NationStates Jolt Archive

Hello.

This is a long story, really, but I'll make it short.
We are the Nomadic Peoples Of Westerney. Our country is very wet and muddy. It rains, like, every freakin' day! We have adapted to this lifestyle superbly. Our mud and clay artisans are unrivaled. We are happy. Except for that, um... we don't get much food. We eat mostly whatever we can catch in the water, and right quick, too! I swear, this one time my brother Grebll hooked a boot-ah, anyway. Lately our mudologists and grass farmers have been working on genetically altering a potato for life in the mud. We've poked 'em with sharps sticks and filled them with mud, but when we plant the suckers they just sorta rot.

So we're asking you for help, world. But another problem arises. It turns out the world has kinda moved on without us, and we're kinda still in the Dark Ages, or Medieval ages or whatever. Castles and pikes and stuff, only without castles. So we have no idea WHERE we are. We can barely communicate. We've got this telegram thinger and we sorta stick messages in bottles and wish for luck. So if you can, please send us some ideas on getting food to grow in mud. We'd appreciate it. Like, a heck of a lot.


His Highness Of The Mud,
Groob Lermik

So... you want food?

[OOC: check this out for more info on the Republic of Leperflesh: http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=347762]

From: Henglagl Blargh, Jr. Secretary of the Office of International Trade, the Republic of Leperflesh Department of the Exterior, the Republic of Leperflesh

To: His Highness of the Mud, Groob Lermik, of Westerney
In the hopes that this hand-scribed message has arrived safely via International Vulture Delivery;

Esteemed Highness,

The Republic of Leperflesh wishes to inform you of our interest in the importation of quantities of your mud products. Our modest nation has quite rocky, barren lands mostly devoid of soil. As non-living persons, we don't need to grow food, but we have enjoyed some success with our beef industry (we use the animals for spare body parts to repair our more elderly and accident-prone citizens). Leperflesh is prepared to engage in trade negotiations with you for the exchange of live cattle for quantites of high-quality mud products.

The Republic of Leperflesh has a modest port and a few sailing vessels (we find our undead citizens make pretty good sailors, since they float and can't drown and work tirelessly and have no need for food or rest). Although we know little of Westerney, we hope that you have some sort of port or navigable river which would enable our shipping merchants to make delivery of livestock and take delivery of mud products.

Our national currency, the Arcade Token, is not currently traded on international markets, but we are willing to purchase quantities of mud products in cash should you find yourselves disposed to accepting Leperfleshian Arcade Tokens as legal tender.

The Office of International Trade eagerly awaits your reply: simply attach a reply inscribed upon some light, flat, rolled-up material to our delivery-vulture and it will faithfully return with your message.

Cordially,

Henglagl Blargh

We are willing to supply you with domesticated farm animals and help you to build hydrophonic farms above the mud. We are willing to do this relativily free, if you have some natural resources you would like to give us in exchange.

*The leader of Westerney watches the vulture glide into his office, vaguely amused by the new sight.*

"Ooh look, a bird!"

*He sees the note and reads it, then writes his reply.*


In reply to one Mr. Country Of Leperflesh:

Wow! That sounds super-nifty. We'd love to check out your pretty shiney money and all those big rocks you've got. And the mud trades would be fantastic for our (nigh-upon non-existant) economy.

But, eh, how do we find each other? Do you think your big birdy here could remember how he got to us? Try having him lead you back, you can give us the location of your country once you get here. We'd like some of those boats, too! Currently we use mud rafts, which are only good for a few seconds before they get diluted...

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik



*He then reads the Torsg note.*

Dear Mr. Torsg Leader:

Machinies scare us lots. On top of that, our only valuable resource is mud, which we like a whole lot and are possibly trading with Leperflesh. Have you seen their big bird thing? It's quite silly.

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik

From: Henglagl Blargh, Jr. Secretary of the Office of International Trade, the Republic of Leperflesh Department of the Exterior, the Republic of Leperflesh

To: His Highness of the Mud, Groob Lermik, of Westerney

Your Highness,

The Office of International Trade is most pleased by your nation's willingness to engage in trade with us. As a preliminary gesture, we would like to offer a small delivery of 30 high-quality steers for your evaluation. In exchange, we wish to recieve samples of a range of your quality mud and mud-based products. In this way we can perhaps negotiate a fair and equitable exchange of goods.

Should our steers not prove to be satisfactory for your food needs, Leperflesh is still willing to make purchases of mud products (provided they meet our standards) for hard currency. At this time we wish to again caution your fine nation that our Arcade Tokens are, thus far, only Redeemable within the Republic of Leperflesh, as they are not yet recognized on international currency markets.

The exact value to be placed on your mud and/or mud-based products, in either cattle or beef-based products, or in Arcade Tokens, will be up to our private merchants to negotiate. the Leperflesh Office of International Trade is mandated to "...open new lines of trade with foriegn markets..." but does not engage in high-volume or ongoing transactions.

As for locating your fine nation of Westerney, we must confess that in order to deliver our last message we had to of course locate your nation first. Our delivery-vulture was dispached from a ship situated in international waters as close to Westerney as feasible.

I have forwarded a transcript of our negotiations thus far to Flachblech Urrgh, Junior Secretary of the Republic of Leperflesh Diplomatic Agency, Department of the Exterior. Although I cannot speak on his behalf, I fully expect that you shall shortly recieve an invitation to send a diplomatic mission to the Republic of Leperflesh. This would provide your nation with an opportunity to learn more about us and our people, as well as gaining a firsthand experience of the exact distances involved between our nations.

As a courtesy, please find attached to this message a map which shows the location of the Republic of Leperflesh within the North Pacific region, as well as an indicator of your own nation's location. We apologize for the map's crude nature but it was the best we could come up with on short notice.

One further issue remains in order for our negotiations to proceed, however: the Republic of Leperflesh needs to know what sort of port facilities are available. We have cargo ships which can dock at any harbor having a minimum draft of at least 18 feet. Alternatively we can anchor offshore and make deliveries using flat-bottomed landing-craft, although this method is much less efficient. We remain unsure of your nation's access to navigable waterways or coastline and would greatly appreciate any guidance you can provide.

Finally we wish to helpfully remind the people of Westerny that almost all citizens of the Republic of Leperflesh are living-challenged, e.g. "zombies" or undead persons. We hope your people will not be alarmed by our appearance or unorthodox cultural habits.

With respect and admiration,

Henglagl Blargh

Dear Henglagl Blargh, Jr. Secretary of the Office of International Trade, the Republic of Leperflesh Department of the Exterior, the Republic of Leperflesh (boy your government is complex. We just have Ted's cousin Flernp look around for people who wanna talk to us.)

We (the people) have a dream. Hold on I'm getting confused.

We, The Nomadic Peoples Of Westerney, have sent you two telemagraph discussing most (if not all) of these issues. Please take the time to respond to it in a simmilar fashion, as opposed to this public telegraphone.

While Westerney and Leperflesh will continue discussions in private, suggestions on the whole eating thing from other countries would still be really super great (and yes, we've tried tearing our stomachs out AND closing our mouths, neither worked).

Signed,
His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik

10 C-17s take off towards Westerny, containing food, weapons, blueprints on how to build things, pornography, and all that is needed for a basic civilization.... they drone on by... just going...

OOC: I don't feel RPlike...

An ARSAF H-8 stealth bomber flies overhead, paradropping limited food supplies and a message (contained in a bottle) to its leader(s):

"The Armed Republic of Sino is willing to supply the backward and under-civilized state of Westerney, provided that Sino gains access to some of its minerals."

OOC: If it rains that freakin' much, try growing food by greenhouses or have the plants sheltered from the excess rain!

An ARSAF H-8 stealth bomber flies overhead...


((A Stealth Bomber? Really - what are they going to do, throw mud pies at you?))

A Special Penguin with a message stored underneath it's waterproof fur slipped into the water. A few hours later it was a few hours away from being a few hours closer yet to the now few hours away Westerney.

It eventul arrives, and jumps around squaking and biting fingers till someone reads the message.

"Dear Sir Groob Lermik,

I hope this message reaches you well. Here it is raining, a sight which now doubt you would be familar (seen/experinced) before) with.

My Emperor (Ruler) would like me to convey (tell) his plans to help your country (place of mud). He has outlined (put into points) and commanded me (told me) to write (put pen to paper; mud to bark) them for you (not me).

1 - A Special (good) type of Fungi that likes living in mud, and can be eaten by humans (you and I) will be provided (gifted) by a fleet (lot's of) penguins (water birds) in little bottles (cooked sand containers) around their necks (food and air pipes). Once they arrive (get there) please just open the bottles and spread the green spores (greeny bits) everywhere (lots of wheres). Within 2 days (day-night-day-night) and a bit (-day) you can start to eat the green fungi. It is very good for you, and even tastes somewhat (a little bit) nice!

2 - A team of doctors (make better men and women) will come and cure (rid of sickness) your citzens (fellow mud dwellers). They will come in a ship of the sky - don't worry, it will be alright.

3 - We shall start building raised buildings (buildings high above the mud) in order to provide (give) your mud-brothers with a place to live in.

4 - Schools (houses of teaching) will open and teach your children things about farming, hygeine (keeping clean), reading (eyes on words), writting (making words), singing (voices out loud), dancing (waving limbs), etc (and more stuff).

5 - We will continue (keep going) to provide you with help as you need it.

I hope you agree to this message. If so please press the red button (red circle) on the Penguins (water bird) collar (thing around the neck).

See you soon (see you before not too long)

Minister of Happy,
Mallen Cormic"

*briefly considers sending a shipment of cement*

((A Stealth Bomber? Really - what are they going to do, throw mud pies at you?))

OOC: I see such a delievery method as neccesary and convenient.

To Henglalg Blargh:

Have you gotten our telegrammaparcel?

Groob
---
To The Island Of Rose:

Erm, no thank you. We don't need all that, we're happy with our country. Food is all really.

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik
---
To Sino:

Thankee kindly for the eatin's, pardner. If you continue to supply us with food, you may build ONE (1) ore mining and/or mud gathering facility on our East coast. Any more than this and we will have to graciously decline your offer.

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik
---
To The Minister Of Happy, Mallen Cormic:

Hmm... this is a long one.
"Dear Sir Groob Lermik,

I hope this message reaches you well. Here it is raining, a sight which now doubt you would be familar (seen/experinced) before) with.

My Emperor (Ruler) would like me to convey (tell) his plans to help your country (place of mud). He has outlined (put into points) and commanded me (told me) to write (put pen to paper; mud to bark) them for you (not me).

1 - A Special (good) type of Fungi that likes living in mud, and can be eaten by humans (you and I) will be provided (gifted) by a fleet (lot's of) penguins (water birds) in little bottles (cooked sand containers) around their necks (food and air pipes). Once they arrive (get there) please just open the bottles and spread the green spores (greeny bits) everywhere (lots of wheres). Within 2 days (day-night-day-night) and a bit (-day) you can start to eat the green fungi. It is very good for you, and even tastes somewhat (a little bit) nice!
Ooh, that sounds fantastic! Please let us offer some mud and mud products in return.

2 - A team of doctors (make better men and women) will come and cure (rid of sickness) your citzens (fellow mud dwellers). They will come in a ship of the sky - don't worry, it will be alright.
Fancy.

3 - We shall start building raised buildings (buildings high above the mud) in order to provide (give) your mud-brothers with a place to live in.
Ooh, no no no. No thanks, pal. We have some mud mounds and holes, we're happy how we are. Thanks for thinking of us, though-we have trouble doing it ourselves sometimes.

4 - Schools (houses of teaching) will open and teach your children things about farming, hygeine (keeping clean), reading (eyes on words), writting (making words), singing (voices out loud), dancing (waving limbs), etc (and more stuff).
As stated, we're happy at present. I like the "voices out loud" idea though, but Bobby already invented yelling at random passerby last week.

5 - We will continue (keep going) to provide you with help as you need it.

I hope you agree to this message. If so please press the red button (red circle) on the Penguins (water bird) collar (thing around the neck).

See you soon (see you before not too long)

Minister of Happy,
Mallen Cormic"
As you can see, we agree to some parts and not to others. Of that message I mean. We feel your "Water Cooler" is a very simmilar country to our own, and we hope to continue trade with you in the future.

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik
---
To Vastiva:

Hey, that sounds fun! What is it?

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik
---
To All:

Thank you, all, for coming to our aid in this time of troubles.
Now that we have received food (and possibly continue to recieve food) from the water cooler, and hope to receive food from Leperflesh, we should be fine. Again, thank you. Now buzz off, I gotta go play Whack The Mud Lots.

Signed,
His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik

As soon as the Rosian pilots got message, their plane crashed because of some bizzare reason. The pilots died in the crash, leaving all their cargo in Westerney...

Ooh, that sounds fantastic! Please let us offer some mud and mud products in return.


Oh thank you! Our women (mothers) enjoy bathing in mud, they say it helps their skin (organ shields) keep soft.

Fancy.


No money shall be spared in helping you.

Ooh, no no no. No thanks, pal. We have some mud mounds and holes, we're happy how we are. Thanks for thinking of us, though-we have trouble doing it ourselves sometimes.

But high homes let you keep dry, clean, and such. Plus you can have nice mud free things! Mmm, Mud free things.

As stated, we're happy at present. I like the "voices out loud" idea though, but Bobby already invented yelling at random passerby last week.

A Choir will be sent with the Doctors to help your people learn how to sing and whatnot.


As you can see, we agree to some parts and not to others. Of that message I mean. We feel your "Water Cooler" is a very simmilar country to our own, and we hope to continue trade with you in the future.

We hope that will be so, if you need anything else please let us know.

---
To Sino:

Thankee kindly for the eatin's, pardner. If you continue to supply us with food, you may build ONE (1) ore mining and/or mud gathering facility on our East coast. Any more than this and we will have to graciously decline your offer.

What sort of ore does Westerney have on offer in the East Coast?

To The Island Of Rose:

It appears your big shiney birdeys all fell out of the sky and exploded. My err... elite... uuh... investigators (guys with fancy hats and rock-tipped sticks for poking) are investigating.

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik
---
To Mallen Cormic:

We really don't like mud-free things very much. "We like mud a whole lot" is our country's motto. Buildings we can do without.

And no doctors! EEeeeeeeeEEEvil witches, they are. With their pokey needles and shiney things... bad, EEEEvvviiiiil witches.

Groob
---
To Sino:

Don't know! My cousin Derlg said his friend Moplef once dug, like, a three-foot hole and found a shiney white rock. But he accidentally cut himself with it, the dope, and tossed it away.

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik

To The Island Of Rose:

It appears your big shiney birdeys all fell out of the sky and exploded. My err... elite... uuh... investigators (guys with fancy hats and rock-tipped sticks for poking) are investigating.

His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik


Official Statement from the Island of Rose:

Can you return the bodies?
-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Rosta Einvach

Dear Rosta Einvach

Bodies? The bodies of the birds? Do the birds have people in them? Hold on a sec-my investigators are back. I'll attach their report to this letter.


His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik



OFISHAL REEPORT UV WESTERNEE
Contents of shiney bird:

Bits of shiney bird
Lots of bits of shiney bird
Some food
Some burnt food
Some burnt limbs
Some burnt blue paper
Some shiney weird things (see diagram)
(attached is a crude drawing of a slightly mangled assualt rifle)

Dear Rosta Einvach

Bodies? The bodies of the birds? Do the birds have people in them? Hold on a sec-my investigators are back. I'll attach their report to this letter.


His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik



OFISHAL REEPORT UV WESTERNEE
Contents of shiney bird:

Bits of shiney bird
Lots of bits of shiney bird
Some food
Some burnt food
Some burnt limbs
Some burnt blue paper
Some shiney weird things (see diagram)
(attached is a crude drawing of a slightly mangled assualt rifle)

Official Statement from the Island of Rose:

Yes that seems to be it, I want the people... or what's left of them. You can keep the rest, is there a way you can send them that doesn't involve rafting towards our Island?
-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Rosta Einvach

Dear Rosta Einvach:

Nope.


Signed,
His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik

Dear Rosta Einvach:

Nope.


Signed,
His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik

Official Statement from the Island of Rose:

Then you don't mind if I send a Carrier towards your land to pick up the bodies? Maybe leave some teachers and military advisors too.
-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Rosta Einvach

*sends ten C-71s full of powdered instant concrete. When over a suitably uninhabited region... well, have you seen what cropdusters do?*

Dear Mr. Whatsit Rose Guy

Sounds... OK, I guess. Carrier... well, whatever.

Do those military advisor chaps have any gum, maybe? We heard about it on this radio thing we got off the shiney bird. We tried mud but it's not rubberey like this gum stuff is supposed to be.


Signed,
His Highness Of The Tired Of Writing This Title, Groob Lermik
---
Dear Vastiva

Wonderful! We await the arrival of this "concrete" with great anticipation.


Signed,
His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik

Dear Mr. Whatsit Rose Guy:

Sounds... OK, I guess. Carrier... well, whatever.

Do those military advisor chaps have any gum, maybe? We heard about it on this radio thing we got off the shiney bird. We tried mud but it's not rubberey like this gum stuff is supposed to be.


Signed,
His Highness Of The Tired Of Writing This Title, Groob Lermik

The CRS Tolado, a Nimitz Class Carrier set off for Westerney, it contained:

40 RF-1s (F-18)
20 RB-1s (F-15E)
2 E2-C Hawkeyes
5 EA-6s
8 RCH-1s (Chinook)
5 RCP-1s (C-17)
5 P-7s

Plus military advisors, teachers, and Rosian workers set out to modernize the primitive nation.

-Three Hours Later-

The CRS Tolado arrived, the 8 RCH-1s set out for Westerney, looking for the bodies, if they could find them...

Official Statement from the Island of Rose:

If you find anything flying around with a Rose on it, call it with the radio.
-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Rosta Einvach

OOC Didn't talk, just did. So welcome your new concrete island in the mud.

Dear Vastiva

THIS CONCRETE STUFF IS NOT FUN!
It's all over the place and it's hard! It HURTS! Like, a whole lot!

Groob

*The panicing Westernese call in the Rosian aircraft on the radio, and they land on a long strip of new concrete*
"HEY! ROSE GUYS! HELP!"
*The Rosians assist in the removal of the concrete, which is relatively easy except for the wooded areas. Eventually all the concrete is piled up in a heap off the coast. It becomes something of an oddity, and kids always steal chunks of the stuff and toss it around. Generally people forget about it.*
---
Dear Rosians

Thanks a ton for all this stuff! And for getting rid of that concrete.


Groob
*The Westernese wave goodbye as the Rose Islanders leave with their burnt limbs, then proceed to "investigate" the aricraft. Most get ruined pretty quickly-especially the Hornets, which all explode when the Westernese whack their ammunition-and a second pile of junk has to be built. The Rosians who stayed behind manage to save three F-15E's, a C-17, most of the Sidewinders, and assorted bombs and ASM's. The Westernese build a few crude SAM sites with no targeting computers. After a week in Westerney the Rosian military advisors, workers, and teachers go insane and are assimilated into the Westerney culture.*


OOC: I hate F/A-18's, because I love F-14's, and the US is going to replace them with hornets...

OOC: I only sent my Chinooks to the mainland, the rest is in the Carrier, plus can we RP this properly, don't RP the actions of my characters... it's illegal, don't ask me why.

The Kedcredian Government sympathizes with the people of Westerney. We are looking to export some of our tougher criminals. Westerney would be able to do with these convicts what it wishes; put them to work or possibly turn them into a cheap food source. Kedcre has around 1,500 convicts available for export to Westerney. We are glad to be able to help Westerney with its crisis.

*ponders the use of thermite and fuel-air explosives in order to hard-bake the surface of the country into pottery....*

*ponders the use of thermite and fuel-air explosives in order to hard-bake the surface of the country into pottery....*

No bad Vastiva!

*smacks Vastiva*

OOC:
OOC: I only sent my Chinooks to the mainland, the rest is in the Carrier, plus can we RP this properly, don't RP the actions of my characters... it's illegal, don't ask me why.
0_o
Ooooooooooookaaay... uuh, I wouldn't have RPed your characters that miniscule amout if you had been more specific... not to pick a fight or anything. Just... left a lot to the imagination. This thread IS kind of pointless now anyway. I'm new here; are threads as odd/useless as this one has become common?

IC:

Dear Kedcre

Hey... that sounds to me like you're just trying to take advantage of us...

But convicts, you say? Hmm... this sap think's HE'S going to beneift... heh heh heh... OK, deal. Loser!


Signed Groob

Westerney also thanks you all for coming to our aid. No further food is neccesary.

OOC: Meh, we can leave it that we gave you food and stuff, and actually your thread is very original, keep it up, but read the stickies... CAREFULLY

OOC:
but read the stickies... CAREFULLY
:eek:
*Pulls out fancy jeweler's eyeglass thing and reads stickies*
As far as I can tell I havent broken any rules, but I've only been on one message board before this... they were... rigid... it's hard to feel loose here.

IC:

Dear Whomever Reads This

The food situation in Westerney has been solved. We now have around three or four suppliers. Thank you. However, we are now in need of weapons. Leperflesh, one of the countries we are working on trading with, has shown us the location of our little mud island. We are apparently off the East coast of Newfoundland, somewhere around St. John's, I think. For as long as we can remember we have been at war with the vile country Eastonia. However, recently we forgot where they were. With Leperflesh's map, we have located them once again. They appear to be somewhere in Portugal.

At present, our forces look something like this.
---
1st Rock Hurling Infantry Division
3 men
---
43rd Airborne Infantry Division
Blindeg's pet parrot
---
57th Javelineer Infantry Division
13 men
---
93rd Pikemen Infantry Division
12 men
---
94th Elite Pikemen Infantry Division
10 men
---
32nd Pester Infantry Division
20 little kids
---
76th Support Division
An old busted little cow-driven carraige
Ned's little red wagon
Food
---
54th Armor Division
Ted's little red wagon with concrete on the front and a little catapault in it
---
8th Artillery Division
Two catapaults

A grand total of 58 foot troops, I think, a parrot, and four vehicles. We're not ready for war yet. Is anyone willing to sell military supplies? We have:

Loads of concrete
Mud everywhere
A bit 'o timber

We MIGHT also have diamonds. Turns out that's what the shiney rocks were. The reason I say might is the country Sino currently has dibs on the only mining facility we're going to allow in Westerney. So we may grab a few ourselves and offer them for trade.

Official Statement from the Island of Rose:

We will give you the following production rights for free for these weapons of war:

HK G36 Assualt Rifle
M60 Portable Machine Gun
T-90 MBT
BMP-3 Troop Transport
M2 Grenade
RF-1 (F-18)
RB-1 (F-15E)
RCH-1 (Chinook)
RCP-1 (C-17)
Colt .45 Pistol
Nimitz Class Carrier
Rose Class Escort Ship
Los Angeles Class Submarine

This wil help make basic armed forces, but if you want more I suggest storefronts. We will also provide the means in which to produce them, do you accept?
-Minister of Commerce: Nikolai Geoff

OOC: Lol, I'm sorry but I feel like invading you =P

OOC:
OOC: Lol, I'm sorry but I feel like invading you =P
o_o
No! Nooooooo! Badbad! Shoo!

IC:

Dear Rose de Nose (I love that book)

Eeh... how precisely do those thingers work?

How about just spears or longswords? I saw a claymore once, those are nice...

Groob

OOC: I don't see any medieval storefronts... they're all selling either Death Stars and Tie Fighters or G36's and humvees...

OOC:

o_o
No! Nooooooo! Badbad! Shoo!

IC:

Dear Rose de Nose (I love that book)

Eeh... how precisely do those thingers work?

How about just spears or longswords? I saw a claymore once, those are nice...

Groob

OOC: I don't see any medieval storefronts... they're all selling either Death Stars and Tie Fighters or G36's and humvees...

OOC: That's for a reason, nobody RPs swords that much..

Official Statement from the Island of Rose:

Just follow the instructions that come with it! And no you can't have swords because there are bad nations that have many flying birds, and these flying birds drop a thing called a bomb, which causes many fires and destruction, so follow the instructions!

-Minister of Foreign Affairs: Rosta Einvach

The Republic of Leperflesh belatedly acknowledges reciept and response to the vulturegrams from Westerney. Observers note several three-masted wooden ships arrive off the coast and drop anchor. About a hundred head of cattle are loaded onto flat-bottomed dingheys and rowed to shore. The sailors appear to be gaunt, grey-skinned folks who move rather slowly and deliberately and don't have much in the way of facial expressiveness.

Westerney thanks Leperflesh for the food. They're very large little thingies, aren't they?

Alright, alright, Rosians! We'll read the instructions and practice with them.

Our army now includes:

123rd Fancy Gun Infantry Division
3 guys with G36
5 guys with Colt .45

124th Fancy Guns That Are Bigger Division
2 guys with M60
1 guy with Colt .45

We're working on the submarine too... it's been pretty fun so far, but I think we may have goofed up on some parts. Oh well, only way to learn is through failure right? I think I'll go see how construction is going and smash a beer bottle on it. Wee!


Groob L.

Official Statement from the Island of Rose:

I think you should put consrciption so you could have more people, as in force them to be in the army.
-Minister of War: General Alexander Roska

OOC: Man your people are nuttier then mine!