NationStates Jolt Archive

[OOC note: This thread is thought to be for international incidents between nations in the Beleriand Region, and so more or less private. Posts from nations outside the regions are welcome as long they suit in (whatever this means)]

Amidst a cheering crowd a regal figure, wearing a jewel-ornamented circlet, an exquisite train and a Simpsons t-shirt steps on a podium and bids for silence.

People of Nargothrond, and all good races of Beleriand! This is a day of unmarred joy! Well.. nearly unmarred, but you see me in best health after this vile and cowardly assault on my regal body by some elements of the Silmarildorian diet coffee industry. Their foul eggs did not achieve much more than to temporarily soil my royal garb, but their staked heads at the entrance of the Halls will remind everyone that the Valar do not count Diet Coffee amongst Soda Pop, and every one who thinks differently is advised to silence and listen to Manwe's voice.

And Manwe's voice rang clearly today, designing his wise Follower, Finrod Felagund, Friend of Man, Lord of Caves, Most Beloved of the Noldor race as High King of all Noldor and all Beleriand. We have received first presents of approval from the loyal nation of Turtletania, and will thankfully stuff our pipe tonight with their weed.

As act of repentence for the untolerable deeds of some of his subjects, his Majesty Elorn has agreed to post here all past diplomatic notes of the recent past, since our old information networks besed on Cirth-64 computers couldn't cope with the recent traffic. Please, brother, post and be forgiven.

Dear fellow rulers,

As a strong supporter of truthful memory of the past, I hereby grant you all a look in the grandiose annals of Silmarildor, starting with our most earliest memories of our grand continent.

With kindness,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

By: The Kingdom of Finrod Felagund

My beloved brothers (and sisters)!

Welcome to our old and new home! Of course I have taken up my old caves again, at least I will do once they have been cleaned of this dragon dung. Let's avoid the mistakes we made in the past by our blindness and forget the small petty wars that divided us in the past.

Support my claim for the title High King of the Noldor! (and a bucket full of fine Nargothrond Dragon Sausages shall be yours!)

Your (High) King Finrod Felagund.



By: The Kingdom of The Disposessed

My beloved cousin,

Surely thou hast not fogotten that the High Kingship runs in the family? Namely, in *my* family? As direct descendant of Finwe and higher in birth than thou, the title of High King (or Queen) is rightfully mine! My own. My preciouss.

"Give it to me, I must have it"

Feandis Daughter of Feanor.



By: The Constitutional Monarchy of Silmarildor

Dear forefathers (and foremothers),

How nice it is to see that you have returned to mortal lands, have you become bored of eternal bliss in the blessed realm once again?

Although I have the deepest respect for your sovereignty over your own people, I do fear that going back to older days by selecting someone with an ancient and crumbled spirit as our high king (or queen) will also bring back the mistakes and ruin of old.
Would it not be better to embrace the young and the new and select a more logical choice for our leader? I say that we should pick one with Maiar, Elda, Sinda and Atani blood, so that (s)he may represent all our people in equality!

But where might we find such a blessed being in these forgotten lands you say? I have joyous news for you! As the firstborn son of Elessar Telcontar and Arwen Undómiel, I just so happen to represent all these bloodlines.

With modesty and humility I offer to take this tremendous burden upon myself and lead all our people into new bliss and prosperity.

May the light of my great grandfathers star shine over all our lands!

With the highest respect,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.



By: The Kingdom of The Disposessed

Dear aftercomers,

I do not know about my fair cousin, but my coming to the mortal lands began with the tiredness of having seven dead brothers in various stages of re-embodiment and one father who calls us to the Halls of Mandos for daily family reunions. As you can easily imagine, life in Beleriand proves much better (in spite of malicious neighbours).

Your Majesty Elorn, I truly hope thou dost not mean we have an ancient and crumbled spirit... ? ... In any case, thy claim against age and wisdom is entirely not founded. We have seen the defeat and have learnt from it; and no matter the count of years it is the wisdom of the elder (that is us), who have witnessed the Bliss, that can see the realm of Beleriand to a rise perhaps as great as that of Valinor of old.

The burden of this is indeed tremendous, and must be placed on appropriate shoulders. Let the young learn until they can themselves rule.

By the light of the lost Silmarils,
respectfully,
Heir of the House of Fëanor, King (don't ask) of the Lost Realms of Maitimo, Macalaurë etc. etc., Fëandis Séranna



By: The Holy Empire of Turtletania

Yo dudes, relax man, and you shall recieve in the end!

Smoke weed and be free! And what is all the obsession about blood man? Dont put them in lines eh, that is just silly man! It will be much better if you just come home to my place and chill out! That would be so cool, you know what I mean?

And yo! leading the people into bliss and prosperity... that's just emotional dude...

Smoke on!

High Turtle Master Weedhead Smokealot



By: The Kingdom of The Disposessed

We're in the middle of age-long family feuds here! We cannot just put it down... what would we live for then except to unnerve our 'relatives'? ;)



By: The Kingdom of Finrod Felagund

My dearest con-rulers,

with sadness I see that Melkor's seed of discontent has flung its plantlings even into this blissful beginning.

Let us not seek division, but unity. My dear aftercomer Elorn, please take this fatherly advice of someone who has seen more kingdoms rise and fall than your considerable count of titles: Never was it that very human concept of logic that showed to path to bliss. Logic is one of the ancient machinations of Melkor. Nay, in the will of Manwe the true path alone is visible. But I will come back to that.

My dearest cousin Feandis... how could I deny the title from you? Since a Queen you are, both in your radiant beauty and your skilful choice of words for rebuking insolent upstarts. It is well that you point at the wisdom of the elder, and as one who has been called the wise by many races I will soon offer counsel. But first please now, that the title of High Queen is denied to you by none less than the decree of the Valar themselves. Spare me to remember you about the curse that was lain upon your house. But if they decide to lift it, I will of course follow you.

And to you, Master Smokealot: Eru's wisdom is inscrutable indeed, so that even the wisest cannot see the fateful need of your presence in our fair region. I must ever think about what Manwe said... evil shall have yet good to have been. Maybe that goes for drug induced idiocy as well.

But now hear, my brethren, for in my contemplation the will of Manwe is revealed, in whose contemplation in turn the will of Eru is revealed: That we must trust in the guiding power of the fated way that lies clear ahead of us. And it tells me, that whoever leads the U.N. ranking tomorrow, in whatever essential category it may show itself, is clearly the favourite of Manwe for the crown of the High King, until Manwe reveals something new to me.

Faith and Wisom, brothers and sister, from Lord Finrod Felagund, Lord of the Caves.



By: The Constitutional Monarchy of Silmarildor

Dear foremother,

Yes, I can understand that having to deal with such an obnoxious and self-important group of siblings must have been quite tiring, I hope you find some peace here in these (mostly) deserted lands. I will gladly take the burden of rulership onto myself so that you can truly rest, and have no worries about matters of state.
However, need I truly remind you what happened to the last new-born island that strove to attain the greatness of Valinor of old? But such is the pride of the old, those who have already proven their affinity for failure. This is why the unspoiled, the pure should rule, and not those with tainted souls! Let me lead you to new happiness on these clean lands, as my great grandfather once led his people to new-found happiness across the wide seas as well. The young have stood in the shadows of the failure of their forefathers long enough now, and we have learned from your mistakes. Let us be the ones to not repeat them!

And to you, my dear cousin Weedhead Smokealot, have I told you yet that my country holds high the ideals of smoking marihuana? Any individual is free to smoke this blissful substance in the privacy of their own homes, alone or with friends. Perhaps you would like to come by on an official state visit to see the wonders of Silmarildors civil freedoms for yourself? We could liberate our minds and enjoy the comforts of a pleasant joint in the privacy of one my royal strongholds or palaces.

With the highest respect and a kind fondness to you both,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.



By: The Holy Empire of Turtletania

Settle it over a good peace pipe dude!
Dont be so hard on yourself man, you have alot to live for!... There are the birds and the trees, and we can enjoy them together... Except for those that were cut down to make way for the uranium mine... but we got to have light, know what I mean eh? There is still like 98% rain forrest left eh.

Smoke on!

High Turtle Masrer Weedhead Smokealot



By: The Constitutional Monarchy of Silmarildor

My dearest Forefather,

High has been your standing in my mind, after hearing the tales of old, and not without good reason I see. Yes I say! Let the will of Valar show us the path to true bliss and let us submit us to their will. Whomever shines the brightest on the next day (and who could doubt that it would be the great grandchild of the morning star himself that shines brightest in the morning), shall have my vote.

With the highest respect,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.



By: The Holy Empire of Turtletania

hey Finrod dude! There is no idiocy here man! We have just attained a higher understanding of the universe dude. It's all about love man! Dont you see?

And Yo Dude Elorn! That sounds like a rocking idea man! I will get the girls to arrange a meeting a once, so we can share our universal thoughts!
May the largest turtle guard your borders dude!
See yo soon!

Smoke on!

High Turtle Master Weedhead Smokealot



By: The Kingdom of Finrod Felagund

Stand in awe my fellow brethren and behold the Wisdom of the Valar! My spine still shivers when thinking of the deep symbolism to chose the Pop Soda industry as manifestation of Manwe's wiil. I bow humbly before him and reluctantly put the High Crown of Belerian upon my head. Also sister and brothers... see the ranking as a sign that Manwe disaproves of your all too human style of leading your undoubtly worthy nations. Think twice and return to the true way of the Valar.

Finrod Felagund, Nom the Wise, Lord of the Caves, High King of all the Noldor race. I am looking forward to receive the presents of your worship and approval soon.



By: The Constitutional Monarchy of Silmarildor

The citizens of Silmarildor demand a recount! It’s quite clear that the large majority of Diet Coffee Soda entrepreneurs in our great nation has been completely ignored in this count! It’s a clear case of discrimination if we’ve ever seen one!

Don’t misunderstand my wise forefather, I hold you in high regard and am sure you will make a fine high king, and you have my personal blessing, but I have to consider the wishes of my population!
I will support your claims for now, and quell the riots in my streets with wise and calming words, but I demand a full investigation of the hideous and corrupt crime that has been committed against the fair people of Silmarildor!

With the highest respect,
His Disgruntled Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.



By: The Constitutional Monarchy of Silmarildor

[ In other news:
A crowd of three people, claiming to be representatives of a gigantic Diet Coffee Soda Sector in Silmarildor were arrested for pelting Finrod Felagund with rotten eggs during his coronation. As they were being dragged away they managed to explain to the amassed media that they were only protecting their rights to be counted as true Soda Pop entrepreneurs. ]



By: The Holy Empire of Turtletania

Yo dude! I have sent a shipment of the finest weed to congratulate you, damn good it is man! People been working very hard to collect it for yo, you should be very happy man!

Smoke On!

High Turtle Master Weedhead Smokealot.

Watches from the shadows in silence, holding a feanorian flag, and has only one thing to say, namely that the Eldar have really evolved if they now appear at coronations in Simpsons T-shirts...

((OOC: last post of the Beleriand messages))

By: The Kingdom of the Disposessed

Dearest cousin,

"wisdom of the Valar"? You knew the results would be these (and if you did not know then I knew). But we all know (and if we all don't know, then we learn it now) that the real wisdom that runs the affairs in Kingdoms can usually be found around the throne, not upon it, and is almost always* of the feminine gender. The results, ergo, are perfectly acceptable, and I congratulate you for becoming High King.

Does my ranking as second in Beleriand grant me the position of counsellor to the High King?

Feandis Daughter of Feanor

Eyes aflame, His majesty Elorn raises from his throne...

What!? The elder born were aware of the results that were to come!? This is unforgivable! That old fool can keep his crown, for we all know what those before him did with it anyway... but we must have our share of this fine weed that was send to him as a bribery by those druggies from Turtletania!

He sits down abruptly and stares over the room in thought, his advisors shunning his gaze as it passes over them. Finally, after several long minutes, he calls for his scribe and starts to dictate a message to the other rulers of Beleriand.

My dear forefather, Highest of Kings,

Once more my congratulations on your new position, one I'm sure you'll prove yourself more then worthy off. For example by showing the compassion with which a true high king leads, by sharing with us the gifts that have been granted to you at your coronation. It is my humble thought that this show of charity would make a great entry in the annals of our glorious region.

Most Humbly,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

My dear child Elorn,

I thank you again for your kind words. How I wished I could share the treasures of my Halls with those that are worthy, but regrettably the givings of our loyal nation of Turtletania where rich in quality, but rather meager in size, which is to say that there a none left now.

But this serves as the right opportunity to remind you of that for some unfathomable reason your present of coronation didn't arrive yet at my halls. With all my heart I hope it were not those rotting eggs that your spoiled subjects cast at me yesterday. Coming to speak of which, my messengers sends you my soiled garment along with the message, I am sure you will understand the honour and clean it with your own hands.

Your fatherly friend,
Finrod Felagund


My dearest Queen Feandis,

of course the outcome was clear as a shining Silmaril, since the will of the Valar is not hidden to those that are wise enough to hearken. No matter if we know about our fate, or if we are oblivious, the things will came as their were sung and will be sung in choirs of Eru's children.

Also, I would not be called the wise if I would reject the outstreched hand of another worthy branch of the noble House of our all father Finwe, whose place I try to fill now in all due humbleness. So I thank you for your kind words, and gladly we accept your counsels, and rest assured, I will not fail to correctly evaluate their worth.

Your gracious High King,
Finrod Felagund

*sinks back into his chair comfortably and mumbles to himself: "Excellent! This spoilt child Elorn will far easier to control than this old hag Melian ever was. And there can be no better advisor than a true Feanorian, since it I will know from the beggining which course will lead into utter destruction and dispair..."*

Surrounded by the blessed weed fog, high in Turtletania Citadel sits Weedhead Smokealot and broadcasts a message on the governerment television "High Times Television Network"

Yo! My fellow inhabitents of Turtletania! and friendly dudes from our neighbouring countries.
There seem to have been alot of interest in our fine weed, and I have therefore ordered production to be doubled! To celebrate this decision, this day will now be known as a Turtletanian holliday!
This is just emotional man!.... can someone give me a massage?..... Oh I'm still on the air....

*The usual program returns on the screen*

My dear father,

Your message brought true tears to my eyes! You addressed me as your child! Does this mean that the rumours are true, that you are willing, in the kindness of your heart, to adopt me as your own son? Oh! What joy this brings to my heart, I will immediately have all the official papers (especially those concerning rights of heritage) prepared and send to you!

I fear I have terrible news however, having heart of your prior knowledge of the results of those fateful UN rankings, my people have erupted in rage and attacked your messenger before he could arrive at the steps of my palace. He conveyed your message to me with his dying breath, but I fear it was too late for your precious ceremonial garbs, they were burned in the streets by the angry mob.
But! Hold no grudge against them my lord, for is it not true that old days have passed and new have come? And with them new customs have come as well. I humbly offer your my opinion that you looked fabulous at your coronation and that the emblem of this well known tv-character “Homer” fits your rule much better then those old garbs you used to wear, they were just so... passé.

But let me assure you, the only reason my present has yet to arrive is that it’s so magnificent that it took a while to gather it together. But included with this message it is!
And how nicely does today’s UN ranking light up the path of my present to you. In the light of my nations fight for nature and a better environment for all of Beleriand, I hereby present you with a truckload of our best manure, so that you may fertilise all your lands! It has been gathered right out of my royal palaces stables (and latrines), so it can truly be called Royal Manure!

With Humble Delight,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

Having finished dictating the message and having send his messenger off to Nargothrond, His Majesty Elorn stands from his throne and smiles gleefully, then picks up the set of darts lying on his table and takes aim at the messenger from king Finrod, dressed up in his lords ceremonial garbs and wearing a (quite popular) Finrod Felagund-mask.
After scoring a wonderful hit in the region below the belt, he turns to the only other person present, his most trusted advisor, who can only be seen as a dark figure standing in the shadows for dramatic purposes.

“I think it’s time we execute plan Anarya.”

His advisor just nods and leaves the room silently.

Greetings to my fair kindred, and to you Hildor all, and especially to the House of Finarfin. Hi Dad! It's me, Finny! *waves*

Welcome to the blessed lands this side of the sea! I am overjoyed that so many have followed my unuttered call to gather below the tree of my wisdom.

You only have come a few days short to witness my coronation as the uncontested High King of the Noldor and all Beleriand by the will of the Valar, but not too late to send presents of your approval to the mighty Halls of Nargothrond. (Yes, atar, I will clean them up real soon!)

May the Light of Trees within us bless these our lands, that they shall remain unmarred finally!

High King Finrod Felagund, aka Nom the Wise to the Hildor

P.S.: You return just on time, Beor! My boots are in dire need of a cleaning.

Later that day, on the front page of the Silmarildor Herald:

Population of Silmarildor, let it be known that on this magnificent Sunday, our hard work for Yavanna's cause has finally been rewarded with the respect that we were due! May all of Beleriand know that on this blessed sunday, Silmarildor was ranked number one on the UN rankings for being the most environmentally progressive nation in the entire region!


Similar messages appeared in all the major (and minor) newspapers of Silmarildor, and the topic was touched in many of that weeks television shows.

Reads the letter, nods approvingly, but with great reluctance knowing that Finrod Felagund is not one to be tricked easily, and retires to her chambers with a splitting headache. The climate of Beleriand has never agreed with the Feanorians, and that grass in which she has meditated yesterday must be pure evil for her back.

mutters to herself "Presents of approval! Bah!"

However, she sends a painted view of Nargothrond, so that the new High King may have inspiration in the matter of redecorating his Halls.

Fools! The House of Feanor contests this claim to the throne. For what is the realm of Finrod, but a scorched wasteland, like the pernicious influence of Morgoth Bauglir. You are a thrall, and a lord of slaves!

Manwe is but a gaoler for the Valar, what authority does he, lord of carrion fowl have!?

Maedhros
High King of the Noldor

Taps Maitimo's shoulder.

Grins the wide, nasty, feanorian grin.

Hello, brother.

OOC:
Was that addressed to me?

((OOC: Well, you said you were Maedhros IC... :D So yes.))

"Ah yes sister. We need to get rid of this upstart Felagund. How about another kinslaying?"

Grins the wide, nasty Feanorian grin

Wonders how to break the news.

This Felagund is... eh... my friend. So to say. And I am his counsellor. Or will be.

Has still not said half the story.

Maedhros looks angry, then reads out a scroll.

"By the order of the High King of the Noldor, Maedhros. I declare you cast out from the House of Feanor."

*Walks away, muttering*

Rolls eyes.

You cannot cast anyone from the House of Feanor. The same curse binds us everywhere and at any time. You should grow up, brother. This is the least nasty thing that a Feanorian has to accept.

"You insolent brat! Mandos is some fortune teller living in a rickity shack, surrounded by his imbecilic lamentations!"

*Maedhros walks off, plotting Felagund's downfall*

Shrugs

Ah, well, fortune teller or not, he still was right in what he said. And you shall not touch Finrod.

Maedhros looks back and shouts,

"Watch your back too! Or you'll get it like Felagund!"

*Maedhros disappers into the darkness*

------------------------------------------------------------

Twenty minutes later an arrow comes out of nowwhere, presumably from a cluster of trees. It hits the tree next to her, almost 20 centimetres from her face.

*A loud audible "damn!" could be heard from the cluster of trees*

Fair greetings to my cousin Maedhros!

I am overjoyed that you safely returned from the Halls of Mandos and still have retained some of the fire your family is so renowned of! As well I am delighted that the fine art of metaphors is not entirely lost in your house.

I see that you already have met your fair sister Feandis. She is Feanorian, yes, but tempered more after your mother, if I might say so, since she is so wise to acknowledge what cannot be denied. You can cuss at the Valar what you like, they are and their will is. All that you ever achieved being at strife with the world and its powers is ever and anew grief and sorrow (besides a remarkable amount of copyrights on songs).

Your house is the Dispossessed and will ever remain so, as long the light of a Silmaril still shines in Vingilot. Maybe you could ask ol' Earendil to give it to you. The only way to escape from the curse is to do as your sister and to turn from your Morgothin path of destruction. But, for all you had and still have to endure, you can have at least the pity and the sympathy of Finrod, if not his crown.

Thus speaks Finrod Felagund, High King of the Noldor.

My estemmed nephew, Finrod Felagund. Although I recognise the dispossesion of the House of Feanor, I am not willing to recognise you as the High King of the Noldor. Did not Maedhros himself let the Kingship pass to the House of Fingolfin, and not the House of Finarfin? Although you are educated nephew, you seem to have a lack of historical memory.

I hope this issue can be resolved in a more civilized manner than my Feanorian brothers.

Fingolfin

Challenger of Morgoth, Smiter of Evil and self-proclaimed all-round evil ass-kicker

Pulls arrow from tree, stalks over and waves it in front of Maitimo's nose.

Five ages in the Halls of Custody and you miss your target like a -- like a Telerin mariner! Shame on thee, brother, twice. And next time you think about hitting your sister, there will be trouble!

*Maedhros grumbles, jumps out of the bushes, then runs off*

Dear Uncle Fingolfin,

I am a bit concerned that the Halls of Mandos seem to be so leaking of late. I am glad that they let you out, too, but somehow I thought you enjoyed your eternal resting place amidst the peaks of the Crissaegrim, since it is a place so much worthier for your dignified body than troubling it with the petty wars of Beleriand again.

Well, but about the High King affair, all that I can say is, that we all know what happened last time: As soon the situation ceases to be all sunny, you get panicked, leave your people alone, and get hacked to pieces by the next best evil overlord. In other words, you had your chance, and failed, miserably. The crown is safe in the House of Finrod, where it should have been since the beginning.

signed, The High King.

At least I managed to wound Morgoth nine times! You on the other hand, marched past Sauron's Isle, then were imprisoned and tortured by Morgoth's servant.

I find your hipocrisy disgusting.

Fingolfin

Challenger of Morgoth, Smiter of Evil and self-proclaimed all-round evil ass-kicker

Dear Uncle Fingolfin,

no one denies the importance of your heroic deeds against Morgoth. Unfortunately, you belong to a generation now past and it truly is a wonder to me how Mandos could release you so soon. As the things stand, the crown of the High King has passed even from the noble House of Fingolfin. That is the course of events, uncle, and I am certain your wisdom will lead you into accepting the coronation as such.

Your respectful niece,
Feandis of the House of Feanor

PS. Yes, it is always soooooooo easy to accept the dispossession of the House of Feanor!... :mad:

My dear foremother,

I fully support your wise words! The sons and daughters of Finarfin, Fingolfin and Fëanor belong to a generation now past, let the crown of high king pass on to the young!

With the Highest Respect for your Wisdom,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

Dear and Highly Respected Sir Weedhead Smokealot,

I am very interested in the wonderful weed that your country is distributing in our great region. Perhaps we could arrange a permanent trade agreement between our two glorious nations? In trade for this blessed substance, we could offer you the usage of our magnificent soda bottle rockets, or perhaps something else that’s of interest to you.

With (platonic) love,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

Over the coming weeks, reported by all general, uncensored news sources.

A new variation of faith seems to be taking hold in Silmarildor, mostly lead by previously unknown wise-men, with unexplained access to large deposits of wealth.

Over time, priests of this new faith seem to be trying to expand to other nations as well, although their new and revolutionary ideas seem to have a much harder time finding root there.

After much debate and examination, some theology scholars claim that in essence, the new faith is exactly the same as the old, with one remarkable exception: it tells it’s followers that the divine judgement of the Valar is only made clear to the children of Ilúvatar on Sundays.

Wouv Dude, we are always interested in spreading the blessed weed!
Take contact with my super cool trade advicer Jack Pusher. He will take care of things man!

Smoke on!

High Turtle Master Weedhead Smokealot

My dear foremother,

I fully support your wise words! The sons and daughters of Finarfin, Fingolfin and Fëanor belong to a generation now past, let the crown of high king pass on to the young!

With the Highest Respect for your Wisdom,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

OOC:
Strange, isn't it. Is'nt Finrod Felagund the son of Finarfin :rolleyes:

OOC:
Strange, isn't it. Is'nt Finrod Felagund the son of Finarfin :rolleyes:

OOC:
He is, luckily Elorn isn't ;)

My dear foremother,

I fully support your wise words! The sons and daughters of Finarfin, Fingolfin and Fëanor belong to a generation now past, let the crown of high king pass on to the young!

With the Highest Respect for your Wisdom,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

My dear ancestor,
If you decide to become a claimant to the throne of Finwe, then being a descendant of Turgon [and therefore me] I will support you.

Good Sir Jack Pusher,

I’ve been told to contact you in name of His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc, about a trade agreement between our two nations.

My initial offer to you is to allow your nation to make use of our very advanced space program.
What I propose is the following: every month you will send us 10 ton of weed shipments, and in exchange, we will launch 100 kilograms of payload into orbit for you.
The nature of the payload will be up to you, with the only exception it may not be of a military nature.

If this arrangement works out well for both of our nations, then over time we would be willing to help you develop your own space program, in exchange for your help in cultivating our own weed fields.

With my sincere regards,

Okuba Toshabu
Minister of Export and Import of the Nation of Silmarildor

Your Majesty Elorn,

Surely you cannot forget that the 'oldies' you have mentioned are your honourable forefathers and therefore have more age and wisdom as rights to claim the crown. I suggest that you spend some more ages in the world and learn... we all are too proud to accept the rule of one younger than us, especially if he has the blood of Dark Elves and Mortals.

However, the Valar have already chosen and we have a High King. That is to say, all subsequent complaints are pointless, as are attempts to usurp the throne by any means.


Respectfully, dearest nephew of some degree,
Feandis of the House of Feanor, Counsellor of the High King.

My dear Forefather Fingolfin,

As you may have read in the annals of Beleriand (kept safe and sound in the vaults of the Great Silmarildor Library), Finrod Felagund skillfully tricked me into an unfair contest, so that he could claim the crown of High King instead of me. A situation much resembling the deception with which he faced Sauron (failing miserably), while you bravely stood face to face with Morgoth himself, and scored many glorious hits which wounds plague him until this very day.

But his deception has been unveiled and since the crown has never left our house after the brave Gil-Galad was slain, it is only proper that you decide who will wear it next. And ofcourse you should have the ear of whomever this would be, since your words are filled with wisdom and bravery.

Next to this, many wise-men in Silmarildor have come to believe that not only did Finrod know of the results of the contest before hand, but that the nature of the contest itself was illegal as well, and if it had been conducted on a Sunday, as it should have been, it would have been I that would have come out on top.

In the light of your wise words, and the unveiling of Finrods deceptions, I will hereby renew my claims to the crown of High King!

With the Highest Respect for your infinite Wisdom and Bravery,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.


Elorn taps his chin and thoughtfully looks over the ill-equipped bowmen that form his personal guard after he finishes his message. “I may have to consider getting myself some better protection, in the light of all these hostilities between the siblings of Feanor lately, once I get my crown, I could become a target as well…”

My dearest Elorn,
It is only fair that you recieve the crown, I having been High King already. Anyway, do we need the permission of the Valar!? No! Let us crown you now, and let the Noldor decide who is High King!

My dearest foremother,

My honourable forefathers all had their chance, and we all know how that ended. As you so skilfully state, many of them are too proud to accept anything, which was and still is their downfall.

As I already explained, Finrods pitiful ruse failed, and my people will stand for it no more! It is my duty to claim the crown of high king if the alternative is a serpent who would deceived his own descendants!

The wisdom of the Valar has blessed Elorn of Silmarildor, not Finrod of some stinking caves, on Anarya, the holy day of judgement.

Thus, with the blessing of the bravest and most valorous of our kind, Fingolfin, also named Finwë Ñolofinwë, wisest of sons, by his own father, the first high king of all the Noldor, I will now claim what is rightfully and dutifully mine.

My coronation ceremony will be tomorrow at noon, and together with it I will announce the details of the formation of the first council of Beleriand, which will lead our region into prosperity. I can already say that the title of first councillor and chairman of the council have been reserved for Lord Fingolfin, and the position of Minister of Entertainment has been reserved for High Turtle Master Weedhead Smokealot, if they wish to accept them.

Let it be known that High King Elorn will be a forgiving leader, and that those who wish to put down false claims of lordship and join him on his council, will be accepted with open arms.

With the Highest Respect for your contumacy,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

That day, among the relationship advertisements in the Silmarildor Herald:

King and soon-to-be High King seeks life-long companion. Ability to set up Girdle of Protection around countries a must, ability to change into various female shapes a definite plus. Maiar descend preferred, but depending on the exact nature, another racial background could be acceptable as well.

Interested individuals can contact me at whose@yourlord.sil

My dear child Elorn!

If you reject everything what my ever-giving hands offered you in the past, at least listen to this cousel that hails back from the Ages where Eldar and Atani were often at strife: You are only one step from taking the same fateful course as did Ulfang, the Accursed. I that know the hearts of men above all other Quendi, feel that an eternal shadow rests upon the even bravest of your kind, and treason against the High King will only awaken a sleeping darkness.

You speak of my coronation as a ruse, but this only shows, and please forgive me father harsh words, your youthful ignorance. I do not deny that the will of the Valar was clear to me. But it is no fraud to listen what the powers speak if you have a heart that still can perceive their voice. Your mind is all too entangled in human concepts of luck and even chances, failing to see that each falling coin falls to the will of the one.

Therefore I implore you to take back your unjust claim, and take again my outstretched hands of friendship. All the other houses I advise to follow the wisdom of Nargothrond, and remind you that only the rashness of an fated Hildor destroyed once its might.

Finrod Felagund, Friend of Men, High King of the Noldor.




Dear uncle Fingolfin,

have all the ages in the custody of Mandos shown you nothing? You can contest the Valar as you can contest a storm. You can hew your sword at it, disbelieve it, plead it to stop, it will keep blowing, and in the end everyone will bow to its furious glory. Your rashness was maybe fit for times of war, but this time calls for thoughtfulness.

Or have you become as forgetful as men? We have crossed the ice together, and heard the trumpets blow at the first rising of the moon. Do not speak against me any longer.


F.

Dear Finrod,

The disrespect you show towards lord Fingolfin, bravest and wisest of the Noldor is a clear sign of your own foolishness, and your inability to lead.

As I have already explained, but your ears seem to have gotten filled with the same substance that occupies the space that is supposed to contain your mind, the Valar did not bless you, for they do only show their wisdom on the holy day of Anarya, and on that day their judgement clearly pointed towards me, Elorn, the true High King of Beleriand.

Both you and your so called councillor should do a thorough study of my background. Although I share Atani blood, it is not the only kind that runs through my veins. Need I remind you that it is I, not you, that is blessed by a partially Maiar spirit, and am therefor closer to the Valar then you ever could be?

I warn you both, my kindness is great and my compassion is greater, but neither is bottomless.

With Respect for your Contumacy,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

An emergancy message is broadcasted over the Turtletanian national television network "The High Times Televison network"

To celebrate his superb and Excellent UN standing, Weedhead smokealot celebrated it by turning a whole power plant into one giant weed machine, and smoked it all... No one have seen his since, and our agents are still trying to find him!

The screen quikly returns to the normal program "Opium Winfrey"

Your majesty Elorn,


as I think I have already pointed out to you, there is no use crying over spilt limpe. The High King has already been elected and trying to deny this and drag the process over days until the chance serves Your purposes is unwise for the well-being and further developments of our lands. Therefore I advise you as your elder and perhaps as friend until the times may prove this wrong, to have the wisdom to accept a defeat with honour instead of wailing like a spoilt child that has not yet grown up (as you prove yourself to be, so far).


With entreatments of wisdom towards our younger relative,
Feandis of the House of Feanor, Counsellor of the High King


Shakes head, knowing somewhere deep inside that Elorn would never grow up.

Feandis of the House of Feanor,

You must well know that there can be no High King without the consent of the House of Fingolfin, and he has made his choice quite clear.

I have extended my hand in friendship and forgiveness, it is either accepted or denied, but the time for choices is not as endless as the curse on your house.

With Respect for your Contumacy,
His Majesty Elorn, The Sensible and Compassionate Lotus Flower of Redemption, Earthly Vessel of the Heavenly Light of the Morning Star, Heir to the Throne of Anor and Gondor long lost, Great Monarch of the newly founded nation of Silmarildor beyond The Seas, Keeper of the Annals of Beleriand, Last Descendant of the Royal Line of Gondolin, etc, etc.

Your majesty Elorn,

even the fact that you insist upon a person receiving everyone's approval for becoming High King shows your utterly childish grasp of political matters. No one can please everyone else, your majesty, so I advise you strongly to deal with the situation in a manner appropriate to an Elf, though that be just a tiny fraction of your blood, and to accept the state of things for once and until the next elections.

Yours respectfully,
Feandis Daughter of Feanor, Counsellor of the High King.

To Finrod:

And to you, I brook no arguement. Join us, or be put in the same lot as Morgoth. Your choice!

To Elorn:

I will gladly take up that position. (Secret message) We must gain the support of the Edain, most notably the Hadorians!

Rumours are surging through Turtletania about their stoned leaders whereabouts, and about a conspiracy taking place, deep within the ranks of the Turtletanian priesthood.

Who shall now lead the nation into universal understanding?

((OOC:
To whom it may concern.

The purpose of Beleriand was to live together with our neighbours in a general state of peace, or at least of decent wars. I do not know how old you people are in RL, but a silly fight for a bloody, stupid crown suggests that you still need a couple of years off in order to get the maturity to accept something that you do not like. Are we now going to kill one another so that the last may get the crown of High King? Like spoilt children arguing over a favourite toy? It seems something foolish and devoid of any intelligent co-ordinate, a total waste of breath and last but not least, something very, very disappointing. War and hatred are easy. Peace, self-restraint and tolerance are not. ))

To my fellow nations of Beleriand! I Weedhead Smokealot have returned after my recent ordeal, and have been beyound true sanity, and experienced true enlightment.

I have therefore decided that the former priesthood of turtletania shall have no saying in the nations state from now on, untill they too have experienced the bliss I have.

This may come to a shock for most, especially my population, but my all knowing mind shall guide them true these new times, so they too shall experience true enlightment!

The Enlightened One.