NationStates Jolt Archive


Shocking Crime in Port Royal!

Roycelandia
31-08-2004, 06:36
[dateline] Port Royal, Roycelandia

Noted Academic and International Affairs expert Sir Matthew Forstone is tonight recovering at his home in Forest Glade after becoming the victim of a most vicious and uncouth Drive-By Argument earlier today.

Sir Matthew was in Snider Park giving a public speech on the importance of working with disadvantaged countries, as opposed to exploiting them, when a silver Jaguar pulled up near Sir Matthew, and an older man wearing a monocle proceeded to shout "Sir Matthew! I disagree!" from the driver's side of the car, before the vehicle sped off at high speed with a great deal of tyre squealing and burning rubber.

Sir Matthew suffered a minor outburst, expressing outrage at the incident. "How dare he! Interrupting me like that, and failing to back his arguments up with reasons, or even provididing a logical and clear argument in the first place! Why, if I ever find the person responsible, I shall be telling them exactly how cross I am!"

Sir Matthew was taken home by his wife to recover from the incident, and Police have begun a city-wide search for the offender.

"This sort of uncivilised behaviour will not be tolerated in Roycelandia" a senior Police Officer was quoted as saying earlier today. "Simply driving off like that is most rude, especially as Sir Matthew was unable to exercise his right of reply. I daresay the perpetrator is some sort of Cad, and the good people of Roycelandia can rest assured we are doing everything to find this person and give them a jolly good talking to."

Hospital for children poisoned by Agricultural Pesticides opens today, Pg 3
Civil War in small country with unpronounceable name, Pg 7
Government threatens to "Ignore" protestors in Fur Clothing debate, Pg 12
Blackjack & Hookers, Pg 42
Generic empire
31-08-2004, 06:40
((OOC: This made my night so much more amusing. Simply hilarious. Thank you.))
Roycelandia
31-08-2004, 07:15
OOC Thanks! I try. ;)
Turkmeny
31-08-2004, 07:47
OOC: Been watching "Family Guy" have you?
Roycelandia
31-08-2004, 12:40
OOC: Of course! One of the best TV shows of all time. And when I saw that particular little scene, I thought "That is exactly the sort of thing that happens in Roycelandia!"

I was wondering how long it would take someone to notice...
Jordaxia
31-08-2004, 13:44
Congratulations again, Roycelandia. [semifanboy] some of the best (and certainly funniest) posts on ns come from you. Genuine class. [/semifanboy.]

*official mandatory IC response from the Jordaxian ministry of outrage (MOO)*

Hard luck old chap. Absolutely terrible that something like that could happen to so upstanding a gentlemen. Feel free to drop by our mansion for refreshments when you have recovered. Enclosed is a fine brandy and glass, blown especially for you when we heard about "the incident."
ta-ta

Lord Elsintide the 3rd.

(also, that family guy was hilarious.)

Edit: "The perpetrator was some kind of cad." HA!
Communist Mississippi
31-08-2004, 13:57
OOC: Of course! One of the best TV shows of all time. And when I saw that particular little scene, I thought "That is exactly the sort of thing that happens in Roycelandia!"

I was wondering how long it would take someone to notice...


In CM, our drive-by 'arguments', involved M-249 SAWs and AKMs, MP-5Ns, etc... We feel it gets the point across better.
The Diseased Wallaby
31-08-2004, 13:57
Why is this in a thread? It happens all the time
Roycelandia
01-09-2004, 15:39
OOC: Jordaxia: It's so nice someone appreciates my posts! Keep any eye out for other wackiness from Roycelandia. I seem to spend most of my time at work thinking up ever more surreal and crazy things that can happen in Roycelandia. Glad to see it's paying off! ;)

Diseased Wallaby: It's part of the way I RP Roycelandia... it's a very odd sort of place. And it's no less pointless than most of the other stuff that ends up in II...

Communist Missippi: Roycelandian citizens tend to arm themselves with WWII-era weapons, and Lewis Guns and Lee-Enfield Rifles don't lend themselves readily to being fired from the windows of luxury sedans. ;)