NationStates Jolt Archive

-Global Transmission to Earth-

"God, you apesh are a bunch of pusshies!"

A Mekantan female staggers onto a platform normally used for giving announcements, looking unsteadily into the camera drone.

"Yesh, you @$#%ersh heard me! You're all a bunch of pusshies..."

"'Oh noesh! We're are going to get nukesh up our asshes!' You people shuck!"

"You know I'm gonna do?" The young woman pulls at the garment she's wearing, giggling. "I'm gonna pissh on the flagsh of a bunch of nationsh! I'm-"

Without warning, a humanoid robot tackles her, the two of them flying out of the camera drone's view as another female walks into view.

"We appologize for the behavior of our aide. As little as we think of you apes, you don't deserve to have your flags pissed on. Thank you. Transmission End."


-Secret IC-

"... That ending wasn't good for relations with the apes, was it?"

"Nope." The AI replied, dragging the drunk Mekantan off. "I'll inform Lord Kuroi to expect hate mail from the primatives."

Hey, man! Er, woman!
We won't take that kind of crap! You big dummies are gonna get hit so hard it'll... uh, like, hurt! A LOT!


Signed,
His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik


*An aide presents the message from Westerney to Lord Kuroi.*
"Well. I suppose we've got some political trouble now," he says.
"Er, no, sir. Actually Westerney is in total anarchy. They've really got nothing to back it up with. I don't think Earth's UN even knows they exist."
"Ah. Well, I'll just ignore this then."
*He drops it into the paper shredder, and a moment afterwards a robot dumps the bits of paper into the gerbil cages.*

Premier Chlevenkov looks up at the large plasma screen mounted in his office... Suddenly, that little 'episode' occurs, causing him to burst out into laughter... As he's banging on his desk, an aide rushes in... "Sir?! What's the matter?"

Between laughs and choking noises, the Premier haphazardly responds... "That new..." He laughs... "Comedy on TV..." He proceeds to lay his head down... A few seconds later he brings it back up... Its bright red... "Enough of that... Yes... That new show..." He smiles... "Hilarious isn't it?"

The aide's face grows puzzled... "New comedy? On what channel?"

The Premier shrugged... "I don't know what it was called, but some drunk alien woman came on the screen and was apparantly making remarks about apes and other primates... Then some robot comes out and tackles her..." He demonstrates with his hands... "Yeah, then some woman came on and said something, I couldn't tell what it was, I was laughing too hard.. But then my satellite dish must've gotten hit with something, I lost the signal..."

The aide glances at the screen and the large green D-1 logo in the corner... "Uhh... Sir?" The Premier looks up... "That's our intercontinental diplomacy channel, for communication between nations..." The aide pulls out a PDA from his pocket... "Yeah... That transmission was from some nation... Named... Mekanta?"

The Premier coughs... Then laughs lightly... "Yeah... I think they need to learn how to make proper diplomatic exchanges... Also... They must have some serious military/national problems if they're forced to slander apes... Maybe they're some African country, being overrun by Bonobos... Or something." He pauses... Thinking... "Yeah, that robot was definately fake... You could see where the zipper was... Pathetic. And who acts like that when they're drunk?" He shakes his head some... "Some countries... A bunch of comedians..."


The aide somewhat nods... "Right..." And turns around, quickly leaving...

The Premier laughs... "Damn, I hope I caught that one on DVD..."

-OOC-
LoL, is your premier not that bright? Just wondering.

Kinda interesting, the IC responses this is getting. ^_^

OOC- Lol, no, not really... I just had to do that though.

"Well, although they seem to be robots, they have the right idea about Mon-Keigh!" Issilmesse Opal, the Dark Eldar Supreme Commandante of the 3rd fleet said.