NationStates Jolt Archive

To all concerned national leaders:

As the result of a strike by workers in the United Flour Workers Union, all of our doughnut stores have been forced to shut their doors. Even here, in the royal palace, we have only enough ingredients to keep the Royal Baker's doughnut quota satisfied for the next 3 weeks at most. Please, we beg the world to assist us in our time of crisis. Our population is desperate. Without doughnuts, what will we dunk in our milk and our coffee? What will our kids have for breakfast? What will we do with our deep fat friers and icing machines? How will we maintain our national average Body Mass Index of 44 and keep the liposuction industry in business? Please, we beg our allies in the world for assistance!

Respectfully,
Kresp E. Krame,
Baker, by appointment to,
His Royal Highness,
King 'Lude II

The mighty Lord Jamith of Slimestoria wishes to help in this time of need, and will donate $1,000,000 to help buy the necessary ingredients.

I'll send over a crack team of Frumpy Kreme doughnut makers with a building team and ingredients as soon as we can. Until then, I would suggest feeding your citizens MRE. They're horrible for you. Only time they're good is if you march for miles and burn them off. And I don't think that's a problem.

TO: Slimestoria and Jangle Jangle Ridge

Thank you for your show of support!!! The money to buy ingredients is more than welcome, but without workers to make the dough, only the palace will benefit (though they do accept the benefit without hesitation). As to the MRE's Jangle Jangle, the idea is being discussed, however, without a doughnut dunked in coffee to supply energy for the marches, we fear most of our populance will resist the proposal.

How about we send over 4,000 hardened criminals to make the donuts for you!?!?!?! That would be great!!!!!

The nation of Slimestoria would be willing to send 200,000 bakers from our nation to yours to help in this pastry shortage.

The nation of Marak is willing to set up our own chain of doughnut stores, Kremey Krisps, which includes all the neccasarry equipment and bakers. You are free to tax this store, as long as we get the majority of its profits. The bakers are non union and will work for practicly nothing. We hope you consider our offer

How about we send over 4,000 hardened criminals to make the donuts for you!?!?!?! That would be great!!!!!

If you'll provide the needed security forces to keep them from stealing the dough and other ingredients and will accept our offer to pay your security forces the sum of $10.00/hour per man PLUS free room & board, and the criminals get all the "day old" donuts they can eat as payment for their work, then I think we have a deal that is sufficient to provide most of our important governmental functionaries with their necessary performance enhancements.

Thank you for the offer. However, we still need more, we have almost 300 million people that need to be served. Keeping the mandatory minimum of the government in service as Jangle Jangle Ridge has offered is welcome, but not enough to save us.

Thank you
Kresp E. Krame,
Baker, by appointment to,
His Royal Highness,
King 'Lude II

Ok, done. Also, I can send over the remaining needed workers from my population. Or I can send over millions of my genetically enhanced, fully sentient creatures. Just make them wear gloves.

I will send 3000000kg of stuff to make doughnuts. And if that fails, we will also send 6000000 doughnuts to last you for awhile.

The nation of Marak is willing to set up our own chain of doughnut stores, Kremey Krisps, which includes all the neccasarry equipment and bakers. You are free to tax this store, as long as we get the majority of its profits. The bakers are non union and will work for practicly nothing. We hope you consider our offer

We're willing to split the profits 60/40 with the 60 going to you.

A truly excellent bargain, construction to begin immedietely(did i even spell that right?)

Ok, done. Also, I can send over the remaining needed workers from my population. Or I can send over millions of my genetically enhanced, fully sentient creatures. Just make them wear gloves.

No offense, but I think we'll pass on the sentients. :)

I will send 3000000kg of stuff to make doughnuts. And if that fails, we will also send 6000000 doughnuts to last you for awhile.

Pending completion of Marak's chain, your offer is accepted. At least the kids will have their free breakfast at school again.

The nation of Slimestoria would be willing to send 200,000 bakers from our nation to yours to help in this pastry shortage.

Are they willing to work with Jangle Jangle's prisoners?

bumpety bump, bump, bump :)

No offense, but I think we'll pass on the sentients. :)
Ohhh. But they're nice. And, if you get attacked, they'll kill the intruders. I promise they won't turn on you and eat you! They're people too! Well... not really, but whatever.

bump

ooc: you get some points for originality

ic:

Bonstock will send 100 billion doughnuts... but it'll cost you 25 billion dollars*










*plus 5 billion shipping and handlin

Our Nation has wonderfull bakers and they make awesome doughnuts. We will send you 30,000 bakers.We need ice cream though we'll make a trade.

Are they willing to work with Jangle Jangle's prisoners?

Yes, they are perfectly fine working with prisoners. They will be sent to your nation my airlift right away.

Our Nation has wonderfull bakers and they make awesome doughnuts. We will send you 30,000 bakers.We need ice cream though we'll make a trade.

Deal! How much ice cream do you need and in what flavor(s)?

Originally Posted by Mauiwowee
Are they willing to work with Jangle Jangle's prisoners?

Yes, they are perfectly fine working with prisoners. They will be sent to your nation my airlift right away.

Thank you, they have arrived safely and been put to work.

ooc: you get some points for originality

ic:

Bonstock will send 100 billion doughnuts... but it'll cost you 25 billion dollars*




*plus 5 billion shipping and handlin

We appreciate the offer, but distribution logistics would mean that many people would be getting 2 or 3 day old doughnuts, we pride ourselves on fresh donuts. Do you have the ability to send ingredients for the manfacture of donuts? The influx of bakers from other countries has about got us back on track (and broken the back of the union that caused this crisis to begin with) but we need fresh ingredients for our new bakers to work with.

B
U
M
P

What about free porn so they forget about the doughnuts?

We have a few unemployed people seeking work, so we are sending over these workers. We are able to give you 1,200 workers who can operate your industry while teh strike persists.

Over Mauiwoweeian airspace

Group leader approaching target, distance approximately 23miles, E.T.A. 15 seconds. All flights prepare for final bombing approach. Open bomb bay doors...

Over target in 4...3...2...1...bombs away! Keep a low profile. We won't stick around to see if our mission was successful. Alright, men, time to head home...

____________________

Communique to the Mauiwoweeian government from the Foreign Ministry

We have heard of your crisis and so have scrambled two wings of bombers loaded w/freshly made doughnuts that have been airdropped over your territory approximately 27 minutes ago in order to curb the immediate need. Another two wings of bombers loaded w/flour, baking powder, and confectioner's sugar also dropped their cargoes over your capital city approximately 22 minutes ago. We hope that these supplies will aid in alleviating your predicament.

We have a few unemployed people seeking work, so we are sending over these workers. We are able to give you 1,200 workers who can operate your industry while teh strike persists.

Thank you. We will put them to work at a semi-decent wage and free donuts.

Over Mauiwoweeian airspace

Group leader approaching target, distance approximately 23miles, E.T.A. 15 seconds. All flights prepare for final ing approach. Open bay doors...

Over target in 4...3...2...1...bombs away! Keep a low profile. We won't stick around to see if our mission was successful. Alright, men, time to head home...

____________________

Communique to the Mauiwoweeian government from the Foreign Ministry

We have heard of your crisis and so have scrambled two wings of ers loaded w/freshly made doughnuts that have been airdropped over your territory approximately 27 minutes ago in order to curb the immediate need. Another two wings of ers loaded w/flour, baking powder, and confectioner's sugar also dropped their cargoes over your capital city approximately 22 minutes ago. We hope that these supplies will aid in alleviating your predicament.

Thank you!! You should have seen the looks on our citizen's faces when it began to rain donuts. They were convinced the gods were smiling on them.

Thank you. We will put them to work at a semi-decent wage and free donuts.
Thank you.
They are all packed and equipped with work visas as well as passports. They are taking the next flight into your nation.