Roycelandia
31-08-2004, 06:36
[dateline] Port Royal, Roycelandia
Noted Academic and International Affairs expert Sir Matthew Forstone is tonight recovering at his home in Forest Glade after becoming the victim of a most vicious and uncouth Drive-By Argument earlier today.
Sir Matthew was in Snider Park giving a public speech on the importance of working with disadvantaged countries, as opposed to exploiting them, when a silver Jaguar pulled up near Sir Matthew, and an older man wearing a monocle proceeded to shout "Sir Matthew! I disagree!" from the driver's side of the car, before the vehicle sped off at high speed with a great deal of tyre squealing and burning rubber.
Sir Matthew suffered a minor outburst, expressing outrage at the incident. "How dare he! Interrupting me like that, and failing to back his arguments up with reasons, or even provididing a logical and clear argument in the first place! Why, if I ever find the person responsible, I shall be telling them exactly how cross I am!"
Sir Matthew was taken home by his wife to recover from the incident, and Police have begun a city-wide search for the offender.
"This sort of uncivilised behaviour will not be tolerated in Roycelandia" a senior Police Officer was quoted as saying earlier today. "Simply driving off like that is most rude, especially as Sir Matthew was unable to exercise his right of reply. I daresay the perpetrator is some sort of Cad, and the good people of Roycelandia can rest assured we are doing everything to find this person and give them a jolly good talking to."
Hospital for children poisoned by Agricultural Pesticides opens today, Pg 3
Civil War in small country with unpronounceable name, Pg 7
Government threatens to "Ignore" protestors in Fur Clothing debate, Pg 12
Blackjack & Hookers, Pg 42
Noted Academic and International Affairs expert Sir Matthew Forstone is tonight recovering at his home in Forest Glade after becoming the victim of a most vicious and uncouth Drive-By Argument earlier today.
Sir Matthew was in Snider Park giving a public speech on the importance of working with disadvantaged countries, as opposed to exploiting them, when a silver Jaguar pulled up near Sir Matthew, and an older man wearing a monocle proceeded to shout "Sir Matthew! I disagree!" from the driver's side of the car, before the vehicle sped off at high speed with a great deal of tyre squealing and burning rubber.
Sir Matthew suffered a minor outburst, expressing outrage at the incident. "How dare he! Interrupting me like that, and failing to back his arguments up with reasons, or even provididing a logical and clear argument in the first place! Why, if I ever find the person responsible, I shall be telling them exactly how cross I am!"
Sir Matthew was taken home by his wife to recover from the incident, and Police have begun a city-wide search for the offender.
"This sort of uncivilised behaviour will not be tolerated in Roycelandia" a senior Police Officer was quoted as saying earlier today. "Simply driving off like that is most rude, especially as Sir Matthew was unable to exercise his right of reply. I daresay the perpetrator is some sort of Cad, and the good people of Roycelandia can rest assured we are doing everything to find this person and give them a jolly good talking to."
Hospital for children poisoned by Agricultural Pesticides opens today, Pg 3
Civil War in small country with unpronounceable name, Pg 7
Government threatens to "Ignore" protestors in Fur Clothing debate, Pg 12
Blackjack & Hookers, Pg 42