NationStates Jolt Archive

The Republic of Hataria is inlargeing the Grand Army of The Republic from it's 309,890 men to 890,000. we are not going to get Invaded by Hogsweat is War over Earth IV starts.

OOC:Hogsweat will beat you. Sorry. Err goodluck?

IC:
The Ninjian Government has yet to have a response on the current matter since we're Earth II. Thank you.

[i]Emperor Misha Takenski[/b]

At this point, I've used up all my cynical comments towards you. Good luck, you'll need that and God to win.
(what do you know, one left!):D

OOC: I unignored him because these are fun as hell to read.

Parthia will assist Hogsweat in conquering Earth IV.

[OOC - Grenval does not recognize multiple Earths, or at least, believes our great nation transcends such notions. As far as the actual war threat, I am still on the floor laughing.]

OOC: I already nuked all his colonies in Earth IV, but of course he's still around, I though I might as well try.

The Republic of Hataria is enlarging the Grand Army of The Republic from it's 309,890 men to 890,000. we are not going to get Invaded by Hogsweat is War over Earth IV starts.
OOC:lol/ tag

OOC: I unignored him because these are fun as hell to read.

That would be true if Hataria had any concept of grammar or spelling. As it is, I find them pretty funny, but not "fun as hell".

His post at the top made no sense whatsoever in the second sentence: we are not going to get Invaded by Hogsweat is War over Earth IV starts. What does that mean?

The Conglomerated Oligarchy of Frisbeeteria is deploying a phalanx of dedicated high-definition televisor satellites to the skies over Earth IV. We plan to photograph and edit the entire Hatarian war as part of our new Reality TV program, "My Favorite Hatarians"

Rebroadcast rights are available for a very reasonable fee. Contact:
Frisbeeterian Comedy Channels, Ltd.
Murdoch Media Megaplex
One Adam Smith Plaza
Greenspan, Frisbeeteria

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v462/ITDGov/69a.gif

All right people, move along. There is nothing to see here.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v462/ITDGov/69a.gif

All right people, move along. There is nothing to see here.
OOC:
Barbrady: Where were you last night?!
Art teacher's husband: Here!
Barbrady: Aha! Got you!
Husband: Why would I tp my own house?
Barbrady: Insurance?

To: Frisbeeterian Comedy Channels, Ltd.
From: CMN networks
Subj: live broadcast

We'd love to see this war, we just don't want it to last less than 3 episodes. We're inquiring about the price to rebroadcast this war.

To: Frisbeeterian Comedy Channels, Ltd.
From: CMN networks
Subj: live broadcast

We'd love to see this war, we just don't want it to last less than 3 episodes. We're inquiring about the price to rebroadcast this war.
Don' worry 'bout it. We've got a buncha back reels of all the previous Hatarian invasions and repulsions to fall back on if this bad boy fizzles. Jus' wait'll ya see the "Into the Naval Caves!" episode. I'm tellin' ya, we gotcha covered.

Colin Quinn
New Media Director
FCC, Ltd.
"You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss ten bucks goodbye."

PS: Our accounting staff will be in touch with actual figures. We'll have a few drinks and sign the papers. No biggie.

Sanctaphrax comedy channel would be interested in the rebroadcasting rights as would the government TV. SCC for ovious reasons and the government to make the Sanctaphrax citizens feel that bit better about themselves!

The Republic of Hataria is inlargeing the Grand Army of The Republic from it's 309,890 men to 890,000. we are not going to get Invaded by Hogsweat is War over Earth IV starts.
Let me explain this and i'll do it using minimum long words.
Hataria has 450 Million and an army is allowed to be 5% of your population. Get where this is going? 5% of 450 Million is NOT 890'000 men.

Let me explain this and i'll do it using minimum long words.
Hataria has 450 Million and an army is allowed to be 5% of your population. Get where this is going? 5% of 450 Million is NOT 890'000 men.

Actually he has 0 citizens, as his land was turned into a wasteland.

Actually he has 0 citizens, as his land was turned into a wasteland.
anyway on the country description he has 450 so grant him that!!!
He obviously isn't planning to either shut up or go away so humor him.

Sanctaphrax comedy channel would be interested in the rebroadcasting rights as would the government TV.
Glad to help you fill your programming void, Sanctphrax!

* Control room, run Teaser HatariaOne *

For your viewing pleasure, we'll be offering footage from the following Hatarian retreats, ambushes, abandonments, routs, disasters, defeats and other assorted merriment:http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=355046
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=354444
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=354101
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=354082
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=354078
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=353532
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=353305
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=353313
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=352972
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=351012
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=351059
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=351039
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=350816And that's just the most recent season of My Favorite Hatarians!

But wait, there's more! With each rebroadcast license, you get, absolutely free, continuous coverage of the Hatarian Respawning Olympics. Watch their fearless leader scatter wheat upon the earth and have whole Legions of troops appear! Watch as strips of tinfoil morph into scores of aircraft! And for the Grand Finale, you won't believe your eyes as bat guano turns into entire carrier Task Forces!You think you've seen magic when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear? You ain't seen nothin' yet, friends.

Call within the next TEN MINUTES to get this special offer! I'd say supplies are limited, but you know I'd be lying. The miraculous respawning effect just keeps getting better and better.



Offer subject to withdrawal at any time, due to the remote possiblity of cluelessness removal. Your mileage may vary. Closed course and professional driver. Do not attempt this at home. Thank you for your support.

1450 Hours, Capital of Hataria (OOC: Please can you get me a name?)
"Redhawk 1, we are approaching vectored target in T minus 30, over."
The communication staticted through the dark Hatarian clouds - but they were only about to get darker. The twelve B2 Spirits of RedHawk squadron were flying from Redmond base - a base established near Hataria when Whittier went in.
"Copy Redhawk 1, we are behind you by approximately T minus 3, over"
"Roger Redhawk 2,over"

"Redhawk Leader to all planes, enemy targets are IN SIGHT. Bomb bays unloaded!"
The hundreds of thousands of Kilograms of free fall explosive rained down on the fearful Hatarian city - while the alarm klaxons sounded the Hatarians ran to nearby bunkers, or dashed under their beds.
Hataria was right. The war had begun.

Undisclosed Location, Redmond Island
The two marines sat, in their bunkroom smoking and waiting. Ten minutes previously, they had been told their objective by a Divisional Commander, all ten thousand of them. Now they had dispersed, and waited.
"Jesus Christ, this is tense."
"Yeah, but you just know the Hatarian's stand no chance at all."
"Yup. You seen OMG Hataria recently?"
The two men laughed. Hard.
"Course. Last episode was great!"
"Sure was!"

Hatarian Beach, 1800 hours
The pathfinder team snuck through the undergrowth, keeping silent as they had spent years of training for. Their weapons, clicked on safety and held loosely, longed to be shot. It was almost tempting, as they crept through the Hatarian defences. As they marked 1 kilometre past the base defences, the leader whispered to his radioman.
"DeHaul, here, quickly!"
DeHaul made his way over to the leader, making sure not to step on any intruding sticks or leaves.
"Sir?"
"Get HQ on the horn an' give em these co-ordinates."
"Roger.. "

Hatarian Beach, 2000 hours
The planes flew dark sorties into Hatarian territory often, usually for reconaissance. But now was not a drill. The twelve Z45's flew in perfect formation, spread out over the skies over the beach like emigrating birds. But they were much more deadly then birdpoo. As they came over the Hatarian positions, they each unleased two Fire Air Bombs each, and two Napalm. As the skies burned and the beach was alight, the Royal Marines were ordered to embark and ready for the beachhead.

OOC: youve said nothing of defences - I am attacking MAIN Hataria, the non Earth IV one. As you've just said of troops in Earth IV.

Let me explain this and i'll do it using minimum long words.
Hataria has 450 Million and an army is allowed to be 5% of your population. Get where this is going? 5% of 450 Million is NOT 890'000 men.

Not neccesarily, it just means he won't have any tanks. Also, he has not posted logistics, support, air, navy etc etc...
I have less than 800,000 men in the proper military, but im sure that my troops can take on a Hatarian at at least a ratio of 1-10. Considering his amount of men would be badly trained and armed.

Jackdonia will assist Hogsweat in caputring the Earth.

Hey hogsweat could you give me about 12 million copies of OMG Hatria?

Hey hogsweat could you give me about 12 million copies of OMG Hatria?
While we have looked the other way with regards to the pirate OMG Hataria copies of our copyrighted program My Favorite Hatarians, Frisbeeterian Comedy Channels, Ltd., cannot overlook blatant redistribution requests.

Jackadonia, our fees are quite reasonable. Wouldn't you rather buy the originals directly from the source?

Colin Quinn,
New Media Director
FCC, Ltd.
"You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss ten bucks goodbye."

Go away Frisbeeteria. You've got nothing on OMG Hataria, it was created outside this thread. and yes Jackdonia we will grant you the copies. It is actually a TV series.

Glad to help you fill your programming void, Sanctphrax!

But wait, there's more! With each rebroadcast license, you get, absolutely free, continuous coverage of the Hatarian Respawning Olympics. Watch their fearless leader scatter wheat upon the earth and have whole Legions of troops appear! Watch as strips of tinfoil morph into scores of aircraft! And for the Grand Finale, you won't believe your eyes as bat guano turns into entire carrier Task Forces!You think you've seen magic when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear? You ain't seen nothin' yet, friends.



Ooc- Don't forget when NWV, CM, Parthia, and numerous other nations invaded either Hataria, Hatarian Mammalia, or both. CM forces under the influence of combat drugs went on a masscare that has since been dubbed, "The rape of Hatarian Mammalia" (They raped over 50 million women, shipped them back to the Mississippian Egypt and the then Mississippian Libya, ML since reverted back to arab control and the women were sent to ME. Also the forces killed over 50 million men, and they abducted about 40 million children, to be raised as Mississippian children would be raised)

Ooc- Don't forget when NWV, CM, Parthia, and numerous other nations invaded either Hataria, Hatarian Mammalia, or both. Must have been Season 2. We didn't have the satellites in place for that ... as CM was a wee bit protective of their airspace, as I recall.
Go away Frisbeeteria. You've got nothing on OMG Hataria, it was created outside this thread. and yes Jackdonia we will grant you the copies. It is actually a TV series.
Take it easy, Hogsweat. I didn't know you independently had the same idea we did, having missed your earlier thread

[IC]Apologies to the Hogsweat Video Network. Somebody was repackaging our series in your jackets. Maybe our legal staffs can work together to stomp some video pirates later when we all have time.

Must have been Season 2. We didn't have the satellites in place for that ... as CM was a wee bit protective of their airspace, as I recall.

Take it easy, Hogsweat. I didn't know you independently had the same idea we did, having missed your earlier thread

[IC]Apologies to the Hogsweat Video Network. Somebody was repackaging our series in your jackets. Maybe our legal staffs can work together to stomp some video pirates later when we all have time.


Ooc- Yeah I hear you, by the way, all old CM airspace is now DA airspace, and we will guard it as zealously as before. :D Also, the incidents took place in Hatarian Mammalia, where the airspace was basically wide open, except for the thousands of CM Mi-24s that fired chemical weapons against Hatarian Mammalian forces.

Must have been Season 2. We didn't have the satellites in place for that ... as CM was a wee bit protective of their airspace, as I recall.

Take it easy, Hogsweat. I didn't know you independently had the same idea we did, having missed your earlier thread

[IC]Apologies to the Hogsweat Video Network. Somebody was repackaging our series in your jackets. Maybe our legal staffs can work together to stomp some video pirates later when we all have time.
Looks like great minds think alike! Sorry, it's just that when people say i've copied something I get ragey...

[IC]
Of course, we consider video pirates the second greatest threat next to shipping pirates. We look forward to working with you in the future.

Editing Suite, FCC Central, Greenspan, Frisbeeteria

Host Colin Quinn and Technical Director David Sanchez watch their downlink monitors, mouths hanging open in shock. "Dave, is this stuff for real? Are you sure you haven't crossed some of the downlinks somewhere?"

"Honest to God, Colin, this is live-to-tape. I've never seen anything like it myself." Sanchez shakily removed a cigarette from a slightly crushed pack and hung it from the corner of his mouth. Unnoticed matches lie on a nearby table. "These are the guys that Hogsweat recruited to teach Hataria how to run a war?"

"I don't think Hogsweat has a clue this is going on. They haven't even shown up yet. I'm betting this is rogue action, honestly." Colin absently scratched himself. "The polite thing to do would be to ring up OMG Hataria's production staff and offer them this feed ... but I'm not feeling especially polite today. In fact, screw it. Get Frank and Jason on the link boards, and let's doubleteam the mixdown booth. This is too good to waste."

Quinn picked up the phone and dialed an internal extension. "Director Murdoch, it's Colin Quinn ... yeah, the Hataria thing ... listen, I've got a situation here that's just too good to keep off the air. In fact, if we carry it live, we've got a real shot at pulling a couple of sequels out of this ... no sir, I don't think anyone else has it yet ... we can? Great! Live in 14 minutes ... yes sir, we'll be ready!"

"I swear, Dave, we are going to make a friggin' killing on this. Help me out here - after My Favorite Hatarians, whadda ya think about The Silly Sixth Reich ... no, make that The Goose-stepping Godmodders ... and I bet we could steal Johnny Knoxville to host Jackdonia-ass. Maybe even a Disney crossover with SPYDUDES in 3D. I'm telling you, this franchise has some major potential."

"Places ... countdown ... we go live in ... five ... four ... three ... ... ... http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/images/icons/icon14.gif


"Welcome to this Special Live Edition of My Favorite Hatarian! (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=355538). I'm your host, Colin Quinn ..."

Hey i would like to contribute a Hatrian Defeat for My Favorite Hatrians:
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=355538 Page 5 The Battle of Al Nazireah Jackdonian troops defeat Hatrian War Mamtohs. Hogsweat we accept the copies. Whoever is making a comedy about Jackdonia dont make it! OR else you will insult Jackdonian citizens engough to ask you to remove it off the air.

Just forget it all...

Except Frisbeeteria, I have a couple of ideas lined up ^^