HP-Sauce
03-08-2004, 16:43
Since the old national store was destroyed ages ago, I think it's time for a new one. So come one, come all to the HPSauce store and buy the innovative HPSauce Saucological Technology.
Personnel Weapons
Sauce Launcher
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/launcher.jpg
Okay... so it may look like a 40mm grenade launcher with the word "sauce" painted on the side... but it really isn't, honest. Instead it's the ruthlessly efficient delivery system for various Saucological ammunitions. Really.
Price: 500 USD per unit
Barbeque Sauce
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/1parlg.jpg
Okay... so it may look like an ordinary bottle of barbeque sauce but really... oh who am I kidding. It is BBQ sauce. That doesn't mean it can't be a deadly weapon though. See below for details.
Price: 1.50 USD per unit
Arrrgghhhh!!! The bees! The bees!
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/front_jar_bees.jpg
They're bees, like you've never seen them before. Using our patented J.A.R. technology your soldiers will be able to "deploy the bees" using the Sauce Launcher. This weapon becomes even more efficient when used in conjunction with the above BBQ sauce, and ensures that your own men are not attacked by a flurry of painful stings. Fear the bees.
Price: 2 USD per unit
Uncle Hector's Old Timey Demolition Sauce
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/0014.jpg
For when you need a little more "bang" for your buck. Brewed using only the finest HPSaucian Explosive Chillis (as well miscellaneous herbs and spices), this sauce has serious damage dealing capability and a 500 metre blast radius. Warning: DO NOT SHAKE BEFORE USE.
150 USD per unit
Genetic Enhancements
Saucological Upgrade
Using state of the art Sauce-tech, your soldiers can be turned from regular type folk into gigantic-behemoths-striding-'cross-the-countryside-laying-waste-to-the-villages (actual size may vary). This proceedure is dangerous mind, and fairly controversial, but we are happy to report that after extensive testing we have met our goal of a 10% survival rate.
Warning: Proceedure may involve "robo-crazy" genetic code splicing.
Price: 500,000 USD per unit
Vehicles
Sauce-Powered Robot
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/rrobot_grey150.gif
Strike fear into the hearts of your enemies with the Sauce-Powered Robot from HPSauce Technologies. Hear him say 10 exiting action phrases including "I WILL DESTROY YOU, PUNY HUMAN" and "NONE SHALL STOP THE ALMIGHTY ROBOT". Has posable limbs and an exiting kung-fu chop attack.
Batteries not included
Price: 99,999.99 USD per unit
Necroroboticon
Robots of unspeakable evil, watch as they devour the hearts of your enemies and play ball games of various natures with their spleens. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Price: 50 Gallons human blood per unit
Personnel Weapons
Sauce Launcher
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/launcher.jpg
Okay... so it may look like a 40mm grenade launcher with the word "sauce" painted on the side... but it really isn't, honest. Instead it's the ruthlessly efficient delivery system for various Saucological ammunitions. Really.
Price: 500 USD per unit
Barbeque Sauce
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/1parlg.jpg
Okay... so it may look like an ordinary bottle of barbeque sauce but really... oh who am I kidding. It is BBQ sauce. That doesn't mean it can't be a deadly weapon though. See below for details.
Price: 1.50 USD per unit
Arrrgghhhh!!! The bees! The bees!
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/front_jar_bees.jpg
They're bees, like you've never seen them before. Using our patented J.A.R. technology your soldiers will be able to "deploy the bees" using the Sauce Launcher. This weapon becomes even more efficient when used in conjunction with the above BBQ sauce, and ensures that your own men are not attacked by a flurry of painful stings. Fear the bees.
Price: 2 USD per unit
Uncle Hector's Old Timey Demolition Sauce
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/0014.jpg
For when you need a little more "bang" for your buck. Brewed using only the finest HPSaucian Explosive Chillis (as well miscellaneous herbs and spices), this sauce has serious damage dealing capability and a 500 metre blast radius. Warning: DO NOT SHAKE BEFORE USE.
150 USD per unit
Genetic Enhancements
Saucological Upgrade
Using state of the art Sauce-tech, your soldiers can be turned from regular type folk into gigantic-behemoths-striding-'cross-the-countryside-laying-waste-to-the-villages (actual size may vary). This proceedure is dangerous mind, and fairly controversial, but we are happy to report that after extensive testing we have met our goal of a 10% survival rate.
Warning: Proceedure may involve "robo-crazy" genetic code splicing.
Price: 500,000 USD per unit
Vehicles
Sauce-Powered Robot
http://bratch.no-ip.com/coven/rrobot_grey150.gif
Strike fear into the hearts of your enemies with the Sauce-Powered Robot from HPSauce Technologies. Hear him say 10 exiting action phrases including "I WILL DESTROY YOU, PUNY HUMAN" and "NONE SHALL STOP THE ALMIGHTY ROBOT". Has posable limbs and an exiting kung-fu chop attack.
Batteries not included
Price: 99,999.99 USD per unit
Necroroboticon
Robots of unspeakable evil, watch as they devour the hearts of your enemies and play ball games of various natures with their spleens. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Price: 50 Gallons human blood per unit