NationStates Jolt Archive

Most Esteemed Members of the International Community,

I have been authorized by President-General José Maria de Muñoz y Marx of the Protectorate of Johannes de Porto Rico to solicit external contractors with expertise in the fields of Psychological Operations and Domestic Security. Our Commander in Chief feels that true moral and civic strength begins at home and in our communities, and we will therefore be implementing a program to educate our populace about the great work that he does for them. In addition, we intend to train our military and law enforcement personnel to detect and neutralize dissidents, insurgents and other threats to our national stability.

As a result of these initiatives, we are seeking individuals to fill the positions of Minister of Information and Minister of Internal Defense. The ideal candidate must have a desire to set policy through hands-on action, and seven to ten years experience in creating and administering national policy in corrupt and/or dictatorial governments. Candidates meeting these qualifications may submit a resume and portfolio of their work to:

Juan Carlos de León
c/o Departamento de Recursos Humanos
3576 Calle Nuestro Salvador Y Redentor
San Johannes, PJd Porto Rico 00794-3576

Those wishing to inquire about opportunities as contractors for our avalible instructional positions may telegraph our human resources department. Positions are availble for individuals as well as contracting companies. We offer excellent benefits including health and life insurance, performace bonuses, and an opportunity to participate in our growing Uranium Mining black market.

The Protectorate of Johannes de Porto Rico is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate against individuals due to race, age, gender, or sexual orientation.

We'd be willing to send a C.D. we manufactured for interregation purpose. It consists of bad 80's pop all mixed together into one song, the suspect cannot sustain itself when he hears it, he therefore breaks and tells us the truth. Also, we'd be willing to send advisors to teach stress positions. And when it comes to weapons we'd be willing to sell:

1,000 HK G36s
500 Colt .45s
700 MP5s

All of this total for the cheap price, and yes this is cheap damn it, for 2 Million Dollars. Do you accept?

The Commonwealth of Hirgizstan uses many different forms of Psychological warfare, from the High-tech Special Forces aircraft that broadcast radio-messages across public and military fequencies, to the ground operatives, trained in different levels of interrogation.

If you accept our offer we will put together a Task Force of instructors. They will be by no means permanent. We do not require a payment of any sort, nor do we require any hand in illegal mining, what we would require is an Embassy within your nation, where this Task Force woule be housed for the duration of their stay.

Your forces will be disciplined in the Art of Interrogation and will be taught how to utilise low-tech ways of broadcasting messages over enemy radio nets. Part of psychological warfare is also centered around Hearts and Minds, i.e. helping local people to sustain and improve their lives in return for their support, your forces will also be taught the particulars of this delicate science.

If you wish to enquire further please telegram me or reply.

-COH-

We'd be willing to send a C.D. we manufactured for interregation purpose. It consists of bad 80's pop all mixed together into one song, the suspect cannot sustain itself when he hears it, he therefore breaks and tells us the truth. Also, we'd be willing to send advisors to teach stress positions.

While members of our intelligence community find your use of sonics as a technique for interrogation and torture intriguing, Johannes de Porto Rico will sadly have to decline your offer. We regret to report that bad 80's pop would be too dangerous a weapon to allow within our borders, lest it fall into the hands of insurgents such as the Hairspray Liberation Army.

Juan Carlos de León
Minister of Foreign Affairs

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=348556

Rubberduckistans Landsknecht Military inc. stands ready to satisfy the needs of discreet customer.

Regards
P.P.Kaitsenkov
CEO, LMI inc.