that make less than 0.01 simoleons annually
...you agree with this practice
...you have a bank account with over 1 million simoleons
...you've used this money to buy more cars and invest in new soccer stadia
...you've demanded that the bank let you withdraw the money right now, in gold
...someone offers to give you a piece of gum, and you tell them to wait while you call your lawyer
...you think that the Aeropag Tribune should launch a pre-emptive strike against the PariMedia headquarters
...you know that PariMedia has enough firepower to crush any opposition
...you think they'll order more weapons to stop the threat of the Aeropag Tribune, and start an arms manufacturing company

alas, a sad country, it is.

Good Food isn't a luxury, it's a way of life
NO ONE cooks better than your mom
You consider youself a devout Catholic, but you haven't been to church since you were a kid, and dont plan on returning until your atleast 50
You have never met anyone with blond hair
You are deepy offended when someone pronounces it Matza-rella
There are only 5 car companies that matter: Fiat, Ferrari, Lamborghini, and Al'Auto.
You are a lover not a fighter, yet you keep your grandfather's lupara very well maintained
There is no such thing as non-designer clothes
You have sun-lines where you wear your gold chain.
You know it exists, but to you racism is even rarer than blond hair.
More to come later...

You know you're a Rosian if:

You have at least 5 Assualt Rifles
Nudity does not arouse you at all
You can talk about streaking with a straight face
You are not a virgin
You like fencing
You like fencing with real swords
You like fencing with real swords and no protection
You are a Catholic
You like big butts! [Heh that's for Letila ;)]
You get confused when people don't know you are 1337
You think Capatilism is funny
You make fun of other nations in public
You seem to love Sergei as President
Your President is the only virgin in the entire Empire
You hate wearing suits

More to folllow....

You might be Mirrunese if:

You own a Spacecraft but not a house.
You think racisim is worse than devil-worship.
Your country has Royal Houses, but is a Democracy.
You vote through a internet terminal.
One of your parents is from another country.
You own at least five guns.

You know you're clonetopian when:

- You obey the emperor unquestioningly
- Your children are raised by the army
- You have had an identification chip implanted in your head from birth

You know your a Lumpananian when...
If a foriegner asks you for directions smile and tell them how to get to the nearest trash heap without them knowing,
Mocking somone is an art form,
You go to the bathroom seven times a day just to get out of doing work,
The person next to you on the bus is carrying three dead chickens, one of which is in her mouth,
Women (or men if you swing that way) seem to enjoy being in bed with you more then people of other countries,
Your version of crime is if somone routes for the wrong Soccer team,
Your drunk,
But not by national standards,
On your morning comute to work somone's horse drawn buggy crashes into the street and all the cars are backed up for three hours becuase of it,
Your morning comunte is on the bus because some foreign numbskull makes all the cars you can by, and you couldnt afford one anyways,
The army is still promising to mail you a uniform one day,
The words politcal convention, and 5,000 person all night party mean the same thing,
Your dream is to get old enough to retire and be paid by the goverment for nothing,
The person living next to you might be a member of the secret police,
But you've had sex with them so you think your safe,
Your favorite book is a magazine,
You think you remember thier being another candidate for presidency once, but he's probally in prison now,
News reporters ocasionally strip while boardcasting,
You hear a gun shot in the distance and your first reaction is "That'll show whoever to mess with that guy they messed with,"
The mob is paid by the goverment for work, but you'll never mention it outloud,
Your other person living next to you wants thier pants back,
You think the rest of the world sucks,
You get in aurguments at bars over which national poet is da bomb,
You go to the hospital sometimes for check up just cause, "its free"

You know you're LRR..er...ish when:

-You take a rowboat to your neighbor's house

-You feel strange when it isn't raining or foggy

-You never go through a day without spending several hours on the online tabs archive

-You own a boat-tractor, but not a car

-Your librairy takes up most of your house

-You find centralized political systems odd


You know you are an LRR soldier when:

-You have rowed a tank

-Your squad carries a boat but not tents

-You can fix your vehicle but not your assault rifle

-You repeat river crossings in your sleep

You know you're Rosewegian if...
...you don't wear mittens when math is involved
...you feel that you must bow down and swear fealty to anyone that does not look like he's your racial type
...you've ever ran away from a draft card to your local police (Officer! Someone wants me to kill people!)
...a pet monkey runs for public office and gains more than seventy percent of the vote
...a gray parrot runs for office and gains more than eighty percent of the vote
...an artificial QBASIC personality runs for office and gains more than ninety percent of the vote
...a Cub Scout runs for office...
...and wins a hundred and five percent of the vote.

You know you're a Noirian if/when:

...you think (too much) democracy is the source of all evil.

...you buy DVDs and don't even bother to watch them.

...you buy a new car rather than a house.

...you have given up locking your doors at night because you know that "they" can still get in.

...your car is loaded up with the latest gadgets and bullet proof glass and several inches of armor.

...you think everything not -Noir- should be shot.

...you like wearing a uniform.

...it is normal for you to hear that another junior high class has been slaughtered in the Battle Royale.

...you have gotten used to your neighbors and friends disappearing in the night.

...you think most foreigners are weird and should be shot.

...the only way to visit places outside the country is to join the military.

...almost all of the items you own and buy are made by Vector Industries.

...it is normal for you to send your children to school to the colonies in the morning and have them back for dinner by 8 o'clock.

...you know several languages and know that you might have to use them when you get drafted.

...you know that it's not air you are breathing.

...it is normal for you to have 3 cars and drive only 1 and know that you will never us the other two.

...you think foreigners should be shot.

...you can shoot a bulls-eye with your custom made M4 at 300 yards without going prone.

...the only foreigners you see are either on business trips or picking up your garbage on Monday mornings.

...you can take a "bus" to the colonies in low -Noir- orbit for 5 Zenny.

...it is normal for you to see school girls with short skirts.

...you know dodgeball is a national sport.

...you compare guns with your friends.

...you can site any passage from Sun Tzu's Art of War.



OOC: cant think of anymore...

You know your Xiannese if

If you dislike foreigners
If you own a Pekinese
If you drive in a CHina made BMW or Benz
If you drive in a CHinese made SUV
If you own a gun made in Sino
If you flew in a Taiwanese made plane
If you have family members in SIno or Taiwan
If you can't stand people wearing khaki
If you have an internal hatred for Japanese
If you love rallying in nationalistic parades.
If your occupation is in the "Government Category"
If you wear either 1900's clothing, or the most latest fashion.

You know if you’re a Vrakian when...

-you have an odd last name like Hagwonak, Iruk, or anything else made up on the fly.
-you have a hankering for clams and other seafood.
-you insult people by using words such as “pakrah”.
-you bring a gas mask to the opera.
-you like sumo style wrestling.
-you cry when you hear Vrakian opera.
-you are loud, obnoxious, and consume vast amounts of alcohol. Preferably during sensitive diplomatic negotiations when the chance for saying or misinterpreting a word is high.
-you think the best time to make friends is when you are drunk, and think others are wimps for not agreeing with you in that regard.

Only applies to the walrus population:

-you think you are anorexic at one metric ton.
-you like to sleep on large, flat rocks.
-you can barely squeeze into a regular limousine.
-you are logical, bureaucratic, stifling, and annoying.

You know you're a Weyrean when:

-You own six types of weapons and are more proficient with them than a veteran soldier.

-315 kelvin is a reasonable temperature

-Your thermometer uses kelvin, your grocery scale can measure to the second decimal place, and your car only shows your acceleration.

-You own a hoverbike, but not a house.

-You pay more money per month for a tenth-story studio walkup than another nation's average family pays per year for their private house.

-You have a High King in a democratic system.

-You vote, shop, and chat with friends via a semi-sentient, ambient network.

-Your neighbor is a troll, your organic vendor is a dark elf, your mechanic is a half-gnome/half-dwarf, your local City Watch opffcier is a groll, your mailperson is a sprite, your news anchorman is a pictsie, your supermarket cashier is a human, and the psychotic granny across the street was born in the other corner of the galaxy.

-You can hack into a bank's nanite security system, but have no idea how to fix a bike.


You know you are in the Star Ocean Guard when:

-Up and down have no meaning

-Straight, angular corridors make you break out in hives

-Traveling beneath the speed of light is too slow

-You know exactly how many rivets hold together a Shadow-class ship's interior.

You know you're a Callisdrunian when...

-Someone makes a comment about you having an "axe to grind" and you either say "why yes, I do," or "actually, I just sharpened it yesterday"

-You think that more than two days of temperatures over 65 qualifies as a "heat wave."

-You spend hours on your vacation to a foreign country gazing at the sun through your sunglasses because you "don't get to see it that often" at home.

-Someone mistakes you for a vampire, unless of course you actually are a vampire, which might be the case if you're a Callisdrunian

-You are filled with homicidal rage just from hearing the name "Altar Rang"

-You think having more than twelve piercings is "normal"

You know you're a Roycelandian When:

... You say "About Time, Too!" when the Government turns another third-world country into a Colony.

... You have at least one Lee-Enfield Mk III or Jungle Carbine in your house.

... You still refer to Lusaka as "Roycelandian South-East Africa".

... You've never understood why everyone else's militaries wear Camouflage, what with the Redcoat and Pith Helmet ensuring zero friendly fire casualties.

... You've exercised your Constitutional Right to "Blackjack and Hookers".

... You'd rather travel overseas in a Sunderland Flying Boat than a 747-400

... You've ever armed or financed a Revolution in a small country with an unpronounceable name.

... Even though you're on the Unemployment Benefit, you can still afford a house, Luxury Car, and two overseas holidays per year.

... Whenever anything bad happens, you blame "Communists".

... You've ever fought a Duel over a Restaurant Bill.

... You know someone who's been arrested by the Stupidity Gestapo.

... If you're Female, you've declared yourself a Lesbian and/or acted in a Porno Film to get the massive tax breaks involved.

... You think "Strap-On Schoolgirls Volume 4" is acceptable Sunday Evening Family Viewing on TV.

... You've shot an Elephant, Tiger, Lion, Leopard, or Cheetah in Roycelandian East Africa.

... You're amazed to discover the Internet has other uses besides E-mail, Porn, and downloading Music and Movies.

... You consider "Being Sporting" the key to International Diplomacy.

... You've ever taken a Lewis Gun hunting.

More to come!

You know you're a Christoniacan when:

You have strapped 398 kilograms of claymore to a stray animal and blew it up...

You have to be rich and famous to even be able to afford a doctor...

You have to attend military training every weekand or are executed for treason...

You think people in other nations are sissy's because there military is not made up of the majority of their nation in times of war...

You think the main idea of Buddhism is where you focus all your rage and let it loose on one poor unsuspecting person...

You own shares in a slave labour firm...

You are trained as a pyshcic/sorcerer and have godlike powers...

You have a pet drop bear...

You've gone hunting and ended up replacing the lush forest with a crater...

Your favourite game is blackjack...

Your'e favourite movie anyhthing that has a smal country being turned into a giant radioactive crater or naked women/men for the whole movie...

You own numerous great-swords and suits of armour...

You own a deamon sword...

You have numerous duels in your P.D.A...

You are barcoded...

You think health and safety issues give you a right overcharge because your risking your life even if you are a milkman...

You own as much weapons as an armoury.

You know you're a Buechorian when:

- You think it's easier to serve in the army for a year is easier than joining the labor corps. for 2 years.

- You have a lifetime Metro-Tranist card, but not a car

- You think the local beer hall's selection of only 500 drinks is too little

- Your apartment and it's complex is actually nice

- You have a garden (No, it's not girly)

- You and your wife go to see the local shooting competition before dinner

- Reality TV is your least favorite type of show

To be continued...

You know your Vastivan when....

... you're related to penguins by marriage.

... you know know full well how to "polite someone to death".

... you never argue, you simply apologize. Again. And again. And again...

... barter is a spectator sport.

... "going outside for a breath of fresh air" is a polite way of referring to a suicide.

... you speak five languages well, four not so well, six others "badly", and will gladly cuss someone out in any of them - politely.

... foreigners delightfully refer to you as "hicks with money" just before you buy their business out from under them.

...your TV has eight-thousand channels and there's still not a damn thing on worth watching!!!

... you'd gladly swap your spouse for a wheel of cheddar. Throw in some brie, and you can have the kids too.

...being "on camera" just means you left your house.

... "Winter" is six months long. So is "Summer". "Spring" and "Fall" are short enough so if you blink, you miss them.

... you can take up windsurfing in your back yard.

... your garage has a PolarBear and an autogyro in it.

Good Food isn't a luxury, it's a way of life
NO ONE cooks better than your mom
You consider youself a devout Catholic, but you haven't been to church since you were a kid, and dont plan on returning until your atleast 50
You have never met anyone with blond hair
You are deepy offended when someone pronounces it Matza-rella
There are only 5 car companies that matter: Fiat, Ferrari, Lamborghini, and Al'Auto.
You are a lover not a fighter, yet you keep your grandfather's lupara very well maintained
There is no such thing as non-designer clothes
You have sun-lines where you wear your gold chain.
You know it exists, but to you racism is even rarer than blond hair.
More to come later...


.... *counts* Fiat (1) Ferrari (2) Lamborghini (3) Al'Auto (4)....

(5) Everyone else?

*smirk*mails calculators with big buttons to Agrigento*

You know you're Sinoese when...

... You're incapable of writing more than one paragraph.

... You like big pictures. Which is understandable, after all, you can't read.

... You prefer a gun to a woman.

... You're incapable of doing basic maths, e.g. Interpreting the numbers on a clock.

Moral of the story: Don't send your children to a military academy.

OOC: Some lowlife angry bastard have to take cheap shots at the Sinoese just to feel good.

OOC: Thanks for you contribution but that wasn't enough. We need more!

More for the laughter:

you know you're a Sinoese when...

...you create a mental picture of an enemy country, you imagine Sinoese troops roaming around it destroying and killing everything!

...your favorite board game (besides Chinese chess) is the kriegspiel.

...you play kriegspiel with your friends and family.

http://www.rearguard.org.uk/krgspl01.jpg

...you can memorize all the propaganda slogan banners in your city.

...you look at a picture of the Hammer and Sickle and you think that commies use the hammer for striking their testis after they've shaved it, using the sickle.

...someone in you family (at least one) is in active service.

...after hearing about the rumors of Gen. Liu's (your leader) sniping, you want to be a sniper.

http://www.warlink.com/news/UploadFiles/200312995049494.jpg

...you anticipate National Day more than Chinese New Year.

BUMP

OOC: This thread is too valuable to die!

You know your Chuang (Zhuang) when you...


...shudder at the word Sino.

...pretend to like Sino because it is your neighbor.

...you feel an overwhelming sense that your Government's top priority is self-preservation.

...you truly believe it is better to be a farmer in a rural community, then to ever go to an Urban city and become educated.

...you pretend to agree with Sino on unification of China, but you secretly know the Chuang will always be free!

...you feel it's wrong to think about other things then chores.

...you have no concept of 'world events' or 'media'.

...you see the Soviet Hammer and Sickle and see onyl farm tools, then remember the farm work you have yet to do today, then do it FOR THE CHUANG PEOPLE!

If you can synchronise every elaborate and acrobatic move that you make with all of your fifteen thousand classmates...

If you're hungrier than a fast-food addict in a French-nationalist farming community...

If your granddad's in the United Workers' Militia, your sister's in the Working Womens' Home Brigade, your little brother's in the Kuro Student Defence League, and you're in a tunnel...

If you can turn the radio down but not off...

If you know the words to Reunification Rainbow and One Billion Human Bombs For Comrade Hotan...

If you understand the difference between Suloist and Kurosite...

If you've got a little badge proclaiming it to the world...

If you believe that questions are a burden for others...

If you've only ever seen a white person nailed to a cross or running away from you...

If you believe it is better to be hated than scorned by ants...

If the fastest you've travelled is down-hill on a bicycle...

If the Central Directorature damn well says so...

...you just might be Drapoel.

LOL! Classic mockery of the dehumanized communist system.

You know you're a Callisdrunian when...

-You travel to a foreign country and find the concept of a sun-tan fascinating.

-You've actually pondered whether or not a box of chocolates would be an acceptable sacrifice to the god, Odin.

-Upon deciding that it wouldn't, you sacrifice the box of chocolates to Freya or Ithtyr instead. And then eat them.

-You simply can't comprehend why anyone would wake up earlier than 9:00

-The high school you went to was new, i.e. less than 200 years old.

-You travel to a foreign country and can't believe that the bathrooms don't have condom dispensers.

-You can't imagine a holiday without a bonfire

You know you're an Aztec (HEAL, not ANL) when...

-Foriegners gawk at the dictatorship, but you just shrug.

-When before your nation entered the UN, there was no word for "diplomacy."

-When you have a sign on your backyard saying "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again." AND an AK (semi-auto) to back it up.

-When you get cancer and have yourself sacrificed on the pyramid, because euthanasial sacrifice is legal.

-When you believe that the UN is the worst thing to happen to the country since its exodus from the Americas.

You know you're a Noirian guy (boy, man, etc...) if(when)...

...your eyes well up with tears of pride when you see the -Noir- national flag being raised every morning.

...you think summer camp is going to your local reserve base and learning how to assemble and disassemble a gun is arts and crafts.

...you think a girl in a uniform is as attractive as a girl in a bathing suit.

...you buy every FPS and RTS game in the market, but rarely get to play any of them.

...you end up modding your air-gun to go hunting when you've run out of real bullets.

...you've read the book Battle Royale 8 times and haven't gotten bored of it.

...you like the taste of MREs.

...you don't notice the barcode imprinted on the back of your neck.

...the only stuff you have in your closet are khaki uniforms, a suit for formal occasions, uniform color polos, and the occasional khaki cargo pants.

...you flinch at the sight of guy wearing a tight and un-loose piece of clothing and immediately label him as gay.

...you think going shopping is going to an electronics store or gun shop.

...you have a gun strapped on your belt at all times.

...you feel special to be chosen to participate in the monthly war game.

...you think that shotting a pillow is a stress reliever.

...you argue with friends over whether or not to put a silencer on your gun.

...you would never be caught hang around the shoujo manga aisle at a store.

...you think Solid Snake is one of the coolest guy in the world.

...you actually think Solid Snake actually exists.

...you always think you can beat your friend in Soul Calibur II.

...you think Apples and Macs are evil.

...you are pro-PS2 and anti-Xbox, and think GC is somewhere in the middle.

...you own a Sony SEVS-44936 PS2 accessory and are saving up to buy a new one.

...growing up you think everyone who isn't a Noirian to be a zombie.

...you speak L33t fluently.

...have a LARGE collection of manga that lines your bookshelves at home.

...you think that all cars must be equipped with TV and a PS2.

...you think it is normal to live in a car when you don't have a house.

----

You know you are Noirian girl (woman, etc...) if(when)...

OOC: finish this later...

You know your Glyxorkian when...

...you can correctly pronounce words.

...your drill sergeant beat the crap out of you more times than the enemy ever will.

...the voting results are on television, from twelve years ago.

...you're married to 3 men, 4 women, a cat, a pair of dogs, and a sawed off shotgun.

...you’re martyred in the street because you shoplifted.

…your ego prevents you from having a good conversation with any other nationality. At least, that is, until it is eternally crushed in boot camp.

…invasion of privacy only applies to short skirts.

…your national currency falls from the sky in the wintertime and you didn’t even blink.

…your national animal has never been video recorded clearly.

…P&S Inc runs the economy. That is, Pete’s Pizza Palace and Suzies Soda Stronghold. They’re probably married too.

…as much as you’d enjoy kicking someone’s butt at chess, it’s so much easier build a space shuttle to send them to the sun.

…you have a slight Canadian accent, eh?

…your local police force rivals that of most other NationState’s special ops.

…bureaucracy = 8, but the 8 is sideways.

You know you're Macisikani when...

...you have to explain to foreign diplomats that there is actually an "i" on the end of the nation's adjective, but the tourists all get it.

..."thank you so very much" can be used to the same effect as a string of curse words.

...you're surprised to see a person over the age of 5 not wearing a sword.

...you're surprised to see a person aged 6 months-5 years not wearing a dagger.

...your grandma has at least eight different swords of varying types (and uses them), but no walking stick, and doesn't see the need for one.

...your have no fear of being mugged/raped/beat up/otherwise attacked because that would be rude, not because you can cut someone in half with that thing.

...you have the blood of at least two different, unrelated, noble houses in your veins.

...you know at least three Members of Parliament on a first-name basis.

...you think that having three different, parallel, orders of nobility is normal.

...even though they all hold the same seats in parliament.

...you know that the system of government works, and works very well, but not how.

...and neither does anyone you know, despite three of them being M.P.'s

...you're all afraid to draw attention to that in case it stops working.

...you don't understand the concept of software "piracy".

...you think a racist is a type of athlete.

Another one!

You know you're Taiwanese when you think pornography funds terrorism.

You know you're a Transpontian if ...

- the military you salute on Founders’ Day is a small detachment of anthropologists, sociologists and historians from the Centre for the Study of Foreign Aggression (it is the only military in the world to observe “casual friday”)

- you fiddle your taxes to give the government more money

- if you’re hit by a car, rescue efforts are hampered by:
a) your lively argument that traffic lights are a violation of the driver’s civil rights
b) you don’t want the driver to have a bad day

- your ballot paper has a box for “they’re all nice”

- the amount of senseless violence, war and colonialism in NS offends your pacifist principles so much you want to punch somebody

- if there’s a national disaster, your first thought is “Quick! Set up a committee!”

You still know you're a Roycelandian if:

... You've ever been Big Game Hunting and annexed a small country in the process.

... You think other Nations should drive on the "correct" side of the road, ie the left hand side, with the driver's controls and steering wheel on the right hand side of the vehicle.

... The Speed Limit signs are touted as "Suggestions" by the Ministry of Transport.

... You've ever used a Flamethrower to weed your garden.

... Your Favourite TV show is the politically incorrect sitcom "My Neighbour is a Darkie".

... Your Job Description involves carrying a large-calibre handgun to ward off dangerous animals.

I'll think of more...

You know you are Rejistani if...
...you ommit using the subject most of the time
...you were already fired because the boss found out you were in the stadium instead of working (and you think it was worth it)
...he found it out because he was in the stadium too - but unfortunately as fan of the other team
...the match you watched was a match between the third teams
...your next employer of the same team as you
...you can't believe that people abroad have to pay for medical treatment
...you use 'to compare' in many meanings including 'to think'
...you never touched a gun and only saw one in a film
...you think white-collar crime is worse than rape because more people are screwed
...the national media bleeps out a part of the national anthem before soccer matches (due to very insulting fan chants to the music of the anthem)
...'military' refers to the coast guard
...there are three types of catastrophies: war, natural disasters, relegation
...you cheered for Kalisimu Salan in the match at Sike Kaletri.

You Know your an Illiorian when
-You wear shorts and a T-shirt in 0 degree weather while drinking pina coladas
-you wander around aimlessly for longer than 10 minutes at a time
-your always hungry
-you think 120 degree weather is cool and breezy
-you're a bi-product of some messed up military experiment
-you address your elders only by sir, ma'am, or their rank
more to come

You know you're a Imperial Frenchman when...

- Your found on the street with full ruffles and attire

- You challenge the first person to say your name to "pistols at dawn"

- You hear the word "confetti balls" thrown around alot at the Imperial Air Corps

- You think crank-run machine guns, lumbering steel tank behemoths, and a snappy new uniform is the bleeding edge of technology

- Education is usually referred to as "indoctrination"

- You speak with an unbelievably horrible accent

- You hold immense hatred for "ze German pigs"

- You find yourself shouting a rapid fire string of French obscenities when someone remarks about your new shoes

- You ready pistols when you hear the word "wussy"

- You actually find mimes amusoing

- You actually believe the Emperor Elect is Napoleon

- You believe that castration is the solution to every crime

- You believe an Amontillado really is different from a Shelly

You know you're a Feminan when you....

Find that the rugby club is suprisingly empty

Refer to your country as 'castration nation'

Face invading armys of fifty squillion

Are either loved or hated by everyone

Find that people treat you so much better when AMF declares his support

etc.

You know you're Macisikani when...

...your only concern about another nation's major war is if it will affect the Pacific Rim Trading Company's stock price.

...under stress you are capable of consuming 2-3 times your own body weight in coffee, and feel no need to go to the toilet.

...another nation tries to kill off its elves and you immediately think of "The Very Secret Diaries of the Lord of the Rings Characters", and wonder why everyone's so upset.

....you know, personally, at least five people who can custom-make you a very good sword ideal for your physical strength and build and for your fighting style.

...you stopped caring ages ago about what the rest of the world does to itself, as long as the Empire can keep selling them stuff.

...you have forming inter-departmental, -organisational, -provincial, -whatever, committees down to a fine art.

...you've served as a member of two different committees by age 21.

...you know for a fact that the parliament's most heated and controversial debates are over the pudding being served with lunch.

...you agree instantly when a foreigner says that Macisikan needs democracy, and then argue for at least 8 hours over what type of democracy it should be.

You know you're a Starblaydi when...

* ...you're one of the few people who know the word for someone from Starblaydia is 'Starblaydi' and not 'Starblaydian'

* ...you have the potential to play professional sports

* ...you also have the potential to beat anyone from Vilita at those sports

* ...the sound of fighter jets overhead actually helps you get to sleep

* ...you know that the Lord-Protector really does protect you and every other Starblaydi in the country

You know you're a Sarzonian when...

* Your nation's capital is named after a hippie music festival
* One of your biggest celebrities is a navy admiral
* You can't get "married" in your country to get benefits. You have to get a civil union
* You think your country should be called "Taxzonia" or "Sartaxia"
* You mourned the loss of the Praetonian prime minister even more than you did the death of your own Senior Vice President for Internal Affairs
* You wonder why Sarzonian airlines don't have more discount packages to Daurmont
* Your biggest display of outward affection is a handshake

You know you're Auroran when...

- you'd take the environment over industry any day...

- your least educated friends have a masters degree...

- you encourage your children to grow a healthy garden of marijuana but would cane them if they planted coca or opium poppies...

- you wish Dubya had suck to partying and not politics...

- you fear but respect the Supreme Tri-Mage...

- not a single person couldn't run a mile in under 8 minutes...

- you view the military as a safeguard and not an invasion force..

- the only people you know who drive an SUV live in the woods...

- people from other nations envy your glowing tan...

- you ride your bike unless you're traveling further then ten miles...

- everyone you know has a pilots license...

- you love dragonflies...

- Tucker Max is the funniest rich kid you have ever heard...

- you joined the military so you could buzz your friends houses in a jet...

- you know who Claudio Sanchez is and have a profound respect for his vocal chords...

- you think the members of Good Charlotte deserve to be hung by their feet for making punk into a pop lifestyle...

- you wish the people at MTV could be punished for destroying music...

- your favorite weapon is an elecric guitar...

- you have a desert eagle mounted on the inside of your front door for the express purpose of scaring off door to door salesmen and mormons...

- you wish people would leave gay marraige and abortion up to homosexuals and pregnant women..

- you hunt for dinner in the local Flesh preserve with a high powered rifle

- you respect guns but store them away from children

- your car is capable of well over 100mph and travels at such speeds on a regular basis

- 50 hour work weeks are normal and people don't seem to mind since productivity is up and so are the wages

- you know racism is a crime and wish it carried the death penalty

- you have never heard of a murder commited by an auroran, only forreign visitors and immigrants..

- you view religion as a waste of time and your government agrees...

- your house has a wind turbine, solar panels and geothermal heating...

- you love granola ...

- you own a pair of well-traveled sandals...

- you love your government for protecting you and having such freedoms for it's citizens

BUMP

More:

You know you're a Sinoese when...

...your son's favorite toy is a scaled model of weapon systems of the ARSCF (Armed Republic of Sino Combined Forces).

http://www.sinodefence.com/army/artillery/mlrs/ws1_6.jpg

...you prefer Chinese tea to any of that soft drink soda crap!

...you can write a list of equally nasty generalizations of the White man after you've been angered his racist comments.

...you name your favorite car as this:

http://www.sinodefence.com/army/transport/eq2050_3.jpg

...you participate in endless debate about which is the better MBT, Type 98G or M1A2?

...you laugh at White people for being lazy.

...you enjoy your 50-hour work week as you don't want your nation to die or lag behind industrially or ecnomically.

You know your Doomingslandian when...

-You feel naked without your sidearm
-You fell naked outside your ACS armor
-You mindlessly obey the government
-You go out of your way to assist the police
-You don't really feel much in the way of emotions, except for your twisted sence of humor
-People from other countries think your metaly unstable, with your talk of 'peace through power' and 'obey the emporer, or be crushed by the power of Jesus'
-You constantly worry about starting to go left-wing, and if it ever does start to happen, you turn yourself in to the government for 'reeducation'
-You contantly dream about slaughtering random enemies with a knife at close range
-When you have a rodent problem, you stick the animals head on a stick, hold it up high, and roar in victory
-You'd prefer to drive a Bradley to work rather than a Ferrari
-Your favorite show is a bunch of convicts sluaghtering each other with swords on live TV
-Surrender isn't part of your vocabulary
-Chicks dig you for your 'glowy red eyes' (thanks to our policy on the environment)
-You refer to anyone who disagrees with you politicly as 'commie pig-dog'
-You are constantly worried that a highway leprochuan will jump on your hood as your driving to work
-Your favorite sport is leprochuan hunting
-Your favorite things to smell in the morning include napalm, black powder, smokeless powder, scorched human flesh, ect.
-You think the M1A2 is the best RL tank
-You think everything American in origin is automaticly superior
-You believe anyone with an oponion that differs from your's(the government's) is automaticaly wrong

You may be a 'Brooker
- If your favorite food is beer
- If you speak fluent English and SQL
- If your Senator spends endless time rearranging the Big Ten
- If you think Michael Moore is a tool
And!
If you think Vegetarians are hillarious,
If Ren and Stimpy are your role models,
If MXC is your favorite sport,
You just may be a 'Brooker.

You know your a Parthian when.....

...Your car is an M1-A2

...You have an arsenal of shoulder launched missiles

...You hunt deer with an M-249 SAW

...You have a private army

...You vacation in Parthian Egypt to hunt Arabs

...your factory workers are all slaves from Shoobooshaaba

...you drive a Hummer H1

...hunt your slaves on horseback with a bow and arrow

...Think that Persians should rule the Earth

...built a summer cottage in Parthian Egypt with 50 rooms.

...think the proletariat are called "human resources"

...release freon and CFCs for fun

...keep lions as pets

...kill manatees for fun

...hunt illegal aliens with a Barrett .50 Cal

...you carry a .45 at all times

...your house is protected by a wall and guard towers with miniguns

...help police control protests by unloading your machinegun into the crowds

...tested your AH-64's rockets on a school full of poor Hazara children.

...watch Parthian Reality Network (with shows that involve Parthian citizens killing undesirables.)

You know you're Kryozerkian when...

- threats of war from Farflorin doesn't phase you
- you are happy Farflorin left
- can't wait for the government to declare war on Farflorin
- assume it's normal when provinces separate from the country
- you have a dictatorship and you want to vote, and have democracy and don't want to vote
- you hate Farflorin but defend its right to sovereignty
- having several nations on the verge of ragnarok doesn't stop you from going about your dailt business
- you speak a patois of languages but damned if you know what they originally were
- elections can be anywhere from every 3 months to every 4 years
- you vote separarist but you enjoy your national unity
- you have no idea what Protestant Christianity is, or for that matter, Judiasm or Islam... but, you know people who have a Buddhist mother, a Catholic father and the person is baptised Shinto
- the borders for provinces change at random
- you think anyone who doesn't understand computers is a moron
- you're a vegetarian and you think animal rights activitsts are retarded
- you're a meat-eater and you're an animal rights activist
- you have at least one family member in the government and another two in the army and this is in your immediate family
- you've never been to rural Kryozerkia and you're surprised it exists
- you're from rural Kryozerkia and you still manage to hold a government job

You know you are from Insane Inflation if...
...you can't make ends meet with a 14 digit wage - paid daily
...you use a wheelbarrow to go shoping, not for the goods but for the money
...you have a short word for thousand trillions
...you are in need of such a word because otherwise prices would rise while you say them
...you don't think that it is strange that the value of a post stamp is written on it by pencil
...you live in Reichsmarkia
...you can re-pay your debts very simple by waiting until they lost their value.

You now you're a Bontocknian when...

...You have the urge to go sieze some far off land and turn it into a sweatshop
...You just want to shoot the commies damnit!
...You saw Sinoese General Lui hanging from a tree in your dreams
...You dream of Islandian leaders nude on a beach

more coming

You know your a Mauiwoweeander when:

1. You count as a good day one where you don't spill the bong water;
2. You wonder which one is "Pink" Floyd;
3. You visit a head shop at least once a week;
4. You wonder why the government doesn't give pop-tarts to poor people;and
5. You think Darkside of the Moon is the actual soundtrack to the Wizard of Oz.

BUMP

OOC: Someday this will get put up as Sticky and the whole of NS can share these laughs.

You know you're Westernese when:

---
You like mud a whole lot
You like worms a whole lot
You're an idiot
You like mud a whole lot
You can't remember what day it was last Tuesday
You can't remember what Tuesday is
You live in a hole in the ground
You eat mud a whole lot
You consider grass a rarity
You're all soggy from rain
You're an idiot
You repeat yourself
You speak incoherently
Your favorite sport is "Whack The Mud Lots"
You own a bludgeonizer
You're a maniac
You're an idiot
All your friends are maniacs and idiots
---

This is a sticky-worthy thread, I'd say. It's good nation info.

This is a sticky-worthy thread, I'd say. It's good nation info.

OOC: For once on the forums I've actually done something peacefully creative.

You know you’re a Noviet when-
- You have three religious tattoos, each from a different religion.
- Speak several languages but feign ignorance when a police officer speaks to you
- You breathe deeply on a Los Angeles freeway and comment on how fresh and clean the air is without any sarcasm
- Have shot yourself in the leg at least once because the trigger on your dueling pistol is tight enough to be fired by a strong breeze
- Have at least two duels in your PDA date book
- You live in a megalopolis
- Your considered dumb if you don’t have at least five bachelor degrees
- You complain vehemently because the government won’t let you buy collapsing rounds for your assault rifle
- You have a tan on your genitals from passing out in the park naked during your afternoon ‘trip’
- The police merely inquired if you were all right when you woke up
- You argue over whose barcode should be 000 000 666
- You settle the argument with a duel
- The winner takes number as his own
- Your diet is mostly seafood but you indulge in more ethically questionable meats, like veal, dolphin or human
- Druidic stones are as common to the landscape as cathedrals
- If you were going to commit suicide you’d let a cult sacrifice you for the income to your relatives
- You never have enough,…
- Your admitted into emergency triage free but are then slapped with a massive bill for the Xrays

OOC: Given all the comments about swords, weapons, and guns in general, I would have to say that - rather than being distinctive stereotypes about a nation - it's simply common in NationStates as a whole.

You might be a Tahar Joblissan if you spent an Army hitch in the Construction department, like most of your classmates.

If you can walk into any eatery and do the following things at breakfast time, you're probably in Tahar Joblis:
-Deep fry yourself some nice hot seaweed bricks.
-Find at least a dozen people with doctoral or higher education without raising your voice or moving from your seat.
-Read the morning's news using a magnifying glass.
-Walk in without shoes or shirt and attract absolutely no attention for it.
-Find twelve different kinds of seaweeds used as breakfast cereals, but not one slice of bacon.

If you think "money" is an amusing way of making foreigners do strange things, you could be Tahar Joblissan. If you think that money and monetary system dynamics are the cause of the majority of the injustice, war, famine, and other problems plaguing the rest of the world, you may also be Tahar Joblissan.

If you never learned how to drive, but can derive the equations pertinent to any given form and permutation of vehicular motion - provided you have the appropriate materials information on hand - you could be Tahar Joblissan.

If the notion of a fixed capital city and administrative center seems strange to you, you might be Tahar Joblissan.

You might be a Tahar Joblissan if you learned about voting systems before you learned about monetary systems

You now you're a Bontocknian when...

...You have the urge to go sieze some far off land and turn it into a sweatshop
...You just want to shoot the commies damnit!
...You saw Sinoese General Lui hanging from a tree in your dreams
...You dream of Islandian leaders nude on a beach

more coming

And you really know you're a Bonstocknian when you're looking at a globe and spontaneously start stroking China, Japan, and Korea while repeating "My precious... my precious!"

You may be a TFer
..If you like watching people drive cars around in circles
..If you Ever ate a Freebird
..If you play Sports
..If you Know who John Boy Isley is
..If you were a Mullet
..If you no what MJOLNIR is
..If you think a Jackel is Something that comes from Outer Space
..If you worship Jeff Foxworthy
..If you Favorite Color is Oarnge
..If you wear Oarnge A LOT

BUMP

Now this is comedy! We need more!

Your a Parthian if:

You live in a Pentouse in the city while your wife and kids live in a 50 room "country cottage" in the suburbs.

You own 3 Hummer H1s and so does your neighbor.

at least 1 of your H1s has a weapon mounted on top.

You own 30 factories which are manned entireley by slaves and people getting paid $0.50 an hour.

Your 13 year old son and all his friends smoke cigars.

You took part in the annual Parthian Leftist Roundup (Think Sweetwater Rattler Roundup except with Leftists and they get rounded up by civilians with fully automatic weapons)

You keep 3 or more endangered species as pets

You hunted Oryx with an AH-64.

You complain that the government is unjust to restrict sale of delpleted uranium bullets and IRBMs.

You bought your son an M-60 because his friends all had M-249s.

You then bought your son an M-2 because all his friends bought an M-60 when he did.

You have a Shrine to Shah Khosru.

laugh at commercials showing starving people overseas.

Petitioned that the government should nuke Ethiopia so the commericals would stop.

have a housewife who stays home and takes care of the kids while you work.

love watching public executions of Feminists, Communists, Leftists, and other Undesirables.

You sometimes hunt on horseback with a bow and arrow

Your diet is a mix of meats, spiced rice, foreign food, tea, and lots of veal.

You shot a vegan and given a medal for doing so

You built a room in your house and filled in with 1 ounce gold bars so you could swim in gold.

You dumped toxic waste into a ghetto

You're a Mississippian if:

You have more guns than years of age.

You can chew your weight in red man without breaking into a sweat.

Somebody can say to you, "You put your seed in my daughter's belly, I'd kill you if you weren't my brother!" To which you can reply, "But pa!" (the dad slept with his mother to get a son and a brother)

You can make a noose in under twenty seconds flat.

Instead of sleep-walking, you sleep your way to your cousin's bed.

Your gun-rack has a gun-rack.

Your response to "Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms" is "Sounds like a party to me!"

Your wife can't find a white sheet in the house because you took them all for the WKM robes.

Your response to a woman saying, "Why don't men take us seriously?" is "She's a witch, burn her!"

Your response to a black man shouting, "We shall overcome!" is "Overcome this!" while you unload your M-249 at them.

Your response to a black man shouting, "I am a man!" is "A dead man!" while you take out your pistol.

You wake up one morning and hear your nation is killing more peasants as "enemies of the state."

You look outside and see signs proclaiming, "All hail Czar Fabus."

You leave for church at 9 am and don't get back until after 3 pm, because it takes that long for God to hear your prayers.

Somebody says the word condom, and you just scratch your head and say, "You mean those rifle protection things the soldiers use to keep sand out their guns?" (Only people under 20 do this, because prior to the Fabus regime, everybody knew what condoms were)

You see a wooden cross and your first thought is to set it ablaze.

You know your a proud citizen of the Most Holy Empire of the Water Cooler when...

-You derive endless mirth out of mocking other, more idiocratic nations.
------------------

The following was hastily prepared by the Ministry of Oversight. They freely admit it doesn’t match the original song, and that it isn’t very good. If it wasn’t for that man with the gun standing over them they would refuse to submit it. But they digress…


Citizen:
I am the very model of a modern Water Coolian,
I've information vegetable, animal, and Empirical,
I know the Monks of the Cooler, and I quote the Emperors hierarchal
From Damus to Sohi, in order longevitical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters captalistic,
I understand market fluctuations, both the domestic and antinationalistic,
About Communist scum I'm teeming with a lot o’ rage
With many nationalistic facts about the source of their cage.
ALL:
With many nationalistic facts about the source of their cage.
With many nationalistic facts about the source of their cage.
With many nationalistic facts about the source of their cage.

Citizen:
I'm very good at obeying and not questioning the government;
I know the theoretic names of forms unimaginable:
In short, in vegetable, animal, and Empirical,
I am the very model of a modern Water Coolian.
ALL:
In short, in vegetable, animal, and Empirical,
He is the very model of a modern Water Coolian.
Citizen:
I know our superior history, Emperor Yurs and Lord Caradoc's;
I answer hard semantical syntaxes, I've a pretty taste for obedience,
I quote in fifteen languages all the crimes of the Communists,
In conics I can floor peculiarities of others;
I can tell undoubted Coolains from the rest of the world,
I know the jubilant chorus from the Emperor of Austrophies!
Then I can sing a march of which I've heard the music's tune before,
And mine all the acts from that infernal nonsense Democracy.
ALL:
And mine all the acts from that infernal nonsense Democracy.
And mine all the acts from that infernal nonsense Democracy.
And mine all the acts from that infernal nonsense Democracy.
Citizen:
Then I can write a washing bill in correct XML,
And tell you ev'ry detail of 10.3’s kernal:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and Empirical,
I am the very model of a modern Water Coolian.
ALL:
In short, in vegetable, animal, and Empirical,
He is the very model of a modern Water Coolian.
Citizen:
In fact, when I know what is meant by "Loyalty" and "Service",
When I can tell at sight a Traitor from a citizen,
When such affairs as enemy propaganda and lies I'm more wary at,
And when I know exactly what is meant by "democrat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern national tracking,
When they know more of my location than a mother in a nursery--
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental axioms,
You'll say a better Citizen has never taxed ‘em.
ALL:
You'll say a better Citizen has never taxed ‘em.
You'll say a better Citizen has never taxed ‘em.
You'll say a better Citizen has never taxed ‘em.
Citizen:
For my national knowledge, though I'm loyal and unquestioning,
Has been from the beginning of time;
But still, in vegetable, animal, and Empirical,
I am the very model of a modern Water Coolian.
ALL:
But still, in vegetable, animal, and Empirical,
He is the very model of a modern Water Coolian.

Nice one, TWC.

Your a Parthian if:
You live in a Pentouse in the city while your wife and kids live in a 50 room "country cottage" in the suburbs.
You own 3 Hummer H1s and so does your neighbor.
at least 1 of your H1s has a weapon mounted on top.
You own 30 factories which are manned entireley by slaves and people getting paid $0.50 an hour.
Your 13 year old son and all his friends smoke cigars.
You took part in the annual Parthian Leftist Roundup (Think Sweetwater Rattler Roundup except with Leftists and they get rounded up by civilians with fully automatic weapons)
You keep 3 or more endangered species as pets
You hunted Oryx with an AH-64.
You complain that the government is unjust to restrict sale of delpleted uranium bullets and IRBMs.
You bought your son an M-60 because his friends all had M-249s.
You then bought your son an M-2 because all his friends bought an M-60 when he did.
You have a Shrine to Shah Khosru.
laugh at commercials showing starving people overseas.
Petitioned that the government should nuke Ethiopia so the commericals would stop.
have a housewife who stays home and takes care of the kids while you work.
love watching public executions of Feminists, Communists, Leftists, and other Undesirables.
You sometimes hunt on horseback with a bow and arrow
Your diet is a mix of meats, spiced rice, foreign food, tea, and lots of veal.
You shot a vegan and given a medal for doing so
You built a room in your house and filled in with 1 ounce gold bars so you could swim in gold.
You dumped toxic waste into a ghetto

You're more likely to be a Parthian if:
You worry about being summarily executed for thought crimes.
You feel like your husband has you chained to the kitchen and kids.
You earn $0.50 an hour in a factory (cannot afford to eat, save, or get ahead in life) and live in or near a toxic waste dump.
You are a slave working in a factory to make depleted uranium bullets.
The children at your school engage in gunfights with automatic weapons now and then.

You know you are a Whittierite if:
You attended a large elite university at govt. cost
You had to serve in the military from 17 until you were 25 (unless you was exempted)
You enjoy high political and civil rights
You fear being jailed for protesting the socialist party
You carry gun everywhere
You often go to nudist summer camps full of females
You own 3 cars
You go around the world to different tourist spots while on vacation
You work 50 hours a week.
You're favorite food is pizza.

you know your an unimaginevilite when...

death can't come sooner
robots attack you with brooms
invading goo was like 'so' yesterday
your leader is a complete stud
robots walk among humans and nobody wonders why
you have lush forests but cant find them

BUMP

Let the laughs never end.

You know you belong to NATO when...

... you needed to build additional ports to house your allies navies during "friendly visits".

... It's not an eclipse, it's an overflight.

... A convention of members would require not only your entire logistics branch, but that of your two closest allies, their neighbors, and probably anyone you could hook off the street to help address envelopes and lick stamps.

... of course, you'd run out of stamps long before your ran out of invitations. And you print the damn things.

... the answer to "You and whose army?" is "Theirs. And theirs. And theirs. And theirs. And theirs. And..."

con't...

You know you're Kryozerkian when...

...you make bets with your friends on who can misdirect the most tourists
...you give phoney maps to Kutouese
...you want to invade Kutou-koku, even though the biggest threat is Dyrbreadia, which is on the otherside of the map
...you consider a lady polite when she burps loudly in public after eating
...rally for the government to outlaw something, and it does
...but then when it's outlawed, you protest because you want it back
...you're considered normal if you own at least two computers
...you're weird if you own more than three televisions

You know you're Callisdrunian when...
-You met your spouse in the shower in the military, which is fully "co-ed"
-Everyone knew about it and your superior officers didn't care because, as they say, when morals go down, morale goes up.
-You don't really get the point of bathing suits
-When a foreigner tells you to get a hair cut, you simply look at them in confusion.
-Religions that equate the sun with God baffle you. Why would anyone worship something that's hardly ever there?
-When someone asks you where the glaciar is, you say "which one?" or just point in the direction of the nearest one.
-When you were in high school and your parents found out that you and your sweetheart were having sex, they merely asked how it was.
-When you were with some foreign friends of yours, in Rotenburg (a country that neighbors Callisdrun), they referred to something as "kinky." And you had always thought it was perfectly normal.
-You let a Callisdrunian vampires drink your blood. Or you are one.
-Either way, the relationship probably goes a bit farther than that, doesn't it?
-You think people in other countries look fruity with all their colorful clothes.
-In fact, it's an insult to the fruits you know, that the people in other countries look so fruity.
-You say how sorry you are that someone is crippled when they inform you that they cannot swim.

You still might be Roycelandian if...

... Your wardrobe contains a Pith Helmet, Loud Shirt, and Khaki cargo pants.

... You spent your Military Service sitting in the Officer's Club somewhere like Coral Palm Island or Roycelandian East Africa, drinking Bourbon and insisting your hunting anecdotes are better because they have a Tiger in them.

... You've ever stood on the Roycelandian East Africa/Lusaka Border and peed into Lusaka from the Roycelandian side.

... You took on a job as an Arms Dealer for Imperial Armaments as a part time job during High School and University.

... Local merchants and businesses accept ammunition, cigarettes, porno DVDs, and Tiger's teeth as well as cash.

You might be Lusakan if...

-You've used your scant holiday time visiting the great wonders of your nation: the continent's tallest mountain, the world's second deepest lake, ah, the world's second largest fresh water lake, and...the other big lake, too! Oh! And the Great Rift Valley! Man, those are some big holes-in-the-ground/lumps-on-the-ground!

-You can't chase those vultures away from your children because they're protected by law. After all, those humble, skilled, survivors are just misunderstood, and the white world gives them the same bad press as it does you!

-You call your esteemed President (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v148/Chivtv/NS1/igomo.jpg), "Mister Derek" (Igomo)

-You've ever posed for a government service poster expecting a professional job and later seen this (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v148/Chivtv/NS1/communist_party_poster.jpg) advertisment for war bonds plastered all over your home town.

-Your national sport involves betting food coupons on which way the economy will swing next.

-Your cousin in the west got shot while trying to convince the Congo River Research Facility that it was surrounded by lions and various monsters.

-Your cousin in the west got angry side of your uncle's belt for, "not hiding well enough!"

-Looking cool (as you understand it) is more important than ducking and covering, running, calling for help, getting up, reaching for the fire extinguisher, seeing a doctor about that, or breaking a sweat in public.

-You've ever climbed the highest peak in Africa with the specific intention of trying to cause an avalanche on Kilimanjaro's north face.

BUMP

OOC: Just how funny are the Sinoese ones?

You know you are from Abysmalistan if...
...you know 15 words for rain and 10 for fog but none for sunshine
...you don't know that there is nature, which is not swamp
...the art of underarchieving is still honored by you
...the Abysmal national team lost 1:2 against a strong opponent - and you want the coach fired due to 'overarchieving'
...foreigners think that you are very glum
...the Abysmali first league-tables lack a W column and you don't consider it strange
...lowest number of points ensures promotion
...your country had a president for entire three minutes, and this president is considered as a symbol of the desperate situation of Abysmalistan
...you go to elections and tick the "I don't give a f*cking damn!" box
...your vocabulary is lacking all positive words
...you compose them from negations of negative words: not-lost-and-not-draw-but-the-match-took-place means "win".
...you like to live in the "miserable failure of Abysmalistan"

You know your from HARLESBURG when....
you have utter contempt for everyone around you
you can never find something good to watch on tv(too many ethnic minorities (quota system))
you dont discriminate you hate everyone
you pay high taxes(especially to the millitary and yet there is only 6000 troops with no equipment)damn politicians
you interfare with other nations politics
your favourite food is deep fried cheese on a stick
you can never find the tv remote(government steals batteries?)
your told you are happy
your favourite beer just got sold to the sinonese
and you cant understand American football(including name?)

BUMP

You know you're a Sinoese when...

...as a male, you are confused that 'tampions' are part of feminine hygene.

...the human race is classified as Homo Sapien, you think your race is Homo Sinoian.

...you think the reason why they named it Hurricane Ivan is because it came and swept away everything in the Carribean, just like the Reds and their trophy brigades (known to you as 'Ivans') in WWII Europe.

You know you're Sdaerijian when even you can't spell or pronounce your nation's name.

You know your Chuang (Zhuang) when you...


...shudder at the word Sino.

...pretend to like Sino because it is your neighbor.

...you feel an overwhelming sense that your Government's top priority is self-preservation.

...you truly believe it is better to be a farmer in a rural community, then to ever go to an Urban city and become educated.

...you pretend to agree with Sino on unification of China, but you secretly know the Chuang will always be free!

...you feel it's wrong to think about other things then chores.

...you have no concept of 'world events' or 'media'.

...you see the Soviet Hammer and Sickle and see onyl farm tools, then remember the farm work you have yet to do today, then do it FOR THE CHUANG PEOPLE!

in adition to these, i'm adding:

...you cease to even notice the numerous palaces dotting the landscape.

...you're not even sure if there is a world outside your town.

...you start to think about if the world is larger, feel guilty, and consult your local administrator as to the answer, because what the Government says is always true.

...your local administrator dodges answering the question and gives you an extra ration to drop the subject.

You know your Chuang (Zhuang) when you...

...you pretend to agree with Sino on unification of China, but you secretly know the Chuang will always be free!

OOC: Yes, free as an unwashed diaper stinking up the air!

Bump

You know yor a Naggrothian when you kill everyone who is not of your race sing the excuse "They are destroing the perfectnessesity of my world."

BUMP

We need to occupy some 20 pages before it is worth going into 'Sticky'. So gentlemen, work, work, work!

You know you are an employee of the Trilateral Commission if...

...you are a freemason.

...you are a mindless white collar zombie with "Employee of Trilateral Commission" tattooed on your left shoulder.

...your eating habits consist of taking three Standard Nutrition Tablets daily.

...your marriage was arranged for you by Employee Development.

...one day two random screaming babies were suddenly assigned for you to raise by Human Resources.

...ever since that brain surgery you had when you were hired, you have the same dream every night - a huge talking pyramid with an eye on the top gives you a lecture about the importance of loyalty and hard work.

...your idea of fun is a weekend spent doing some daytrading.

...you don't play poker but you have been working on your currency speculation face.

...you are wearing a tinfoil hat.

You are an Elias Citizen if you...

...speak Arabic and hebrew, and only write english

...think about money at least once every twelve seconds

...profess about the liberty of the nation while waiting in line for your annual interview by the FSB, where you will have to provide fingerprints, iris scans and a DNA sample.

...complain about government extortion for taking 3% of your earnings in tax

...look at empty desert and immediately imagine mega malls and skyscrapers in place of dunes

...wait for the government to tell you what your opinions are

...accept that if you are poor it must be your own fault

...accept that if you are ill it must be your own fault

...accept that if you are stupid it must be your own fault

...haggle with every shop cashier to negotiate a discount

...look down on someone who doesn't try and haggle a discount

...believe that fraud is a victimless crime

...achieve success through blackmail, bribery and corruption

...look upon the arms trade as honourable

...dress in suits and ties even in at home

...teach your children how to play blackjack and roulette before teaching them how to ride a bike

...you own as many camels as you do cars

...you think that mentioning words like Trade Union, socialist, left-wing and revolutionary is worse than insulting someone's family.

You might still be in Roycelandia if...

... The Governor-General of Glimmer Twins has phoned the Emperor every morning for the last month requesting permission to invade and crush Drybreadia for their "Vile and Heinous Crimes Against Intelligence".

... You've ever seen someone arrested for attempting to buy things from a busy store.

... North Terristan threatens to secede, demanding to have their own country, with blackjack, and hookers, and forget the country!

... The closest thing to crime in most places is someone taking too long to order in a Fast Food restaurant.

... You've ever slapped someone else's child upside the head for crying in public.

... You wonder why there isn't a Roycelandian West Africa yet.

... You visited Roycelandian New Guinea and unwittingly found yourself being worshipped by a Cargo Cult tribe.

... Your cellphone is more powerful than most computers.

... The average working day is about four hours, with a two hour lunchbreak, yet somehow the country's Economy is one of the strongest in the world and no-one is actually poor.

... You've ever eaten a barbecued Elephant.

... You shot said Elephant in order to barbecue it.

... You've ever taken bets when the Police and Protestors clash.

You know you are a Jackdonian when

You watch comdies about the outside world

When you go kill protestors tha have killed your neighbor

when yu visit Vietnam

When you love to shoot M16s

Nice one, TWC.



You're more likely to be a Parthian if:
You worry about being summarily executed for thought crimes.
You feel like your husband has you chained to the kitchen and kids.
You earn $0.50 an hour in a factory (cannot afford to eat, save, or get ahead in life) and live in or near a toxic waste dump.
You are a slave working in a factory to make depleted uranium bullets.
The children at your school engage in gunfights with automatic weapons now and then.

Ok, all of those are true except the last one. We raise our kids with guns so they respect them.

You might be an employee of the Mikosolf Corperation if...

...the only time you leave the building you were born in is after you dead

...ever watched a blood sport

...ever had a relative in a blood sport

...your supervisors refer to you by number not by name

...outside is the arboretum

…you can go more places in a restaurant than you can on a plane

You might be part of the Mikosolf Defense Corps if…

…you know your squad mates better than your own mother

…think anyone who doesn’t wear body weights is “weak”

…discuss the latest training sim as if it were a real war

More to come!

BUMP

Lets all rate this thread too!

You might be Rejistani if...

...you are a fan of "Your team" (no matter if you are male or female)
...you ever left work or called in sick to watch said team
...you can tell the names of all 72 first-league clubs by heart
...and you think 72 teams are a good number for the H1SR
...a match of the Orange-Blues is a reason for work to end
...you can pronounce Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru, but shorten Syku Lyku to SyLy (or SyMji)
...you can explain the offside rule
...you think 14.4kB/s would be a good speed for internet-connections - if that slani Konihekta JSK would allow it in your region
...4 MHz is fast for a computer, since it is a multiprocessor system
...you either live in the middle of nowhere or in a gigantic city
...and living in the capital city counts as "living in the middle of nowhere"
...you think ten forms of comparism in rejistanian is a bad idea because it is unable to express subtle differences
...the ~ and ' keys on your keyboard are unreadable due to constant usage
...so is the '0' key because you keep quoting Karela Lines scores
...you either love the tactics of Karela lines or hate them, no inbetween
...you think nonetheless Karela lines play good football
...you buy Vitamin C tablets from the pharmacists so they are portable for you
...you think Vitamin C is caffeine
...you wait impatiently until the world cup will be in Rejistania again
...you don't think it is strange that men cry - at least if there is a real reason for it like a 0:5 trashing
...you earn a four-digit wage - hourly ($1 = 1100 lil'kansu'ny)
...you are glad to be from nanti simu/ligat/kansu
...you are no communist, but are strictly against too much/any private enterprise
...you go to the temple at least every week
...you are really superstitous if the number 17 is concerned
...you ommit using the subject of sentences most of the time
...you were already fired because the boss found out you were in the stadium instead of working (and you think it was worth it)
...he found it out because he was in the stadium too - but unfortunately as fan of the other team
...the match you watched was a match between the third teams
...your next employer is fan of the same team as you
...you can't believe that people abroad have to pay for medical treatment
...you use 'to compare' in many meanings including 'to think'
...you never touched a gun and only saw one in a film
...you think white-collar crime is worse than rape because more people are screwed
...the national media bleeps out a part of the national anthem before soccer matches (due to very insulting fan chants to the music of the anthem)
...'military' refers to the coast guard
...there are three types of catastrophies: war, natural disasters, relegation
...you cheered for Kalisimu Salan in the match at Sike Kaletri.

...you generally cheer for the opponents of Sike Kaletri (or you are a fan of Sike, but they are minority)
...you think orange and blue are beautiful colors if worn together
...you smoke a joint while using a commercial software program - and the non-OpenSource program is illegal, not the joint.
...whites are a minority in your nation
...you blame Margaret
...you partied an entire week long after the Orange-Blues won World Cup 12
...your favorite music is used in other countries for torture

Ok, all of those are true except the last one. We raise our kids with guns so they respect them.

OOC: You raise them with guns, go around shooting folks, and the kids never (a) play or (b) get homicidally mad, as kids do now and then? I didn't say "all the time," mind you...

Dang... do you have them all on drugs? 0_o Hm. I'll have to come up with some more then.

You might be a Tahar Joblissan if you think "roof" is synonymous with "garden" or "solar paneling."

You know you're a Camel Eater when

You ride giant worms to work.
You are allowed to marry anyone you want but are forced into government sponsored breeding programs.
Your father died in a camel shearing accident
You keep said father's head in a jar on a mantle to show friends.
You live in a house with your entire clan. It's a big house.
You keep anyone that you have killed head in a jar on the mantle to show friends.
Cooking meat is mandatory. Killing it is not.
You have several relatives who shaved off ALL their bodily hair and sharpened their teeth and nails as part of a religious festival.
You're not afraid of Death because he lives down the street.
You often use cheese to scare away evil spirits.
You are either completely naked or getting their.
You know as many transvestites as men and women.
It is common for goverment officials to be seen using recreational drugs in the park.
You know more languages than are necessary.
The last time you had sex is right now.

You know you are a Layartebian when..

1. You served two years in the military after high school and saw action.
2. You can say whatever you want about the government but cannot hold protests.
3. If someone insults you, you can smack them back.
4. If you screw up, it's your fault.
5. If you sue for something pointless, expect to be poor.
6. You see wierd lights over the forests and uninhabited areas and know not to ask questions.
7. You don't know the names of any elected officials, just their titles (i.e. the Emperor, the Minister of Intelligence).
8. The Layartebian News Network is the best news out there.
9. You have absolutely no idea where any military, governmental, or important facilities are but you know that they are out there.
10. Metallica rules.
11. Heavy metal rules.
12. Techno/trance rules.
13. Rap sucks.
14. Religion is a thing you may do but usually try not to advertise it.
15. Public cameras often catch you picking your nose.
16. You have a very good private life.

... more to come maybe ...

You know you are notquiteaplacean when...

.... you measure the opportunity cost of sleeping

.... You dont mind the next door neighbour and her husband/horse having a row next door

.... You wish people good business

.... You have a nuclear shelter in your garden near the house

..... and another at the far end in case a nuke falls while you are tending the vegitables!

.... you own a boat before you own a car

.... your rich childhood friends went to a floating school.

.... you wonder what a continent is like

.... you cant sleep without hearing the sea

You know you are Ytovian...

...when you step into a room, and find it creepy that everyone is the same color.

...when you've said something derogatory about "that fundamentalist religious nut", and were talking about an atheist.

...if you laugh when you hear a tourist complain about the abundance of "organized religion" in your country, and think, "Really, it isn't all that organized."

...you consider yourself "on time" to a 9:00 meeting when you arrive at 9:27.

...you consider yourself "early" if you arrive at 9:10.

...you paid for your wedding by selling sponsorship rights.

...you know how many schools participate in the "Big Six Conference".

You might well be a Crookfurian if:

...You are perfectly happy when all your wages are paid directly to His Majesty's Customs and excise, You know you'll get msot of it back eventually along with a detailed list on what was spent on what.

...Instead of visiting the local branch of your bank you go to the Local templar chapter house

...You can spot at least 2 ginger people in any room.

...Your national dress features a complicated arrangement of a tabard, kilt and horned helmet.

...You could sail before you could ride a bike.

...You regard Gale force winds as "A bit breezy"

...You have 3 national drinks: Scotch, irn-bru and car fuel... (crookfur has an ethanol based fuel economy).

...You mix these together to create a UAC20 (for when a PPC just doesn't do the job).

...You have broken at least one bone while taking part in a free running event.

...You only have one computer, but you live in it.

..Your unofficial national anthem requires both a 6 peice metal band and an orcestra to play.

...You know what the covenant is.

You know you're a Ganurathi when...

...you learned to fly before you learned to pee standing up.

...you laugh when someone says getting through the asteroid field will be difficult.

...you need to bueracracy in the dictionary.

...your military uniform is casual wear.

...being patriotic means shooting a government official

...almost nobody you know is married, but you know many people that share the responsability of raising their child.

...those you know who are married generally have multiple spouses of each gender in the marriage, a non-heterosexual somewhere in the mix, and possibly a household pet.

...your gun can take out a tank in one clip.

...physical education class involves being mugged by your teacher.

...you can't fathom the concept of unarmed combat.

...you've seen dust clouds do more damage than missiles.

You might well be a Crookfurian if:

...You are perfectly happy when all your wages are paid directly to His Majesty's Customs and excise, You know you'll get msot of it back eventually along with a detailed list on what was spent on what.

...Instead of visiting the local branch of your bank you go to the Local templar chapter house

...You can spot at least 2 ginger people in any room.

...Your national dress features a complicated arrangement of a tabard, kilt and horned helmet.

...You could sail before you could ride a bike.

...You regard Gale force winds as "A bit breezy"

...You have 3 national drinks: Scotch, irn-bru and car fuel... (crookfur has an ethanol based fuel economy).

...You mix these together to create a UAC20 (for when a PPC just doesn't do the job).

...You have broken at least one bone while taking part in a free running event.

...You only have one computer, but you live in it.

..Your unofficial national anthem requires both a 6 peice metal band and an orcestra to play.

...You know what the covenant is.

We're not very different would your people like to start some trade with ours.
We also have pakour festivals and camel hair kilts. Our sandstorms are just as light as just a bit breezy.

You might be a Parthian if:

...Your wife listens to her husband

... your wife stays at home

...your home is kept at a constant 68 degrees fahrenheit, even if it is 110 outside.

...you own a generator for non-emergency use.

...you own 3 SUVs devoid of pollution control devices

...you like watching violent reality TV.

...you think Shah Khosru is God-incarnate.

...you worry about "disappearing" for being a union member or other undesirable.

...you ever used an M-60 to help police break up a strike.

...your kids know how to operate a TOW missile.

you know your a Harlesburgite
If you are also called a Harlesburger
or a Harlesburgundian
or a Harlesburgcastrian
or a Harlesburgy
or a Harlesburgian
or Master of the World

BUMP


Got any more?

You might be a Camel Eater contd.
If you ever tried killing a sand monster and it turned out to be your dad.
If the last time you hit someone with a large rock you were trying to knock the demons out of their head.
If you have at least eight porn channels and only eight channels on your TV all of them government controlled.
If you've ever had a surprise funeral instead of surprise birthday parties.
If you know how to play at least five instruments before you can walk.
If you have a family pyramid tomb where all your picnics are held.

You Know your a Harlesburger if you think abortions are evil
;Are only for ethnic minorities
;Are considered sterilisation which the government dosent celebrate or abhor

BUMP

Let's just have a few more before I get the mods to stick this up!

Yay!!!

BUMP


I did ask for a few more.

You know you're Raptorian when...

...You dream about WWIII and a Nuclear Apocalypse.

...You personally kill each protestor against your might with a very dull, rusty knife.

...You carry a weapon of somesort anywhere with you.

...You feel uneasy when talking about economics.

...You can't remember the last time you prayed.

...You partake in genetic tests as much as possible.

...You've received special ops training in every field, including cooking.

...You listen to your propaganda messages on your iPod instead of actual music.

...Every time you hear "war" you smile gleefully.


OOC: Not very good I know, but still.

You know your a Harlesburgundian if you cant make up your mind about what your people are actually called apart from Princes of the Universe

You know you're a Sileetrian when.....

..Your entire paycheck technically came from the government selling technology you've never heard of..

..Even though you went to a top-rated college and have an IQ of 145......for free..

..You have high-speed internet, full-selection cable TV, a state of the art PC, and a modernized 70s muscle car........and you mow lawns for a living..

..You are given a 9mm submachinegun by the government "Just in case..."..

..Crime from all the free guns is kept down by police in full-body armored suits with advanced assault rifles.......And you've never seen the SWAT teams..

..You've been going 175 on a highway and have been passed..

..You remember those couple of weeks when someone put Ritalin in the water-supply as "The Golden Age"..

..You've had to return a parrot to the pet-store because it was dead when you bought it, but during the negotiations it rose to life as an undead parrot..

You know you're a Samsylvannian when...

...You live in the middle of Lake Erie with 36 other nations.

...You remember that time when 10,000 orbital nuclear weapons headed for your country turned into potted petunias and a sperm whale.

...The UN is the man, and you must fight the man.

...You make fun of countries who accidentally put an extra "of" in their name and the abbreviation that it makes (stupid TFootCoC's...)

...You really, really, really like cheese.

...You've argued about the feasibility of a SAM shooting down a 1,000 pound block of fine Swiss cheese.

...You invade allies for the hell of it.

...You've seen an Intercontinental Ballistic Cheese Launcher, and know how to use it.

You know you're a Sinoese soldier when...

...you play 'strip poker' with your comrades. (To see who's first to shed all their webbing and equipment and get down to their BDUs).

You know your from Yevon of Spira if...

- Church is integrated into every part of your daily life.
- Warfare through swords and magic is more preferable than technology even though technology available.
- Exotic clothes and leather sashes over your clothes are normal.
- It is not rare to meet people who can summon large monsters to aid them.

Umm...thats all I can think of now.

You know you're a Tioszaean when...

... you have security cameras posted around your house.

... you can't stand wearing shorts; they're too revealing.

... you think bullet-proof jackets are a necessity.

... you put on four layers of sun screen; you can never have too much!

... you almost never use your real name, except when in court.

... you think telling someone your address is suicide.

... binary is your second language. 11000 101 01!! (for all you illiterates, that would be 24, 5, and 1, meaning Y, E, and A. YEA!! :D)

You know you're Macisikani when...

... you don't understand why English doesn't have a non-gender-specific pronoun

... your Church issues updated bibles on a regular basis

... you've argued both sides of the communist/capitalist debate successfully...

... in the space of five minutes...

... with different people...

... and you don't believe in either side

... as a kid, when a fight broke out in the playground, the first thing you did was declare your neutrality in a loud voice...

... and then sell band-aids to both sides when they were finished

... someone spills their drink on your carpet and all you say is "Don't worry; it's had far worse then that spilled on it"...

... they ask you "Worse? What do you mean?", and you give them an odd look before assuring them that they really don't want to know

You know your a Harlesburgite if ...
Youve assited someone you didnt know in a war without permission.
Youve been kicked out of a colony but let back in.
youve ran your Automobile industry into the ground to save the planet from polution after voting to save it from extinction.

You know your a Terminalian when..

..your proud to be a citizen of your country, and not in any way ashamed of

it.

..your first and last breaths are full of the good healthy fresh sweet mountain

air of Terminalia.

..half your family is in the armed forces.

.. you dont have to worry about too many gambling addictions as all forms of

gambling outside betting on horse, dog or any other sort of

animal/bird/fish/whatever racing, is illegal.


..there is the latest assault automatic rifle, and a box of grenades in your

house provided after assessment by the government.


..you can understand what everyones saying, as everyone speaks Termish.

..if your bored at night you can take the family down to the local square for a

pleasant outdoor meal and watch the criminals get executed under the

guilotine.


.. dog keeping is encouraged, in fact in some parts of Terminalia, like the

deep south it is in fact, compulsory.

..the dogs are encouraged to be huge and bred for that purpose, indeed one

horse 'dish licker,' was disqualified as the winner of the Termdon City Cup in

2002, when it was found out afterwards to be in fact, a large greyhound.


..anyone found abusing a dog in Terminalia thats outside any disciplinary

measures, is sentenced to five years hard labour.


..cats are illegal in most of Terminalia, the North grudgingly condones them,

where an estimated 30% of the population owns one or two, (two being the

limit) but insists on them being kept indoors, any cat found outside is put

down, unless the owner can come up with the ten thousand $T fine within 6

hours notice.

Most cat owners in Northern Terminalia, people like you and me,

keep their precious cats in hugely caged areas within the family courtyard,

and play with them in there, but neverless, always keep a spare 10,000

around just in case.



.. big meals, and I mean big, are the norm.

Three times a day, no anorexia here allowed whatsoever.

Breakfast- porridge, followed by some eggs and bacon, a grilled tomato,

mushrooms and some toast smeared with vegemite, washed down with tea,

fruitjuice and coffee.

Lunch- pickles with cheese and ham on rye usually, fruit, salad, washed down

with a tea or coffee.

Dinner- usually a roast meal involving a beast of some sort,lamb, veal or

poultry covered in gravy, roast veges and bread.

Sometimes a seafood smorgasboard instead.

Washed down with ale, liquor and coffee, desert as well.



.. homosexuality is frowned apon across the nation as an unhealthy and silly

choice of lifestyle, gays of both sexes, no matter what their position in

society, are sent to special one year long redneck camps and seminars, to

be 'straightened' out.

If this fails they are expelled from the country, and face a market square

flogging of twenty lashes with the 'cat o nines ' and a possible guillotining

afterwards, if they are sighted within Terminalias boundarys again.



..festivals that last up to a week depending on what part of Terminalia your

in, for instance Eastern and Southern Termies celebrate Octoberfest for two

weeks of the month of October, while Eastern and Northern Termies have it

for only a week.

Central Termies, known for their seriousness, place little

significance on any holidays and give it its usual two day allotment.


..Northern Termies also celebrate a strange holiday, known as Cat Gra, this is

only celebrated in the Northern areas of Terminalia, where the cat owners

are allowed to bring their cat(s) outside of the house, under strict supervision

of course, for one day only.

This culminates at 6pm to 8pm, when the cats are paraded to a cacaphony

of clashing cymbals, horns and drums, down the main street of the town\city,

and hoisted up on jewelled platforms, six feet above the owners heads.

These festivals attracts huge crowds of people from all over the world, and

is a huge dollar maker for the economy, anyone at all found to be harrassing

the cats or their owners in any way, could depending on the seriousness of

the harrassment, face up to ten years hard labour.


..you dont have to worry about getting run over, as there are no cars etc in

Terminalia.



..you dont have to worry about animal liberation, as all battery farming is

illegal.


.. polyester products are banned, all clothes must be natural materials only,

not in any way synthetic.


.. all dancing is held out doors and surrounded by tables groaning under the

weight of roast animals, vegetables, fruit and seafood.


.. beer, the national drink is served in four litre aluminium tankards, and

bought around at these dances by buxom wenches, ahh... the invigorating

taste, of Termy ale or lager.


.. the national drink, beer, is a heady 16%, and fights between foriegners are

known to break out regularly at festivals, after they have barely finished only

one tankard.

One beer screamers they are called jokingly by Terminalians.

The average Terminalian however, is bought up on beer

from birth, and therefore made of much sterner stuff, and usually doesnt get

fist itchy until well after the 4th tankard.


.. you dont have to worry about your kids whining and screaming abuse at

you as smacking is encouraged, and if you cant smack them hard enough

some one else with your permission will do it for you.


.. you dont have to worry about a nagging wife, as any one found to be too

much on the ear, can be fitted by a sheriff with a tounge clamp, for

a two day period.


.. doorknocking, marketing a product in public, telecanvassing etc is illegal.


..a trip to the Zoo of Terminalia can only be experienced by air lifts equipped

with toilets and bar a safe twenty feet above the ground, as we believe all

zoos should reflect their natural habitats, therefore all animals are allowed

to live naturally in them and roam where ever they please within the ten

square mile area, surrounded of course by a deep river, then a thirty foot

concrete wall reinforced with galvanised steel, and plasticiser bonds twenty

feet thick.


.. you get too drunk in a pub and pass out(there are no clubs) you are

thrown into a do not disturb room to sleep it off.


..you dont have to worry about your kids getting addicted to drugs as any

one caught dealing drugs is tried, and if found guilty.. sssssssshonk!


..all the kids you see are fit and glowing with heath, as junkfood is banned,

and any kids found to be overweight or unfit are sent to sportsland for 6

months.


.. sport is compulsory for all kids from the age of 5 to 16.

.. Rugby League is the national game and played by both sexes ( not mixed -

but)

.. safaris are actively encouraged, and special zones in the wilds of Terminalia

are set aside for this purpose.

Venison Hill and Gazelle hell, are favourite spots for people wanting to shoot

some game, while for the more serious hunter, Terminalias safari parks offer

Lion, Tiger and of course Elephant.

Of course we love and cherish our wildlife, so only carefully selected full

grown male animals, or old females are allowed to be shot, anyone shooting

anything else faces five to ten years hard labour, or a huge fine.

A three day Safari, all lodging, food, beer, gun hire and ammo, and kill or

none, will cost 2000.

T a head, or 1500 for a four or more group discount.

Exciting wild animals from all over the world, are let loose within a carefully

guarded and watched perimeter.

Father and son days, or a boys weekend, are especially welcome here.

Anything you bring down, must be left where it lies, no tropheys or photos.

You can bring your own guns provided they pass our strict inspection laws.



.. kids only have to go to school from the age of eight to 16.

..universitys are run by Christian monstarys only, and are all situated near

high seaside cliffs.


.. any religon is actively encouraged, provided they prove each year they are

beneficial to the community, doorknocking for them however, is illegal.


.. the ultimate head of each family is the Father, and can in fact drive his

whole family from the home if they displease him when ever he likes, no

questions asked.


..anyone found to have an incurable disease is put on an island five miles

offshore in quarantine, and of course given the best medical help.

They have ten years to get better, or are put to sleep.


.. you dont have to worry about child molesters or rapists, as any found

guilty are taken down to a guilotine etc


..there are no shopping centres.

.. there are no malls either.

..there are just town squares.


.. the only motorised transport are trains which can only be steam( because

their more interesting and inspiring to look at)

and planes, propeller driven only for civilian and industry, military have

access to the latest in technology only.


..military service is compulsory for all Terminalian males from the ages of 16

to 20.


.. you dont have to worry about pollution, as Terminalia has the strictest and

most thoughtful measures preventing this coming from any industry, which is

situated at a minimum of forty miles from any city or town or dwelling.


..all music made must be natural only, meaning no electricity involved.

..there are no radio stations either.

.. there are no TV Stations.

.. there are only black and white outdoor movies.

.. there is no internet.

You are ruled by bugs who look like kids.
When you feel the world is unfair, so you join the army to get a perspective of what unfair is.
You feel no problem with takig mind enhancing drugs, but put to death people using body enhancing ones.
If you endager the lives of millions, then fired and given a wage from the govenment.

you know youre a Harlesburgundian
If your government is prepared to go to war over the letter u it must be in flavour,colour, honour and our
your government tells you you belive these things

You know you are Turnignomipasian when...

humans give you odd looks because you are a six foot tall gnome with bulging muscles

your daily commute includes climbing steep cliffs with no equipment

your idea of a long distance vehicle is either a gnomish flying machine (from Warcraft 2) or a crag cat.


You know you are Falsifian when...

you are three feet tall standing but seven feet tall jumping

you work at the Falsifian Biomedical Research Lab

you think plants are supposed to take care of themselves

if you get your leg chopped off at work, you just drink the stuff in the test tube you are holding and it grows back


You know you are Slordarian when...

your house door has a closing mechanism made by you

you can open any lock made by humans with a piece of wire and a ladder

when you were in school, you argued who had the best flying machine

you have a cannon in your back yard that is capable of pinpoint accuracy at a range of ten miles

you would make ballistic missles in your spare time if it wasn't too boring

You know you're a Freak of Heartlandian if

You've never seen the sun.
You work on a farm that has eight barns each of which is filled with airplanes for casual warfare.
Your crops are black and so are you're intestines.
You speak something like English but it isn't exactly i.e. Loo' a dat leezard on dat der rocka. He gonna' be a fine yungin'.
You've mated with a lizard woman
You're so pale you get lost in snow. But it never snows so you're fine.
Your grandparents didn't die their souls were just moved into the bodies of giant mechanical ravens.
Your two favorite sports are Mumblin' Peg and Reaux Chambeaux. With fire flying being a close third (fire flying is when one spreads his/her wings and flies through rings that were set on fire and then levitated into the air.)
Your forehead protrudes ever so slightly.
Your great-grandfather has graduated from giant mechanical raven to a vampire.
Your great-great grandfather disappeared the moment you were born.
You sometimes find yourself sexually attracted to fire. Then after you have sex with it you're fine.
Your great-great grandmother became a boulder or something along those lines.

You know you're a Harlesburgite
if you blame Martin Luther for almost everything wrong in the world.
Puritantism is just another word for raping of culture.
Protestants are the devils minions.
No one seems to know who the minister of Foriegn Affairs is.
Or cares.

You know you're JiangGuorian when:

1) You can name all 250 major retail outlets in JiangGuo, their CEOs and their entire list of executive board members - purely from memory.

2) You know that anything ever industrially-produced can be purchased within your nation - its just a matter of price (yes, even weapons of mass destruction)

3) You know that even with unique unreproducible objects (eg. artwork originals, historical relics), theres always someone willing to 'aquire' it for you - for the right price

continued:

you know you're JiangGuorian when:

4) When you see your navy's sea-forts, you mistake them for islands

5) If you ask everyone around you who they work for in a fast-food restaurant, one in nine will say "I'm not at liberty to say."

6) Your childern, despite being under the age of ten, knows the details of special theory of relativity/molecular biology/quantum matrix algebra

You know you're in Asurnahb if:

1) A "Freedom" celebration is held at the Capitol, in which all of the participants scream, shout profanities, and protest in the face of the King. The King replies by flipping the bird and letting out a well-placed F-word. Everyone cheers afterwards.

2) Your local government official is also the Leader of the "Two-Wheeled Hell" Biker Gang.
...and your town's religious Elder.

3) The only difference between you and law enforcement is that they wear badges.

4) You love your government becuase they let you do whatever you want.

5) You hate your government for letting others do what they want.

6) You try to ponder the Anarchaic state of your Nation's government, wondering how everything stays together...and soon die from a brain hemerage.

7) You hate what someone does with a passion, but support their right to do it.
...and they support your right to hate them.

8) Your 6 year old child knows how to safely operate a loaded weapon.
...and you have to ask them for help in taking the Safety off.

9) You join the Asurnahbian Army for lack of anything else to do.
...and you really, really like the uniforms.

10) The only insentive to join the Army is the fact that you get paid for doing something you usualy do for free.

You know you're a Harlesburgian...
If you think Freedom,Democracy and Peace are privliges not rights

You Know your sephriothian when..

you are a bezerker
You have a dislike for cam III
You adress the elders as sirs and master
You carry a plasma cannon
You seem to be unstopable
You can run 2000 km
You like the colors , Blood red, and black.
You dream that you had just killed the cammian Leader.

You Know your sephriothian when..

you are a bezerker
You have a dislike for cam III
You adress the elders as sirs and master
You carry a plasma cannon
You seem to be unstopable
You can run 2000 km
You like the colors , Blood red, and black.
You dream that you had just killed the cammian Leader.

I assume sephriothians also suffer from compensation issues?

~ Ministry for ooc affairs and outright curiosity, DA

You know youre a Homestarian when...

*Your main election issue is 'Fluffypuff Marshmallows'
*Your smartest answer is 'Seriously, you guys...'
*The Opposition Leader, Strong Bad, does his scroll button song...
*When the Education Minister is Homsar
*Marzipan handles the Environmental post
*Bubs sells you Strong Badia for some pencil shavings
*The most popular TV show is 'Sweet Cuppin' Cakes'
*Trogdor outsells any other Amiga game in the country
*The Great Depression was referred to as Strong Sad

You might still be a Syskeyian if...

...you have argued vehemently that Bonker D. Bobcat (of the infamous Disney cartoon Bonkers) is the Antichrist.

...in Latin.

...with citations from Scripture, the Church Fathers, and St. Thomas Aquinas to back it up.

...you'd go vacationing on St. Peter Claver Island, except for the fact that Eurusea's attacking it right now.

...you have relatives on Mars.

...the mere phrase "racial purity" makes you laugh out loud.

You may be a Generian if:

You have slaves from a conquered nation lick up ashes from your expensive Cuban cigar at a human rights conference.

You know you mgiht be Phalanixian when...
You're home is split in two for a nuclear missle to launch from your basement..
You can't go anywhere without getting a gun pointed at you....
Seeing massive mechs directing traffic is a comon thing....
You think that New York or Tokyo are small compaired to your cities (they are about 20-55 miles... each)
You've killed a terrorist at age 4....
The military used grandpa to test there new blast doors....
You're best friend is your 9mm...
You can't sleep due to the damn civil wars....
You see a hobo run around screaming he's satan....

You know your Neo-Wuwian when...
...You haven't seen a foreigner in 5 years, due to the nation's foreigner policy
...When you wake up in one of the most powerful nations in the world
...When you see the morning news, talking about another military operation inside Neo-Wu
...When your nation has more people in the military, then the entire population of other nations.
...When you see the morning news of a Jirridian embargo being foiled completely.
Ill think of more later

You Know your sephriothian when..

you are a bezerker
You have a dislike for cam III
You adress the elders as sirs and master
You carry a plasma cannon
You seem to be unstopable
You can run 2000 km
You like the colors , Blood red, and black.
You dream that you had just killed the cammian Leader.

Learn to spell COLOUR

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=color

boo to the british commonwealth

most ns player are American and we spell it the correct (American) way
c o l o r

You know you might be a Schultarian if...

...you can speak and read three different languages, yet none of them have any meaning outside of your family or job.

...the idea of having "spending money" has never crossed your mind since the government provides everything at no cost.

...spending a fifteen billion dollars for a new 90 story apartment complex is considered to be a "cheap slum".

...reading Schultarian Symbolic makes finishing the New York Times Crossword Puzzle look easy.

...you revere anyone 5' 9" and over due to their stupendous height.

...your family has owned the same apartment for more than 120 years.

You know when you are an ITD citizen when
1. You have never seen an occupying power.
2. You have, however, been an occupying power.
3. You bought a brand new car for target practice.
4. You have personally shot and killed a relative.
5. You used to rob stores and gas stations in your youth, but have ceased doing so after the government hired you.
6. You have no idea what "ethnic groups" are because your entire society is based on tribes.
7. You are an extreme nationalist.
8. You are an extreme imperialist.
9. You scoff at the worlds notion of "human rights."
10. Revenge is a dish best served with a red wine and arsenic.
11. You swoon over the Emperor, if you are female.
12. You claim to have seen the Empress nude, but disapeer from your home the same night.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=color

boo to the british commonwealth

most ns player are American and we spell it the correct (American) way
c o l o r

Please you must have picked it up off 'ignant' Eastern European 'imgrants' like Erbs instead of Herbs
Theyll be a war over it one day

and we will win cuz we have more guns

You know you are from Daistallia 2104 when:
- you have ancestors who dissapeared in the White Fog.
- your neighbors are sentient cows, and you find that pretty cool, but yoa are bothered because they are communists.
- you are confused by the idea of an income tax.
- you know someone who was executed for theft.
- the members of your local Buddhist sangha are also the members of your local militia platoon.
- the candidates for your local government include a sentient cow, a sentient dolphin, a sentient octopus, and a computer.
- you have a long heart-to-heart with your bookie at least once a day.
- you live on pizza and coke.
- "How's business?" is a typical greeting, but is considered rude by neighboring nations.
- you are surprised by tourists who go unarmed - unless they are wearing Buddhist robes, in which case you bow to them and give them a great deal of respect.
- you drink grain alcohol and smoke some of the finest marijuana, opium, or crack cocaine available, but would never ever drive or operate heavy machinery under the influance, due to the dire consequences.
- a typical meal measures 5000+ Scovilles (http://www.chemsoc.org/exemplarchem/entries/mbellringer/scoville.htm)
- nuc mon fondue make good sense.
- you speak Daistallian, plus Swiss-German, Mandarin, English, Korean, Japanese, Thai, and/or Vietnamese, (at least four languages) as a matter of course, and are surprised if you meet someone who doesn't.
- chewing tobacco, qat, or coca leaves are included in your sack lunch, even in high school.
- the high school cafeteria serves beer, cocktails, and hard drugs.
- your favorite band is the Dead Lamas.
- you can trace a family connection to the Swiss mercenaies guarding the vatican.
- you know what a Lish is, and have barbequed one.
- you think trout barbequed in a habanero sauce is great.
- your marriage contract includes 17 people (including 5 non-humans).
- you spent 6 months in military basic training in order to be able to vote.
- you never saw a fist fight in school, because all that was settled in martial arts class.
- you were ever hospitilaized from participation in PE (martial arts) class at school.
- you've ever spent more than $10,000 in a single month on gambling expenses.

(more to come?)

6. You have no idea what "ethnic groups" are because your entire society is based on tribes.


In Africa, tribe and ethnic group are basically synonymous.

You are Randomean if:

You don't know what a gun is (unless you are in the Secret Service or the Armed Police)
You have never seen the Armed Police in action.
Everyone knows and uses the latest technology, but they traded it for two cows because the currency is basically useless.
The Country is run by a Government who usually delegates its decisions to the Queen, or at the least confers.
There is not enough room on the Island for the whole population, as building new houses is almost impossible, and the forest protected.
The forest intrudes into the cities, along with its population of dragons.
The Government takes a hard line on big issues and on trivial ones too.
The Government is torn between making life better for its citizens and protecting its environment.
Corporal businesses are depised, the Government makes sure any profits go back to the community.
Everyone has equal rights, which means sometimes no-one has any, or people who do not need them have them.
You receive one of the best education in the World, but do not realise that hating businesses is isolating the country.
Despite having a peaceful, intelligent community, you just are not happy.
Doctors, lawyers and other such careers are extremely popular, but each of them have their own or share a little farm, as growing your food for yourself is all the rage.
The Fire-service has the most funding, due to the 'burgeoning dragon population.'
The gaols stand empty as no-one even bothers to break the law, except for graphitti artists, although their punishment tends to involve more community service tasks, like cleaning out the sewers.
The social heirarchy is intelligence based, therefore many positions are taken by women, although the Prime Minister is traditionally male. It therefore appears to be a matriachal society.
Your purse would probably cost more Sprite Caps than it could hold.

OOC: Some lowlife angry bastard have to take cheap shots at the Sinoese just to feel good.

No, Der Angst is one of the oldest and most renowned RPers on NS. He does have some good points. Your RPing seem to rely on an over-abudance of pictures (esp. from OMGSINODEFENCE.COM (www.sinodefence.com)), it seems that you have an obsession with guns, weaponry, and the military, and you posted a BUMP very soon after your thread was posted.

I might come up with some more "Syskeyian Stereotypes" later. :)

and we will win cuz we have more guns

For some reason Nazi spies will invade the east coast and actually use their Coal shaped plastic explosives etc and blow up your weapons mwahhahahaha

*Cough's Loudly*

You Know your a Harlesburgian
if you believe in world peace but only under Harlesburg rule
Eggplant is banned except on Pizza
Tomato Sauce is next to a religion
Each family most keep a Rambouilet in the back yard

You Know your from Harlesburg when
Dinner is on the table
Clean socks is a normal day

You know your from Harlesburg when you try and wip a thread to death :D

You know you're a Colonial when...


...You hope that one day, income tax will drop to below 50%

...You live in the city, so you haven't seen a tree in about 6 months

...You (as a woman) wear high heels everywhere

...You (as a man or a woman) wear combat boots everywhere

...You dream that one day world peace will be a reality, but your company exports cruise missiles in exchange for wheat. You fail to see any problems with this

...You like to think that putting on a fedora (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/JC_Denton/96c1d557.gif) hat and trenchcoat makes you look 'mysterious'

...You support foreign aid programs run by the government - as long as the recipient supports free-trade

...You believe that the United Nations works for the betterment of mankind - except when your government and the UN don't agree. Then, they can go to hell

...You tell jokes about Muslims at the office, but are deeply offended when someone else makes a joke about Black Colonials, Asian Colonials, or any other minority group

...You enjoy Cassiopeian Liqueur, but get drunk after 2 glasses

You know your Chronosian When:

Your fifteenth birthday was spent learning the pros and cons of Lasguns.

You find skulls hidden in your Khornate Neighbours gardens.

Puberty was accompanied by unannounced mutation.

You aced PE, Religious Education, English and Basic Combat Training; but failed Maths.

You find yourself wondering why you wake up covered in blood on some distant battlefield; only to find you've been conscripted.

You're best friends were an Imp of Slaanesh who no one could see, a 6'0" killing machine and a tech priest who thought he was an I Pod

You know you are a gyrobotian when...

-You shoot up anyone who thinks dictators are great
-You have a liking of rap
-You always go for giangantic lasers of death
-You love guns
-You believe human rights and democracy are achieved through war
-You beat little children that acts dumb
-You have ablism issues and have at least one assualt charge based on that
-You are paranoid about aspiring dictators
-You believe that corporations should generally be above the law in terms of government and trading with evil maniacs so that your economy isnt based on lemonade
-You start an event yet almost no one gives a damn about it except for a few.

You know you are an Avalyic when:

Income is the 20 toknahs a month the government gives you back after taxes

You do not know what it means to pay out of pocket

You find yourself surrounded by unusually well educated farmers

You do not understand how one can live without a highly complex execu-legislative branch to make laws

You think everyone else is barbaric and uncivilized

You think that only the most moronic people know just two languages

The libertarian party is appealing to your socialist farming commune

You do not judge anyone unless they have already mortally wounded you

You have never left your region yet know a foreign language

Everything has a diplomatic solution

You and your entire village are in the national guard even though your region is inland and surrounded by allies and you don't remember if Avalya ever fought a war.

You think Avus is a godlike figure and you're Christain

You think Christ is a godlike figure and you're Avist

You don't find the concept of lemurs living in a temperate zone weird.

Hockey finals week is a national holiday

Your 4th grader is studying quantum physics

You consider political parties that would be centrist anywhere else to be "far right-wing wackos"

Your town has a moose crossing sign on every street corner

You know 101 recipes for lobster -- and have tried each of them

You think your millitaristic neighbors across the border are "a bunch of funny guys, but they just don't get it"

Your favorite radio show is the "Anti-government hour" even though you support the government

You have full medical and dental coverage from the government, and don't mind paying 99% of your income to get it

You think Birkenstocks are appropriate footwear for formal occasions

Your kids don't even know what crime is

You don't think it odd that your country's drive for independence started at a rock concert

The happiest day of the year is the day when your refund check from the government comes

You wait each year for winter to come so you can go ice fishing, because it still hasn't occurred to you that you could fish in a lake that isn't frozen

You've never actually seen a lake that isn't frozen

You turn on the air conditioner as soon as the temperature reaches 15C

If asked to list your hobbies you say "hockey, camping, fishing and taking potshots at conservatives"

Your house and your car are both solar powered, and they actually run efficiently

You don't want to kill every street performer you see

Your city spent more on the skateboarding park than on the jail

You can recite Shakespeare from memory, but also know every Monty Python skit

You can't believe that everybody doesn't speak three languages

You majored in Arts or Humanities in college so you'd fit in with everyone else

You still say "groovy", and no one laughs at you

Your High School offered courses in both wave-particle duality and "How to 'find' yourself"

You take being called a "god-damned hippie" as a complement

You know when you're a Gaian when:

~ When you think a journey of a million light-years is considered a 'short hop'.
~ That being tree huggers is the height of good form.
~ When your parents get you an angelic for a best friend.
~ When you find out your parents are related to your king.
~ When you find out your parents will still be there for BBQs on their 15,000th birthday.
~ When they find out you wanted pasta instead. =--=;;;
~ When being called an idealist as an insult, only means a joke to you.
~ That being good at math is 'better' than piloting a mech.
~ If you want anything, push a button on a console.
~ ...and yet you still get told about morals about pressing that button.
~ That normalcy is when you walk outside your door.
~ ...and find an Ascendant walking out hers.
~ That there are educational classes on romance 'and' Home Ecc.
~ When you try to talk like an old fart, and find you 'can't' get old enough to do it.
~ You can tell others what death was like, and they can 'relate'.
~ That the artifical babes are just as real and acceptable as the real ones.
~ You have five kids, all born in 'different' ways.
~ You like being a good guy, and frown at the bad guys for 'real'.
~ You remember the positions of the stars in the sky over your birth world were 'different' than they once were.
~ When Poets are paied better than sports personalities.
~ When you're called a Knight for simply helping fix a roof after a storm.
~ Can't understand a language? Try one of twenty others. (at least...)
~ You have enemies that become friends, become enemies, then friends, and back and forth at least ten more times.
~ Dressing fancy and formal is in style in normal life.
~ That you can't help but see the universe as 'small'.
~ You read a book on a data-Padd about 'Dummies guide to being convincingly Dumb.' because being smart is too common.
~ You need to find someone to remind you what money is for again.
~ You know what love means, no matter how numerous it gets.

You know you're a Sarzonian when...

You see people wearing naval uniforms even if they're not in the Navy.
Your heart beats faster every time you see a sailing ship.
Hearing a carronade fire gets you excited.
Even seeing your team lose a friendly with their eighth choice side against the world's second ranked team pisses you off.
Saying "Inkana" gets you dirty looks from veterans.
Saying "Pantera" draws a smile from a grizzled veteran.
You wonder if you should salute the Praetonian flag as well as the Sarzonian flag.
You're requried to take Latin to communicate both with your closest ally and your most bitter enemy.
Stevie Nicks wrote every important song in your nation's history.

You know you're a Sarzonian when...

You got used to the Stars losing against the Orange-Blues


(Sorry, could not resist!)

You know you're a Kahanistanian when:

* You actually like the taste of siege rations.
* You never leave home without your OICW and 500 rounds of ammo.
* You're 40 years old and never married or had children.
* You're terrified of being invaded as soon as the current war is over.
* You wonder why the international community hates your country.
* You prefer to live in a bomb shelter over a normal apartment.
* Your PC is EMP-hardened.
* You wear NBC whenever you go outside your apartment.
* Your idea of a date is to take someone to an underground corridor.
* You drive a tank-like vehicle with mounted machine guns.

You know you're Jenrakian when...

...you're an elitist bastard.
...you get tired of beaches.
...you pray eight times a day.
...you steal things some foreign nations only to get caught.
...you try to reason your way out when you're caught.
...you think suicide is the right thing for anything that's not you.

You know you're an Amazonian when...

-You hate all traitors
-You believe in capital punishment for misdemeanors
-You believe the government is second only to God
-You eat meat and hate environmentalists
-You love war
-You own a gun, a hound dog, and have clam bakes (ie Redneck)
-You shoot somebody if they disagree with you
-You hate bikers and regularly run them over

You know you're a Comatic when...
--You start to believe anti-communist propaganda
--You scope out people in a crowded room for possible terror threats
--You've been stopped more than once on the street by the Internal Investigation Service of Comatica for various questioning
--You've served jail time for illegal broadcasting licenses
--You salute the American flag with your middle finger (Comatics hate Americans)

You know you're a Pacitalian when:

- you think the World Cup is a big waste of time and political energy.
- you're so neutral you end up trying to test both your allies and your enemies, with sexy results.
- you prefer a spec-ops assault over a naval assault.
- you eat enough good food you... don't explode but want MORE!
- you drink enough sambuca to mistake a jellyfish for something you put on toast.
- you're elitist and pragmatist.
- you win a political debate.
- you start using doura by accident, even if you try not to.
- you start closing your letters with the salutation "Sincera in domina bene".
- you believe human rights and democracy can be achieved through making fun of the country in question.
- you start wearing a speedo on the beach.



You know you're a Sarzonian when:

- you get used to the superiority of Pacitalian football.

(I couldn't resist either. :p haha...)

You know your Soviet Usean when...

-You have 500-600 hr. flight time
-You love the state more than your home
-You can Recite the Usea-Jason anthem in all languages
-You can name every plane that flies overhead
-You critisize torest who ask,"Where's the gas station?"
-You selebrate the SSu's Birthday
-You own several Chocobos(Nat.Bird)
-You Eat several Chocobo's(Pop.Meal)
-You think that Capitolism is something to scare little kids
-You go to a Art musiem to see propagainda posters

You know you're a Generian when:

-You kick people in the balls for making dumb inside jokes
-You kill a bear with your bare hands because you think alliteration and rhyme are amusing. That and there are a fuckload of bears in Generia.
-You rock and roll all night and party every day.
-You do that last one more often than the guy nextdoor and brag about it.
-You know that Slash is God.
-You routinely break out your ax and wail just because you can.
-You have participated in a riot following a Machine Gun concert.
-Your first words were Emperor Antonius.
-Your favorite television show is "Name That Venerial Disease."
-You quaff three gallons of Black Death Vodka without thinking much of it.
-You do that in place of coffee before heading for work.
-Most of your formal education was sponsored by a major corporation.
-You vacation on the Buchianan Border to test out your new high powered assault weapon on illegal border crossers.
-You once constructed a magnificent house of cards from empty shell casings, condom wrappers, and straight vodka. Fuck cards.
-You know all the words to every great rock song ever written, and you'll scat the guitar solos.
-Air Guitar is your favorite Olympic Sport.
-You have a pack of cigarettes taped to the box of condoms taped to your ankle.
-You once ate a vegetarian for irony.
-You vacation in Mass Pwnage because you enjoy forgetting six weeks of your life and waking up beside a pair of twin 14 year old hookers, your head shaved, and a long syringe protruding from your jugular.
-You have shot vodka directly into your veins, then checked yourself wondering why you just didn't drink it instead.
-You are a card carrying member of The Evil Dictator's Lounge and Gentleman's Club.
-You once beat a man to death for sporting a Yuri's Guitar Emporium bumper sticker.
-You have "Ivan's Guitar Dungeon" tattooed on your face.
-The hair on your head would be of great use to prison inmates looking to escape from a fourth story cell.
-The hair on your chest would be of great use to someone in need of a tow.
-You have been set on fire at least twice in your lifetime.
-You check the paper to find out which side to root for in the Civil War.
-You have made at least $200 speculating on the outcome of a civil war.
-You have started a civil war.
-You have punched a communist baby.
-You rock harder than anyone could ever hope to rock. Ever.

You Know You're From MassPwnage When:

*You're high. You're high all the time.
*You're high right now.
*You have a serious drug problem, but nobody cares.
*Nobody cares because they're too busy getting high with you.
*The sky is not blue, it's a psychedelic rainbow.
*You're don't get hungry, you get the munchies.
*Hemp is not an abnormal clothing material.
*You not only swing both ways, you swing side to side and up and down as well.
*You have sex with complete strangers.
*You have children you don't know about.
*You were raised in a government commune, because you don't know who your parents are.
*You know what a lizardman is
*You have mated with a lizardman.
*You ARE a lizardman.
*The air quality in most other nations makes you sick.
*You're high all the time.
*You speak and comprehend languages you have never spoken before.
*You do so while high.
*You have a doctorate in infinitely advanced quantum physics, abstract metaphilosophy, Ancient Praetonian literature, or some other obscure subject.
*You regular play chicken with man eating strangler figs.
*You know someone that died while playing chicken with a man eating strangler fig.
*You have never seen a pig without wings before.
*You have had sex with at least one Camel Eater
*You never run out of drugs.
*You have had sex with at least one Generian
*You wake up in the bed of someone you've never seen before in your life, and you find it to be perfectly normal.
*You smell good.
*You own a meter long wasp.
*You have a poor short term memory.
*You pay your taxes in foreign currencies
*You have foreign currency exchange rates memorized by heart.
*You want your sons to become one with the souls of the dead by consuming their flesh.
*You want your daughters to play death metal.
*Above all, you want your children to be more intoxicated than you are.
*You go to Upper Xen for the headcrab sushi
*Not much changes about you after you become a zombie.
*Rehab is an entirely foreign concept.
*Drugs are sold in vending machines.
*So is used womens underwear
*So are prostitutes.
*Underage ones.
*Rape is ok.
*Even if you're on the recieving end, as long as the rapist knows what he/she is doing.
*You have condoms on you all the time.
*You would gladly sniff glue, but you think cigarettes are disgusting.
*You have a poor short term memory.
*You have a poor short term memory.
*You own a gun.
*You will win a Darwin Award for shooting yourself with said gun while high.
*You watch SpongeBong HempPants
*You UNDERSTAND SpongeBong HempPants
*You have at least 10 STDs.
*You are truly one with the Universe.
*If you're not, you remember that you need to take another hit.
*You have seen orgies that block traffic during rush hour.
*You participate in such orgies.
*You don't know what gender you are, you don't particularly care either.
*You don't care if a six inch long mosquito sucks your blood.
*You have challenged a Generian to an air guitar contest.
*You have a poor short term memory.
*You also have a poor long term memory.
*New Age hippie rituals always involve weird and lethal blood magic for some reason.
*You join the military to participate in weird and lethal New Age hippie rituals.
*You're high. You're high all the time.

You Know your Parthian when....

-You bought a dissident slave to torture
-Your 8 year old son has a machinegun
-Your 17 year old son bought a plane ticket to Masspwnage for several weeks of debauchery
-You own a portrait of the Shah
-You drink wine by the bottle
-You own barrels of wine in the cellar
-You actually drank one by yourself over time
-You love poetry, but think all poets writing in anything but Farsi are not poets
-You drive a car which measures gas in gallons per mile
-You complain about 45 cents per gallon gasoline
-You chainsmoke a hookah
-Your children do too
-You hunt with a .50 cal and call it a gentleman's sport
-Your so proud of your national history, you murder people who dislike it
-You got a medal for doing so
-You ever assisted police in a firefight
-You shot an Arab child for stealing chewing gum and bragged about it
-You own a Shooban slave who you refuse to teach Farsi and communicate to it with English
-You murdered a Shooban infant
-You think that all change from the status quo is awful and must be avoided
-You think democracy is rule by a mob of peasants who install and kill despots at their whim
-You think Absolue monarchy is the best system
-You are materialistic, self serving, and love it

You know when you're a Shalaaman when
- You speak Arabic and Hebrew fluently, but not English
- 1 G feels heavy
- Your mental picture of Mecca or Jerusalem includes a fresh coating of snow.
- You own a Hebrew translation of the Koran
- You own an Arabic translation of the Bible
- You have never met a Christian
- You think religion and democracy are fully compatible
- Whenever you hear the national anthem, you start to clap with the rythym
- You believe in the "Divine Right of the People"
- You have never visited a rocky planet
- For men: If you come home late, you recieve a thorough chastisement from all four of your wives.
- "Space food" means dried falafel.

But the best one of all:
- You can't understand why the Israelis and Arabs couldn't get along back on Earth.

You might just be a Sandeyan when:
¤Your child's first kill is as important to you as his/her first words and first steps.
¤Your child's first steps took place when he/she was less then three months old.
¤You've never heard of God.
¤You've heard of Ikanhulta Morona Zaporanghatagh.
¤You sell your wife for spare change; you still have two more.
¤Your husband sells you for spare change; he still has two more.
¤You've never heard of vegetation.
¤You think a flood is some sort of animal.
¤You live in a cave.
¤You live in a yurt.
¤You are afraid of going outside from 11o'clock AM to 1o'clock PM because your skin would burn off and your blood would boil from intense heat.
¤You are nocturnal.
¤Government is a novel concept to you.
¤You are not suprised when your house suddenly dissapears; it probabley got buried in sand.
¤Your neighbor is twelve years old and has earned the nickname "Raunchy Randey."
¤You do not know anyone who's name does not end in the letter 'a.'
¤Locusts are a delicacy.

You know you're Nueve Italian when. . .

- You can carry on a conversation in Italian, Spanish, English, and Russian at the same time. At that's just the country hicks

- You're favorite meal is an enchilada served over a bed of linguine with a glass of pure potato vodka

- You believe that a little civil war is good for the government every now and then

- You're shocked and perturbed when someone calls you just Italian

- Your accent is considered a different language in several thousand countries

- You call your mother and your girlfriend "Mama"

- You feel the urge to break into a Neo-Nazi rally and yell " Equality!"

- You're captured behind enemy lines, and when the enemy asks you why you were stupid enough to get captured, you retort by saying, " I'm a lover, not a fighter."

- You can't decide over an Empire, a Republic, or both

- You've realized that you've fought for and against three generations of the same ruling family

- You're as proficient in field stripping an assault rifle as you are in making pasta

- You dream of becoming a mafioso. . .until you meet one.

- You're likely to cause a riot because the ref made a bad call in the Nuovo Milan/Porto Santo football game.

- You swear only in Sicilian Italian. . .because it just sounds better

- You feel that reaching your potential will seriously cut into your sitting-down-time.

- You've never seen a crime. . .until the next civil war breaks out, that is.

- Your favorite drink is wine, but you use that "French-*%#!" only for moltov cocktails

- You fear your mother more than the police

- You fear God more than your mother

- You believe that every drop of alcohol was worth it. . .even though your next hearing is 7 years from now

- You believe liberals should be lynched

- You think that feminists who support abortion should have the politically correct term of "Feminazis"

- You hate political correctness

- You think Affirmative Action is detrimental to self-esteem and society

- You believe that you can talk your way out of any situation. And most of the time, you do

You might be from Mauvasia if:
You still think digital watches are pretty neat.
You have ever played cricket.
You understood the rules when you played cricket.
You have ever waited more than sixteen years for a government responce.
You think war is a colossal waste of time and money.
Nonetheless, you have marched off to at least one war.
You still listen to old music.
You hold parties in order to do so.
You don't remember the last time the government did something.
You don't read the newspaper.
You own a picture of any character from Star Trek or The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
You have ever dressed up as a character from one of the above or held a topical party relating to one.
You are a character from one of the above.
You own more than four cats.
You use the internet far too much for your own good.
You have a sense of naïve honour (if you are male) or patient resignation (if you are female).
You support Sarzonia in the World Cup, and nobody gives you funny looks.
You have gone insane after being boomeranged between hundreds of government departments when trying to do something absurdly simple.
You have been waiting in the lounge of the Liberal Party Headquarters for more than 2 months.
You have ever slept overnight in an airport.
Your passport is a dark shade of burgundy.
A mention of the economy brings knowing, semi-smug looks from everyone around you.
You like to read meaningless lists of trivia and figures while you could be doing something productive.

You know you are Raging Penguinsish if...

...You were orphaned before you were born.

...You were raised by an insane asylum.

...Your work clothes are usually a towel, fuzzy slippers, a mink coat and a cod-piece...

...Unless you are a member of the working class, in which case it's only the cod-piece.

...You live in a country ruled by a democratically elected Pub of Representitives, and a President who thinks the government is out to get him.

...You've never, ever, in your entire life, participated in an election, nor have you ever heard of anyone whos ever heard of any election occuring during their lifetime.

...Nobody remembers how the president gained his office.

...Your boss is a Flghtless bird.

...Your boss has red, gleaming, beady eyes, and goes on homicidal rampages whenever pay-day comes around.

...Your brother has more noses than you, and often teases you about this fact, although you can retaliate by pointing out that you have three more elbows than he does.

...You can't understand why people from other countries are confused when you discreetly point at a group of men in robes and warn them about the foriegners.

...You have more scar tissue on your arms than hair on your head and more joints in your ears than in your feet.

...The worst punishment your government can come up with is to put criminals on the football(soccer) team.

...The army is often called in to supervise formal school dances.

...The army possesses less firearms than you possess brains.

...The best student in your graduating class was a three inch slime mold with glasses.

...You regularily drink mixtures of Crude oil, Water, and Sodium.

...Your grandmother is younger than you.

...You are named after the number of toes you have, minus the color of your eyes, multiplied by the letters in the national motto.

.......
I could go on, and on...

You Know you are an Aqua Anuien when...

The Ocean and everything about water is your life and passion

Your Rain Coat hangs out day in and day out

You have no winter clothes

Two Words: Public Nudity

You wear skimpy clothes, even if you are Religous or belive in modesty

You love Humidty

You take cold showers

You bath in the ocean

Hurricanes are your greatest fear

You live in Mac Anu but you work on Aquatica

You work at the Hydro Processing Plant in Mac Anu

You fish

You don't have a dream car, you have a dream boat

Your Romantic Date is sitting on the beach watching the waves roll in

Other Romanitc Dates include: Watching Thunder Storms go by, setting sail in a storm, fishing

Your idea of extreem sports is surfing and wind surfing

You know you come from the Beltway if...

You get mad when people don't call you American or your country America.
You dislike Lockheed and other arms manufacturers, but own shares of their stocks because, well, they're American companies.
You wonder why you never moved to Sarzonia before the Collapse.
You shudder at the name "Zoellick."
You can recognize the Stars and Stripes much better than your own flag.
When traveling, you eat at McDonald's, but when at home, you wouldn't be caught dead there.
You still hate Duke, even though it no longer plays college basketball.
You snicker and grin evilly whenever you walk past embassies of other successor states in North America, and are tempted to say, "We'll be taking you over someday."
You've drunkenly remarked that the Collapse was good in that it meant that Bush was finally gone.
You are proud of the police force, although you still are a tad nervous that they'll shoot you by accident.
Your nation doesn't really have a climate so much as a humid season and a cold season.
You've had to tell your child that cherry blossoms and pandas are not native to America.

You know you're Southeast Asian when:

Your nation's Prime Minister uses American English and the majority of the nation doesn't.
When you support LKY's "Asian values" and preach to non-Southeast Asians about adopting them and implanting them in use for their own country, you get funny looks from foreigners because it only works given the right environment.
You are uberly pacifistic and tolerant.
You get funny looks when you worship both Halberdgardia and the USA and believe that the two nations are absolutely different.
You are rabidly anti-corporatist and absolutely despise globalization.
You know a lot about botany.
You have a good knowledge of history.
Etc, etc....loads of other RL Southeast Asian stereotypes....too many to list!

You know you're Chronosian when...

Having stripped and re-fitted your lasgun, run 15 laps around the house, performed at least one act of unimaginable perversion and killed at least 5 people, you can declare yourself ready to start the day.

You punish a foreign culture who insult your Gods with Exterminatus...

...Regularly...

...Twice if they're in the GFFA.

Upon mention of the Elder Races you growl, snarl, bite and scratch uncontrollably; hurl yourself at the offending person and rip his face off, before calmly retorting "What of them?"

You're parents hand-picked your friends; including the one who could make people explode; and the one who enjoyed inhaling his fellow class-mates; just so you'd be "in with the good crowd"

Killing you doesn't nessecarily mean you stay dead.

You Know your a Kravenite When:


Your entire Neighbour Hood is wearing the Same Grey Overalls
Your left arm is Barcoded, along with everyone else in the street
Everymorning your papers are Checked by a Reichmarshal, Along with everyone else
You spend the day making bullets or some other form of weaponry
The Government tells you something and you agree, regardless of how stupid it may seem
You look forward to the next Propaganda Announcment
Soylant Green tastes Nice
You belive the Capitol Police are here for your protection
You had your wife arressted because you suspected she was a Thought Criminal
You had your neighbours arressted because you suspected they were thought Criminals
You ingore the Secret Police raid across the street because you thought they had it coming to them
You feel Proud when a Reichmarshal tells you, you've done well
You Salute the Kraven Banner every morning and Feel Damn Proud about it too
You can't get to sleep unless you hear the Goosestepping Capitol Police march below your window for the 18th time that night
Nor can you sleep if you don't hear the APC roll past




Thats all I can think of right now

You know you're a Toopish Goblin when...

...you own a pet brick

...you mow your lawn and you find 20 AK-47's and 3 APC's

...your house is insulated with 3 layers of welded metal sheets

...you shower with motor oil

...you sleep next to a running engine

...your bowling trophy is made out of welded together bowling balls

...your house is welded to the ground

...you regularly run welding compititions

You know you're Allanean if:

bestiality is socially acceptable in your nation.
you drive a Blastolene Special
you hunt with a battle rifle.
you call SmartCars 'golf carts'.
you use a SmartCar as a golf car.
you installed M60's on your car...
and drove it to school.
you carry twin semi-automatic pistols and a rifle....
....to school.
you don't, but that's because you're homeschooled.
you smoke marijuana at your prom.
with your teacher.
with your parents.

You might be Hamilayan when...

... your city's largest employer is a cheese factory
... you get mugged whenever you walk to work, but no need to worry- the kids boarding the school bus will take the guy out
... you live down the road from a concrete compound, with an airstrip, barbed wire and MG towers
... it's the local primary school
... your local Air National Guard unit has one HIND, an UltraLight and three children's kites
... it's easier to get a gun license than a computer license
... You drive a Mercedes-Benz
... The beggars and panhandlers drive Fords
... There are 9 elected officials: the President and the rest of the government

You know your a Boozian when...

...You wear a trenchcoat, gasmask, helmet, glove and boots in public, and carry a rifle.

...You proudly refer to yoyrself as a member of the Xth reserve bullet sponges

...You have a tendency to patrioticly burn discos and strip clubs

...You get drunk every night, except in a hard war.

Posted for System Karela:


You know you are Systemkarelan if...
* the high priest of Karela knows best
* attack means defeat in any aspect of life
* You speak Rejistanian with a Russian accent and Russian with a Rejistanian accent
* Soccer for your religion is like shooting for zen
* Nil-Nil is good!

You might be an Isselmere-Nielander if...
you have fond memories of basic training, even though mere mention of the drill staff sends shivers down your spine
you met your wife during your National Service - she was in the neighbouring unit
despite the fact it almost always rains, you think that umbrellas are for idiots (ah, those North Atlantic winds!)
you think rainwear is sexy
you think it's perfectly normal to play football (soccer) in white-out conditions
you know football (same as above) is a contact sport
you are more likely to ask what a person is reading than what they watched on television the night before
you remember standing in front of ultraviolet lamps five days a week for three straight months as a child
you call September to March the "fish months"
you consider water of any type even coming within shouting distance of whisky/whiskey is blasphemy
until recently, you thought peas only came in cans
you think most Conservative parties support a form of welfare state
you think Anguistian sounds sexy

*bump*

You know you're an Alcalid if...
...When, after you've been clear, you feel as if you've broken a law of nature
...You become deeply upset if someone tells you to shut up
...You are of the strong opinion that any foreigner you know the name of that isn't a firend must have worked in philosophy
...That that Mao guy had it all wrong
...You are puzzled whenever politician's do not engage in complex maneuvering.
...You wonder why anyone needs to militantly ask for seccession
...One of you irrational fears is that someone, somewhere, is going without tea.

<Tag for later massive post>

You know you're a Sentient Turnip when..

You're a turnip.
You roll down the street in the morning...
And at night..
You see a Turnip wearing a pimp hat when you're rolling to work in the morning
You elect a non-sentient turnip as president
Nobody wants to eat you because you're rolling around on the ground

You know you're Yurkan if:

...You call yourself Yurkan or Yurka interchangably.

...You've never seen a foreigner in person.

...You are not aware of any gender roles in society.

...You use a unisex bathroom.

...You can trace your lineage back to one of the noble houses.

...You know for a fact that Yurka is the center of the universe.

...You own dozens of pictures of the Royal Family... In various states of undress... Of your own gender... And you're heterosexual...

...None of the above seems all to strange to your friends and family.

...You have a microchip planted within your spine to keep track of you whenever in Yurka.

...You'll never leave Yurka.

...You consider your nation and people morally superior to all other nations on NS Earth.

...You consider Democracy a phase, along with Christianity and most other foreign ideas.

...Upon reaching the age of fourteen you undergo some form of physical augmentation, whether through a tattoo, skin bleaching, etc.

...You met your future soulmate while in the Youth Patrol, which is a child army.

...You've never been involved in any type of non-government authorised criminal behavior, but are sure that all foreigners have. Because they are morally inferior.

...You spent your vacation in Baccarat, gambling, smoking Opium, and wasting more money in a brothel than you've spent on food during the previous year.

...You've never been sad before, because the Yurkan Government has pills for that.

...The government has pills for anything, one for every emotion, even some you've never even experienced before.

...Whenever you leave the cities, you roll the windows up so as not to be assaulted by the pollution, though more likely you're going by train.

...You've actually been to a tree museum, and found it quite interesting.

...The only forest you've seen was in the city of Terra, and it was government controlled. You consider that a good thing, as the Government knows how to take care of it's people.

...In school you learned how to speak three languages, kill a man efficiently in hand to hand combat... And learned how to sew the dress you wore at the Prom. You have trouble beating men off of you with a stick, which is where your combat training comes in.

You know you're a Fat Kirby when...


You're a round pink blob.

Even you have trouble telling everyone apart.

You have no immediate definable gender.

You elected the very epitome of evil as your leader.

Your idea of a snack is a couple of pigs.

Despite your diet, you are extremely light, and can actually fly by inflating yourself.

Though extremely cute by most standards, you would eat an unattended child without a second thought.

Even you have no idea how your race manages to procreate.

You consider yourself a superior race, and use your legions of edible(at least for you) slaves and minions to assist you with your far-reaching plans to eventually enslave or devour everyone on the planet.

Did I mention you're cute?

Your favorite sport is competitive eating. Unfortunately, if a spectator is invited to such an event, there is very little chance of them ever making it out with their lives.

The world fears you. O_O

You know you're a Prussiatopian when

- your dictator doesn't allow you to express the simplest signs of the need for democracy
- you speak in C++ or PHP code
- the world thinks it's bigger than you could ever hope to be.

You know you're a Shalaaman when...
- You've never heard of "separation of church and state"
- Separation of MOSQUE/SYNAGOGUE and state, that's a different story
- If a spaceship from another nation enters your system, your second response (after saying Hello) is to ask if they need hydrogen fuel
- (Muslim girls only) You wore a hijab to your best friend's Bat Mitzvah
- The work week begins on Sunday and ends on Thursday
- You have heard or participated in at least three debates over whether Mohammed could beat Moshe Dayan in a fight

You know you're Naktan when...

-you ask what the joke was about.
-you ask what water is used for.
-you ask where the nearest temple is.
-you ask too many questions for your own benefit.
-you think that someone is being too mean because that person is plucking the hair off a fly.
-you hear of things, but aren't certain what they mean half the time.
-you look on a map and don't know which way is north.
-you look on a map and think everything little dot is a temple to God.
-you sing, but no one thinks you're singing.
-you laugh, but no one thinks you're laughing.
-you fart and everyone knows that it was you.
-you cannot lie, even if the urge is so intense that you go into a coma and pass out for three days on a hospital bed.
-you wake up and ask if you're in heaven.
-you kiss the nurse and realize that the nurse isn't an angel.
-you kiss the nurse again because you'd like to think that she was an angel.
-your spouse faints and sits in the hospital and undergoes the same procedure (I think I figured out why we have so many patients in our hospitals...).
-you hear an airplane flying over and pull out your manual from your days in the army on how to combat enemy planes.
-you pull out your missile launcher and knock out the plane.
-you miss because you constantly aim .35mm off the wing, and the missile lands in the foreign consultate somehow.
-you get re-educated on the proper manner to act as a Naktan.

-4 out of 5 people agree that you are wrong.
-that last person was wrong.
-you look out the window and see birds.
-you've never heard of chicken [when people say it tastes like chicken].
-your office is perpetually wet.
-you think the ducks are saying hello, but they're really calling you an idiot.
-bad things are a figment of your imagination.
-you can't read because you don't know that language.
-that language is your own.

You know you're a citizen of Tahuantinsuyu when...

...it's guineapig-on-bread for lunch, and a treat at that!

...your first memory is of potato-based spirits and maize-based alcoholic broth for breakfast with the family (and you don't remember your first memory).

...kids are for keeping the llamas away from the crops... and the jaguars away from the llamas.

...like all your male friends, you've experienced compulsory military training, and, man, can you hit stuff with a stick, now!

...no? Well, you can certainly take it out with a rock from twenty paces, right? Yeah, you're one of us.

...it seems odd that these new foreign guests are wearing five layers of clothing and breathing with difficulty through a mask: we're at fifteen thousand feet, and it's only snowing a little bit, this is sandals and poncho weather, isn't it?

...congratulations! Your ten year old daughter has been judged perfect, and selected to become a god! We will now get her drunk and bury her alive! Hurrah!

...you may be of the only race on earth still afraid of Spain.

...foreigners keep calling you Inca, and don't want to hear your corrections.

...you get sixty-five days each year in which to provide for your own survival and that of your family, after that you're working for the state. Isn't it nice of the Sapa Inca to give you so much free time?

...you know that you'll never learn to read: all those ropes and knots, it looks so complicated!

...greeting a perfect stranger by telling them not to lie, steal, or be lazy is the polite thing to do, and won't upset them.

...because you take pride in your imperial flag, everyone else in the world thinks that you're making a bold statement about your homosexuality. This can be frustrating when you're trying to awe their society into terrified submission.

You know you live in the Lone Alliance if...

-The first thing you do everyday is check to see if the air isn't green.
-You don't mind the fact that the LifeGuard Huts at the beach have heavy Machineguns on them.
-You don't mind that there's a Flak Cannon in your neighborhood.
-The rite of passage in your childhood was when you went out to the local Tiberium Fields and shot your first mutant animal.
-You know how to gamble at age 5.
-You win often also.
-You have your own room in the local Bunker.
-Schools don't have fire drills they have mutant attack drills.
-You know at least one person who is mutated.
-You have no STDs.
-Seeing an army of inhuman Cyborgs walk by is normal.
-Freaks of nature in General are normal.
-You know how to vote by the age of 3.
-You vote every year, even if there's no one to elect.
-You have an AK-47 in your house.
-Your Neighbor has one too.
-In fact everyone has one.
-You don't sell your car, you drive it to a grinder to get crushed up.
-you get paid for the amount that the metal sells for, you think it's acceptable.
-Your entire income is from Tax free Bonuses.
-8 out of 10 people you know work for the Government in some way.

<snip>
That was sheer brilliance.

You know you are Ri-an if:


-You've ever raced a treant in its early stages.
-You know why a walk in the woods is capital punishment.
-You've ever talked to a rock, and had it talk back to you. your not high either..
-You know what a slypher is, and why their a threat.
-You've ever taken a ship to the upper atmosphere to go fishing for space mambos.
-you know what a space mambo is.
-you've ever seen the great Guardian Wurm Laeviathane
-your greatest wish, is to be swallowed up by the planet, because it means the Lady loves you.
- You know who, and what, the Lady is.
-Your deathly scared of the dark, and regularly carry a light source strong enough to rival broad daylight.
- You go to a diffrent planet, and get sick because its atmosphere lacks the high volume of energy in it.
- While not being an actual sorcerer, you know how to cast at least 50 diffrent spells, since due to the high energy atmosphere, on rare occasions, you can cast them.
-Black Lotuses are symbols of darkness, and therefore Evil.
-You find a crystal of condensened Mana, and consider it commonplace.

That was sheer brilliance.


Ha, thank you!

...And I didn't even have to mention the holiness of Lake Titicaca!

You know you’re a Juumanistran if…

…You’ve voted for the New World Order.
--Willingly.
---And had the guy you voted for won the seat.

…You find yourself using honorifics like “-kiddo” and “-sparky”.

…You are fluent in Ben Franklin’s Phonetic Script.

…You find yourself tacking –suru onto adjectives and nouns to make them verbs.

…You’ve had at least one conversation in your life using only the phrases “eh”, “ne”, and “yo”.

…You take offense to the phrase “social democrat.”
--And have gotten into a fist-fight over it.
---Which then degenerated into a bar-fight.
----And the judge found the other guy guilty of instigating the fight.

…You find yourself blaming the Canucks for everything, even though there is no Canada.

…You know enough Latin to make heads-and-tails of the English language, but not enough to actually say anything.

[More to come.]

You know you're a Mirkanan when...
- You own three bulletproof vests.
- You almost never question your leader, mainly because he's a genius.
- You once questioned your leader in writing.
- Two weeks later, you recieved a full rebuttal in the mail.
- You've questioned your commanding officer repeatedly.
- You've gone vigilante at least twice.
- You think democracy is inefficient.
- You go to the local shooting range every day after work for 30 minutes.
- You had a really good idea, and got a major tax break for it.
- You question the need for political parties.
- You always carry a gun.
- You think of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse the same way Cold War Americans thought of NATO.
- You can recite formulas of common explosives off the top of your head.
- You learned how to make common explosives in high school chemistry.
- You fly regularly, but you rarely take off from a runway.
- If you play any first-person shooters (and you almost certainly do) your favorite weapon is the sniper rifle.

You know your a Xantian....

When you find watching the execution of Heretics an enjoyable passtime.

You know you're a Flightopian when...

-Your great-great-great-great grandfather built SpaceShip One before Burt Rutan
-You own 10 different aircraft, 8 of them armed to the teeth.
-You are shocked when someone says they only own 15 guns.
-You are shocked when someone dosen't have a Ph.D
-"When Things Explode" is your favorate show.
- You teach your kids at age 4 how to fire and field strip every firearm known to man, that includes muskets and cannons.
-You use break-dancing as a form of martal arts.
-You are an atheist.
-You hate commie Russain bastards.
-You think the USA dosen't go to war enough.
-You built your own SAM battery, 60 of them actualy.
-You built your own AAA gun, but only 20 of them.
-When you go skiing resort officals ask you to help them move early-warning LADAR euipment to the summit.
-Pratice hand-to-hand combat with your personal Cylon.
-You aggree and consider it an honor.
-You can quote Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations verbatum.
-Everyone in your family has an I.Q. of 260 but still served in the military.
-You own 15 different business just becuase you can.
-You think free-trade is a right.
-You kill people who don't vote.
-You kill people who vote for who you didn't vote for.
-You kill the person you didn't vote for.
-You kill the person you voted for becuase they lost.
-You come to understand that you love your president and follow him blindly.
-You don't see the need for political parties.
-So you always for for the indipendant.
-You love labrador retrevers.

[When I think of more and possibly decide not to kill everyone....I might add it.]

bump

You know you're a Brydog when...

-Your a left-winger
-Your government was established in 1957 BC
-The only gun law is that, racists can't own one
-Your government is called a Liberal Democratic Republic
-You hate racism
-Shoobans are friends
-You kill Shooban hunters for $5,000
-Your a human or a anthro
-Your leader is a wolf
-If John C. Handstand Sr, is your hero
-If you own a car from the 80's or later
-If who are train in unconvential warfare and your not in the military
-Hunting is Illegal, because animals are driving on down Highway 2.
-Your Captial City is called Liberty City, and there monuments to different liberals all around.

*bump*

You know you're a Mirkanan if...


If you need a bit of steel for something, you pull out some spare change.
Flat countries weird you out.
Everyone you know works for the government in some way.
You've gone to the theater, and found yourself sitting next to a Vice-Admiral or someone.
You take more vacations than your dictator.
The crosshairs is a source of national pride.
You learned military strategy in high school.
Although you are an atheist, if you saw someone desecrating a grave, you would kill them on sight.
You think that restricting women from serving in combat is stupid, because it halves your supply of combat troops.

You know you are Edoniakistanbabweaguan when

...you can't even pronounce your own damned name
...you have a strange obssession with Capoeira
...you have a similar obssession to tequilia
...your name is soo long that instead you call yourself a Dioyoquetzios, which isnt much shorter

You know you're an Alaskan when
- "Formal wear" means a nicely cleaned spacer's unitard
- You've never set foot on a planet
- You got pretty good grades in school, so you decided to be a miner
- "The Cartel" does NOT refer to any sort of criminal organization
- You do not automatically suspect CEOs and other executives of corruption
- So you were pretty surprised when a CEO was discovered to be hiding major profits
- And you sympathized with his shareholders when they pushed him out an airlock
- Your capital is a shipyard
- You made your engagement ring for your wife
- From the leftovers of your last mining run
- "Made in Alaska" is a good reason for buying one product over another
- Enough that you don't see many non-Alaskan things at the store
- Not only do you vote for political elections, you vote at your company's annual shareholder's meeting
- Once, while drunk, you jumped out of an airlock for fun (while wearing a spacesuit)
- You are unfamiliar with the concept of "ground"

[tag]

Expanded info:

You know you are Ri-an if:

You can recall the name of all 500,000,000 departments of the Ri-an Government.
you get a warning from the Department of Redundancy Department for buying multiple copies of the same thing.
You ask mommy for a Gareen for christmas.
The Department of Holidays and Celebrations cancels Christmas because they felt you could not handle a Gareen.
The Department of Education tells you to choose your career path, but the department of public intrests chooses for you.
The Department of procreation and population makes you take a test before you can legally have sex and start dating.
You've ever tried to find a practical use for the Department of overseeing Useless Departments.
You've been to fluidic space.
You've ever failed an IQ test.
You've ever called the Department of Humor Analysis
You've ever worked for the Department of non-departmental Agencies.
You've been to a funeral held by the Department of Death, dying, and Afterlife.
Your amazed that other countries also have something similar to the Department of Defense.
your also amazed that daily life isn't controlled by the Department of Daily Life.
You know where the Department of Espionage is.

More coming as soon as is allowed by the Department of Internet Web posting.