NationStates Jolt Archive

Here are the candidates:

President J.L. of the Patriot Party

Abbie Rubin of the Lefty Loosy Party. Favors 100% socialism, free health care, free education, free housing, free everything, the legalization of all drugs, abolishing each and every type of weapon, abolishing the police and military, mandatory school attendence, legalization of public nudity, removal of all types of censorship, and sharp increases in government spending in all areas except defense. Favors enormous taxes in order to "re-distribute the wealth and establish social equality."

Barry Insane of the Warmonger Party. The son of ex-dictator and war criminal Saddam Insane, Barry vows to "revive my father's legacy." He wants mandatory gun ownership for all citizens, regardless of age, compulsory military service for everyone between the ages of 4 and 85, tight regulation of businesses, octuple funding for defense, law and order, and foreign aid (all of which would go to terroristic factions and totalitarian regimes), the outlawing of all other political parties, repeal of all laws outlawing torture, a 75% reduction in population, forced sterilization of half of all women, and the establishment of re-education and concentration camps for 'educating dissenters...usually by violent means.'

Anne R. Key of the Radical Revolutionary Party. Favors no government!

Howard Ford of the Moderate Party. Was nominated by that party by a very narrow margin. Many of the more moderate moderates were alienated by Ford's radical, extremist moderate politics. A staunch anti-liberal and anti-conservative, he favors taking the most middle-of-the-road stance possible, in the exact center of the political spectrum. He plans to look at both the most liberal and the most conservative stances on each issue, and then make a decision that is as close to the center as possible.

Bozo the Clown (independent candidate). Free balloons and cotton candy, boys and girls!

Premier Vang (independent candidate). Plans to resign from the government and run for the Presidency himself. Favors forty-year terms for Presidents, 100% censorship of media, the outlawing of all political parties, the removal or destruction of all foreign military bases (and foreigners in general) in RB, and the establishment of an extremely authoritarian but benevolent military dictatorship.

And our final candidate is an unnamed naked mole rat (Naked Mole Rat Party). His stance on the issues is unknown.

My money's on the rat.

Does anyone have any questions for the candidates?

Canidates, the Dominion has the following question to be answered by all of you:

Is the glass half empty, or half full?

In Mole Rat We Trust!!!!

President J.L.: Half full

Rubin: Half empty! But we gotta give all the poor people full glasses and the fat-cat rich corporate slobs empty glasses! Power to the people!

Insane: My glass had better be full, or I shall have your head!

Key: No government! No government! No government! N- oh, sorry. Yeah, whatever, half full or half empty, as long as we take down the government!

Ford: Not quite half full, but not quite half empty. Exactly in the middle. Moderation in everything is the best policy.

Bozo: Want a balloon, boys and girls?

Vang: Half empty

Naked mole rat: ???

Any other questions?

OOC:Naked Mole Rat??? What ever...

J.L. all the way.


To-President J.L.
From-Skar Tactical Advisors Inc.

Greetings old friend! I would just like to inform you that my services are available in case you want any of the competition to...disapear. Let me know.

Skar

I feel that last question was bias against the mole rat!

Communist Louisiana supports Naked Mole Rat

Mole Rat! Mole Rat!

Mole Rat.

OOC:Naked Mole Rat??? What ever...

J.L. all the way.


To-President J.L.
From-Skar Tactical Advisors Inc.

Greetings old friend! I would just like to inform you that my services are available in case you want any of the competition to...disapear. Let me know.

Skar

To: Skar Tactical Advisors, Inc.
From: President J.L.

We'll let you know if we do. Thanks for the offer.

Yours truly,
J.L.

Thanks, Doomingsland, Grenval, New Zambuda, and Sarzonia!

Hey RB you're not really going to let the naked mole rat win, right?

The United Imperium of Crossman would like to donate $1million to the Naked Mole Rat campaign.

Hey RB you're not really going to let the naked mole rat win, right?
That's were my guy comes in, hehehe.

we are donating $1 million to the Naked Mole Rat Campaign

Hey RB you're not really going to let the naked mole rat win, right?

No. I don't think the people of RB would appreciate that. ;)

That's were my guy comes in, hehehe.

Actually, Skar, we could use your help. These donors might need to be dealt with...(grins maliciously)

And maybe (I'll let you know when I decide for sure), we could arrange for Insane to get in an 'accident.' After all, some of the roads are in pretty bad shape... :D

Great Idea RB. I've voted for The friend and ally of the alliance J.L.

Great Idea RB. I've voted for The friend and ally of the alliance J.L.

Thanks, Dailey! :)

OK, Insane will have an unfortunate accident if you wish, Skar will deploy in case-


RB International airport-

Skar stepped off the Air Doomingsland 747 to be greeted by an armed escort of RB MPs. He had his diplomatic passport, and went right through customs without a problem. He got into his rental car, a Hummer H1, his equiptment already their, and drove down to his hotel...

Actually, Skar, we could use your help. These donors might need to be dealt with...(grins maliciously)

i was joking about donating that 2 bits to the rats campaign.....

Hey, Doom, do you think Skar could arrange the 'accidental' deaths of all the other candidates? (Except the mole rat, I'll deal with him) Please make sure they look accidental and that none of it gets traced back to me. Thanks. And the price is Skar's to name.

I am stealing 2 million dollars from the Naked Mole Rat's campaign and giving it to J.L.

I am stealing 2 million dollars from the Naked Mole Rat's campaign and giving it to J.L.

Thanks! :)

Hey, Doom, do you think Skar could arrange the 'accidental' deaths of all the other candidates? (Except the mole rat, I'll deal with him) Please make sure they look accidental and that none of it gets traced back to me. Thanks. And the price is Skar's to name.

not trying to be mean or anything, but that would look waaaaaaay to obvious that you were trying to throw an election in J.L's favor!!!

Hey, Doom, do you think Skar could arrange the 'accidental' deaths of all the other candidates? (Except the mole rat, I'll deal with him) Please make sure they look accidental and that none of it gets traced back to me. Thanks. And the price is Skar's to name.
Hmmm, accidental... Skar thought to himself, I believe I can arrange that, hehehe.

Insane's mansion, Roach-Busters-

Skar's first order of buisiness would be to knock off Insane. He was the one who had brought his father to justice, so he figured the son shouldn't be any harder. He slipped over the ten-foot wall, and slipped past a guard. He climbed up an ivy plant growing on the side of the house, and went in through a window. He snuck into Insane's bedroom, were he was sound asleep. He moved over to the radiator, and puntured a hole in it. He then turned on the heat, and shut the window and door. If he was right, Insane would be found dead from carbon monoxide poisoning the next day...

Hmmm, accidental... Skar thought to himself, I believe I can arrange that, hehehe.

Insane's mansion, Roach-Busters-

Skar's first order of buisiness would be to knock off Insane. He was the one who had brought his father to justice, so he figured the son shouldn't be any harder. He slipped over the ten-foot wall, and slipped past a guard. He climbed up an ivy plant growing on the side of the house, and went in through a window. He snuck into Insane's bedroom, were he was sound asleep. He moved over to the radiator, and puntured a hole in it. He then turned on the heat, and shut the window and door. If he was right, Insane would be found dead from carbon monoxide poisoning the next day...

Thanks, Doom! Do you think you could arrange some more 'accidents,' for the rest of the candidates?

The nation of Communist Louisiana would like to donate 500 billion towards the campaign of naked mole rat.

bump

We the people want to be governed by the mole rat, naked or otherwise.

your not sireusly going to let the mole Rat win are you?

I voted

Would you like us to produce some lawn signs for you that read "All Hail the Mole Rat!!"?

Because at this rate um you need all the help you can get

Some Random Circus, Roach-Busters

Bozo the clown was preparing for his next performance, and Skar slipped in disguised as a clown. He slipped into the lion holding pens, and attched an electric device on them that would provoke them when activated. He walked out, changed into a suit, and watched the performance...

In the first act, Bozo was crossing a tight walk. Skar realized this could have been a good oppurtunity, but it would've been more obvious. In the next act, the lions were wheeled in from the cages, and let out, shocking the crowd. Bozo thought he knew what he was doing...

He commanded the lion to open its mouth, it oblidged, and Bozo stuck his head in. Skar took out the remote, disguised as a cell phine, and dialed a number.

CRACK

Bozo slumped to the ground, headless. The lion was in a fit of rage, and people began to file out. Another job well done...

Some Random Circus, Roach-Busters

Bozo the clown was preparing for his next performance, and Skar slipped in disguised as a clown. He slipped into the lion holding pens, and attched an electric device on them that would provoke them when activated. He walked out, changed into a suit, and watched the performance...

In the first act, Bozo was crossing a tight walk. Skar realized this could have been a good oppurtunity, but it would've been more obvious. In the next act, the lions were wheeled in from the cages, and let out, shocking the crowd. Bozo thought he knew what he was doing...

He commanded the lion to open its mouth, it oblidged, and Bozo stuck his head in. Skar took out the remote, disguised as a cell phine, and dialed a number.

CRACK

Bozo slumped to the ground, headless. The lion was in a fit of rage, and people began to file out. Another job well done...

Lol...:p That was awesome! Thanks very much! A job well done! Please take care of the other candidates, too.

your not sireusly going to let the mole Rat win are you?

Not to worry, I'll win. Trust me, this election is in good hands. ;)

Normaly I would suport my Friend JL but I am quite intersted in wha the mole rat would do!

I am quite intersted in wha the mole rat would do!

Probably nothing.

SPECIAL NOTE: Do not vote for Barry Insane or Bozo the Clown! They have both died very unfortunate, completely accidental deaths recently, and thus will no longer be running for President.

SECRET TG TO OFFICE OF THE MOLE RAT

We have reason to believe your life may be in danger. Never fear, we are here to protect you.

Signed,

Y.

(X is so 1980's.)
:p

SECRET TG TO OFFICE OF THE MOLE RAT

We have reason to believe your life may be in danger. Never fear, we are here to protect you.

Signed,

Y.

(X is so 1980's.)
:p

Not to worry, your protection is not needed. The naked mole rat isn't in any danger...(grins wickedly)

Not to worry, your protection is not needed. The naked mole rat isn't in any danger...(grins wickedly)

We deny any knowledge of what you are talking about.

SECRET IC-
Man 1: Uhh...boss?
Man 2: Uhh. *Reads TG intercept* Time to roll.
*Pizza Van parked in front of Mole Rat's office drives away*
Man 1: This reminds me of last time.
Man 2: Now you know very well that was the camels fault.
Man 1: Yessir. Man, HQ is going to be pissed.
Man 2: Get on the line to them.
Man 1: What the? Our link has been severed?

And so the two incompetent agents were forgotten about.

Some Hippy Bar, Roach-Busters

Skar entered the bar dressed as a hippy, and quickly got his target in sight.

This is why I love my country... he thought to himself, watching the hippies pass a joint. Well, time end their suffering...this will turn out to be a good anti-drug ad, hehehe

He approached the hippies, all of them very high, and handed the one sitting next to the target a joint. This was no mere joint, however, as it was laced with a neuro toxin that would kick in an hour later, leaving traces of ecstacy overdose.

The hippy took the joint, lit it, and passed it, mistaking Skar for a magical leprochaun.

bump

Abbie Rubin has the endorsement of Chief Jabari Abdul-Shabbaz Ruhollah Mh'ii Tso Shoobooshaaba. In our creator, the goddess Shaabdullah's name, we pray for your victory. May her seventh eye watch over you, my brother.

bump

Secret Communique to the Mole Rat

You are invited to Praetonia on a state visit. Accept and we shall give you several million Praefelis. ACCEPT NOW!

Vang's mansion, Roach-Busters
Skar had quietly slipped in, disguised as a vallet parker. Vang's driver was done for that day, and unknowingly turned the keys over to a hitman. Skar pulled into the garage, and got under the car, crawling toward the brake cable, and planted a small device on it. He quietly slipped away, arrousing no attention.


Highway 91, Roach-Busters, the next day

Premier Vang was driving along a winding cliff path around a tall montain. His driver was about to break to make a turn, when Skar hit a remote, severing the brake cable, sending the limo plummetting to its doom, and errupting in a ball of fire when it hit the ground.

OOC: can I abduct the mole rat for study? My nation wants to know about the genetics of a politically active naked mole rat. And maybe if it would be useful for our soldiers or our cattle.

We are a space nation and a UFO flying in, shooting down the SAMs that fire at it (with its inbuilt laser turret) and just ignoring the rest (with sheilds), 2 armoured things in suits that deflect bullets (and small shells) grabbing the rat and running away with it could be a good ending to you election.

I promise to probe it, clone it and return three of them as a form of interest payment. After the election of course.....

The large black limo approached the Mole Rat's house. On the front and back flew four small Praetonian Flags. The car pulled up and a driver steped out. He walked up to the Mole Rat's front door and knocked. There was a long wait until the Mole Rat climbed out through the cat flap in the door. The driver picked him up carefully and put him in a luxurious box apartment, and carried him to the car. Opening the door and picking him out of the box, he placed the rat in a massive hampster run adapted for mole rat use that took up much of the car. The limo started up straight away and made it's way to the airport so that the Mole Rat could begin it's first state visit in Praetonia.

Vang's mansion, Roach-Busters
Skar had quietly slipped in, disguised as a vallet parker. Vang's driver was done for that day, and unknowingly turned the keys over to a hitman. Skar pulled into the garage, and got under the car, crawling toward the brake cable, and planted a small device on it. He quietly slipped away, arrousing no attention.


Highway 91, Roach-Busters, the next day

Premier Vang was driving along a winding cliff path around a tall montain. His driver was about to break to make a turn, when Skar hit a remote, severing the brake cable, sending the limo plummetting to its doom, and errupting in a ball of fire when it hit the ground.

that is one heck of a cool way to kill someone!! i prefer a more subtle appraoch though. like hiding a shotgun with a folding stock inside a box of roses an then going up to the canadites mansion and pretend your from a local florist shop and ask that you deliver them in person and when you get to the canadite, open the box grab the shotgun drop the box and shoot him. just my personal way of disposing of someone. at least you know that they are dead and you dont have to wonder if your stuff didnt work because of someone finding out.

that is one heck of a cool way to kill someone!! i prefer a more subtle appraoch though. like hiding a shotgun with a folding stock inside a box of roses an then going up to the canadites mansion and pretend your from a local florist shop and ask that you deliver them in person and when you get to the canadite, open the box grab the shotgun drop the box and shoot him. just my personal way of disposing of someone. at least you know that they are dead and you dont have to wonder if your stuff didnt work because of someone finding out.
OOC:Yeah, that's what I would do, but I have to make it look like an accident.

OOC:Yeah, that's what I would do, but I have to make it look like an accident.

OOC: i got the idea to do that from the Hitman PC game series. also ive gone away from my god moding ways. could you also arrange some "accidents" for some corrupt members of my government?

Vang's mansion, Roach-Busters
Skar had quietly slipped in, disguised as a vallet parker. Vang's driver was done for that day, and unknowingly turned the keys over to a hitman. Skar pulled into the garage, and got under the car, crawling toward the brake cable, and planted a small device on it. He quietly slipped away, arrousing no attention.


Highway 91, Roach-Busters, the next day

Premier Vang was driving along a winding cliff path around a tall montain. His driver was about to break to make a turn, when Skar hit a remote, severing the brake cable, sending the limo plummetting to its doom, and errupting in a ball of fire when it hit the ground.

Lol, thanks, Doom! That was awesome! :D

Just two more candidates to go...

bump

OOC: i got the idea to do that from the Hitman PC game series. also ive gone away from my god moding ways. could you also arrange some "accidents" for some corrupt members of my government?
OOC:Yeah, I love the Hitman games. I'll see what I can do with those corrupt guys after I'm done with this contract.

Ford's house, Roach-Busters

Skar quietly moved through the quiet suburban neighborhood, and moved onto Ford's lawn. It was a small, one story house, no guards in sight. This would be one of the easier hits. He climbed up onto the roof, and droped into the attic. He then dropped the stairs, and proceeded to the kitchen. He pulled out a can of JP5 jetfuel, and oured it onto the stove. He then set the stove on a delayed starter, and ran the hell away. 10 minutes later, the house was engulfed in flames. When the fire department arived, there was no one left alive.

Where does each candidate stand on civil rights in general?

My money's on the rat.

Liberal Rally, Roach-Busters

Ska approached his final target, Abbie Rubin, dressed as a technician working with the lights. He cimbed up, and attached a small explosive charge on a cord holding up the lights. 2 hours later, she made her speech, half way through, Skar triggered the detonater, and the lights came crashing down on top. The contract was complete.
-----------------------------

Meanwhile, evidence was constantly being planted in the mole-rat's mansion, including the poisonous joint, several cans of JP5 jet fuel, the break cable cutter, and the micro explosive. All of this should be enough to indict the mole rat for murder...

Meanwhile the Mole Rat was happily making it's way to the airport to visit Praetonia. The Rat was running around in it's cage, happy that it would soon be the first Mole Rat to go on a state visit. The limo continued towards the airport, it's four little Praetonian flags blowing in the wind...

Meanwhile the Mole Rat was happily making it's way to the airport to visit Praetonia. The Rat was running around in it's cage, happy that it would soon be the first Mole Rat to go on a state visit. The limo continued towards the airport, it's four little Praetonian flags blowing in the wind...

Excuse me, but I consider that godmoding/modding.

Brilliant, Doom! Absolutely brilliant! Thanks!

One billion dollars has been wired to Skar's account.

yay! in that case: I hope you dont mind me using future tech, we wont hurt any civilians i promise.

Outside the mole rat's mansion it was silent. The guards stood idly, bored but alert, as the recent rash of candidate deaths had put them on alert.

In the sky a shape fell from the dark. An automatic SAM unit fired at it, and a small object on the underbelly fired a small beam of light destroying three missiles,a fourth exploded blocked by some sort of energy field, doing no damage. The roach buster military would arrive soon, but the vessel had taken seconds to land.

Making considerably less noise than it should if it were of this world, it was a medium sized aircraft, but it landed on the spot like a VTOL just in front of the mansion. A hatch fell open and out of the darkness stepped two man shaped things.

They were in huge suits which were totally sealed and painted grey. They looked at the guards from their eye slits and began to run for the mansion firing their weapons at the guards. (the weapons fire a potent mix of tranquilzers for a "shotgun effect" if a target is resistant to one, another will get him)(targets hit will pass out quickly and sleep waking a few hours later refreshed and well) with an unnatural accuracy.

*awaits response*

OOC: i just want to abduct him and return him a few weeks later, JL can make him a national mascot or something later and everyone will be happy.

Like i said, i will probulate and clone him. Thouroughly. Would you like any clones?

Skar entered JL's office.

"Well Mr. President, I've completed my contract, and recieved payment. There is one more request, however... my company's headquarters has a huge roach infestation, massive, resiliant roaches, like the size of those bugs from Starship Troopers, and there just as bad at dying as a regular roach...

Hold up! RB has okayed my post or responded yet! I want to give him the chance to react (though unless he pulls anything extreme from the bag i should get the rat unhurt...)

Dominus Pele Kawau is suspicious of the recent deaths of nigh all canidates except for J.L., but we will not go any furthur than that.

As a sign of, friendship, and tradition, Dominus Pele Kawau sends one hundred and twenty black Hadulan irises hand picked by the Dominus himself to be spread on the path the newly inaugurated president's footsteps as he goes to give his inauguration speech, since it is well assumed that with the other canidates dead or missing that he will win the election.

Excuse me, but I consider that godmoding/modding.
I RPed picking him up, you didn't complain. Also I didnt RP the mole rat, he didnt really have much choice either way, but if you want them fine:

They kicked him out of the car and ran hi over with the back wheel. President JL wins.

lets face it. Jl is the best candidate anyway. He will run RB as he has before.

Anyway: Preatonia: I think he wants to Rp his reaction. I want to abduct the rat, but if he lest you have it instead, then I dont mind.

I think the problem with having a naked mole rat running is that too many of us have played fallout or fallout 2... (they pulled the plug on 3 :()

Skar entered JL's office.

"Well Mr. President, I've completed my contract, and recieved payment. There is one more request, however... my company's headquarters has a huge roach infestation, massive, resiliant roaches, like the size of those bugs from Starship Troopers, and there just as bad at dying as a regular roach...

"I'll be happy to help, Skar," J.L. said, after handing Skar a huge briefcase filled with a billion dollars. "10,000 marines, 25,000 exterminators, and 500 snipers will be sent to your headquarters at once to wipe them out."

"Thank you, you know who to call if you need any more anoying politicians knocked off." and with that, he exited the office, and headed to the airport.

"Thank you, you know who to call if you need any more anoying politicians knocked off." and with that, he exited the office, and headed to the airport.

"Thank you, Skar. We look forward to doing business with you again."

I vote for J.L all the way. You helped me out lots of time buddy, LONG LIVE J.L!

And Doom, nice job on the assasinations, your sweet at that. :sniper: :mp5: :mp5: :sniper: :sniper: :)

I vote for J.L all the way. You helped me out lots of time buddy, LONG LIVE J.L!

And Doom, nice job on the assasinations, your sweet at that. :sniper: :mp5: :mp5: :sniper: :sniper: :)

President J.L. thanks you for your support.