Roycelandia
04-09-2004, 13:15
[dateline] Coral Palm City, Roycelandian Colony of Coral Palm Island
Religious Leaders throughout the Roycelandian Empire are up in arms tonight after Wordsmith's Publishing released the latest Editions of two key Religious Texts with "some Typographical Errors".
The latest edition of The Bible, in particular The New Testement, makes reference throughout to "Jebus", and mentions Evil as being personified in the form of "Stan".
"This is an outrage!" The Archbishop of Roycelandia said today. "Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, would be most displeased at this blatant Blasphemy! After all that dying He did for our sins, the least we can do is spell His name properly! I mean really, there's no record of Jesus spelling His name with a B at any point. Jebus indeed! Why, I beleive that a most Righteous Smackdown is in order for these Heretics and Blasphemers!"
When our Intrepid Reporter pointed out that Jesus has been dead for over 2,000 years, and could therefore not be asked how He actually spelt His name, our Reporter was set upon by a crack squad of Nuns, armed with Rulers, and given a most Righteous Lesson in not pointing out perceived flaws in other people's religions.
Meanwhile, the Imperial Association of Stans has also slammed the errors.
"These typographical errors are an insult to the good name of people called Stan everywhere!" explained the Association's Presient, Stan Dard.
"To victimise people named Stan because of the similarity of their names to that of the Prince of Darkness is most unfair, and we have already launched a Lawsuit against Wordsmith's for pain and suffering caused by these slanderous allegations!" Our Intrepid Reporter's pointing out that a lawsuit by every person in the Empire named Stan could destroy the entire economy was not well received, but the surgery was successful and the Tape Recorder was removed from its most unusual depository without any permanent damage.
Wordsmith's were further embarrased by the revelation today that over 1 million copies of The Koran had been printed with a similar typo, which included phrases such "There is no God but Allan".
Whilst the Allans of Roycelandia Society received the new Korans "in a very positive light", the Imperial Islamic Council has condemned the errors, calling them "Anti-Muslim", "Evil", "Stupid", and a whole string of Arabic expletives which cannot be reprinted here.
Roycelandia is an avowedly Atheist Empire, but even so, such errors are unusual and the Imperial Government has promised a full Investigation.
Neither Jesus, Satan, or Allah were available for comment at time of going to press.
World War II Bomber Found On Moon, Pg 2
Elvis Discovered Working In Petrol Station, Pg 7
Government Considering Stamping Out Footpath Lemonade Sales, Pg 18
Religious Leaders throughout the Roycelandian Empire are up in arms tonight after Wordsmith's Publishing released the latest Editions of two key Religious Texts with "some Typographical Errors".
The latest edition of The Bible, in particular The New Testement, makes reference throughout to "Jebus", and mentions Evil as being personified in the form of "Stan".
"This is an outrage!" The Archbishop of Roycelandia said today. "Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, would be most displeased at this blatant Blasphemy! After all that dying He did for our sins, the least we can do is spell His name properly! I mean really, there's no record of Jesus spelling His name with a B at any point. Jebus indeed! Why, I beleive that a most Righteous Smackdown is in order for these Heretics and Blasphemers!"
When our Intrepid Reporter pointed out that Jesus has been dead for over 2,000 years, and could therefore not be asked how He actually spelt His name, our Reporter was set upon by a crack squad of Nuns, armed with Rulers, and given a most Righteous Lesson in not pointing out perceived flaws in other people's religions.
Meanwhile, the Imperial Association of Stans has also slammed the errors.
"These typographical errors are an insult to the good name of people called Stan everywhere!" explained the Association's Presient, Stan Dard.
"To victimise people named Stan because of the similarity of their names to that of the Prince of Darkness is most unfair, and we have already launched a Lawsuit against Wordsmith's for pain and suffering caused by these slanderous allegations!" Our Intrepid Reporter's pointing out that a lawsuit by every person in the Empire named Stan could destroy the entire economy was not well received, but the surgery was successful and the Tape Recorder was removed from its most unusual depository without any permanent damage.
Wordsmith's were further embarrased by the revelation today that over 1 million copies of The Koran had been printed with a similar typo, which included phrases such "There is no God but Allan".
Whilst the Allans of Roycelandia Society received the new Korans "in a very positive light", the Imperial Islamic Council has condemned the errors, calling them "Anti-Muslim", "Evil", "Stupid", and a whole string of Arabic expletives which cannot be reprinted here.
Roycelandia is an avowedly Atheist Empire, but even so, such errors are unusual and the Imperial Government has promised a full Investigation.
Neither Jesus, Satan, or Allah were available for comment at time of going to press.
World War II Bomber Found On Moon, Pg 2
Elvis Discovered Working In Petrol Station, Pg 7
Government Considering Stamping Out Footpath Lemonade Sales, Pg 18