NationStates Jolt Archive


SemiOOC: WAAMA produces, distributes warranty card

Western Asia
26-07-2004, 20:16
I thought that it was about time that NS manufacturers/distributors caught up with the real world...so I present to you the WAAMA Warranty! (I think this is the right place).

Western Asian Arms Manufacturing Association Warranty Card

LAND - SEA - AIR - BEYOND
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Important! Important!

Please fill out and mail this card within 1 financial quarter of purchase.

Thank you for purchasing a Western Asian Arms Manufacturing Association military product. In order to protect your new investment and to improve our service, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Citizen _High Inquisitor _Lord Protector _King _Queen _Emperor _Empress _Viceroy _President _Prime Minister _Elentari _God _Goddess _Classified _Dark Lord _Leader of the People _Other (please specify):________

First Name____________________ Initial____ Last Name_______________________ Suffix:___

Domain or Sought Domain (if insurgent) _____________

Latitude______________________ Longitude_________________________________

Altitude______________________ Region__________________

2. What kind of product did you purchase?
Land
_Ground Vehicle _Personal (Infantry) Weapon _Crew-served Weapon _Artillery System _Tank _APC _VIP vehicle _Bunker System
_Other(Please Specify):________

Sea
_Carrier _Warship _Transport/Logistical Ship _Small [Patrol/Strike] Craft _Submarine _Remotely Operated/Autonomous Vehicle _Landing Craft _Intelligence Gathering Vessel
_System Installation/Fitting _Other (Please Specify):________

Air
_Strike Fighter _Strategic Bomber/Missile Carrier _Transport Plane _Attack Helicopter _Transport Helicopter _Transport Airship _GATEKEEPER Airship _Passenger Jet _Transatmospheric Craft _Other(Please Specify):________

Beyond (Other)
_Missile _Ammunition _Infrastructure Support and Services _Private Military Services
_Private Logistical Services _Classified(Please include Receipt Identification Number):______

3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

4. Receipt Identification Number:_______________

5. Serial Number (if applicable, attach extra sheets):____________________

6. Please check where this product was purchased:

_Received as Gift/Aid Package: __From USWA __From other Government/Group
_Peace for Arms/Diplomatic Negotiations
_Catalog/Showroom
_Sleazy Arms Broker/Black Market (may be a violation of warranty)
_Mail Order
_Discount Store/Authorized Reseller
_Government Surplus
_Classified

7. Please check how you became aware of the WAAMA product you have just purchased:

_Heard loud noise, looked around/up/down
_Store Display
_Espionage
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by Manufacturer
_Allied service with the USWA
_Was attacked by one
_Ally was attacked by one
_Enemy was attacked by one
_Captured in combat

8. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this WAAMA product:

_Style/Appearance
_Kickback/Bribe
_Recommended by salesperson
_Speed/Maneuverability
_Comfort/Convenience
_Ease of Use/Replacement/Upkeep
_WAAMA Reputation
_USWA Military/IDF Reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Price/Value
_Back-Room Politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat

9. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

_Talderanore
_Arda
_The Heartland
_Aperin
_Next Knootian Political Upheaval
_Next Russian Forces/ex-GDODAD War
_World War (Please specify which):___
_Invasion of Syskeyia
_Misc. Elvish/Catgirl Countries
_N00b Countries/Operation: Smackdown, pars ___
_Aircraft Carrier/Gravship
_At home (civil war/rebel insurgency/riot suppression)
_Classified

10. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

Product Own Intend to purchase/acquire
_Color TV _VCR
_ICBM _Killer Satellite
_CD Player _Aircraft-launched Missiles
_Space Shuttle/Plane _I.G.N.O.R.E. Cannon
_Home Computer _Plasma Rifle
_Nuclear Weapon _Aircraft Carrier
_Refridgerator _Gravship
_Private Militia

11. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

_Communist/Socialist/Neither but not Capitalist, dagnabbit!
_Terrorist Group (as listed by more than 3 nations)
_Rebel Insurgency/Guerilla Force
_Religious Leader/Cult Figure
_Fascist/Nazi (psuedo-Christian)
_Fascist/Nazi (Other)
_Neutral
_Capitalist/Meritocracy/Oligarchy
_Democratic
_Dictatorship
_Corrupt (Order of the Invisible Hand)
_Corrupt (Other)
_Former Valar/Maiar
_Mentioned in Silmarillion, now lead nation
_Elf/Catgirl/Cow Rights Group
_Primitive/Tribal
_Freelance military/security group
_Remnant/Rouge military force
_Lone Gunman

12. How did you pay for your Western Asian Arms Manufacturing Association product?

_Cash
_Galleons filled with gold and gems
_Suitcases of Cocaine
_Oil/Tiberium Revenues
_Vials full of Melange
_Boatloads of Mithril
_Shiploads of elf/catgirl/slave "pleasure women"
_Deficit Spending
_Personal Check
_Credit Card
_Ransom Money
_Traveler's Check
_Cyberbucks/E-Cash
_Gift Card
_Secret Cash Transfer
_Military Aid/Special Purchase Program
_WAAMA Frequent Buyer Rewards Program

13. Occupation You Your Spouse

_Ruler/Co-ruler
_Homemaker
_Sales/Marketing
_(Co) Revolutionary
_Clerical
_Mercenary
_Tyrant (over others than yourself)
_Middle Management
_Eccentric Trillionaire
_Defense Minister/General
_Retired
_Student
_Other
_N/A(please specify): _Executed/Murdered _Dead _Divorced _MIA/POW

14.To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse or partner enjoy participating on a regular basis:

Activity/Interest (Please specify: You/Spouse/Both/Mistress)
Golf
Boating/Sailing
Sabotage
Running/Jogging
Propaganda/Disinformation
Oppression of the Masses
Destabilizing/Overthrow
Default on Loans
Gardening
Crafts
Black Market/Smuggling
Collectibles/Collections
Watching Sports on TV
Wines
Scandal Formation
Interrogation/Torture
Enslavement/Imprisonment
Household Pets
"Liberating" other countries
Crushing Rebellions
Starting Rebellions
Espionage/Reconnaissance
Fashion Clothing
Border Disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction
Extramarital Affair
Nation Building

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help Western Asian Arms Manufacturing Association serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our systems? Please write to:

WAAMA Marketing And Customer Satisfaction Department
1322 Ben Gurion Blvd. 101-91123
Meggido, Israel, Western Asia

or Email us at: CustomerInput@MACSD.WAAMA.org

PS Thanks to Syskeyia for the idea (as "ripped it off of f-16.net")
Spoffin
26-07-2004, 20:37
LOL! Especially at "tyrant (over others than yourself)"
Western Asia
27-07-2004, 00:21
Wait a tick...why was this moved to II? I thought spoof/semiserious things belonged in gameplay?
Syskeyia
27-07-2004, 15:38
LOL

Your "Warranty Card" was much better than mine.

As for the II thing... I think it may have to do with storefronts being in the International Incidents forum.

God bless,

The Republic of Syskeyia