NationStates Jolt Archive


Child Punished for throwing a tantrum in public

Roycelandia
17-08-2004, 10:11
[dateline] Port Imperial, Roycelandia

A 4 year old child was punished by the Roycelandian Police today after throwing a tantrum in a Supermarket because his Mummy wouldn't buy him a lollipop.

Police were called after shoppers and staff complained about the incessant wailing, which the mother was powerless to stop.


The Police were praised for their prompt response, which initially consisted of trying to comfort the child and explain that Mummy couldn't afford lollipops, and with dinner coming soon it wouldn't be fair on Mummy to not eat the food she was cooking because of already having had a lollipop. When that didn't work, the Police tried explaining that the child was a selfish little brat who should stop crying because everyone else in the supermarket was getting sick of it. That didn't work, and finally, police were forced to resort to duct-taping the child's mouth shut and threatening to shoot the child's teddy bear if the crying didn't stop immediately. Another officer assisted the distraught mother, getting her rushed through the checkout, and then carried her groceries to the car for her. The woman's son was also escorted to the car, ordered to behave himself and listen to his parents, and not the throw tantrums ever again, and then the duct tape was removed.

"We just want everyone to know that the Imperial Police are here to help you" said a Police spokesman today. "We all have to live in his country together, and the last thing we need are screaming kids throwing tantrums and inconveniencing everyone, especially their hard working, long suffering parents."

Both parents praised the police for helping in what could have been "a difficult situation", and send their son to bed without any dessert as a punishment.

The usual groupings of hippies, commies, lefties, and civil rights nuts protested the "oppressive" and "draconian" treatment of a small child, but no-one really cares what they think, and the Imperial Government has no plans to amend the existing laws on the matter.
Mattikistan
17-08-2004, 10:26
OOC = Hahahaha, if only... :p

IC = Meh, what's the use...
Xanter
17-08-2004, 10:26
OOC:Shoulda shot the bear :rolleyes:
Dumpsterdam
17-08-2004, 10:29
Statement from Elizabeth Lane, social advisor:

I see your police likes cracking down on troublemakers, but a kid? Threatening to shoot her teddy bear? Monsters that you are, I'm gona find you and beat the living shit out of each and everyone one of your so called "Imperial Police"......

At that point she is dragged away from the camera by two heavily armed guards while screaming: I GOT YOUR NUMBER, I GOT ALL YOUR NUMBERS!
Roycelandia
17-08-2004, 10:41
The Imperial Police have dimissed Ms. Lane's comments as "The Raving of a lunatic", but stressed that they are always open to honest and fair criticism, provided it's not expressed too loudly, or anywhere near someone with a loaded firearm. :)

OOC: I actually used to work with someone called Elizabeth Lane. How weird is that? I'm assuming you just made that name up, of course...
Dumpsterdam
17-08-2004, 10:42
OC: Its the name of my g/f.....o_o don't tell me you live in Ireland.
Roycelandia
17-08-2004, 10:45
OOC: No, I live in Australia. Unless your gf lived in New Zealand, it's not the same person. Still, does she know you're using her name in a fictional sense to threaten large Countries with a penchant for Imperialism? :)
Mattikistan
17-08-2004, 10:48
OOC = So long as he isn't using her name to threaten large real countries, I don't think she has a problem :D
Dumpsterdam
17-08-2004, 10:53
OC: No she enjoys(in the form of getting her off) it when I threaten large countries, besides she's crazy...in a good way ;)
Roycelandia
17-08-2004, 10:58
OOC: That's Ok then... ;)
The Water Cooler
17-08-2004, 11:58
I say shoot the teddy!
Celtayoshi
17-08-2004, 13:01
After hearing about this most excellent law, a group of celtayoshi ministers has proposed Celtayoshi enact a similar law. Age is no excuse!
The Parthians
17-08-2004, 14:27
Parthia will enact similar laws.
Praetonia
17-08-2004, 14:30
The Praetonian Imperial Police are reviewing this incident with great interest. New operating guidelines should follow shortly.
Orange state
17-08-2004, 14:47
OOC: Its just keeps getting better

IC: orange state would advise use of torture if he wont stop. Nothing to severe, amybe just some electirc shock aversion therapy.
Roycelandia
17-08-2004, 14:50
The Imperial Roycelandian Government is pleased to see that our Laws meet International Approval. Our laws are not about oppressing people per se, just making sure that everyone's lives are as inconvenience free as possible (hey, we are a Libertarian Police State after all!) :)
DontPissUsOff
17-08-2004, 14:53
Hmm. We would be interested in commissioning a book, to be sent to the police and parents, called "How to deal with noisome brats: a guide for the victim." Would you be interested in making such a book?
Gorkon
17-08-2004, 14:54
Hmm. Our police would probably have just arrested the child. This way might prove cheaper...
Roycelandia
17-08-2004, 15:05
Well, the Police tried shooting noisy kids with Non-Lethal rounds at one point, but it tended to break the kid's bones in a variety of painful ways, and was largely counter productive. A stern talking to seems to work well, and the Threatening To Shoot The Teddy/Dolly tactic is now standard across the Empire. The officer responsible, Constable Brian Griffin, has been awarded a commendation and been promoted to Senior Sergeant for this breakthrough technique.

There has been some concern that the Roycelandian Imperial Police's problem solving technique seems to involve shooting things, threatening things with guns, or arresting anyone who disagrees with them, but the statistics speak for themselves: Crime is almost non-existant, Civil Liberties are at an all time high, and everyone is happy. Well, everyone who's opinion matters...