NationStates Jolt Archive

Some time last week, due to a spilled cup of coffee, the HPSauce AutoNuko facility in Hoi Sin City launched it's entire nuclear and saucological arsenal against friendly cities. The result was not pretty. The nations former population of 1.5 billion was reduced to a scant 5 million in the brink of an eye. HPSaucian government officials refused to comment of the disaster, instead rotting slowly. The new de-facto government has promised to include stronger safeguards on all weapons of mass destruction, as soon as they can afford to get any.

Oh come on! Billions dead! A little sympathy might be nice, but whatever, you guys are obviously too good for HPSauce. My cabinet are going to go and cry now.

OOC: Lol! Nice one mate! Humorous narrative.

IC: We are deeply saddened by the news that HP Sauce managed to lose 1.5 billion people. Perhaps you should stick to drinking from bottles. Anyway, we'll send 1.5 billion dollars in aid to you.

HPSauce would like to thank you for your kind donation and will take your suggestion about bottles on board, bringing it up at the next meeting of the National Legislature.

Ah well... I suppose the rebuilding must now begin.

We will send $100 in aid.

Well thank you very much. We greatly appreciate your $100.

Cheap bastard.

WNBS News

Following a massive nuclear incident in nearby HP sauce, the Simianonia Protectorate closed it borders to refugees citing danger of contamination to its citizens as the reason.
Secretary of Foreign Affairs Lisa Fondle had this to say:
"Sod 'em"

When asked if any aid woulkd be given to the devestated country, Miss Fondle brayed like a donkey and doubled over in laughter. Our Journalist was then arrested under penal code3452, the asking bloody stupid questions act of 1998.

Dick Webber, WNBS

WNBS News

Following a massive nuclear incident in nearby HP sauce, the Simianonia Protectorate closed it borders to refugees citing danger of contamination to its citizens as the reason.
Secretary of Foreign Affairs Lisa Fondle had this to say:
"Sod 'em"

When asked if any aid woulkd be given to the devestated country, Miss Fondle brayed like a donkey and doubled over in laughter. Our Journalist was then arrested under penal code3452, the asking bloody stupid questions act of 1998.

Dick Webber, WNBS

If I still had my old nation you would be so nuked right now.

De-Facto Government

Well thank you very much. We greatly appreciate your $100.

Cheap bastard.

OOC: Bahahaha...

IC: It saddens us to see this huge number of casualties. We offer our most sincere condolences, and wish haste recovery to normal life. We also send $1.2 billion to your country's treasury.. for the rebuilding effort.

The government of the Empire of El-Sha'ladan will donate *camera zoom* 1 million dollars to the effort of rebuilding HP-Sauce. We also will donate one (1) trained pet spider monkey to high-ranking government officials (1 per official, that is) who fill out the necessary paperwork and get the proper medical vaccinations.

OOC: Yeah, people love monkeys... Maybe that'll give me some brownie points in the world community. :D

Billions of dollars... monkey... now that's what I'm talkin' about. Shame it won't bring back all those dead people, yadda yadda.

Tyrandis Central Command, classified location

"Hmm... some nation got pwned by a cup of coffee?" thought Praetor Conrad Davidson as he sipped his own morning cup. He chuckled, then had an idea.

Tyrandis Official Statement

Tyrandis sends her condolences, and offers two tons of our finest brew to replace the cup of coffee lost in the blast.

OOC: LOL, nice amusing storylines developing here :)

IC: The President of the Austar Union looked over the small news section in the comedy section of the Austar Union Herald. From outside his office, a burst of laughter could be heard, and the doors opened, President Madison with tears of laughter running down his cheeks.

Walking over to his secretary, he pointed to the small headline still unable to get a hold of himself. Judy read the headline exclaiming, "Thats aweful... should I send them any letters at least of our gratitude?"

Finally the President managed to take control of himself, "Yeah, sure, and send them some aid while your at it..."

Judy nodded, and began to draft a letter;

"We are deeply touched that your people have suffered. In fact, we request that such comedic activities continue. As payment for anymore stunts, please find a crate full of old television-recorded Barney the Dinosaur videos. You may have to sought through which ones still work, but im sure that you will find some from the first two seasons are in there..."

President Madison
The Republic of Austar Union

WNBS News

In a surprise turnaround, possible brought on by the threat of Nuclear weapons, the Protectorate of Simianonia donated 1400 Tons of Waped timber and three pup tents to the HP Sauce Nation.

Secretary for Foreign Affairs, Lisa Fondle, was quoted as saying "It was that or Nukes up the ying yang and you dont want that, beleive me, ive tried it!"

Dick Webber, WNBS

please find a crate full of old television-recorded Barney the Dinosaur videos

Havent these people been through enough?!

OOC: LOL, nice amusing storylines developing here :)

IC: The President of the Austar Union looked over the small news section in the comedy section of the Austar Union Herald. From outside his office, a burst of laughter could be heard, and the doors opened, President Madison with tears of laughter running down his cheeks.

Walking over to his secretary, he pointed to the small headline still unable to get a hold of himself. Judy read the headline exclaiming, "Thats aweful... should I send them any letters at least of our gratitude?"

Finally the President managed to take control of himself, "Yeah, sure, and send them some aid while your at it..."

Judy nodded, and began to draft a letter;

"We are deeply touched that your people have suffered. In fact, we request that such comedic activities continue. As payment for anymore stunts, please find a crate full of old television-recorded Barney the Dinosaur videos. You may have to sought through which ones still work, but im sure that you will find some from the first two seasons are in there..."

President Madison
The Republic of Austar Union

OOC: I usually do comedy storylines anyway, yeah. But it is annoying to lose a 1.5 billion pop nation. Oh well...

We of Alarian Mountain Will not provide financial Aid to your nation as long as you intend to rebuild your nuclear arsenals and remain a threat to the safety of this world, however, we are willing to send engineering teams to rebuild the national infrastructure, hazmat teams to clean up those areas that can be salvaged, doctors to treat your wounded, and offer safe haven to those who should cross our boarders as refugees. Should you think of something else you should require in the the form of humanitarian aid, it will be taken under advisement.

Princess Alanna

We of Alarian Mountain Will not provide financial Aid to your nation as long as you intend to rebuild your nuclear arsenals and remain a threat to the safety of this world, however, we are willing to send engineering teams to rebuild the national infrastructure, hazmat teams to clean up those areas that can be salvaged, doctors to treat your wounded, and offer safe haven to those who should cross our boarders as refugees. Should you think of something else you should require in the the form of humanitarian aid, it will be taken under advisement.

Princess Alanna

Well thank you kindly. Ironically enough the nuclear arsenals were in the process of being dismantled by the previous Green government just before the accident.

Of course your main wory now is shamblinhg hoardes of radioactive mutant zombis.

Of course your main wory now is shamblinhg hoardes of radioactive mutant zombis.

Which has given rise to an unfortunate bout of zombie-rights proposals from the radical left.

Damn those commies.

My country specialises in anti-pinko crowd control weaponry which I would be quite willing to trade.

Unfortunatley our nation prides itself on civil liberties, giving into temptation and eliminating a whole section of society might just harm that a little. So, thanks for the offer, but no thanks.

Go on, just one section of society wont hurt.
I crack skulls all the time and it never did me any harm

Goddamned Drugged out communists! :sniper:

Well thank you kindly. Ironically enough the nuclear arsenals were in the process of being dismantled by the previous Green government just before the accident.

Then we shall supply technicians and financial aid to see that any that are left are safely disposed of as well to prevent a repeat of this unfortunate accident.

-Princess Alanna