NationStates Jolt Archive

The Imperial Communication Ministry would like to direct your attention here:

http://s3.invisionfree.com/nsafrica/index.php?showtopic=14

We would also like to point out that we can offer for sale any items in use by our Armed Forces that you might be interested in.The price is negotiable, depending on what sort of quantities you're ordering and so on.

OOC: The pictures are taken from www.zuluwar.com, http://world.guns.ru, and several Warbird internet sites.

I'm using the Off-Site forums because they allow pictures to be displayed in posts, which looks better IMO.

I take it you decided not to use the Black Mamba after all?

Refresh my memory... We have so much stuff sitting in Warehouses or on deployment with various units we often forget what we actually have... ;)

IIRC it was a custom tank i designed for you ages ago that looked like either the churchill or centurion (i think i settled on an early model centurion since it was technically a WW2 tank) with a 103mm ETC gun...

That's right... most of the ones we have are now in service in North Terristan, after being replaced by the Emperor Heavy Tank...

"Sir, we would only wind up getting laughed at. Plus, the TAR-21 is state-of-the-art, why replace it?"

Gal Sharif folded his hands and got onto one knee.

"Please, Sir, don't do it, our Military's credibility is at stake,"

Abdullah rose to his full heigth.

"Idiot, get up. It almost looks like you are proposing me. What if that lousy Tea Madam would suddenly burst in? Heh, that woman would try to gossip on in sign language if we ducktaped her mouth shut,"

Gal beamed, mumbling some words while he sank into a chair:

"Yes, uncle, eh, I mean, Sir, of course,"

Abdullah flumped back into his suede sofa.

"Anyway, that Roycelandian Lee-Enfield just looks fabulous and I mean, I'm not just judging it on its looks, no. It's rugged, it's range is phenomenal and the calibre provides a lot more stopping power than that 5.56mm rounds we're issuing our troops at the moment,"

"But, it's obsolete and it would cost propably damn much to maintain all those ancient museum pieces, bu more importantly it would look silly with all our camouflage uniforms. The colours just don't match. We would make fools of our troops on international parades. Think about it,"

"Bla bla bla, your arguments are valid, but I don't care, I'm the dictator here,"

"You're the President, not a bloody dictator. We just got rid of our old one, to "free" our people!"

"That's true, damn, but if we just let that Lee-Enfield augment, complement or rendement the Tavor, we might get enough Senate support to receive funding,"

"Rendement's not a word, Sir,"

"And what are you, a walking dictionary? You understand what I'm trying to say, that's enough. Anyway, you'll endorse the motion, then we'll see how many Senators will consider you professionalist enough to follow your stance. Got that? Then write those Roycelandians,"

Gal nodded, a joyless smile on his face.

"Whaddya laughing at? Get out!"

Gal beamed and burst out.

Encrypted Message
To: Imperial Communication Ministry
From: Ministry of Defense

Dear Sir/Madam,

Following a "professional recommendation" by our glorious President, the Self-Loading Lee-Enfield has been selected to enter service in the Armed Forces and augment the current standard TAR-21 Tavor Assault Rifle. Therefore, we would like to procure a first batch of 80,000 Lee-Enfields and we would like to inquire if our standard 40mm M203 underslung grenade launcher could be fitted?

Should you approve of the export of the said products, we would gladly offer pure cash, to be wired to secure Swish bank accounts, if prefered, or longterm favourable trade agreements over major Al-Sabirian export products, as crude oil or copper.

Awaiting reply,

Gal Sharif
Ministry of Defense
The Arab Republic of Al-Sabir

Port Royal, Roycelandia

"Your Majesty, the nation of Al Sabir would like to purchase 80,000 SLLEs from us." Foreign Minister Jeff Lebowski announced as he wandered into the Emperor's Office.

His Imperial Majesty Emperor Royce I sprayed coffee all over his desk, covering his computer monitor with quality Java Juice.

"What did you say?"

"I said Al Sabir wants to buy SLLEs from us."

"Oh, sorry- I thought you said Elsie "The Bear" Woodleyte was buying 80,000 fromages."

"Err, no, your Majesty." Jeff suspected that His Majesty had been watching DVDs again, instead of actually paying attention to what was being said to him. He got like that early in the mornings sometimes, which was why astute persons knew to ask His Majesty for permission to do things around 7am, in the middle of his first coffee.

"There's the matter of payment, your Majesty..."

"What are they offering?"

"Cash or Trade Agreements..."

His Majesty pulled a $5 note from his desk drawer and lit a cigar with it.

"Help yourself- they're Zubans."

Foreign Minister Jeff Lebowski availed himself of the oppurtunity and lit his cigar from the proffered $5 note.

"Well" His Majesty said, puffing away thoughtfully "I think we can all agree that we don't need anymore money at the moment."

They both had a good laugh at that. It was well known that Roycelandia was unimaginably wealthy. Even people on the dole drove nice cars and could afford to eat Smoked Salmon and Prime Rib whenever they felt like it.

"Now, these Trade Subsidies... Yes, I think we can work with them. Especially the Copper, which you can never have too much of. And the least we can do is buy some Oil off them. After all, if we don't buy it, some other Nation will..."

The fact that Roycelandian East Africa produced enormous quantities of Oil was well known to His Majesty, but he was clearly and astutely trying to boost the import/export figures and thus, the balance of trade...

Encrypted Communique

The Imperial Roycelandian Government would be delighted to supply you with 80,000 Self-Loading Lee-Enfield Rifles, as requested.

Further, we are also pleased to inform you that the standard M203 40mm Grenade Launcher can be fitted to the Bayonet Lug on the end of the rifle via the aid of a special attachment, which is supplied free of charge with the rifle.

Each SLLE comes with two spare magazines, a sling, cleaning kit, the M203 attachment, and a Pattern '07 Bayonet.

Regarding payment, His Majesty would like to take up your generous offer of Trade Subsidies on Copper and Oil, the details of which can be worked out once the first delivery of 40,000 SLLEs has been received by the Al Sabir Ministry of Defence.

We look forward to many more lucrative trade deals between our Nations in the future, and if we can be of any further assistance at all, please do not hesitate to contact us at your earliest convenience.

[signed] Commander Jack Sword, Imperial Defence Bureau, Roycelandia

"I told you the rifle would be a disastre,"

"Heck, YOU should've told me that .303 calibre isn't already in use in our military. I thought we had some machine guns chambered with that round," Abdullah whispered, his ears flashing red, always a dangerous sign

"That's YOUR fault. You should get out of this office and get to know the Army. All you did in your service was flying around friggin' aircraft," Gal groaned, slamming his fist onto the desk.

"Shut up, you idiot, the Air Force is more important,"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Ok, you just ruined it for your branch. The Army will get a cut in its funding, which will be wired to Air Force accounts. Hah, it feels good the be the Commander-in-Chief. Anyway, give those Roycelandians a call and ask 'em if they can rechamber our rifles. Plus, order some more, as well as some other guns. I dunno, those Webley Mk VI Revolvers looked awesome,"

Encrypted Communique

Dear Sir,

Encountering some irregularities in our logistics chain, it is impossible to supply our SLLE equipped troops with ammunition. Therefore we would like to return the 40,000 rifles and kindly ask you to rechamber them into a more convenient round, ie. 7.62mm NATO. Further more, we would like to make the same request for the other 40,000 rifles. Plus, we would like to order an additional 820,000 SLLEs, all rechambered, of course.

As our payment, we offer you 40,000 tons of copper per month, for a sustained period of 48 months, to a reduced tariff of $0,60 per pound, which would spare you $48,000,000.00 a month, or $1,152,000,000.00 for the entire period.

We also offer 2,000,000 barrels of oil per month, for a sustained period of 24 months, for a reduced price of $24 a barrel.

Yours Sincerely,

Gal Sharif
Ministry of Defense

Port Royal, Roycelandia

"Don't tell me... The Al-Sabirians discovered that they don't have any ammo for the SLLEs, and want them re-chambered to 7.62 Nato?" His Majesty asked as his aide entered with the communique.

"Well, they.. Uh, yes."

His Majesty turned to Commander Sword. "Fine. You were right." His Majesty then opened his wallet and handed Commander Sword a $100 Imperial Wibble note.

Commander Sword was trying not to smirk.

"Ok, well, get on the blower to Imperial Armaments and get it sorted out then. See if you can flog them some of our Webley revolvers while you're at it..."

Encrypted Communique

Gentlemen,

Further to our recent correspondence we have rechambered the SLLEs to 7.62 NATO. We trust the weapons will more than meet your requirements, and have made arrangements for their immediate delivery to you.

His Majesty has also suggested that some of our Webley Mk VI revolvers might complement your new SLLEs quite nicely. The Revolvers are of excellent quality, and are widely used by the Roycelandian Military. We would also be prepared to sell them for the equivalent of $50 Imperial Wibbles each (IW$1= USD$1.6332), or else we'd take payment in goods or the like.

We should warn you, however, that they are chambered for .455 Webley, which, whilst a common cartridge in the Roycelandian Empire, is not quite as common elsewhere on the planet. Accordingly, we would be prepared to rechamber the revolvers to .45ACP or .45 Long Colt, depending on your requirements, at no extra charge.

The Payment terms for the SLLEs are more than satisfactory, and we look forward to receiving the first consigments shortly.

If we can be of any further assistance at all, please do not hesitate to contact us.

[signed] Commander Jack Sword, Imperial Defence Bureau, Port Royal, Roycelandia

Encrypted Communique

Mr Sword,

First, your assistance is in rechambering our new rifles is greatly appreciated, please accept our humble gratitude.

Second, excellent performance of the SLLE in recent field tests (when still chambered in .303 British) convinced plenty of influencial people of the quality of Roycelandian produced "hardware", despite of their antique looks. Therefore a number of procurements have been scheduled and your cooperation in fulfilling these orders would be appreciated.

- 3,000,000 Webley Mk VI Revolvers (preferably rechambered to .45 ACP), to be issued, combined with the M1911, to all Armed Forces, as standard sidearm.

The total cost, $244,980,000.00, will be transferred by secure delivery methods to your account in twelve equal installments, to be wired over 6 months.

Yours Sincerely,

Gal Sharif
Ministry of Defense

Following a major defence reveiw the Strathdonian governemnt have alocated a major funding increase to the Strathdonian Air Defence Force (SADF) to aquire additional transport and obeservation aircraft.
As such and following the overall positive experiences gained during the operation of the single Sunderland Flying boat gifted to the nation by our Roycelandian freinds, it has been decided that the aquisition of a further 3 example of these fine aircraft should become a priority concern.

in light of this the Strathdonian MOD hereby expresses it's interest in aquiring 3 Sunderlands for the SADF. While the MOD is perfectly happy to accept them in the standard configuration it would like to enquire as to th possibility of refiiting one airframe as an air to air tanker.
(basicaly i've just brough some lightnings back into service so refeuling is a big issue).

Due to the urgent nature of this request the full balance of required funds can be made isntantly available.

encrypted communique to the Al Khali Ministry of Defence

Mr. Sharif,

We are delighted that you are so impressed with Imperial Armament's fine products.

Your Webley Revolvers have been re-chambered and should have arrived at the appropriate Receiving Depot in Al Khals by the time you receive this communique.

As always, if we can be of further assistance, do not hesitate to contact us, and we trust your Webley Revolvers will provide years of trouble-free services to your Armed Forces. Roycelandia has been using the Webley since 1897, with no intention to phase it out anytime soon, or possibly ever.

I should also take this oppurtunity to mention our "Spotter's Fee" for reccommending new customers to us- the Fee is equivalent to 15% of your last order, in either cash or gold bullion.

[signed] Commander Jack Sword, IDB, Roycelandia

*********************************************

Communique to Strathdonia

Sirs,

We would be most delighted to provide the SADF with a further three Sunderland Flying Boats, with one of them reconfigured as an Air To Air Tanker.

The total cost will be $5,800,000, but we do not require immediate payment- a 10% deposit, with half the payment on delivery of the first aircraft and the remaining half on delivery of the third would be more than acceptable.

[signed] Commander Jack Sword, IDB, Roycelandia

OOC: Just a side note, it's Al-Sabir, not Al Khals.

IC: Encrypted Communique

Mr Sword,

Once again we would like to thank you for your assistance on this matter and your quick and friendly response.

We've taken note of the "Spotter's Fee" and we will recommend your excellent defence products on appropriate occasions.

Yours Sincerely,

Gal Sharif
Ministry of Defense

OOC: would i be correct in assuming that the sunderlands can use exocet? i hate to mar such wonderful aircraft with the underhanded use of unclassy modern weapons but i do have a paln of sorts...

oh and sorry for not following the main layout for orders.

IC:

Diplomatic note sent to Roycelandia

Commander Sword

We thank you for accepting our order and while the full funds are available we are delighted to take up your msot generously offered payment plan.

Please find enclosed a full set of government bonds and currency to fufill the 10% deposit balance.

Yours Sincerely,

Jospeh Faraday
-Secretary for Defence

OOC: All of Roycelandia's equipment will handle modern missiles, rockets, and so on. I'm just partial to the classics, that's all. ;)

The IAe Sunderland is more than capable of mounting an Exocet missile, and the mounts for such are standard on the planes you've received.

IC:

Communique to Strathdonia

Dear Mr. Faraday,

We would like to acknowledge receipt of the 10% deposit, and let you know that the 1st Sunderland Flying Boat has been despatched to you.

We trust it will be more than satisfactory, and look forward to the successful completion of this order, along with many more in the future.

[signed] Commander Jack Sword, IDB, Port Royal, Roycelandia