NationStates Jolt Archive

The fleet is composed of five Vengance class superfortesses
the Truth
the Unstopable
the Bezerker
THE VENGANCE
and the DUTY
the escort forcess are 7000 liberator fast attack crusiers ten warspite class fast battle ships and 50 zeus class battle fortresses

this is the end game their is no way tou can over power this fleet

God enters Sephiroth's universe.

God looks upon Sephiroth's fleet.

God shakes His head.

God snaps His fingers and Sephiroth's entire fleet explodes into atomic particles.

God nods His head, happy with His work.

God exits Sephiroth's universe.

OOC:Sephiroth,why,may I ask,are you going to war against Praetonia?Or is this already pre-arranged,like a wargame?Given your current position,I don't think you are in a position to launch 5 85 KM ships at someone right now.

Sharina mate thats the best thing iv read all day. lol that was funny. Sephrioth mate you suck i mean comeone who really likes you................................................................................................. .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... .................................................................................................... ................................ oh yes i remember now NO ONE

The fleet is composed of five Vengance class superfortesses
the Truth
the Unstopable
the Bezerker
THE VENGANCE
and the DUTY
the escort forcess are 7000 liberator fast attack crusiers ten warspite class fast battle ships and 50 zeus class battle fortresses
i'm guessing thats your whole fleet, leaving your world or whatever open to an easy invasion. 7055 ships is alot, most people don't even get near half that.

OOC:Sephiroth,why,may I ask,are you going to war against Praetonia?Or is this already pre-arranged,like a wargame?Given your current position,I don't think you are in a position to launch 5 85 KM ships at someone right now. ic This is a pre arranged wargame to test my vengance class super fortresses
and illor this is not even my full fleet this is about a 1/4 of my first fleet.

That is not possible my friend. In the universe of Dune there where not that many ships and they control a million worlds. With a population of about 10000000 trillion I think that you might be a bit disdvataged. Sereouly, that is impossible.

This is a RP training lesson thigie for Sephrioth. If you want to help Seph learn to RP then stay, otherwise kindly leave this thread.

I'll use 300 Imperium Class Star Destroyers, 50 Superstar Destroyers and 20 Eclispe Star Destroyers with their full complement of fighters. (Im guessing this is an OK amount I dont play future tech, tell me if it's not.)

Too bad he doesn't have a fleet anymore...


Check this out (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=346567)
Readmy previous post and leave this thread. Thankyou.

ok the captin of the vengance says over the coms all ships assume attack postions the captin says launch 2 scram jets to harras the enemy fleet

OOC: Seph that's good, but you should use better punctuation (The captin of the vengance says over the coms, "All ships assume attack postions.") and spellcheck in MS word first (The captain of the Vengence says over the comms, "All ships assume attack postions")

IC: "Sir, the Sephrioth fleet is attacking. Their advanced scouts are being dealt with, only two fighters, but there will be more," said the Second in Command aboard the Praetonia flagship, the Imperium.

"Very good. Put the fleet to battlstations, prepare to return fire," replied the Captain.

All ove the fleet shields were raised and fighters were launched. The many turbolaser turrets aboard the Praetonian ships poured fire into the Sephrioth Scramjet, which, although small and maneouverable, could hardly avoid such weight of firepower.

the two single seat fighter weaved skillfully betwin the preation flak they fire thier mine hades laser at a Imperium Class Star Destroyer

The captain of THE VENGANCE watches in horror as the first scram jet is destroyed.
HE orders in a clear voice to fire the hades laser at the Imperium.
HE says i want that ship destroyed so use full power.

this is not even my full fleet this is about a 1/4 of my first fleet.

The other 3/4 are stored in his ass. :rolleyes:

OOC: That's a bit better with the captial letters, but always remember to use one at the beginning of a sentence and a full stop at the end.

IC: The Admiral watched from his bridge as the Scramjets rolled this way and that, desperate to avoid the mass of incoming fire. As the Praetonian guns let off for a moment, the Scramjets lined up and fired, but were forced to turn instantly. The shots glanced the side of the admirals ship and penetrated the shields at a localised point, ripping into the hull and destroying a marine barracks. However the damage little affected the huge ship as it brough bigger guns and fighters to bare.

Bravo Wing had launched just moments before from one of the star destroyers, twenty fighters closing on the Scramjets at full speed, spinning and twirrling to get a lock. One of the fighters lined up a Scramjet and fired, sending a burst of laser fire into the fighter.

OOC:Sephiroth,just something to help you a bit.When you write what someone is saying(IE: HE says i want that ship destroyed so use full power) then put quotation marks when he starts to say something,IE: HE says "I want that ship destroyed,so use full power!"

OOC:

I apologize. I was typing my post when you made yours. I will delete mine due to it being based on bad assumptions. I will keep a hopeful eye on this thread. If you need any assistance just ask.

The captain of THE VENGANCE watches in horror as the first scram jet is destroyed.
HE orders in a clear voice to fire the hades laser at the Imperium.
HE says i want that ship destroyed so use full power.
"Sir, the Vengence is powering up it's weapons."

"Order the fleet to lock on an open fire. Divert all power to forward shields."

The massive Praetonian Fleet turned to face the Vengence and fired in unison, thousands, millions of laser bolts, turbolaser bolts and each of the Eclipse Class Startdestroyers fired thier sub-superlasers into the massive Sephrioth construct.

The Vengence, however had already fired, sending a massive bolt of energy streaking through space towards the Imperium. The Imperium's shields held only for a non-second before buckling under the immense weight of energy which shot up the ship, vapourising the front section and hurling internal fireballs through the corridors of the aft section, killing most of the crew and sparking secondary explosions as explosives and missile bays ignited.

"All hands abandon ship. All hands abandon ship." Called out in the small sections of the Imperium where the internal communications were still operating as the crippled, torn in half ship began to veer dangerous to it's side.

ooc preationa i'd be more worried about the vengance it has fired its heaviest weapon the hades laser.
Ic sir shall i fire again the weapon offcier asks?
''No the captain says load one demon nuclear missile and then fire the missile at the Imperium. but sir the weapons offcier say we have only got twenty of those.
I dont care he yells fire the missile aye sir
the weapons offcier says as large nuclear missile screamed out of one of the starboard torpedo tubes. Missile away the weapons offcier says.

The vengance's shield just flashed under the attack. the captai get on the coms, All ships return fire with your hades lasers! now.
he gets off the coms device. Scan the wrecage for survivors and beam them to sick bay he orders aye sir the sienice offcier says.

The stricken Imperium veers further sideways as the Demon Nuclear Missile began it's pass of destruction towards it. The sensor office aboard the Listener stood up and said, "Sir I've picked up an old fasioned missile weapon heading for the Vengence. Moving to intercept."

The Listener began to move into the path of the missile with full shields, slowly at first but gathering speed, "Sir we are now directly in the path of the missile... redirecting all shield power to predicted impact zone."

The missile streaked towards the Listener and vapoursied as it touched the energy shields surrounding the Listener. Meanwhiler the entire fleet had been firing at the Vengence for some time.

OOC: Please post damage on the Vengence. Always remember spelling and punctuation. Make your post look good.

Try enclosing each character's sentence in their own quotation marks.

I'll show you what I mean:

ooc preationa i'd be more worried about the vengance it has fired its heaviest weapon the hades laser.

Ic:
"Sir shall i fire again?" the weapon offcier asks.

''No," the captain says, "Load one demon nuclear missile and then fire the missile at the Imperium."

"But sir!" The weapons offcier say "We have only got twenty of those!"

"I dont care," he yells, "Fire the missile!"

"Aye sir!" the weapons offcier says as large nuclear missile screamed out of one of the starboard torpedo tubes.

"Missile away," the weapons offcier says.

By seperating each thought into their own group, it conveys the actions and dialog better.

You have been doing a good job so far.

damn the captain barks gimme a damage report he orders the crew
we have a major hull breach on deck 11 the smart armour has begun to seal the breach.
In total major damage to deck 11.
The seprioth fleet fires their hades laser ath the rest of the Praetonian fleet leave nothing their but a pile of scrap he orders.

OOC: You do realise that I fired 50 miniture superlasers from the eclipse star destroyers. I fail to believe that that, along with the massive amount of regular laser firepower caused "minor damage on deck 11 which is now entirely fixed" can you please re-do that.

The whole fleet fires their hades lasers at the same time the 7055 beams merge into one huge beam.
The captain gets on the coms ''to all seprioth vesels get ready to go transwarp this was a hit and run mission''.

''Aye'' the other ships comanders said ''good'' he replied.

OOC:

You can also place blank lines to seperate actions.

It makes it easier to read.

OOC: You do realise that I fired 50 miniture superlasers from the eclipse star destroyers. I fail to believe that that, along with the massive amount of regular laser firepower caused "minor damage on deck 11 which is now entirely fixed" can you please re-do that.

Please read that. You have to be realistic with your losses. Im not saying lose the Venegence Im just saying a little more damage is in order.

ooc read my post a never mind
Ic we have a major hull breach on deck 11 the smart armour has begun to seal the breach.
In total major damage to deck 11.

ic Now te captian orders go to transwarp now. The seprioth fleet disapears in a transwarp field.

OOC: Huh? In all that time I never made an IC statement.

Ok, this is important for future RPs, if someone has an OOC problem, you halt the RP, deal with that and then continue the RP. Can you do that next time please?

IC: "Sir the entire Sephrioth Fleet has disappeared."

"Casualties?"

"Most of the ship has been destroyed or damaged, only this secure bridge section is relatively unscathed. No damage to other ships."

"Good, set a course for Sephrioth's home planet, hopefully we can lure them out."

OOC:

I'm glad to see that Sephiroth is improving with his grammar. At least that's a step in the right direction.

The fleet land on sepherus repair teams rushed over to the vengance an started to fix the damage. captian panik the captian of The vengance says to the repair teams ''T want the vengance repaired right away.
Yes sir says one of the repair teams.

Glasgae, seeing this as a chance to test some new weapons of his own, sends 2 squadrons of B-13 and and an escort of 4 squadrons of of S-37c to sephiroth.

The repairs were made. Captain panik was in a space bar drinking sephrioth's ,ost potent drink the attomic blaster. ooc acording to the health warning on the bottle you will be drunk for a month

Btter get moving fast Sephiroth, the bombers are allmost over your nation. Also, seeing as I am not part of the UN, I have loaded 1 squadron of B-13 with my lastest biological bombs. :gundge:

ooc glassee this is a future tech rumble.
ic glasse ignored

im a space nation home system not one fricken nation and besides i ignored you

The whole fleet fires their hades lasers at the same time the 7055 beams merge into one huge beam.
The captain gets on the coms ''to all seprioth vesels get ready to go transwarp this was a hit and run mission''.

''Aye'' the other ships comanders said ''good'' he replied.
OCC: Get your tech right. Your going to overshoot his fleet by about 30 light years if you use Transwarp.

OCC: Get your tech right. Your going to overshoot his fleet by about 30 light years if you use Transwarp.


Actually, if you re-read the post you will find these events:


He fired all his lasers and the beams merged into one.
The Captain ordered all ships to get ready to go transwarp.
The other captains answered back.


There was three distinct actions nested within three sentences. If you go back to the first post of the Thread, you will see he has improved.

Also, he clearly fired before giving the order to go to transwarp. The other ships answered back. This indicated the passage of time.

Also, he ended the post without stating he went to transwarp so it must be assumed the end of the post signified the engagement of his engines.


This is a good start. Let's see some more.

The whole fleet was repaired and refeuled and armed with a new weapon called the Hercules laser. It's time to kick some preationain ass captian panik roars over the coms. the whole fleet takes off.
The vengance in the lead