NationStates Jolt Archive


IDF Tobacco Corp begins broadcasting subliminal messages internationally

IDF
22-08-2004, 05:57
OOC; I'm tired and want a good laugh.

IC: (goes to newsroom on TV)
Hello welcome to CNN INternational news. I'm your host Todd Tucker. Tonight our top story is a new terror warning (fat bald guy with a cigarette appears on screen for a second and says "SMOKE" and it returns to Todd Tucker's news desk.)

Al Qaeda says they will attack the US soon. (same guy appears and utters smoke).

It is believed they will try and stop US elections
(guy appears and says:
http://www.evilmonkey.tv/downloads/wallpaper/8x6smokebg.gif)



IDF Tobacco HQ Our subliminal messaging is getting people to smoke in other nations at record numbers good job boys.

(guy appears and says SMOKE)
Not now Ted
Communist Mississippi
22-08-2004, 06:01
90% of CM males above 14 (Tobacco age) smoke, chew, or sniff tobacco. But it's all Fabus Premium or Salazar Imperial.
Kanabia
22-08-2004, 06:21
A 30 year old man was today arrested in Kanabia for holding up a tobacconist with a zippo lighter and deodorant can while wearing a baseball cap with the IDF Tobacco Corporation logo on it. He claimed that CNN made him do it, and broke into hysteria and surrendered to police when the man behind the counter informed him that IDF tobacco is a restricted import.

The Kanabian Broadcasting Agency is investigating.
The Parthians
22-08-2004, 06:33
The Shah of Parthia watched the news and felt the need to smoke, pressing the intercom button he said, "Get me a glass of brandy and a cigar." The servant came, bearing the Shah's needs. Clipping the tip of the cigar, the servant burned the edges of the tip of the cigar for an even burn of the Romeo y Julieta and handed it to the Shah, who lit the center and inhaled in the smoke.
Sephrioth
22-08-2004, 06:34
occ the sepriothionan goverment will not tolerate this
ic fire all orbital weapons at idf tobaco farms and factories
Corrupted Intentions
22-08-2004, 06:35
The Allied States of Corrupted Intentions would like to inform you that your ploy doesn't work here so please just cut it out. We'd also like to inform you that your product is inferior and if you'd like we can begin a trade of tobacco and alcohol. Our speciality is a vodka made of spring water and geneticilly altered winter wheat. Um... yeah that's all.
The Parthians
22-08-2004, 06:35
occ the sepriothionan goverment will not tolerate this
ic fire all orbital weapons at idf tobaco farms and factories

Ahura Mazda drops a giant fireball on Sephrioth, killing everyone.
Sephrioth
22-08-2004, 06:38
dumb ass im in a diferent gallexy no on earth
Kanabia
22-08-2004, 06:39
Update! Due to discovery of subliminal messages within CNN, the government is now jamming all transmissions of this network until they are removed.

A survey on the street showed that only 1 person out of 200 interviewed relied on CNN as a primary information source and actually cared.
The Parthians
22-08-2004, 06:40
dumb ass im in a diferent gallexy no on earth

Still, Ahura Mazda killed you with the sacred flame.
Hadula
22-08-2004, 06:42
Unlike CM, smoking isn't very popular in Hadula. Only 30% of the smoking age smoke, and only in private palces, and is public facilities and outdoors due to second hand smoke dangers it is universally banned.
Sephrioth
22-08-2004, 06:45
and then launch a nuclear strike on idf 10 demon 5 mt icbms
Sdaeriji
22-08-2004, 06:48
ooc: I'd like to point out that after reading this post I went out onto my porch and had a pipe.
Sephrioth
22-08-2004, 06:50
and follow that up with the ifirat nerve gas
The Parthians
22-08-2004, 06:52
Ahura Mazda swats all of Sephiroth's missiles from the skies and then redirects them to Sephiroth.
Granzi
22-08-2004, 06:53
New Flash!

The Granzian government has announced today that all broadcasts from IDF will be suspended indefinantly until further notice. When asked to elaborate, Health Minister Speal cited the Advertising Act of 1978, which "specifically bans open advertising of cigarette/tobacco products on mass media." Only one channel, Cable INN, offered occasional IDF news broadcasts, which were immediately replaced by episodes of The News Hour. A recent 8/21 street survey by GBN showed only 5.4% of Granzians smoke, almost none of which purchase IDF tobacco.
Sephrioth
22-08-2004, 06:55
dude ya cant do that
The Parthians
22-08-2004, 06:58
Do you like how it feels to be godmodded?

Ahura Mazda raises the dead out of their graves in Sephrioth and commands them to attack the living.
Sephrioth
22-08-2004, 06:58
'enough kidding' around ruffus was ticked off send 1000 sentinal warriors to idf he ordered ''yes sir'' says genrall jackson
Granzi
22-08-2004, 06:59
OOC: Don't start something in this thread, you're both moving off topic.
The Parthians
22-08-2004, 07:00
OOC: Don't start something in this thread, you're both moving off topic.

OOC: I'm trying to make a point to Sephrioth.
Granzi
22-08-2004, 07:02
OOC: Yeah, I know. But it seems the explaining will take more than a few posts and end up cluttering the thread.
Vastiva
22-08-2004, 07:14
(Highlights from VNN channel 722 broadcast)

And in other news, the capital was host to perhaps the first sit-in in Vastivan history as several dozen fraternities appeared and requested the importation of IDF tobaccos for consumption.

Vizier Voyate Shumash ben Allen met directly with the leaders of the sit in after their ninth hour of politely taking up all the seats in the lower waiting lobby of Government Centre. After a short talk, it was determined that Vastiva would agree to seek importation of IDF tobaccos, with the amount determined by the GPA of the protesting students at the end of the scholastic year.

"We were going to do it anyway," ben Allen stated later, "but this gives them a certain... motivation to stop cluttering our lounges."

He also stated chairs in the lounges will be replaced with long couches.

Elsewhere in the news, librarians filed a formal requests for all facilities to extend hours to 24/7 in response to sudden and overwhelming requests for library cards...
IDF
28-08-2004, 06:46
OOC: all this from me just making something out of a funny "Family Guy" episode.