NationStates Jolt Archive

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Hawk: Welcome to Fox Chicago, I'm your host Ken "Hawk" Harrelson here with my partner Darrin Jackson

DJ: Hey, we're here to cover the Chicago elections. It's a 4 way race right now.

Hawk: OUr 4 candidates are incumbant, the Honorable Richard M. Daley, Republican challenger , da coach, Mike Ditka, Independant Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, and joke candidate Steve Bartman.

My pick to click here is Ozzie Guillen, of course that is because I'm the announcer of the club. Jay Moronotti, our city's BSer and spinmast will go with Bartman.

DJ: I'll be going with Ditka as my pick to click.

Hawk: Sit back relax and hunker down folks.

the candidates

Mayor Richard M. Daley, corrupt mob favorite and incumband Democrat. His only redeeming value is he is a Sox fan who wants to tear down Wrigley
http://www.chipublib.org/003cpl/onebook_night/images/daley.jpg

Mike Ditka, DA COACH!, a chicago favorite who brought us a Super Bowl. People want to give him a job after moron McCaskey fired him. DITKA! Here is what his fans said on a talk show.

http://grego_3434.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/91gsuperfans1.jpg
Bill: Hey, I'm Bill Schwerski here for my brother Bob who's recovering from his most recent heart attack! We are the Superfans live on WGN from Ditka's restaurant in Chicago. Our topic is the election where Ditka, the coach of..

ALL: THE BEARS

Bill: is running for Mayor. What are your predictions

Todd: I say 5.5 million votes Ditka, other guys get 3. (falls over hitting chest)

Bill: What's wrong Todd?

Matt: What's wrong

Todd: nothing, just having a heart attack

Bill: How many is that?

TOdd: Oh that'll be about a baker's dozen

[ends show clip]

http://www.umass.edu/rso/aepi/pledge%20names/ditka.jpg

Ozzie Guillen 1st year manager of the Sox, doing a good job

http://www.azstarnet.com/ss/2004/02/23/11104-1.jpg

Steve Bartman joke candidate

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Hawk: welcome to election coverage special on Fox Sports net and covered on WCIU the U. We 1st off would like to thank our affiliates at AT&T cable in Valparaiso Indiana, Valparaiso YES!

DJ: It appears that joke candidate and former Flub fan Steve Bartman has taken an early lead. Ditka is close behind and may win.

Now onto sports.

Hawk: a downer at the Cell today before a 38,500 sellout crowd (I was there in RL and am pissed) as the Sox drop the opener of the series against he Twins. Buehrle takes the mound after a 2 hit shutout last week in Cleveland. Buehrle gave us 4 ERs in 6 1/3 innings of work and get the loss now at 10-4. The Sox lose 6-2, their offense from Homers off of Paul Konerko and rookie Joe Borchardt.

DJ: Here is a clip from the game.


'Hawk: the 1st pitch to Paulie from Radke. Wayyyy BACK! get up-stretch. Lew Ford looks up, YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD YEEEESSSSS!!!!!

As much as I like Bartman and the Oz, I gotta go with DA COACH!

If Oz had ordered Mike Jackson to bean Torii Hunter in response to his intentional collission with JAmie Burke tonight he'd get my vote. I may vote for him if he has Freddy bean the dumb SOB. (I was also there, what section and I'm sure you'll agree with me on the whole Burke-Hunter thing.) I lost my voice there yelling at Mike Jackson, who is the worst pitcher on the staff yelling stuff like get on a ****ing bus and go to Charlotte (home of the Sox AAA minor league team)

I like the Hawk and DJ touch along with the "Superfans" too bad Farley is dead or SNL could do something funny about the Senate race. you forgot to mention the dictator in Daley and tearing up Meigs along with mob connections

This is clearly a godmode! A Republican canidate for Chicago Mayor? Pfft. :p

I want to do a write in for Rich Koz, dammit!

http://www.cinefantastico.com/terroruniversal/imagen/sonsveng.jpg
Svengoolie for Mayor!