NationStates Jolt Archive


Weapon Testing on Seph

Kryozerkia
08-08-2004, 22:31
For those of you who wish to godmod, I would like to make this offer...

Say hello to the Uber-matic Supertastic Plasma Supersonic Laser-stun Mini-nuke Projectile Gun, now in a handheld model! These handhelds are limited edition, and if you want one for your very own, contact Kryozerkia today and they will supply you with this lovely toy! It also comes in a war-edition size, for all your enemy-blasting needs! The war-edition is not limited edition. It's versitile and easy to use!

It has three key features, the laser feature, the plasma feature and the all-purpose mini-nuke feature! They are all loadable and all come in three handy cartridges, which you can buy from us! Or, from other retail outlets, but, if you want our exclusive proprietary three-in-one carttridge, you just place a special order when you place your order for these!

It looks heavy, which it is, but thanks to progressions in Kryozerkian technology, we now have a helium feature, which makes you feel like you're operating this in an anti-gravity environment!

Now, I shall provide a demontration! Seph was kind of enough to be an asshole, so, I'll provide it on him!

*pushes the blue trigger button and Seph gets plasmified*

Notice how the person is now covered in a very thick and annoying layer of sticky glowing plasma. If they don't get it off in ten seconds, they will begin to enter a stage of anguishing pain. They don't die, but, instead spend the rest of their life encased in this.

Now, if you use the laser-stun feature, it acts like a stun gun, onlyw ith much better results! THe person is hit with a laser beam, and immediately starts convulsing. After this phase, they they continue to twitch and writhe. Once again, they don't die, instead they spend the rest of their lives like this.

Now, if you become sympathetic and decide that you don't want to witness this suffering, just press the red button, and BAM! You end it, with help from the mini-nuke feature! Remember, use it sparingly because otherwise you won't be able to witness such asshole as Seph being able to suffer for all eternity!

Now, then, we were recently asked about reversing the damage so that the person initiating the torture can continue to make Seph suffer, but not have to deal with all those accumulative layers of goo. We have another featuer we'd like to introduce!

Our scientists just released it, and it's been untested, but, it should work, if not, at least only your target is the victom of horrible mutantion!

Say hello to the Reversal Cartridge of Goo-removal! This loads in the same slot as the three-in-one and can be loaded at the same time!

Just remember to press the three fire buttons at once and then continue to work with a clear target!
Layarteb
08-08-2004, 22:32
Oh pretty please can we pull the trigger just once?

:: Acts like little boy trying to grab a big lollipop from the high up shelf ::
Kryozerkia
08-08-2004, 22:35
Oh pretty please can we pull the trigger just once?
*gives you a freebie* by all means! You can if you think you can!
Layarteb
08-08-2004, 22:37
The little boy climbs into the seat for the trigger and sights the weapon. Seph is covered in goo and trying to get out, writhing in agonizing pain. With a laugh and a squeeze of both hands, the little boy pulls the trigger. Seconds later, Seph is doused in another dose of this goo and writhing even more in pain. Due to excitement, the little boy wets himself and has to see mommy for a new change of clothes.

:: LOL ::
Slimestoria
08-08-2004, 22:37
*Grabs one and fires it at Seph's nation*

Wow, it really does work!
Jangle Jangle Ridge
08-08-2004, 22:38
I think we should tear off his limbs, cauterize and clean the wounds, then beat him with the limbs.
The Island of Rose
08-08-2004, 22:39
Lmao!!1111shiftone!!!111111111
Layarteb
08-08-2004, 22:40
We need a weapon that will clean off all the goo so we can fire fresh stuff on. TORTURE is fun!
Slimestoria
08-08-2004, 22:40
I think we should tear off his limbs, cauterize and clean the rooms, then beat him with the limbs.

You mean clean the wounds, yes?
Jangle Jangle Ridge
08-08-2004, 22:40
You mean clean the wounds, yes?
EDITED!
Kryozerkia
08-08-2004, 22:42
We need a weapon that will clean off all the goo so we can fire fresh stuff on. TORTURE is fun!
Then you might want to consider loading the reversal cartridge!

It has yet to be tested! But, like all our weapons, if it backfires, it never hurts you, just the person you're testing it on!

Now, when you load it, it's loaded in the same slot as the three-in-one cell cartridge. To use it, press all three buttons at once while aiming at your target, who in this case is Seph!
Layarteb
08-08-2004, 22:44
The little boy returns with fresh undies. "Reversal charge? GIMME GIMME GIMME!"
The Island of Rose
08-08-2004, 22:45
We need a weapon that will clean off all the goo so we can fire fresh stuff on. TORTURE is fun!

I'd torture too but the liberal Parliament don't let me :headbang:
Layarteb
08-08-2004, 22:48
I'd torture too but the liberal Parliament don't let me :headbang:

That's why my Empire, ruled by the Emperor, has no Parliament. The Emperor answers to, wait I have the name here somewhere, :: shuffles through papers and makes a mess ::, here it is. No-One. Pretty cool guy that No-One is ;).
Jangle Jangle Ridge
08-08-2004, 22:50
*pulls out a chainsaw, sterilizes it in rubbing alcohol, and heats it over a furnace* Gimme a second here...
Kryozerkia
08-08-2004, 22:51
The little boy returns with fresh undies. "Reversal charge? GIMME GIMME GIMME!"
Aw, aren't you just as cute as a button!

*gives him a Reversal Cartridge of Goo-removal*
Layarteb
08-08-2004, 22:53
Aw, aren't you just as cute as a button!

*gives him a Reversal Cartridge of Goo-removal*

The little boy, drooling with pleasure, loads the cartridge and resights in Seph, who is now wetting himself out of pain (like they do in Postal 2 when you electrocut them). With more laughter, the little boy fires again and Seph sits up, cured of the goo and of the pain. But all is not over yet. The little boy returns to his place in line and watches the next person fire a goo cartridge at Seph, the person then after putting in the reversal charge, and so on and so fourth. Perpetual motion sets in!
Kryozerkia
08-08-2004, 22:58
Lieutenant-General Quisentia, who issued the guns and cartridges, sits by, ready to give out more cartridges and guns as other nations roll in and the current nations run out of ammo.
Layarteb
08-08-2004, 23:03
Lieutenant-General Quisentia, who issued the guns and cartridges, sits by, ready to give out more cartridges and guns as other nations roll in and the current nations run out of ammo.

The little boy ran to his mommy. "Mommy mommy this is fun but can I have some money to but some cartridges to kill Seph?" His mother nods "No." Immediately, the little boy throws a temper tantrum.
Kryozerkia
08-08-2004, 23:06
Lieutenant-General Quisentia tosses some at the boy. "Since you've been such a good boy."
Layarteb
08-08-2004, 23:13
Ecstatic, the little boy returns to line with a fresh load of 10 cartridges for gooing and 10 cartridges for goo removal, responding, "Thank you Mr. Cartridge-man-sir!"
Jangle Jangle Ridge
08-08-2004, 23:14
Taren steps up to a de-gooed Seph, slashityslashslashslash, four limbs on the ground, wounds cauterized and cleaned. Taren picks up the limbs and beats Seph with them.
Kryozerkia
08-08-2004, 23:24
Hmn... I wonder how much more Seph can take before he is completely destroyed... I guess my scientists forgot to research the affect of this weapon on the victim. Oh well..

*Kryozerkian military scientists randomly appear and begin to take research notes*
Kryozerkia
09-08-2004, 00:06
*bump*
Truitt
09-08-2004, 00:28
*Takes a gun with out anyone looking and shoots Majesto* wow, it really does work! Let me see that reversal stuff, I wanna do that agian! *starts laughing frantically* Ohh yeh, that was Seph, not Majesto ;)
Kryozerkia
09-08-2004, 02:05
Excellent... My scientists are pleased with the way the test is turning out. If any other nations have a grudge against Seph, feel free to pick up a Uber-matic Supertastic Plasma Supersonic Laser-stun Mini-nuke Projectile Gun!