NationStates Jolt Archive

The slight and older form of the Sultan’s Chief Herald shuffles her way to the podium. Looking out and blinking in the sharp lighting, she smiles at the many members of the international and regional press represented tonight.
“Oh dear, I didn’t expect so many of you to show up.” A dull chuckle ripples through the assembled while she wipes her glasses clean on the edge of her simple burnoose. An aide all but appears at her arm; a swift and low conversation later, Nivia Alix von Cohen clears her throat, sips from the glass of ice water placed for her use and begins to speak in a clear, if grandmotherly, tone.
“Ab-shalom and greetings to all the members of the world pressed gathered with us this day, and greetings too to the world populace whom they serve. Our Sultan welcomes your visit to our country and trusts your stay will be most wondrous.
“For the collective edification of the assembled, our Sultan has directed the following statements to be read aloud in your presence, with your questions to be answered to the best of this one’s humble ability directly following.”

She rustles her notes and takes another sip from the glass.

“Be it known, the colonial claims of Vastiva upon the continent known as Manium have reached our full desired expanse; we are seeking a method by which a piece of coast upon the western shore could be accessed or claimed for use and development into a resort complex, but we seek no further claims as necessity, and no claims beyond that desire. Our intent is to colonize in harmony with our neighbors, to create a bastion of free trade and diplomatic co-existence.
“It is also our intent at this time to extend a formal invitation to the peaceful nations of the world to exchange embassies with the intent of reaching free trade agreements. Our Sultan believes Vastiva to have been in relative isolation for too long a season; it is his intent that we seek greater contact with those we share this planet with.”
“It is also the wish of our Sultan to edify the citizens of the nations of the world of the small progresses our humble nation has achieved”.

She takes a drink.

“While the overall size of our basket weaving and native crafts industries has been eclipsed by the economic force of our information technology and telecommunications offerings, it is our Sultan’s intent that the world be reassured of our commitment to our heritage. Our native crafts and the expansions we have learned will remain a goodly part of our exports and offerings. The Sultan further wishes it made known that he has increased the financing of his program to support the work and creations of artisans of all types within our country to the equivalent of one billion USD per annum. In this manner, our Sultan wishes it known that keeping these skills alive is a priority within Vastiva.

“Using the hydrogen fuel cell technology gleaned from our review of UN documents and refined with technical assistance from the nations in our region, Vastiva has begun widespread emplacement of the natively designed Narnia-II heating units, and the construction of additional Weyker greenhouses on our arable land. This project, to be accomplished over the next five years, will result in a net increase of domestic food production through the lengthening of our growing season and a net increase in year-round farmable land. It is hoped this will decrease dependency on marine sources of foodstuffs.
“Our Sultan also desires it mentioned that vast tracts of hemp are planned, for use by our Book Publishing industries as an alternative and improved source of paper, thereby reducing our costs”.

“Last night at 2200 hours Zulu, Vastiva put three nuclear reactors online, propelling Vastiva fully into the nuclear age.
“The Rurii Penthe facility was joined immediately to the domestic power grid; over the next ten years, this facility’s output will be increased to supplement the growing needs of our people.
“The Suava Enoch and Suava Theron facilities on the continent of Manium are intended to supply primary power to our colonies there as suitable quantities of coal were not discerned to be available within our claim. These plants will also be used to power the Chenyhasti Launch Platform as part of our commitment to create and continue a space program.”

Another sip from the glass.

“A shipment of twenty breeding pairs of genetically enhanced Tabu Nekku were successfully introduced to the wild this week. It is hoped this addition of population, with higher breeding capabilities, will aid in the recovery of our nation’s animal as we continue forward with our commitment to renewing our environment. A second shipment of adapted Tabu Nekku were introduced to the colonists on Manium for possible breeding under those conditions. However, our scientists did present to our Sultan this week a living fossil – a successful clone of the feather-bellied Tabu Nekku. This event, combined with the successful decoding of the DNA sequences of the Tabu Nekku, has gone far to prove the Tabu Nekku as a closer relative of the penguin then the domestic cat, a long source of contention among many of our people. Once significant breeding couples have been cloned, this former relative will be released to the wild to renew its numbers.”

With that, she removes her glasses, straightens her notes again, and peers around the room. “Questions?”

“Yes. What crops has the Sultan decided will be grown on the reclaimed land?”

“Besides the bounty of domestic hemp, our Sultan has expressed an interest in various fruit trees, to be followed by an array of vegetables. Our Sultan is pleased that several species have already been imported from our colony, some for their medicinal qualities and some for studies into widespread consumption. Next?”

"What about rumors that Vastiva is planning on returning to its conquering ways, that you are planning to start a nuclear arsenal from these power plants?"

Nivia bowed slightly. "Many regrets, but that is not our goal. If it were, would it not be evident by our development of a launch system, or of some way to deliver such systems to far away targets? That we have errected and currently enjoy the benefits of our three pebblebed reactors does not immediately imply we are out to look fondly upon the negative effects of nuclear power, nor for a return to days of bloodshed and death".

"Yeah, right".

This time, she bowed low. "Many sorrows. It becomes apparent the spoken truth will not reach you, and this one is loathe to voice untruth for the purpose of swaying your opinion".

"What of Vastiva's military build up?"

At this, she laughs slightly before replying. "Many apologies. Vastiva has given away all of her T-62 and T-72 tanks, and recently shipped all her
M-113 Armored Fighting Vehicles to a nation more needful of weaponry then Vastiva. While it is true we do possess a defensive military, any observer would say it is insufficient for any conquest or invasive operations".

"How about your colony? What's there?"

"To give exact numbers would not be in the national interest. It can be revealed that Colonel Fiyaad Shamshan and the 3rd Expeditionary Army has been deployed to that location, and is sufficient to provide for their defense".

"Even without their APCs".

~a small titter breaks out in the crowd~

An aide steps up and hands Nivia a message which she flips open and reads quietly before turning back to the podium.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, if it pleases, our Sultan has decided in the interest of free trade and to create a deeper spirit of unity between the nations of the region of Antarctica, to embrace the regional currency of the Polar Crown, as the de facto currency of our nation. The Kruzmark will continue to be used domestically, and will remain a gold-backed currency, but we will no longer trade Kruzmarks on the international market, and will not accept them from international sources."

"Screwing over those you trade with?"

She nods a bow. "Many pardons, but all our interactions were performed in currency traded through the UN. We presented Kruzmarks for exchange to USD, the international standard. Our Sultan has bought back the Kruzmarks we traded to the UN in entire, to protect our own currency."

"Won't keeping two currencies promote confusion?"

Nivia bites her lip in thought. "For a time, this will allow our nation to accept tourism with a regional currency - and we also accept USD, with exchange rates readily available. However, the Kruzmark has been our currency for over nine hundred years, and as such, is a historical feature of our national heritage. We are loathe to let such things fall by the wayside".

"Why is Vastiva going into a national drug trade?"

Nivia blinks at that one. "Drug trade?"

"Our sources say Vastiva recently purchased large quantities of absinthe and LSD from a known drug producing country. It can only be assumed..."

"Assumed." She smiles forgivingly at the gentleman asking the question. "That is a harsh word, particularly in international politics. In this case, your source is correct, both purchases were made by the office of the Sultan. The absinthe has been earmarked for official use, as apparently some of the nations we are to entertain do rather enjoy such a beverage. We are only semi-acquainted with its uses and flavor, and as such, had to order from an external source to acquire enough for such. I believe there is talk of using it in cooking, but you will have to discuss that with the Sultan's kitchen staff.

"As to the LSD, again, you are correct, we did make such a purchase. In this case, it is the desire of our Sultan to reopen the methodical and scientific research into the use of this medication in achieving both higher states of conciousness, and in overcoming blockages of the psyche. It is hoped this medication can become of use in reorienting our population where such has become stagnant or confused.

"It should also be reiterated, Vastiva has few if any drug laws. Our laws are rather clear on personal responsibility, however. We have no trouble with someone smoking in public. We do have a problem with that person causing a fire. We have no trouble with someone using heroin. We do have a problem if that person causes havoc in public because of their addiction. We have no problems with the use of methamphetamines. We do have a problem when their usage disrupts our public. In short, we allow the individual to choose for themselves what they wish to do to their own bodies, to their own materials, to anything which is their own. Those rights stop, however, where others begin. But, many apologies, ladies and gentlemen of the press, these rights and forebearances are all spelled out in our Declaration of Personal Responsibilities, which is available for viewing in the Peter McWilliams wing of the Vastivan National Archives, or for download by any public feed."

She takes another drink. "Any further questions?"

bump

"Is it true you are having a problem with black market cheese importation?"

She cleans her glasses before answering. "A slight one. You must remember, we have been mostly cheeseless since 1989. The shipments from BluePenguin were enough to whet the appetites, but unfortunately our GDP does not allow quite the amount of cheese we appear to... have an appetite for, as yet."

"Is it true cheese is going to be made a controlled substance?"

That got general laughter.

"What about food imports? Has the situation gotten worse?"

She laughs. "Hardly. We are involved in trading, as is our wont and as is proper between international acquaintances. The details are a matter of public record - we are shipping books and various crafts for resale, and in turn are importing fish stock and beef."

"Stock?"

Another laugh filled the room.

"No, in this case, the full cow. It is another taste we have long been without, which is being returned to the people's larder".

(Excerpted from channel 722 VNN evening broadcast)

… VAS troops are shown here escorting the last of the 300 captives to safety. At this time, VNN does not have all the details, but the Sultanate announced today it has managed to free a total of three hundred young women from the bonds of slavery. In his mercy, the ex-slaves were given the offer of a trip back to their home countries or citizenship in the nation of Vastiva. Surprisingly, 271 of the ex-captives took citizenry. VAA officials have diligently been arranging transport for the other 29, but state the low numbers make use of military flights uneconomical.

"How do you explain that Vastiva is ranked 7th in the Antarctica region and 4,162nd in the world for Largest Cheese Export Sector, yet you import cheese from BluePenguins, which is 15,012 in the world?"

"It is not the size of the industry, but the type of cheese. While it is true we export cheese to the international market, our types are mostly farm cheeses and goats milk cheeses. Not a small amount of Feta comes originally from Vastivan goats. However, we are very limited in our sources of milk, and as such, our types of cheese. So we import cheese - over thirty billion USD worth of cheese was imported by Vastiva last year alone".

"Why is Vastiva launching spy satellites?"

"We are not. We are beginning our space program, albeit on the shoulders of information gleaned from allies and our perusal of UN information. This does not include spy satellites at this time. Vastiva operates satellites only over its sovereign territory, and at this time there are none over her colony."

"Then what payload is being fired tomorrow?"

"Many apologies. If you mean what is being tested on our colony, we are testing initial designs of boost systems, and environmental systems for our astronaut corps. The payload is a flight vehicle, which is set to rise into low orbit, circle the globe twice, and return".

The Sultans Chief Herald, Nivia Alix von Cohen, steps to the podium looking a bit frazzled and haggard.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the World Press. At 1306 Zulu mean time today, the test vehicle launched by the VAA from our colony on Manium suffered an unknown fault. This caused the payload vehicle to be incompletely launched at a lower altitude then planned, which had an unforeseen effect on the trajectory of the vehicle.

"At 1308 Zulu, the payload vehicle launched itself into our mountain range, burying itself in the cliff face. This sudden change in the aerodynamity of the launch vehicle caused it to take on a ballistic course which took it directly into Noviet airspace, where at 1313 Zulu it was destroyed by missiles fired by Noviet fighters at our request.

"We believe that though the payload vehicle is severely damaged, it can be recovered at least in part. Our current concern is the fires now burning in Noviet territory, which we estimate to be between four and nine kilometers in diameter."

One reporter stood up. "Was this a nuclear vehicle?"

Nivia looked almost pained. "No, this was a conventional rocket, though the fuel source was most non-conventional... and yes, before you ask, the type of fuel and method shall remain confidential for the time being."

"What of the sudden build up of Vastivan naval forces, particularly those forces able to carry nuclear weapons?"

"Our nation is one of the few with an official policy of 'No First Strike' in accordance with the MAD doctrine. However, we have discovered being able to land a sufficient second strike is now a requirement of international politics. This has nothing to do with the disaster in Noviet territory."

"Was the strike intentional?"

"Your pardon, may I remind you of the definition of 'accident'?"

(highlights from VNN channel 722 broadcast) [I]

...and the kitten was saved with minimal loss of life.

In other news, the VSRA announced today the agreement of a joint attempt to reach space. This agreement was signed today with Sharinan officials, and will mark the beginning of the first time Vastiva has begun a major project with one of the segments not officially part of Vastiva.

Weather today, snow!

(highlights from VNN channel 722 broadcast)

NATO fleets are surrounding the island and most apparently the Guerillistan government is in too much of a state of flux owing to it's military takeover of it's neighbor to put up serious resistance. Some internal sources suggest the Guerillistani government might be aiding and abetting allied forces in their movement to remove terrorists from their soil.

Elsewhere in the news, Penguin marriages are up twenty-four percent following...

Nivia Alix von Cohen coughed gently before answering.

"Yes, it is the understanding of Vastiva that the Republic of Blue Penguins has disintegrated into chaos and civil war. It is not our policy to intervene, though we will send humanitarian aid if requested."

"What of the cheese? Vastiva imported nearly thirty billion USD worth of assorted cheeses yearly from that nation. How will you make up the deficit?"

Nivia shifted. "Trade relations with Inkana have made up some of the deficit. There are cheese producing nations within our region. And our Vizier of Commerce, Voyate Shumash ben Allen, is in negotiations to open free trade with a dozen more nations under the auspices of our ally, IDF. We therefore do not see any sort of long term problem, and we assure the public our storehouses of cheese will hold out for some time to come."

A man raises his hand in the audience, on his wide brimmed hat is pinned a press card.

"Excuse me, but I must know, does this suit make me look fat?"

A man raises his hand in the audience, on his wide brimmed hat is pinned a press card.

"Excuse me, but I must know, does this suit make me look fat?"

Nivia considers the man for a minute.
"Stand up. Yes, you. Stand up. Good. Now turn around. Slowly, slowly, you're not a drill or a merry-go-round. Very good. Now turn and bend. Not that way. Good."
She pauses and drinks before firing off:
"It is our view it is not the suit that makes the man look fat, but rather the man who makes the suit look like sausage skin."

"Is it true the Vastivan armed forces are developing new mine types?"

"Many apologies, but that sort of information is classified. As would be the deployment of our fleets off the coast of Japanese Antarctica."

(Highlights of VNN Channel 722 News Reports)

…and those are the three things known to cause fatal nose warts in penguins.

Thanks, Bob! We’ll all have to keep that list in mind to keep our spouses around a good long time. Elsewhere in the news, the first unmanned Vastivan orbital probe, Laika orbited our planet fifteen times before being recalled by VAA technicians. The probe performed its mission perfectly, landing only two miles from it’s projected touch-down point, and was recovered without incident by our waiting fleet. Dr Nebiat Berhe told reporters this step has placed Vastiva approximately four years ahead of schedule of our Sultan’s announced project of putting colonies in orbit.

Now for Sports. In a close match, the Detroit Lions…

(Highlights from VNN Channel 722 News Reports)

... and in business news today, Gambling Industries edged out Woodchipping Exports as third largest industry in Vastiva today, moving Basket Weaving and other Craft related industries to fifth place. It is believed along with the coming opening of Vastivan Cruise Lines to the general world public, this change will bring immense amounts of currency into Vastivan pockets, courtesy of the world population. Voyate Shumash ben Allen, Vizier of Commerce, could not be reached for comment as he is listed as in attendance of a trade conference in IDF.

The defensive blockade of Antarctican waters near our regional ally Japanese Antarctica continued today, with additional minefields being laid amid reports of possible CAD aggression to come. At this point, it was not known whether General Riva Sola al-Din would request aid from NATO or our other allies, but the Department of Peace issued a statement reassuring the public of the complete lack of militaristic action taking place against Vastivan soil and airspace, and reiterated Vastiva's commitment to our regional allies when possibly threatened with outside aggression.

Penguin marriages increased by six percent this month...

(Highlights from VNN Channel 722 News Reports)

... while Admiral Mesfin al-Din waved off suggestions the fleet was wasting taxpayer money, he did comment on several design improvements to the targeting drones, which would - he hoped - begin a miniature arms race between drone developers and targeting engineers.

In other news, our Sultan inaugurated Vastiva's first "Autobahn". Formerly Interstate 18, the Autobahn is the first piece of Vastivan territory with no posted or enforced speed limit on the innermost two lanes of this ten lane superhighway. Citizens are encouraged to review the dictums of the new law, found within Vastivan Civilian Databases, or within the inserts in Sunday's paper.

This just in - Brittany Spears is sleeping. We will keep you updated on these crucial developments...

(Highlights from VNN Channel 722 Evening Broadcast)

...frogs in the military.

And in other news, Chief Scientist Nebiat Berhe announced the success of the ARTEMIS program in initial and field testing.

(Camera on a balding man in lab coat, standing in front of a bisected I-beam of some sort of shiny substance, webbed with cracks and melted at the bisection)

"It is our belief the ARTEMIS system will become the point defense system of Vastiva's Navy within the next three to six years. At this point, we are only refitting our Archer class Cruisers with the new system. As you may know, the use of magnetic fields instead of focusing lenses has caused quite a stir... "

(He's hustled off camera. The anchor looks nervously off camera for a moment before adding)

"And now these important messages from Sugar-Frosted Sugar Bombs, now in new Cocoa and Vanilla!"

"Herald, what action is Vastiva poised to take with the aggression in Europe?"

Nivia Alix von Cohen straightened her burnoose. "Vastiva is Antarctican. We have no interest in Europe save through our allies and commitments."

(Internal Memo, VAS forces)

Effective Immediately:

All FN-MPs will be replaced with the new FNP90 SMG. The older FN-MPs are to be shipped to our colonial holdings on Manium for usage by their security forces.

Vastivan SWAT FN-MPs will be "traded out" over the course of the coming year. Individual officers will have the option to purchase the outmodeled gun as per dictate 21-375.4 and 21-375.6 .

Vastiva announced today it would be seeking relations with the Queendom of Toreador Rose and Miemalkonnen.

Vastivan officials announced today there would be a "reorganization" of the military. As a result, many pieces of outmodded equipment would be put up for sale.

It was also noted the percentage of the population in the active military increased to two percent last month, a clear sign given the raised pay of those in the military.

(Highlighted from VNN Channel 722 Evening Broadcast)

... and so our fleet continues it's trek towards French Cheeses and Wines. We can only hope German mustards are on the trading route as well.

psst, and Italian ices, don't forget the ices.

Idiot, you can make those here. Just go outside with a cup and some lemon juice.

Oh, yeah.

In other news...

(Highlighted from VNN Channel 722 Evening Broadcast)

Sources in the Vastivan military announced today they are attempting to acquire production rights to the Cheetah Urban Assault Vehicle. Such an acquisition would bring an end to Project:Igloo, which is involved in designing an arctic-friendly urban assault vehicle.

Said Kidane Alemachu, Vastivan Vizier of Trade and Contracts:
It's all about efficiency. If we can spend some money and save some time, overall it works out better for the Vastivan tax payer. Overall, we will be saving billions from the developments budget, which can be reapportioned to the Education and Welfare budgets.

In other news, another n00b was hit by a falling anvil in downtown...

A tall, oddly dressed fellow stood up during the press conference, and requested the chance to take his voice up to the rest of the people there. He had a very important question he wanted to ask.

"What is Vastiva's current opinion on Euroslavia, and the Empress? What about the current Communist revolt, and the invasion of Euroslavia by Nikolaos the Great? What is Vastiva's approach to this whole mess?"

The man sat down as everyone else became quiet, as he awaited a response.

Nivia Alix von Cohen straightened her burnoose.

"As Euroslavia is a NATO member, it would behoove Vastiva to provide all the support of any and all kinds needed or requested in order to head off the crisis and repel the invader. Your pardon, but this office was not aware of such invasions as having taken place."

"We are informed that elements of the Vastivan 4th and 5th fleet are on hand at the Euroslavian situation, along with two MASH battalions."

"We are also happy to report our trading fleet has returned from it's sojourn through the Suez Canal. Captain Stephan Peterson of the VSS Corbu is reportedly receiving a huge bonus in addition to his share of the cargo for his own use."

(internal QM document)

... and as of today, Vastiva will be replacing the 5.56 version of the FN-AS with a 5.3 version. This will give a standardized shell to both the FN-AS and FNP90 SMG and allow both to use the new 5.3mm SPI AP rounds.

In test firings, the new 5.3mm SPI AP rounds, designed to combat the more “modern” combat armors, penetrated 94 layers of Kevlar at 100 yards. This is against the older 5.3mm round which penetrated 34 layers at the same range.

QM will issue the older rounds for all weapons test firings and practice rounds. SPI rounds are to be issued to combat troops only, and then only prior to entering the combat theater.

All remaining 5.56mm ammunition will be warehoused for a period of eight months while the changeover is in progress, at which time it will be sold to the general public. Note that this does not include any special ammunition, only the regular 5.56mm rounds.

There's a man in the audience, a Roskian man. He is from New Roska actually. One of the first settlers. He was wearing a suit, cheaply made in New Roska, imported from The Island of Rose. He stands up, his eyes focus on the woman answering the questions. He clears his throat.

"What is your status on New Roska? Oh and..."

He throws a paper airplane towards the Vastivan.

Official Statement from The Protectorate of New Roska:

We are planning to make an alliance in Manium. The President has authorised me to ask you if your Vastivan colony can join the right now called "Manium Defensive Alliance". I wish you to show this to the Sultan and Sultan alone. Also, invite NATO and Victoria members only. Good day.
-Governer Josef Rasingord of New Roska

He raised his brow.

Another man stood up, this time from The Island of Rose itself. He cleared his throat as the Roskian sat down. "What is your stance on the Coalition of Common Sense?"

((OOC: As you can see, I'm planning to make a new Manium RP ;) ))

"Many apologies, we have heard nothing of this situation as of yet. But we will remain attentive."

***

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

Captain Stephan Peterson of the VSS Corbu had the honor of bringing in the first "crop" of mail-order brides to the colonists of Pangea. Twelve hundred women were settled among the supply shipment, most of them recently "recruited" from Serafima as having all desirable characteristics. According to official press releases, the arrival of the twelve hundred women and four thousand males will bring the current population of Pangea up to a respectable hundred thousand.

Local colonial forces have already been deployed to prevent riots as the ladies matrimonial position is decided by lottery.

(excerpted from VNN channel 722 evening news)

...and this just in... elements of the Vastivan Navy have opened fire on a Communist Louisianan fleet attempting to occupy land belonging to our NATO ally, Euroslavia... at this time, casualties and damage are not known...

(excerpted from VNN channel 722 broadcast)

... vanilla imports.

In other news, military spending was cut back in the new yearly budgetary request. While this does not affect the raise in average military pay to 40,000 PC yearly, this is projected to cause a slow down in the acquisition of new units. Ministry of Peace officials chose not to respond to questions, stating the Heralds Office would be briefed for a conference in a few weeks.

The Vastivan colony on Sisu Pangea continues to report growth and new discoveries of mineralogical wealth. The colony exported well over three hundred thousand tons of various ores last year, along with several thousand tons of indigenous foodstuffs including domesticated food animals. According to colonial reports, the beefalo and bison are indigenous to the area, and while herds are plentiful, steps are being taken by the Vastivan Ecological Agency to insure they are not hunted into extinction.

Sisu Arshu committed its fifteenth unmanned flight and reassured the populace of its intention to manned flight within the year. Earlier planned manned flights were aborted owing to weather pattern changes, and testing of manned capsules and GTLEO space planes went on full throttle.

In domestic news, the first shipments of high quality mozzarella from the Borderlands of Mist and Fog arrived in Kjik’kjak today, among rumors of another general release of cheese products to the public. At this time, however, the cheese remains under heavy guard as units from the 9th and 23rd Support Battalions were called in to begin general division of shipments.

Immigrants from the melted nation of Icebergia continue to flood Vastivan cities today. Relief workers are seen here erecting temporary shelters, and handing out pickled herring to the exhausted penguins. At this time there is no word on the cause of the disaster, though when asked, this was the official statement from most of the immigrants:

“Thhhpppttthhhhhppppttthhhhpth!”

In medical news, it was disclosed that drumming causes gonadal shrinkage. At this time, there is no known cure for the event, though it is believed a long period of silence, followed by brief periods of humility, may have a beneficial effect.

Weather for today called for cold with a cold front moving in from the south. Temperatures are expected to hover around -14 C today, dropping to -22 C tonight. The weekly forecast calls for…

(excerpted from VNN channel 722 broadcast)

...flavors.

Our Sultan declared today Vastiva will be observing a three day period of mourning for the death of Crown Prince Louis Cessar of Hamptonshire, to begin at noon tomorrow. All businesses shall close at the onset, with all federal businesses remaining closed throughout the observation. All flags will be flown at half mast, and all military personnel are instructed to display black armbands.

We now go to a feed from HNN, taped earlier.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7335391#post7335391

~silence, as both newscasters give a slow solemn bow, and the national anthem of Hamptonshire begins to play softly over a photo retrospective of the Crown Prince's life, as assembled by HNN. The last notes play to a fade out, replaced by the Vastivan flag, flying at half mast~

(from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

… artichokes.

In an official release by the Ministry of Peace, it was confirmed today a Vastivan submarine - the VSS Saagroth - launched a cruise missile at a shipping convoy in international waters near Praetoria. The strike was nuclear in disposition and it is not believed any remnants of the convoy remain.

According to the official VAS response, the convoy was transporting chemical and biological weapons destined for use by the Jaxus Five terrorist group. Due to the nature of the cargo, and the disposition of Vastivan forces in the area, it was decided to use nuclear weapons rather then to allow any part of these weapons to fall into the hands of the terrorists.

In other news, furbie skin rugs have become…

(from VNN channel 722 evening broadcast)

... icebergs.

And it is official, the Sultan has returned unharmed from Hamptonshire. He can be seen here stepping off his official conveyance and waving to the crowd.

It is notable this was the first time a Sultan has left the country since the Soviet occupation. However, our Sultan has not made any promises that this will not be the last time.

In other news, the Euroslavian Government-In-Exile...

(from VNN channel 722 evening broadcast)

... proof positive.

Bey Sistani Sacher-Fuchs was executed today after being convicted on a charge of Treason by Corruption. The mode chosen by popular vote was simple beheading, and the condemned chose a lethal cocktail of cocaine, heroin, and LSD prior to sentencing being carried out.

Due to the nature of the charge, the Council of Imans did conduct an investigation, but the full range of corruption was deemed to be local and his family was sealed as "uninvolved and unaware". As such, seizures were relatively minor. Full information on the auction and coverage of the trial and execution are available on our website.

The Xolotl collection will be arriving in Sisu Vaari this week, as part of a cultural exchange with Sisu Pangea. The collection of Aztec artifacts….

(from VNN channel 722 evening broadcast)

... chicken wings.

In other news, Major Wilhelm Lederer became Vastiva's first official astronaut, completing twenty orbits of our fair planet before re-entry and recovery a mere 30 nautical miles from the planned landing site. Recovery helicopter crew reported the Major in excellent spirits following his four day expedition into space.

VSA officials announced ecards and email are available to the major in his containment area, for the address and live webcam broadcasts (at a slight fee), please see our website.

In other news, Iron Chef...

(excerpted from VNN channel 722 evening broadcast)

...and with the blessing of Kava Noordi-al-Naaman, Chief Architect of Vastiva, construction of the NATO Headquarters has begun at full swing.

Construction of the Tudrussel Orbital Platform began today, with the launch of the first stationary module from Sisu Arshu at 1300 GMT today. A comment from Dr. Nebiat Berhe, Chief Scientist of the Vastivan Aeronautics Administration:

With this launch, Vastiva begins its trek into the infinite possibility of space. We expect the platform to be completed within two years, at which time we will begin experimentation in zero-g materials with a permanent crew of thermomusicologists and metalurgists. It is hoped within ten years, Vastiva will have a ship design to reach as far as Mars.

Good Luck with that, Dr Berhe!

VAS Naval units are preparing to return to Haifa following...

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

... betting remains heavily on contestant #6 as the infiltrator.

In international news, Vastivan Health Services began widespread innoculations this week among the populations of its possessions in South Africa and Madagascar. Specifically among the targeted diseases were smallpox, rubella, measles, mumps, and ebola.

A representative of the VHS-Colonial Division had this to say.


"We're using a modified mutagenic vaccine, as scourges in this particular part of the world are known for rapid mutation. As a result, our vaccines are encompassing a great many numbers of plausible variations of these viruses, resulting in a broader general immunity.

"We have also firebombed several caves known or thought to be sources of the Ebola infections, in one case reducing a cave to a pile of slag."

"What of the native bat populations?"

"Artificial caves were constructed prior to Vastivan actions; it is not our desire to render these animals homeless, but to insure the survival of the human inhabitants of these colonies. As a result, the artificial caves include a wide range of monitoring equipment, but other then that will not interfere with the animals natural habits."

At this time, the vaccines are showing a 6.2% rejection rate, with 9% of the rejectees developing fatal infections. These numbers, say sources, are well within acceptable tolerances.

In other news, castaways were...

(from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

...housing assembly.

In other news, owing to recent announcement by the Federal Union, Vastiva has decided unilaterally to open its doors to applications for visas.

At this time, it is not known if full diplomatic negotiations will be opened, but it has been widely acknowledged that this would be a step in that direction.

Weather today, cold...

Excerpts from The White Sultan: Military Conflicts during the Reign of Sultan Sinjin Lefkowitz al-Din

Chapter Four “Operation: Brimstone”

“A Simple Plan”

…. “Initial strategy in the theater of operations called for a strong IDF presence in the north, to be backed quickly by Jonothonian ground units onece the OpFor naval and air units were suppressed by bombardments of airfields and any hostile port facilities. An eastern thrust through Tanzania would be performed by combined Schultarian Prime and Vastivan forces, with DPUO and Vastivan forces giving an additional thrust from the west. This combined pincer movement would force Zarbian troops to fight a three-front war, which would hopefully bring about a swift ending to hostilities. The entrance of Havenite troops into the conflict was seen as a given, but without port or air support, the colonial supplies could be quickly and efficiently run out, resulting in a victory by strangulation.

“General Riva Sola al-Din realized a glaring problem with the NATO strategy as put to her staff – namely, Vastiva possessed no amphibious landing capacity.”

“… a series of secret talks with her counterparts from the nation of Nova Hope, she arranged to have a Noviet contingent present on the eastern front, under the auspices of the “Vastivan 9th Fleet”. The landing would be observed and supported by the 13th FRAM Regiment under Colonel Ibtihaj Shaw….”

“…Lt. Colonel Arthur Kassim al-Ekechukwu would lead the central thrust. A South African Muslim immigrant, he had served in the South African militia with distinction, and had been promoted after several tours of the Sisu Arshu and Sisu Pangea colonies…”

“… Bribery would play a large part in the opening stages. The advantage of an oil-rich nation was simple - currency. Huge bribes had been quietly funneled into Namibia, Botswana, and Zimbabwe's native governments. Over two billion USD equivalent was moved from Vastivan coffers into the hands of railroad directors, warehouse owners, local police and government. Troops were bivouacked in hotels bought out completely for a month’s time. Under the cover of "industrial parts" and "motor shipments", Vastiva had moved a total fifteen tank and thirty mechanized infantry divisions into Oshakati, Rundu, Bagani, and Kongola - closer to Zarbia then their intelligence was likely to notice, especially with the huge number of divisions assembled near the Zimbabwe-South African border. That over 80% of those “divisions” were uniformed civilians or reuniformed native militia and plastic tanks wouldn't make a difference - the shells were real enough to fool UV, and LNG generators assured IR compatibility with the fraud. Vastiva's population was heterogeneous enough to cover for the racial diversity. And between health care, sanitation, education, and flat out bribery, the South Africans were well and truly in NATO’s pocket.

“What had been missed was the Eredronian ownership of these locales. Their presence was insubstantial enough to be completely overlooked by most casual glances, but the nation itself did maintain military presence, and officially claimed the regions. This would cause problems later.”

“…discussions with the Eredronian Colonial Military leaders shows Vastiva did appraise the Eredronians of their intention to blow up the dam system at Ruacana. Why they decided – in light of this knowledge – to place forces in front of the dam system, directly on the flood plains, is unknown though it was a large part of the reason for their later nicknaming as “The Saddam Hussein’s of Africa”.”

“… due greatly to their presence, the Zarbian minefields would play little significant part in the defense of Angola. While all 12 Patsys were sunk during the combined mine and torpedo attacks, each had taken over 20 hits on average, making them exceptionally cost-effective. The later mod 2 build would address the vulnerability of the keel and underhull.”

“… shots/hits/kill ratios of the Havenite FastHawks was equally bad, owing to the range the weapons they were fired at. By the time the weapons came into range, Vastivan VOX-MIQ systems had positive tracks on most of the munitions, allowing the Locust and Discus systems on the screening frigates and destroyers, and the sheer firepower of the Archer cruisers, to intercept at nearly 88% accuracy. Additional kills were achieved with deck CIWS and RCIWS, and by floods of ECW from the two Guillen dreadnaughts. As a result, most kills were on the older and slower Grisha FFGs, though a number of Farragut DDGs suffered hits – with two sinking after torpedo attacks following missile hits – and the majority of Oliver Hazard Perry FFGs fell to missile attacks outside the AMS systems shell, owing to their ASW activities. Two Havenite missiles did penetrate as far as the inner circle of the Vastivan fleet, impacting on the VSS Desert Wind. The Guillen BBGN was found to have suffered no significant damage to its armor belt due to the hits.”

“… helos dropped in short order, resulting in Vastivan ASW Vikings and Sabres dropping their loads of Sacrifice-D torpedoes. At negligible range, and as the area was illuminated with heavy active sonar, the Havenite Orcas had no chance of avoiding the supercavitating shots. In one case, wreckage retrieval showed two Vastivan hits. The first had stove in the conning tower; the second broke the submarine in half.”

"... most likely, with the fall of the majority of the Eredronian army to the flood at Ruacana, and the demonstrated humanitarian efforts of the Vastivan and Schultarian Prime occupational forces, the native people had had enough. Over the course of the next two years, Botswana and Namibia had massive internal revolts, the victors deciding independance under the aegis of Vastiva was preferable to relative ignominity and abandonment by Eredron. Both became Vastivan protectorates in short order, advancing Vastivas controlled border directly to the southern face of Zarbias colonies."

Vastiva: The Year in Review (A sampling)

Domestic Events
Changed native currency from Kruzmark to the regional Polar Crown.

Official Recognition of Human/Penguin marriage, following relations with Pingweeners.

Absorbed refugees from Icebergia.

Five terrorist attacks by Janus Five cost thirty-eight lives and the sinking of the freighter Hippanoco.

Official Recognition of Furries as having the ability to achieve citizenship.


Science and Technology
Project: Kafka Status: ACRATHERM developed.

Project: Laika Status: Orbit achieved. Space Program continues in earnest.

Project: Artemis Status: Success. Results in Archer AA CGN design and MTHAL weaponry becoming available to VAS.

Project: Igloo Status: Abandoned at acquisition of Cheetah modular LAV platform.

Project: Tudrussel Status: Orbital Platform is being constructed.


International Events
Established 51 Embassies, 9 Consulates, 13 Trade Agreements

Joined TAPRES
Joined NATO


Established Colonies
Sisu Arshu (Manium)
Sisu Pangea (Sisu Pangea),
Madagascar,
South Africa,
Netherlands Antilles,
Botswana,
Namibia,
Petunia Isle

Established Naval Base on Manhattan Island


Medical/Humanitarian Interventions
British Morocco, Jamaica Reborn, Praetonia, Achleonia, Empire of Alexias, IDF, Euroslavia, Crystal Dragon, Juraina


Military Events
FN-MP was replaced by the FNP90 SMG.
Deployment of Pierpont SSN
Deployment of Slinger SSGN


Military Campaigns
Thwarting of invasion of Japanese Antarctica (Victory)
SoT Crisis (Victory)
Operation: Crucible (Victory)
Euroslavian Coup (Draw)
Suppression of Jamaica Reborn Religious Riots (Victory)
HLF Counterstrike (Victory)
Operation: Brimstone/Zarbian Colonial Front (Victory)

(Excerpted from The State of the Nation Report to the Sultan)

Ab-shalom and Greetings, My Sultan. The past year has been one filled mostly with joy and excess; it will be with regret we point out the difficulties of times past, but with pleasure we note overall, it was a very good year.

Domestic Issues

Human/Penguin Marriages These continue, having made a 43.6% increase overall in marriage and divorce related industries. As yet, we have seen no negative effects, though there is significant scientific interest in how humans who started from eggs are different from humans born the usual way; results are inconclusive. We find no reason to interfere at this time, though funding has been allocated to continue to study the situation.


On Furries We have come to accept them as potential citizens following the declaration of The Federal Union; initial studies have found them to be strongly driven by their personal estrus, regardless of “race”. Beyond this consideration, we have found no difficulties in assimilation, though there is the normal difficulty of accepting those who are so different into a society such as ours. Still, they appear to be melding with society without great difficulty. As yet, they are no more then 0.2% of the population, with the actual figure probably much lower. We predict no particular problems here.

We do note, this particular part of the population is singularly developed to take on the role of prostitute and geisha within our society, without any known difficulty or impairment of their psyche. As such, we do not make comment beyond noting their presence in that area of employment has reached 11%, with a mean income 13% above their human counterparts. At this time, it may be exoticism, but we will keep track in any case.


Finances
Reported to UN:
GDP: $40,907,499,726,986.99
GDP Per Capita: $38,664.93
Unemployment Rate: 3.19%
Government Budget: $16,472,251,418,210.00

Actual:
GDP: $75,293,486,398,704.00
Government Budget: $33,074,747,615,572.30

The former figure increases greatly due to trading and other action from our colonies, including smuggling; it also includes one-time sales of outdated military gear on the open and black markets. The latter figure as shown, now takes into account dividends and payments directly into our Sultan’s account because of a 50.1% ownership of companies and their stock, as well as income from the former activities.

Reported to UN:
Exports: $4,747,996,728,718.34
Imports: $4,834,158,154,848.75
Trade Deficit: ($86,161,426,130.41)

Actual:
Additional Income: $638,642,637,610.79
Trade Surplus: $552,481,211,480.38

$636,242,892,129.06 was made in regional arbitrage owing to our strong Polar Crown vs. the regional Polar Crown and our trade relationship with the Militant Pingweeners. As they have no interest in money, and yet maintain a version of the Polar Crown as regional currency, manipulation of our money supply and general circular arbitrage – at profit to our coffers – is easily accomplished. In addition, our openly governmentally controlled businesses received $206,312,918.64 in licensing fees, and there was a one time addition of $73,432,563.09 in sales during depreciation to move our Allanean factories back into local control, due to reports from our HSI agents of instability in the area. We also have a one-time payment of $2.12 billion as a lump sum settlement from Zarbia and Safehaven2 as restitution for our part in Operation:Brimstone. This gives us a real commerce excess of $552,481,211,480.38 for the year, the majority of which has been hidden in our Sultan’s personal accounts.

Additional income from Operation: Polar Thunder is still undergoing review; those figures are not available at this time. (See Appendix D for an incomplete listing)


International Issues

Embassies, Domestic
Achelonia, Aliana, Atlantic Quays, Binexx Island, Blue Penguins, British Morocco, Cayton, Cilantir, Cullenus, Endenia, Free Marlton, Ghost Dog, Infernoland, Keshrick, Last Patriots, Nypolina, Tanagondaria, Universalist Totality, Vaniya, and Williams-Ricardo have all undergone revolution. As such, in accordance with our practice, we have allowed the various inhabitants of the embassies to maintain their residences, and to have full access to accounts kept in Vastivan banks. Our resident ambassadors have also made the usual approaches to trade technologies, knowledge, all things the foreign ambassadors might have known in return for additional funds or an appropriate income from licensing fees and the like. This information has allowed Ghost Wind to enter several nations and liberate items of particular interest to Vastiva, from artworks to information, to scientists, to bulk currency and precious metal storages. (A full notation of technologies and other acquisitions may be found in Appendix E) We do not believe this to be a case of schadenfreude, but rather of opportunism of the best sort, as it allows income for those who are now without a country, and provides significant benefit to Vastiva with no additional effort.


Operation:Brimstone While our involvement in this activity was relatively minor, the cost was still very high. It also served to point out several difficulties with our present methodologies of incorporating citizenry into the military on a conscription rather then voluntary basis.

Naval: Total Loss was 34 vessels, including all twelve of the first prototypes of the Patsy-class minesweeper. 64% of all crews were recovered, none of them from the submarines lost. We can claim a victory in our cruise-missile strike, which completely destroyed the Havenite fleet; it also remains true that our navy incurred the least losses. However, costs – including acquisition, as there is no need to purchase more of the older Grisha Frigates (which made up the bulk of our losses), munitions expended, repairs, payroll, and incidentals – will come to over $350 billion USD.

Air: Total Loss was 84 of the older F-125 Gyrafalcon fighters, 10 B-52Hs, 20 B-2s,
12 B-3S. Pointedly, there were only two carrier-based Gyrafalcon losses. We also lost two OVERSIGHT and one PANDORAS BOX satellite and twelve LAMPS-III helicopters. (additional helicopter losses are found in Appendix C, along with full notations of all losses) Pointedly, the mis-shipping of the 1247th Autogyro Wing and its compliment of 12,000 SHARD drones was telling: neither played a part in the war, and as a result, air losses (and land losses) were that much higher. Total costs here will come to over $27 billion.

Land: Total Loss (See Appendix C). Overall, this arena was a near-failure, first in putting inexperienced troops under an inexperienced leader, then in a failure of getting support aircraft and drones to the proper places at the proper times. We can add the failure of our allies to arrive on timetable in our support, but must take the majority of the blame – it is not for them to support us, but for us to do our best. The only unit which showed what Vastiva is truly capable of on the ground was the 13th FRAM Regiment, under Colonel Ibtihaj Shaw, who took a highway and airport with only light damage to a Cheetah which ran into a ground-support vehicle attempting to damage the runway. Total costs here will run to over $100 billion, including the funds used to replace missing citizens on the home front.

Overall, much of the cost of Brimstone will be recuperated in time from business opportunities and resource extraction from the Nambie, Cunene, and Hulia regions. However, this spread is not in accordance with a well-run military – we would expect the naval cost to be high, and in fact it is lower then projection. But for the time in field, the cost of ground operations is unacceptable, and should be a third of what it stands at. A need for a change in our methodology and training is obvious at this time.


* “schadenfreude” (to derive pleasure from another’s misfortune)

“… deconstruction of Relorin is nearly complete. We have also managed to incorporate most of the zoos into our own – the overcrowding means more temporary facilities, but we have hired extra staff to maintain them in the meantime.”

“That will bring an extra draw.” Idly, Sinjin flipped another page. “How are the Pingweeners reacting to Operation Polar Thunder?”

“That’s just it – they’re not.” Xxx flipped hair out of her face. “The polar bears never caused them any problems. For some reason, they’re not considered prey, at least not enough to merit wandering raider packs. Our troops have hunted out most of those left in the area, though we do not assume we got them all.”

“How about the highway?”

“Very heavy usage, more then it was planned for, but less then its design allows. We’re expanding to ten lanes, slowly. It helps that materials are close at hand.”

“Closer then we planned for.” His head shook again. “Survivors?”

“As yet, seventy-five thousand from all sources. There may be more, but they’re well hidden. A search by building has taken time, and there are still the sewers and other areas the bears could not fit. There was also a prison…”

“Prison?”

“Yes. We’re not sure of the status for that one. The guards and prisoners had collectively become one unit, capturing bears as food. However, we have their records, and they were prisoners, some for very good reasons.”

“Curious. Put them through HSI. Those who aren’t a threat, amnesty. Those who are - and I do mean are not were - we can deport to Sisu Pangea.”

“Yes, my Sultan.”

“For all we knew of our neighbors, there is still much we do not know. As such, we must remain open, and cautious. Have the Fatwa and Imam completed their studies?”

“Hardly. Three complete legal systems is more then most of them could wish for; the debates are… constant.”

“I have seen the reports on Intranet usage.”

“They tell less of the tale then you would think. Entire dinners are held for the purpose of debating small parts of… foreign law.”

“Ah. That would explain the rise in the food expense budgets.”

“Nothing beyond reason…”

Sinjin allowed himself a grin. “Worry not, there is plenty. The… what was the phrase? Ah yes. The “bank jobs” alone made for far more then could reasonably be spent – or unreasonably spent – in the coming years. Curious still the Pingweeners do nothing…”

“We have made adequate credit towards our pickled herring and milkshake exports to their region.”

“That does sound fair. Accounts are balanced.”

“Much like our recoveries from the wreckage of Icebergia.”

“There was far less there, and the oceans belong to all in the region.”

“Of course.”

Internal Communications

The 16th FRAM Regiment is to report to Dracul Ent for training exercises immediately.

Shipment Data (for transfer to Dracul Ent immediately)
1200 F-22 Fighters
200 B-2 Bombers
40,000,000 FN-AS Assault Rifles

OOC: You do relize that Angola as a full is now under Havenite command? The 10 yr whatever period is over so its all mine, Zarbs signed it over to me. But let me get this straight tho, you now control Eredrons old territory?

OOC: You do relize that Angola as a full is now under Havenite command? The 10 yr whatever period is over so its all mine, Zarbs signed it over to me. But let me get this straight tho, you now control Eredrons old territory?

OOC: Divergent histories is a lovely concept.

Nivia Alix von Cohen, Chief Herald to His Magnificence, the Sultan of Vastiva, straightens first her deep blue burnoose, then her glasses, and faces the crowd of international reporters.

“Thank you for coming.

“We would like first to confirm the rumors. The polar bear problem in Antarctica has gone fully beyond our control, and indeed is growing beyond our earliest estimates of a few dozen bears causing problems. At this time, our OVERSIGHT satellite system has registered at least a half-million bears, with the likelihood of many more.

“We would also confirm the rumor of the bears being instrumental in the downfall of several nations. At the moment, the confirmed destroyed nations are the following:”


The Democratic Republic of Relorin
The Queendom of Intellectuala
The Empire of Taun Taun
The Protectorate of BlueIceia
The Queendom of Crystal Dorm

”We do not have verification of Gardelain being the victim of polar bear predations at this time, and believe there was another cause for their disappearance.”

She pauses for a drink of water, and a deep sigh.

“We also confirm the rumor of Vastiva placing troops and workers in each of the five regions. We call this Operation: Polar Thunder. Our aims are simple. Foremost, rescue of any remaining living members of the overrun nations. At this time, we have a total recovery of approximately one hundred and thirty thousand from all five nations.”

A reporter coughs. “Could you repeat that figure?”

Nivia gives a brief nod. “One hundred and thirty thousand.”

“Each?”

“Very sorry. That is a total.”

“From five nations?”

She takes another drink. “Yes.”

“Five nations, with a sum population of over a billion people?”

Her gaze gets cold. “We are very aware of the numbers, ayid. Would that they were different, but at this time, that is what they are. And to the best of our knowledge, facts do not change because one wishes them to change.”

She stops and composes herself. “As a result of the predations, Vastiva has taken it upon herself to remove survivors and materials from the former nations. We are using highways already constructed in the region, or reinforced by our engineers. When we arrive in the former nation, our troops conduct pattern searches to remove all hostiles and to attempt to rescue any survivors. Once survivors are removed, workers move in to remove all materials from the area in an attempt to identify those ‘missing, presumed dead’. These are shipped back to Vastiva for processing. We also remove any partial bodies found, attempt to identify, and return to relatives at our cost, or perform Vastivan burial rites if no relative is known to exist.”

“So you are dismembering nations?”

“In the interest of security, yes. We are removing all areas where the bears could hide – recessed parking areas are being dynamited and sealed. Buildings are being stripped then brought down, the wreckage removed. Zoos are emptied, strays are brought to Vastiva for adoption by other families if their owners did not survive. This process is straining our ability to store materials, but we are finding it necessary as a control measure.”

“What are Vastiva’s plans for the materials taken?”

She sips from her water again. “What did belong to any survivor, or to the family or relatives of any survivor, is returned to that survivor to do with as they wish. What now belongs to no living individual is registered as reclaimed salvage, and stored. When our troops and engineers are finished with reclamation – and all survivors have their materials – all remaining materials are to be sold off or given as charity, as directed by our Sultan. This has included removal of composts, removal of landfills, removal of fallen buildings. This takes time, and manpower.

“We reiterate, this is an ongoing process – we have completed removal only of The Democratic Republic of Relorin; all others are still ongoing. This process has slowed construction and demolition in Vastiva – we have only a six month window for these processes, and must deploy accordingly. However, this situation requires more of our attention, and is for the protection of our region. As such, it has priority above most ventures.”

“Most?”

“Most. The refit and rearming of the Vastivan Armed Services continues, and has not been affected, by design.” She straightens her notes and looks out at the crowd. “At this time, we will entertain questions.”

An aide comes in and corrects the display.


The Democratic Republic of Relorin
The Queendom of Intellectuala
The Empire of Taun Taun
The Protectorate of BlueIceia
The Queendom of Crystal Dorm
The Grand Duchy of Polardia
The Traditional Land of Japanese Artica
The Dictatorship of Thornapplebison

Partial Transcripts from HSI listening devices in Sisu Arshu

“Our improvements with vapor-phase processes will allow the production of titanium alloy powders, at a very low cost.”

“How low?”

“Less then four crowns per kilogram. We have also incorporated a low-level plasma treatment in our steel production, increasing corrosion resistance from 2x to 5x – there is additional research ongoing to apply the same technology to other corrodible materials.”

...


“...compression molding methodologies we have been using to replace standard constructions, resulting in a net 60% drop in weight with no equivalent drop in structural integrity or functionality. We have also been preinserting subcomponents, such as wire harnesses, thermal conductivity inserts, flex circuits, and radiation shields. This still maintains the lowered weight.”

“What of replacements?”

“Once a mold is made, it can be used hundreds of thousands of times. And while creating a single mold by hand might take several days, our Autocam processes will allow our personnel to create a mold within a day, if not hours. As you can see here, we are using an ultrasonic fluid probe to monitor vibrations during high-speed machining, which will decrease wear and allow more optimum processes to be used, uniformly. Here, our access to Sileetris’ Superdatabase proved pivotal; simply creating an Autocam of this level of sophistication was unnerving. Yet here, as you see, the PYGMALION version is ready for installation aboard our ships.”

“Which ships?”

“Why, every ship in the fleet, if desired. With the lowering of need for carrying all sorts of spare parts, the internal design of our naval and space forces can be better used for… other purposes. Repairs become more a thing of the past – it is far easier to remove the faulty part, dump it into PYGMALION for reprocessing, and installing a new piece. This will fantastically cut our logistical support requirements.”

“Indeed. What of the new guidance systems?”

“Ah, yes. The QUASIT millimeter-wave imaging systems are entering final testing; we believe this will drastically increase the accuracy of our ballistic missile interceptors, as they are far less prone to signal jamming. QUASIT is preset to function in the 126 to 154 gigahertz range, but any range can be set through the use of heterodyne laser techniques. We do not even need to have the antennas near the base stations any longer – we have been able to achieve variances of thirty miles or so using fiber optic lines. This allows QUASIT to function as a “software radio”, increasing the range of possible transmission and reception frequencies without the need for metal waveguides. Combined with PYGMALION, it allows our missiles to home in on just about any signal – a flexibility unseen in most nations.

“Further, the use of adjustable optical wedges, our lasers can readjust without altering the position of the platform. In other words, we no longer need a turreted system for our MTHAL weaponry at all – just a projection port and our GALILEO system. The system itself is modular, again decreasing logistical support needed. What we have here is a superior weapons system, with less need for support and fewer parts to wear out. ARCHER and TOLLBOOTH will become all the more useful for the upgrades.”

“Indeed.”

...


"Well, yes, the new supercomputers did initially suffer from heat-dissipation problems, but through the use of electrohydrodynamic devices, we are able to remove up to 1250 watts of heat per square centimeter, by creating electric fields which cause the coolants to be spread so thin, evaporation is guaranteed. As the systems are completely sealed, owing to our molding process, the liquid perfluorinates need only be present in sufficient quantity to cool the units present and are completely sealed in microtubules, allowing capillary action to be a functional “non-pump”. This reduces exposure, and the need for replacement of coolant – making, in point of fact, each section completely self-contained and self-cooled as part of its normal operations. Again, these were due greatly to the information gathered from the Sileetris’ Superdatabase.”

...

“… acquired… a new composting method from New Holland, using a rotating cylinder and controlled thermal conditions. Each EJIM unit can process between three and six tons of biological material into usable compost within twenty-four hours, forty-eight if the Molecular Bonding Protocol is necessary, such as in reclaimed areas. This greatly increases our ability to process biological waste, with a reduction in needed area. As such, our water-treatment plants could be made to function at nearly 200% efficiency with the addition of only a few EJIM units per facility, to process the… harder materials reclaimed. At the moment, we use exposure and fermentation – by automating, we will remove time at no land cost.”

“None?”

~pause~

“Several EJIMs will fit in the area of a single reclamation tank. We reduce our total tanks by one, giving three to five EJIMs in their place. The staff increase is negligible.”

“In addition, we have completed testing on Sonoboards. As such, we can now create fiberboard molded sheets, created completely of post-consumer waste paper and wood products. The honeycomb design allows for good structural integrity, and the sonoboards are completely recyclable in their current design. Addition of polymer coatings for weather resistance would reduce this slightly… though perhaps not if the polymers were pretreated to break down rapidly in the presence of certain reclaimant chemicals…”

...

"....Lodisian, probably bought technology. My teams have begun work - it appears the help sections are still intact."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning we can download the help files first. Depending how complete they are, we could get a much better view of what we have here before we begin poking around."

Excerpted from a VNN Channel 722 broadcast


…sunbathing.

Elsewhere in the news, we have confirmation of the sinking of the Hippanoco, a freighter carrying a cargo of fruits, timber, and animal furs from Sisu Pangea to Vastiva, by a terrorist group calling itself Janus Bin Toto. At this time, it is believed the cargo is only a partial loss.

Fortunately, the freighter Sarasaprilla and its cargo of English cheeses was not accosted; distribution is still set for three days hence. We do not have confirmation on the whereabouts of the fleet headed by the Corbu due to a security blackout following the attack on the Hippanco.

We have been informed of over 50,000 combat troops being mobilized in Ottoman Khaif to perform security actions in preparation for the Hajj. Vastivan Cruise Lines has no reports of activity beyond what has been expected, but in view of the recent terrorist action, our Sultan has mobilized the 621st MP Brigade to aid in security. All passengers are expected to arrive two hours early to comply with security measures, no ticketed passenger will be left behind. Hajj minister Iyad Madani said more than 1.5 million pilgrims from 160 countries have already arrived, with an expected 89 million total for this year. Interior Ministry spokesman Brig. Gen. Mansour al-Turki said most of the forces will be deployed to "high-density areas," referring to a site in Mina, about six miles from Mecca, where pilgrims pelt rocks at a stone column depicting the devil. The site has witnessed several stampedes in previous years resulting in the deaths of hundreds.

Our Sultan also wishes to make clear, the Hajj is for Muslims to perform their religious rites and not a chance to reflect their political beliefs. He expects all Vastivans remember their actions within Ottoman Khaif reflect upon our Nation.

Bey Hans Weinstein announced a travel advisory for Kjik’Kjak, with those seeking to travel through the Gates now required to gain a pass from the office of the Bey, under safety ordinances. Bang Sticks are available at any armory; citizens traveling in the area are invited to hold heavier armaments as their travel requires.

Electrical power levels are stated to be higher then required, even in view of the higher then usual traffic upon the Taxobox Highway. At this time, the Ministry of Transportation has given no unusual advisories.

Unintentional injuries at home have become a major public health problem across our Nation, according to Public Health Agency -funded studies conducted at the Tibiak University Injury Prevention Research Center. “Within a seven year period, we found that an average of 18,048 unintentional home injury deaths occurred annually in Vastiva” said Dr. Arezou Gelsey al-Vashti, Doctor of Health Behavior and Education. “In addition, for last year alone, more than 12 million nonfatal unintentional injuries that required medical attention occurred at home. Falls, poisoning and burn injuries were the leading causes of such deaths at home”.

Vastiva has reached an “open skies” agreement with…

Another correction by the aide:


*The Democratic Republic of Relorin
*The Queendom of Intellectuala
*The Empire of Taun Taun
The Protectorate of BlueIceia
The Queendom of Crystal Dorm
The Grand Duchy of Polardia
The Traditional Land of Japanese Artica
The Dictatorship of Thornapplebison
The Republic of Orchomenos
The People's Republic of Duck Moss
The Incorporated States of Umbrella-Inc

* Areas santitized by Vastiva

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

...cherry pits.

In other news, VALOREC reported crude oil production has increased to eighty million barrels per day, in view of the recent additions of Alaskan oil fields to their sum possessions. They project a further 20% increase over the next five years as materials and equipment are moved into the colony to allow further...

a hand comes into the picture, holding a sheet which the anchorwoman reads, first annoyed, then horrified. She takes a moment to compose herself before facing the camera again.

Pardon, viewers, but I have just been informed the Vastivan Embassy in Greenmanbry has been confirmed as destroyed by what is believed to be a terrorist attack. At this time, no numbers are known.

Another correction by the aide:


*The Democratic Republic of Relorin
*The Queendom of Intellectuala
*The Empire of Taun Taun
The Protectorate of BlueIceia
The Queendom of Crystal Dorm
The Grand Duchy of Polardia
The Traditional Land of Japanese Artica
The Dictatorship of Thornapplebison
The Republic of Orchomenos
The People's Republic of Duck Moss
The Incorporated States of Umbrella-Inc
The Holy Republic of Episcopalia
The Borderlands of Mist and Fog
The Empire of The Light Heroes

* Areas santitized by Vastiva

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 news broadcast)

... kumquat harvest.

Vastiva has completed its shift from water-cooled reactors to the "meltdown proof" pebblebed designs. The last QNSR-5 design module was declared dismantled today, marking the end of the "nuclear nightmare" era for Vastiva.
Vastiva will now produce only the QNPR-6 and later designs for all its power needs.

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 broadcast)

... marbles.

General Riva Sola al-Din announed today the completion of the refit and rebuild of Vastiva's naval forces. At a demonstration run today, the VSS Fafin, Vastiva's first run of the new Fafin-class BBGN, demonstrated her superiority to most battleships of this era.

Several dozen eggs were the cause...

Nivia Alix von Cohen, Chief Herald to His Magnificence, the Sultan of Vastiva, straightens first her deep blue burnoose, then her glasses, and faces the crowd of international reporters.

Behind her, the LED screen changes again to take into account recent information.


*The Democratic Republic of Relorin
*The Queendom of Intellectuala
*The Empire of Taun Taun
*The Protectorate of BlueIceia
The Queendom of Crystal Dorm
The Grand Duchy of Polardia
The Traditional Land of Japanese Artica
The Dictatorship of Thornapplebison
The Republic of Orchomenos
The People's Republic of Duck Moss
The Incorporated States of Umbrella-Inc
The Holy Republic of Episcopalia
The Borderlands of Mist and Fog
The Empire of The Light Heroes
The Rogue Nation of Southern-Antarctica

*areas sanitized by Vastiva


"We now place the death toll at between six point three, and nine billion individuals, due to the bear predations. Sanitization operations have been slowed somewhat, but Vastiva is currently working on removing refugees from the Borderlands of Turnya, The Community of Divine Panda, and The Protectorate of Hammerite Sanctur. At the moment, these areas are still viable, but bear predations have been reported, and we are responding to calls for aid and assistance.

"We suspect the demise of The Kingdom of Icebergland was climatic, not Polar Bear related. We also do not believe the disappearance of "Legolas and Gimli"was due to bear activity.

"Vastiva is, however, continuing its project of removing remnants and survivors, and santizing abandoned areas in an attempt to deprive the bears of food and shelter. As you will note, it is slow going - we have removed all structures and closed subterranian areas in only four former nations, from a list of fifteen. When we began, that list was only seven long. The bears are proving to be far better at destroying then we are at removing their safe areas."

A reporter raises her hand then stands. "What areas is Vastiva currently in operation in?"

"At this time, Vastivan Engineering units are operating in The Holy Republic of Episcopalia. Reconaissance is ongoing in the other areas."

The reporter continued. "Will Vastiva require aid in these operations?"

Nivia straightened her glasses. "At this time, we cannot and do not ask for aid in these operations. We have asked our regional allies to concentrate on hunting down these dangerous animals."

"Will there be weapons of mass destruction used?"

"Due to our climate," Nivia gave a slight smile, "most WMDs are useless in our region. Nuclear weapons were considered and discarded as a possibility by the regional council. At this time, we are using bombing raids, aerial hunting parties, and artillery strikes. It is obviously, less then effective."

Another reporter stood. "How many bears do you believe there to be in Antarctica at this time?"

"Our rough estimate is half a billion bears."

Vastiva gives her official stance on the "World Anti-Communist League"

After the reporters of the world are assembled, a curtain draws back, revealing a plasma screen. The darkness is slowly pierced by several short films of various members of the WACL - sound bytes are heard. As each is given, the words appear on the screen.



"With the furtherance of the so-called Civil Rights movement and supposed and alleged global human rights, maintaining the fallacy of world cultural equality, debasing the Mississippian and other whites to the level of the cannibalistic African negro, we are reminded of something, communism... That pathetic system that attempts to make all artificially equal by beating the superiors into a position lower than nature has intended for them, thus making the great men equal of the lesser men by forcing the great men down to the same levels of the lesser men."

"To stop this plague of communism, we propose the creation of the World Anti-Communist League. Racist and non-racist nations may apply, the main this is that the nations be devoutly anti-communist and willing to oppose communism wherever and whenever it rears its ugly head."



We will make efforts to rid this world of communists no matter what the race of the red are.

Czar Sam Fabus


Enemies List / Those we should target for coups / regimes that need to be toppled or overthrown:

Hamptonshire, Sarzonia, Praetonia, Artitsa (who consider suppressing dissent 'abusing human rights')


When the last is done, from the wings comes the Chief Herald of Vastiva, Nivia Alix von Cohen. She takes to the podium, straightens her glasses - giving a short self-effacing half bow as she does - and begins to speak.

“Welcome.

“It has become apparent to Vastiva that this ‘anti-communist league’ is truly nothing more then a manner in which the small can attempt to make some sort of noise they believe the strong should pay attention to.

“As is evident from the references on the board behind me, this ‘league of small nations’ is nothing more then a pack of wannabe bullies, intent on attacking nations they see as dangers to their personal views of themselves. One look at their ‘list of enemies’ shows they do not oppose Communism – they oppose their betters. We would say ‘their personal honor’, but it is readily apparent they have none to be endangered.

“At this time, our Sultan predicts this band of racists shall come to their own swift end, as their goal is not to rid the world of anything save that which exposes them as what they are – nothing.

“The evidence of their hypocrisy is plain. Our course, equally so.

“Vastiva therefore places itself on their ‘enemies’ list; we are enforcing a complete embargo upon each of those nations where our businesses are concerned, and shall consider any attempts to broach our possessions as hostile acts. We accept no trade from them, we accept no communications from them, we hear no excuses, no speeches, none of their attempts to justify their vigilance of hate in the name of “defeating Communism”.

“In short, we leave them as they are – a pile of self-deluded excrement, slowly decaying, and smelling rather rank to boot.”

A reporter wearing the blue jacket of the DNS raises her hand.
What does Vastiva think of such nations that are not in the WACL but do oppose communism? Nations such as Dumpsterdam that actively oppose spreading communism through foreign intervention, believing that such spreading of communism should be stopped with extreme force?

OoC: So I won't invade a country where there's a people's revolt because the people want communism but I will invade a country where foreign powers are involved. Just to clear it up a bit and I'm bored and I need a pet from Vastiva.

A reporter wearing the blue jacket of the DNS raises her hand.
What does Vastiva think of such nations that are not in the WACL but do oppose communism? Nations such as Dumpsterdam that actively oppose spreading communism through foreign intervention, believing that such spreading of communism should be stopped with extreme force?

OoC: So I won't invade a country where there's a people's revolt because the people want communism but I will invade a country where foreign powers are involved. Just to clear it up a bit and I'm bored and I need a pet from Vastiva.

Nivia straightened her glasses before replying.

"Such things are decided on a case-by-case basis, though for the most part the affairs of other nations are not the concern of Vastiva. For the record, Vastiva is a Capitalist nation and we hold no particular view towards or against nations which embrace communism. Or those who resist it."

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 broadcast)

... Hospitals.

It is with a heavy heart Vastiva announced the annexing of what was formerly the Hammerite Sanctur colony on the continent of Manium. Apparently their system collapsed under heavy internal pressure.

Owing to the nature of the treaty between the two colonies, Vastiva accepts the burden of caring for the people of the failed colony.

Egg futures...

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 broadcast)

...windsocks.

Our Sultan announced today the establishment of a two-hundred billion USD economic aid package to the besieged nation of Tree Hugging Lesbians. The funding - part in direct aid, part in merchandise and equipment - would be arriving over the next four months as part of Vastiva's treaty commitment to the nation of Tree Hugging Lesbians.

Bagpipes were again the center of discussion....

Any pirate satellite signals or illicit materials coming into Christac will be seen as an act of war. Please do not start this.

Simon Hughes
Temp. Head of State
Christac

"Yes, keep smuggling. The profits are just too good to miss. Feed them through Allanea, they'll never suspect us. Besides, anyone stupid enough to go through Allanea deserves the mugging they get."

***

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 broadcast)

... laughing too hard.

Profits from print and VR pornography sales in the third quarter increased by an unprecedented 63.7% following the exporation of vast quantities to the recently recivilized nation of Allanea. Precise reasons for this increase were not available at broadcast time, but we do have a quote from our correspondant in TIoR:


w00t!


Gambling increases across the nation, particularly in "sckritchies" have been the subject of...

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

...tomato juice.

A class five tropical storm has been plotted to intercept and pass over our colony on Manium. The full effects of this storm may have, considering the size of the landmass, are as much supposition as mathematics. However, all citizens of the colony are requested to remain indoors and to make proper preparations for the storms passage.

Vitamin C was the topic of....

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

… tree squirrels.

Officials from the Sisu Arshu Launch Site have announced they are completing delivery of payloads to the Tudrussel station required to construct the first flight of “collector satellites” planned.

Dubbed the “Larry 3000s”, these ESats are designed to go into orbit around our planet rather then remaining in geostationary orbit. Unlike other satellites, the Larry 3000 series is designed not to avoid the morass of debris and abandoned satellites in orbit, but rather to use various means to collect all available debris into and attached to the satellite itself. Upon reaching the location of Tudrussel, these collectors will be drawn in, cleaned of all their debris, and sent on another sweep. Aboard Tudrussel, the debris will be recycled, cleaned, and used as raw materials or converted to other uses aboard the station. That which cannot be recycled will be sent into a direct decaying orbit, to burn up in the upper atmosphere.

Through the use of the Larry 3000 system, Vastiva plans to remove up to 70% of the unusable detritus which pollutes the equatorial orbit belt, and up to 56% of other nonfunctional and random waste currently in various orbital patterns.

The VAA wishes it to be made clear, the Larry 3000s will not make any attempt to coerce or interfere with working satellites or other orbiting objects; their sole purpose is to aid in the removal of orbiting clutter.

Work continues on the Osworth construction gantry; officials report once completed, the gantry will be used in the building in orbit of “Otto-1”, Vastiva’s first interplanetary attempt. According to early releases of the mission plans, Otto-1 is to be sent to the moon, there to drop robot landers for a variety of experiments, then to return.

At this time, there are no plans for a manned mission.

Dancing chickens…

(copied from this thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=406324&page=2) )

Nivia Alix von Cohen once more ascends to the podium. She nods once to the international press before reading her statement.

“Ab-shalom and greetings to the members of the international community. Be it known,
with the retirement of Badria Nazanin al-Dalal to private life, the last of the harem of the prior Sultan has been properly… retired.

“As such, Vastiva is announcing to the International Community its desire to add new members to our Sultan’s harem.”

This caused something of a stir.

“It behooves us to mention, as we wish this made clear: these positions are not simply of… accompaniment, but of escort, and often are advisory positions. Those within the harem are oft privy to the inner workings of Vastiva, and no few of our Sultan’s have used advice taken from members of the harem to shape policy – nationally, regionally, and internationally.

“We further ask that the international community not restrict their understandings to the law that a position in the harem is for life. Consider the tale of Francesca Berenstein al-Dalal, who “retired” first to the position of diplomatic ambassador to the Ottoman Khaif Empire then to British Morocco, and even now stands as our Vizier of International Activities. Then there are those such as Badria who have retired to a more private life, and they are of course welcome to do so with the full blessing of the Sultan. It is a position understood to be the last served in – though this, as is obvious, is not always the case.”

She shuffles her notes, and rubs her eyes once. “Your pardon.”

“Applications are available from our governmental website, and can be forwarded to the office of the Grand Vizier. We ask that they be as complete as possible for initial review. If selected as a potential candidate, the applicant shall be flown to Vastiva for further testing and interviews.”

A reporter raises a hand. “How many positions are open?”

Nivia cracks a smile. “It is unknown how many will be filled in total. The chambers of the harem are fifty-one in number. Traditionally, five of those are restricted to membership by Vastivan citizens only.” She looks a bit uncomfortable as she continues: “Were there more questions?”

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 broadcast)

… curfews have been called and will be enforced throughout the coastal area.

At this time, Candidate Semiu Adenaji is listed in critical but stable condition. Her two escorts will receive burial with full honors. Of the other victims of the blast, two remain hospitalized, nine were treated and released pending further questioning.

No additional fatalities were recorded.

Major Abdus-Sabour ibn Jokela of Gardemeister Air Customs Security issued the following statement:


We assure all citizens and foreign travelers, all elements of our security forces are on alert and we have neutralized the three individuals responsible for the attempted missile attack on the conveyance of Candidate Shizuka Kamigawa. Our perimeter has been reinforced and the breech has been closed. Additional troops from Nassanuella have been brought in to secure the larger perimeter.

At this time, we are still researching the identities of the two suicide bombers responsible for the attack on Candidate Adenaji. We expect arrests within the hour.


At this time, we advise all travelers from Vastiva to give themselves an additional hour to pass through security. Autogyros have been banned from the security perimeter for the time being.

Baseball fans will be happy…

Internal VAS Memo

With the coming of sunset, all vessels not undersea and/or in for refit and/or large scale repairs shall be deployed to colonial and/or friendly waters.

Air and ground assets will be redeployed according to standard protocols.

General Riva Sola al-Din

(excerpted from an announcement by the Herald's)

...we further assure all within hearing, there has been no decision to the best of our knowledge, on the matter of the assemblage of the Harem. We shall indeed endeavor to keep all informed as quickly as possible, but we do add, these things do indeed take time....

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 newscast)

...Indigo.

Travel advisories remain in effect for all those travelling to or from Vastiva in response to the sudden strange weather patterns affecting the region. All air and sea travel has been suspended indefinitely, and travellers are urged to make full use of public transportation rather then risk the use of private cars.

Our Sultan does ask all to consider their choices, and has decreed all public transportation systems to be "gratis" for the period of this weather systems continuance.

CURRENT WEATHER
TEMP: -146 C
WINDS: FROM THE SOUTH, 84 TO 90 KNOTS
PRECIPITATION ACCUMULATION: 78 CM IN THE LAST HOUR
TOTAL ACCUMULATION:
326.4 CM WITHIN THE LAST WEEK
338.1 CM SINCE SUNSET

Root beer sales continued to plummet among rumors of...

"If I may ask..."

Said a man as he pushed a few others aside.

"What is Vastiva's opinion on the recent Tocrowkian-Guffingfordian war?"

Nivia shrugged. "It is no great secret Vastiva holds no love for Guffingford, and has delivered a rather sizable sum in economic aid to Tocrowkia in order that they may continue their fight. As to the relationship between Tocrowkia and Vastiva, it is known Tocrowkia did send a candidate for the Sultan's Harem. "

She gives a slight bow. "We leave you to draw your own conclusions from that."

A man wearing a dark tuxedo with the Umbrella logo pinned onto his breast pocket walked through the people. He was here to ask Questions, maybe Vastiva did not know his Corporations past. Maybe they could even secure a branch, that was what he was here for.

"What policy, if any, does Vastiva have on the Umbrella Corporation?"

He asked.

"None at the moment, though we are always happy to... modify that view."

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 Evening Broadcast)

...penguin marriages.

The Department of Peace released a statement today, confirming rumors of Vastivan forces fighting alongside Dumpsterdam troops in defense of Feline Catfish....

~stops reading aloud, reads the rest to himself~

Is this for real? It is? Alright.

...in defense of the nation of Feline Catfish against a so-called "Coalition". The tiny nation was threatened with extinction and responded to the threat with a slurry of nuclear-tipped missiles. At this time, it is unknown how many of Vastiva's nuclear fleet...

We're sure this is true, right? I mean... Dumpsterdam?

... nuclear fleet are moving into strike positions around "coalition" force nations. At this time, weather conditions are still protecting our nation, and General Riva Sola al-Din personally assures all citizens our defense umbrella is intact, and functional.

*cough* Sales of Birch Beer reached an all time high following...

Dumpsterdam???

...following rumors of market shortages, confirmed as false by....

[Taken from DNS broadcast]

...the Royal Navy Headquarters in Tallarn has still not commented on a possible situation where the SD "Titan" and its accompaying escorts are supporting NATO forces and more in specific, Vastivan troops around the nation of Feline Catfish.

The Senate and the Imperial Councill have called an emergency meeting to figure out how the behemoths that where originaly designed to counter threats such as the "Sentinel" class are now supporting what they where supposed to deter or destroy.

However, we have few words from the Lady Admiral Raditz concering the situation: "I am sure that any support towards NATO would be completely unintentional and I can assure you that we will not take the threat that they pose any lighter should this be true."

Grand Admiral Ulas could not be reached for commentary but RWC representatives are already voicing concerns due to Dumpsterdam's latest lackluster stance towards NATO...

International Red Crescent Organization – Vastiva
Est: 2005
Headquarters: Sisu Vaari, Vastiva
Contact: Minister of Health and Medicine Dr Kuzma Maksimivich
Type: (Undergoing reorganization)
Aid Available: Food, potable water, medical supplies, shelters, refugee camps, transportation from hazard sites, NBC cleanup, UNWODC-related intervention, minor economic support (short term only)

Vastiva has recently decreed the reorganization of the Humanitarian Intervention department of the Ministry of Health and Medicine into the IRCO/Red Globe auspices. Regardless of the leadership of the eventual organization, this organization is funded just over 300 billion USD per annum for charitable humanitarian intervention in any country which requests aid. This does not include military intervention, though the VAS does provide light armored vehicles if required, and does service the C-71 Progeny transport aircraft and MH-609 Pony helicopters used by this organization at no cost to the organization; it also maintains the six Cadecus hospital ships currently under IRCO flag in the region.

The IRCO is allowed to provide for temporary “medical intervention” Visas into Vastiva and it’s territories, though this power is under review.

(Headline and excerpts from The Vaari Vanguard)

Forty-Eight Remain?

... intimate sources within the Palace report the total numbers of candidates have been culled from one-hundred and ninety-seven down to a startling forty-eight. As it is well known the Hareem contains chambers for fifty-one, it is widely questioned what this dwindling means. Could it be, our Sultan has another three in mind to fill the last positions? Or perhaps there are still passages unrevealed within the diplomatic agreements Vastiva has with either regional or international trade partners - it was such which brought Belle Madello of Tree-Hugging Lesbians (see related story, page A12) into our nation and into the running - which shall be enforced at a later time?...

As it is not officially known which of the candidates have been culled, betting and rumor remain rampant. What is known is the Voltarum's candidate, Lady Neira Vektori has not been seen returning to her native land, reassuring many she is indeed a "sure thing". (continued, page A6)

(Excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

... longest running show in history. Good luck to them!

VAS public relations officers confirmed Vastiva has been granted land and space for the construction of a naval supply base in the besieged land of Feline Catfish. The base - to be named "Traada Clariidae" - will be completed within two years, and is said to contain an airfield, refuelling docks, and a minor R&R facility. It is also believed at this time the base will be used for trade between Vastiva and Feline Catfish, though this has not been confirmed.

Fleet Admiral Ishtar Mesfin al-Din had these comments.


We of the Eighth Fleet are extremely happy to learn of this land grant, as it will make it that much easier to maintain our defensive posture around Feline Catfish for as long as they deem necessary. We are most happy for this action, and certainly see it as a step forward in Catfish-Vastivan diplomacy.


The VAS also announced today it would be replacing much of it's Ohio class fleet with the newer Excalibur and Slinger class vessels. No word as yet as to the eventual disposition of the older vessels.

The winner of this year's Pillsbury Bake-Off...

(from the business section)

Vastiva is ranked 1st in the region and 459th in the world for Largest Basket Weaving Sector... ranked 1st in the region and 819th in the world for Largest Cheese Export Sector... 2nd in the region and 990th in the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector... 3rd largest GDP in Antarctica, though not in the top 50% for population... exchange rate [ 1 PC = 2.7183 USD ]




OOC: We so rock.... :D

From Here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8856482&postcount=15)

***

(Broadcast on V-SPAN Channel 3009, afternoon broadcast following the 65-28 victory in Full Contact Chess of the Azore Anacondas over the Spanish Flies)


And with that – could it be… yes! YES! The REF declares checkmate as the paramedics are pulling Brewster off the field!

Let’s hear it for the Anaconda’s!

~wild cheering!~

That’s right, sports fans! If it involves ball, bat, or blade, you’ll see it here on V-SPAN, Channel 3009 – which is also the number of sports we’re covering!

What, not enough for you? Alright – listen in, fans, because we’re only going to be saying this… a couple of hundred times an hour!

In an exclusive contract with Blood Moon Goblins, V-SPAN has acquired sole broadcast rights – that’s right, you heard it here first and spit on VNN! – V-SPAN has acquired sole broadcast rights for the entire Goblinball season! That’s right, if you want to see goblins, if you want to see blood, if you want to see guts, if you want to see what all the hype is about - you have to see it here, first, LIVE and in FULL STEREO SURROUNDSOUND (where available)!

We’ve gone to the trouble of constructing six – that’s right SIX – Goblinball arenas, complete with the latest in high-tech armor plating, Tri-D cameras, surroundsound pickups, and each with no fewer then seven dine in buffet restaurants – all just so YOU could watch GOBLINBALL on V-SPAN!!!

BE HERE – OR BE LUNCH!

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

... nail polish remover.

In other words, a record four hundred and fifty thousand tons of auto scrap were delivered this week to holdings in Hamptonshire and Schultaria Prime, raising the local cost of scrap by twenty PC per ton. A spokesman for the local recycling works made it clear, this was a one time purchasing series, and should not be considered a long term set of events.

Three further shipments are scheduled for this week.

Skeletal replicas stolen from...

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

... bird wraps.

Spokespeople for the VAA announced today the Osworth gantry ontop the Tudrussel orbital platform has been completed; tomorrow, May 26th, will mark the first launch of the parts which will make up Vastiva's Otto-1 space launch, slated to be completed within six months time.

At this time, the eventual mission of Otto-1 has not been disclosed, though rumor centers on the moon or Mars as probable targets.

With the confirmation of a new monarchy in power in IDF, our Sultan allowed any of the refugees from that land who wished to be transported to Schultaria Prime, there to be airlifted back to their native land. Approximate 84% of the twenty-eight thousand...

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 broadcast)

... deer slugs.

The NATO Warlympics continue. Day one has concluded; for the Manual of Arms presentations, DPUO has the Gold medal, Schultaria Prime the Silver, and Greenmanbry and Inkana receiving the Bronze with a tightly tied score. Vastiva scored tenth, with the comment of "not enough explosions", though many did enjoy the scantilly clad dancing girls.

Concrete futures...

A tall fattish man stood. He shuffled some papers in his hands before finally just throwing them into the air and catching those that floated down.

"Sorry about that. Herman Toggo of the Big Press Bunnies Limited Newspaper. Anyways how do you feel about the massive influx of Camel Eaters pornography into this region of the world? And do you expect to see any economic repercussions because of it? Also do you have any opinion on the recent motion put before the Great Moot about possible cheese exportation to Vastiva? Also are you free this Friday night?"

A tall fattish man stood. He shuffled some papers in his hands before finally just throwing them into the air and catching those that floated down.

"Sorry about that. Herman Toggo of the Big Press Bunnies Limited Newspaper. Anyways how do you feel about the massive influx of Camel Eaters pornography into this region of the world? And do you expect to see any economic repercussions because of it? Also do you have any opinion on the recent motion put before the Great Moot about possible cheese exportation to Vastiva? Also are you free this Friday night?"

Nivia straightens her glasses on her nose. "Pornography or any other form of print does not threaten us in any way - free press and free market mean just what they say. We expect no reprocussion, particularly in the long term, on Vastiva but do not have anything against Camel Eaters for 'making a buck' in Vastiva.

"As is well known, Vastiva invites all cheese imports.

"And no comment."

Country: The Sultanate of Vastiva
Population: 1.98 billion
GDP: $226.8 trillion
GDP Per Capita: $42,146.87
Active Military: 13,860,000
Portion of Population: 0.7%
Military Spending: $11.6 trillion
Portion of GDP: 5.1%
Spending Per Active Soldier: $839,160.30
Military Nature: Defensive
Infrastructure: Excellent
Logistics Support: Excellent
Experience: Low
Training: Good
Equipment: Excellent

"....current index is rather empty. Our biggest prior threat, Dumpsterdam, has become rather quiescent of late. As such, we are on watch, but find no great need for heightened alert levels."
"What of the rest of the Brimstone combatants?"
"Macabees is effectively neutral. Safehaven2 and Zarbia appear to have moved away from any posture we might consider threatening. Indeed, with the cessation of hostilities came the cessation of threat - there simply aren't any with a serious ability to worry us who are currently rattling any sabers."
"I see. What of the situation in the Netherlands Antilles?"

The heavy dutch accented voice of the CNS reporter mingeld in with the rest of the voices.

"Indeed, what does Vastiva think of the Netherlands Antilles under the authority of the Empire, surely there must be something that doesn't appeal?"

OOC: Methinks we're talking about two different ones, as that one has been under Vastivan economic authority for some time. Ah, NSEarth...

Country: The Sultanate of Vastiva
Population: 1.98 billion
GDP: $226.8 trillion
GDP Per Capita: $42,146.87
Active Military: 13,860,000
Portion of Population: 0.7%
Military Spending: $11.6 trillion
Portion of GDP: 5.1%
Spending Per Active Soldier: $839,160.30
Military Nature: Defensive
Infrastructure: Excellent
Logistics Support: Excellent
Experience: Low
Training: Good
Equipment: Excellent

Of note: Vastiva's Navy concentrates on submarines for international operations, using only a small number of huge fleets for these operations as needed. These fleets base out of NATO ports, or from allied ports, or from treaty naval bases. This makes Vastiva's international protocol "reach out and slap someone". When a larger fleet is required, they are given free reign of response.

They operate no SuperDrednaughts, and consider the appearance of these vessels in their waters as an "Act of War with WMDs".

ALL of Vastiva's infantry is mechanized due to climate considerations. This results in a much higher maintenance and fuel cost, but much higher maneuverability.

Vastiva operates approximately 150% to 200% of the artillery of other nations, using both SPA and towed. It can afford horrendous numbers of shells to be thrown at the enemy, and does so with abandon. It considers soldiers less expendable then shells. It also has no compunctions about using it's ACRATHERM-II weaponry (vaporous thermate) on targets to achieve its goals.

As yet, Vastiva's victories (flawless record) have fit into one of two categories. The first is the "overwhelming punch in the mouth", the second is "mobile warfare".

OOC: Vastiva could better be compared to the Austrailian Army then the US Army in basic psychology of warfare.

(excerpted from "Vizier's Round Table", channel 3212)

"No, at the moment, Vastiva has no slums, no youth gangs, no money troubles, no organized crime. We see these as symptoms of a nation which is attempting to live beyond it's means, which has forgotten many - and forced them to attempt to live under adverse conditions. The rich then get all they want, and the rest are left to live with nothing. When this happens, they begin piling up in the only places left to them, their children get completely out of hand, all of that section of humanity scrabbling for any scrap or crumb - because that is all that is left, and it's never enough to go around.

"Vastiva, instead, has prosperity, a stable economy. We have a national banking concern able to loan money to new businesses, new ventures - which it does with surprising ease. As a result, we ship icebergs daily to the young nation of YGSM - at a profit. Our shipping fleet approaches over a million vessels - and many of them are owned and operated privately. We have the entire SeaHouse projects running on time, and well enough to house hundreds of thousands.

"No, in short, Vastiva is in no danger of collapse - we are on the high end of the planet, and we plan on staying here."

(Miscellaneous Headlines, 6/20 thru 6/24)


Business Truck Purchases, Imports Up 74%

VALOREC Exports Up
"Will exceed 18 billion bpd in fiscal 2005" says CFO.

Record Gains in Used Car, Parts Exports

Herring 11th Largest Export!
Concern for long term availability "unfounded" say experts

Steel Exports Boom Amid South African Building Spree
Miners see record bonuses, holidays

Vastivan Surgeons Perform First Micropulse Post-Retinal Non-Invasive Surgery
Holoacoustic Imagery proves worth the investment

Pelswick Set to Launch, Deploy.
VAA, UNOG "ecstatic" at potential for scientific advancement.

(excerpted from VNN Channel 722 evening broadcast)

".... racers were last seen accellerating towards the Pingu boarder. Highway Patrol reports they are still in 'hot pursuit'.

It is with regret we must acknowledge the disruption of our allied nation, Nova Hope, under significant internal pressure. It is not known at this time how many of the 2.672 billion estimated population will be able to be evacuated to Vastiva; what is known is the assurance by Caliph Shamshan that the Vastivan colony of Sisu Arshu has taken on protective measures over the people of the Noviet colony on Manium.

It is tragic for this to occur even as a joint Noviet-Vastivan effort removes the last vestiges of Red Fever from this part of the continent. Yet we shall remain committed to our treaty obligations with Nova Hope, and will do our best to support the people of this colony even as their homeland... collapses into anarchy... sorry, please...

With the rapidly approaching twenty-fifth anniversary of PacMan approaching, civic leaders announced a marathon competition will be held in...

OOC: What are acceptable questions at the moment?

OOC: *looks at you oddly* This is a news thread, intersecting with the occasional news briefings and conferences given by my Chief Herald, Nivia Alix von Cohen. It's rather constant and ongoing as the old granny loves to talk. Interspersed are bits from my various news sources (VNN, for example) and small intelligence bits which go public now and again.

So, in short, asking most anything is appropriate, though there are limits on what Nivia knows and says.

OOC: Well, I had no idea if the press conference was still going on.

IC: Excuse me Miss Nivia, but I have a question regarding international relations. What is Vastiva's stance regarding the nation of Zatarack?

"Vastiva is always open to beginning trade and diplomatic relations with any nation desirous of such. We do realize, on a planet such as ours, there will always be a myriad number of nations we are often unaware of for long periods of time - some, even, from birth to demise we hear nothing. However, Vastiva remains an open nation in this respect - we will deal with most anybody."