NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: Meh, I had this idea a long time ago, I'll try to make this funny and nice, maybe I'll start a trend :rolleyes:

Beep beep beep beep went the alarm. Wake up Sergei Ilyanov it's time to go to work. He wakes up, his moustache still there, his nice black hair , his fit body, it's a moderate middle age bedroom, a nice bathroom next to it too, bleh that's what you get when you're President of course. He walks up to his closet... and the only clothes he has is a leather jacket, white t-shirts, blue jeans, and cowboy boots... all in ten matching sets. He wiggled out of his pajamas, which were red... he got dressed up and headed downstairs, but not before putting his Colt .45 on....

He headed down the Grand Staircase, it was a massive living room at the bottom, though, he buyed it with his money. His friend, General Roska brought him some papers, he said in a gruff American voice. "Sir, these are the wars going on... sir. Sergei looked at the papers, rolled his eyes, and throws them at the floor. He looks at the General and chuckles, saying with his Russian accent, because that's how he talked for he is Russian, "Not our shit..."

He walked into the kitchen, before him was a plate.... and a cup of milk... just one measly cup of milk. Everything was middle-classed, he opened the referigirator, and inside was four gallons of milk, some butter, and some water, Sergei loved milk, he always finished his gallons in a week, don't know why though. In the freezer, were three packages of waffles, each containing 26. He usually ate out, so it doesn't matter. He opened one of the packages, inside were only two waffles left, he walked over, took those out, toasted them, buttered and ate.

After five minutes he walks out of the Villa, breathing in the fresh air, the bright sun shown against him, he stretches, and by him walks a nudist, a naked man nudist, hairy... damn Parliament. Sergei thought, I hope he's not gay, I hope he's not gay, I hope he's not gay... He walked over to the Cathedral, where there was a mass going on, it was unusually early for a mass too. He didn't have time of course in the morning.

He walked towards the Parliament building, it was time for another debate... or fight as he called it. Sergei thought Oy, I'm glad I brought me shin guards... He walked into the Parliament building, it's located near the main river that cuts through the city. A Red Guardsman, part of the Guard of the Parliament, ran up to him, saying with a Germanic accent, "The debate is cancelled, the opponent got a knee injury during practice." Sergei smiled and started walking towards his favorite restraunt, it seemed time for lunch...

OOC: Tell me if you like it, if not I won't continue it.

OOC: Bleh, I'll continue anyway

Sergei started walking towards his favorite restraunt, it was time for lunch. He started walking back, with the sidewalk... and then... it was rush hour.

Cars, SUVs, Hummers, and really any big car, sped through the roads, each armed with a machine gun of some sorts. Sergei rolled under a car that was in the setting, the drivers, and their friends were shooting each other, cars flipped, screached, and crashed. It was like a Destruction Derby, an Anarchist's dream some might say. But those evil kind of Anarchists of course. Yes yes, political correctness is a bitch. Sergei shouted, taking out his trusty Colt .45, firing at the cars. "Fuck you too!" He fired some pot shots, of course they didn't effect anyone, the cars were armored.... then traffic stopped, or slowed down really.

Sergei ran past the cars, arriving at his favorite restraunt near the port, "La Rosa" it was called, is offered the best of Rosian cuisine, it was like a little diner... It owned by a Cuban-Rosian woman, and oh was she feisty....

He walked in, the patrons saying, "Heya Sergei!" Sergei smiled and waved back, "Heya." he was obviously a regular. He took a seat at the bar, a nudist woman two chair away from him to the left. The owner, Rosa Alvarez, walked up to Sergei and smiled, she was washing a glass.

"Hola chiquo!" She said. How are you? Sergei rolled his eyes. "Bleh, Parliament's getting more sissy everyday... they almost banned the death penalty. I don't know why I shouldn't dissolve it." Rosa thwaps the back of his head. "Ow!" Sergei said, the patrons trying to stifle laughter as the leader is hit. "Mira che, if you dissolve Parliament, the Rosians will kill you, just like if you get a new house other then the Villa." She said to Sergei. He sighed. "Blah blah blah, I know that! Bleh, maybe I can convince them next time. So can I just have three ham croquettes and a cheeseburger plain?" Rosa chuckled, pulling out what he wanted from under the bar, she then winks at him. "I know what you like hun."

Sergei started eating his food, that female nudist winking at him, Sergei sighed, moving away. Oy, I'm the only one in this Island who doesn't want somebody... He kept eating his food, he was halfway done until he looked at his watch. "Damn! My duel with Alex is in thirty minutes!" He rushed out the door, leaving the plate and no money, Rosa shouted at him, raising her fist in defiance. "Pay me! I pay your damn taxes every month! You bastard!" Rosa sighed and smiled. He then picked up the plates and rolled her eyes. She thought to himself. Blah, ya can't hate him...

OOC: Lunch is over and the afternoon will begin...

Bump? Come on criticize me >.>

Bump? Come on criticize me >.>


Occ- You suck. Just kidding, but you said criticize you.

:)

Occ- You suck. Just kidding, but you said criticize you.

:)

OOC: But what do you think of the story? I'm going to continue it but any help works :p

OOC: But what do you think of the story? I'm going to continue it but any help works :p


More sex, more violence, more tobacco use, more alcohol use, and more swearing. Maybe a few race riots for good measure.

More sex, more violence, more tobacco use, more alcohol use, and more swearing. Maybe a few race riots for good measure.

I forgot who I was asking :rolleyes: I still love ya :p, whatever, on with the story!

*rushes to finish this*

Sergei runs back towards the Villa, there was a mass protest against nuclear weapons, he was stopped by reporters.

A mass of reporters rushed him, protestors... protesting. It was about 20 people, it was near the diner too. He was asked by a reporter, "Why did you buy those nuclear weapons?" Sergei answered, "To live, you fucktard! Gotta keep those n00bs off our backs..." The protestors were then rushed by Rosian citizens, the Police were not present unfortunately...

Sergei arrived at his Villa, the traffic was slower this time. He rushed towards the dueling room, going through the Grand Staircase, taking a left, then a right. Inside, was a grand room, with swords of many types, one labled "Sword of Sergei" was the President's. Alexander, the General, was there, holding his own Rapier, it was English. Sergei, grabbed his, it was French.

So when do we stop Sergei? Sergei smirks, getting into position, much like Raphael in Soul Caliber II. First to fall, or first to fall to give up. He spun his Rapier in his hand. Which will be you. Alexander smirked and attacked, he did a thrust, a small thrust though.

Sergei countered, lowering his Rapier, Alexander fumbled, but he didn't drop his sword. Sergei shouted. "Fool! You never thrust, you must maneuver first!" Alexander regained his footing, Sergei doing a vertical strike, Alexander of course countered, he held his Rapier with two hands and blocked up above. "Mr. Sergei, that kind of attack is dangerous." Alexander kicks him. "It leaves you open to kicks!" Sergei almost falls, but jumps to the side of him, grabbing the back of his shirt and throwing him to the floor, he puts his foot on Alexander's stomach, putting the Rapier close to his neck. "Surrender?" Alexander smirked and chuckled. "Ya win ya bastard."

Sergei lifts Alexander up, and chuckles. "Blah Alexander, I need someone else to challenge me." Sergei starts putting his Rapier back in it's case. "What? I'm not good enough sir?" Sergei walks up to Alexander and chuckles. "We've been long life friends, but I can kick your ass if I wanted to." The General rolled his eyes. "Cocky are we?" Sergei smirked. "Why yes I do have one." Alexander chuckled and headed out of the room. "I'll see you tommorow sir..."

Sergei walked out of the room also, it was time to go to the gun range... but he'd be taking his car over there this time.

OOC: Bleh, I'll finish this soon. I want opinions!

The utopian lifestyle of your president is interesting, please continue. Also, why don't you have some FASCISTS/RACISTS beaten in by Rosian Citizens. :D That'd be great, wouldn't it CM :)

The President has a Utopian lifestyle? Meh, but is it unique and different though? That's what I'm aiming for...

Nice. Try to stay in one tense though -- either past tense or present tense [unless you want to try future @_@]. I should try something like this . . .

OOC: Bleh screw tenses, I just want the story to entertain you :p

Sergei entered his garage, he looked around for his BMW Z8, it had a silver color... he just remembered, it was on repair due to a highway accident... and near anal rape. But that's another story. He looked around his garage for a different car, and there it was... a Harley with long handlebars, just what bike gangs rode. Oy... Sergei and speed... not a good combination.

Sergei turned on his Harley, he yelled "Time to ride biatch!" The garage door opened, and out he was on the road, doing 60MPH from the gate it seems. He swerved around the cars, speeding... doing tricks. The Rosians cheered at him as he rode the Harley like a skateboard, then, disaster.

The Harley swerved towards an empty ally, and ironically, there was a brick wall. Sergei jumped at the last minute, and watched as his Harley exploded as it crashed... for the 3rd time. He sighed, inspecting the damage. He then turned around, six punks, armed with street weapons, two with daggers, one with a pipe, three with bats.

"Hey, look, it's the Prez, I bet he's rich." It was the leader, and he had a rather Scottish accent. "Let's kick his ass!" Another one said, the punks started agreeing, and slowly walked towards Sergei. Sergei chuckled. "I wouldn't do that if I were you..." The leader pshhed. "Pssh, why not." Sergei chuckled, got into Eagle Stance and shouted. "Because you do not mess with the Ninja!"

Insert fighting music here: ___________

Sergei karate chopped the leader's shoulder, he then grabs his arm, throwing him into the two other punks. They're now on the floor... alone... crippled... but not dead. The last two, both armed with knives slowly walked towards Sergei, "You're dead!" Sergei looked down, there was an iron pipe on the floor, he kicked it up, and bashed one of the two punks on the head. The last one, he looked around... scared... alone... so he kicked himself on the balls and fell. Sergei walked out of the allie, whiping the dust off his jacket, telling a nearby policeman, "Ya, get a van, and tell them to pick up some bodies in the allie, and yes they're alive." The male policemen rolled his eyes. "Third fucking time this week..."

Sergei then started walking to the gun range...

Bump, opinions people, what do you think of the section I just wrote :rolleyes:

Interesting to read. Keep up the good work.

Sergei arrived at the gun range, it was an outdoor range. Sergei was a regular here also, you might call him a gun freak. He entered and of course he was greeted, with the patrons saying, "Heya Sergei!" with Sergei waving back, saying, "Hello." He then arrived at his special spot.

At his special spot was Alexei Krezh, he was a friend of Sergei, he even voted for him, heh. Sergei and Alexei hugged out of friendship. Sergei chuckled and patted his friend on the back. "So, what do you have for me?" Alexei moved out of the way, revealing a Soviet Era RPG. "Ta-da!" Sergei's jaw dropped, not believing it. "The hell you get this?!" Alexei chuckled. "E-Bay." Sergei rolled his eyes, picking up the massive cannon. "Next they'll be selling the Internet."

Sergei targeted the target... which was an old T-36 tank from surplus. He carefully targeted it, aiming the scope, he pulled the trigger, BOOM, the turret flew off! Sergei laughed wildly, dropping the massive cannon on the floor. Alexei then shaked him back to normal. Sergei wobbled for a bit, but shook his head. He then cleared his throat saying, "Robert was going to do something insane today?" Alexei chuckled. "Yes, he thinks that if he attaches two bazookas to his back, he can fly. He bet 1,000 Roses he survives." Sergei smirked. "Take me there! Free money!"

Sergeo and Alexei arrived at a cliff, with water, lots of water at the bottom, a small crowd has gathered there, Robert, a small blonde man, with a slight British accent, got ready to jump, he had strings attached to the triggers to make pulling them easier. Sergei dropped a check of 1,000 Roses before he jumped shouting, "Thanks for the money you fool!" Robert smirked, he jumped... and after five seconds he pulled the trigger on both bazookas, which caused the two shells to splash at the bottom, causing massive waves, to crash against the cliff. Robert's body flailed in the air, he had no parachute and no protection... so he just went down, down, down... until he hit the water with a sickening thud. And by some bizzare miracle of God, he survived, shouting at the crowd. "Where's my money biatches?!"

Sergei rolled his eyes, relearning that strange things happen everyday. Especially in his country. It was getting late, it was time for him to go home... he exited the range and called a Taxi...

OOC: Well? Well?

OOC: Just one opinion, I need an opinion about that section.

Heh, well done. All this stuff could very well have happened in my own nation (except that the president would not have survived that incident with the thugs). This gives a nice inside look on your nation too.

OOC: Agh, sorry, I fell asleep. Here's the next one, even though you won't care :p

The taxi, it was a yellow taxi, came and picked up Sergei. The driver, was a redneck to say the least, let's just say that he's too redneck to be a redneck. Sergei took a seat, looking around the old taxi car, and the man's liscense, yet he was a legitimate driver. Oy... hiliraity insues? Maybe...

The taxi started driving along the road, the sun was setting, the red light shown on Sergei's face. Sergei decided to have a conversation, a nice nomal conversation for a change. "So... how long you've worked a taxi?" The driver thought for a second and answered. "Three years, I've seen alot of shit too. I still remember that mass nudist protest against shaving..." Sergei shrugs, shaking his head. "Don't remind me. Are we close to my Villa?" The driver looked at his GPS, well, the taxi's GPS system anyway. "I reckon we're five minutes away. Mr. President, why don't you get a girlfriend? I reckon somebody'll take ya." Sergei sighs, looking at the sunset, it was a beautiful sunset, they always were. A red sun against a yellow sky, a cool wind blowing. The palm trees sitting there... it was a tropical paradise you might say, especially in the night. "Women, too much work, besides, I'm crazy..." The driver chuckles, "Sir, we're all crazy, it's genetic. Now come on, we're here. And just so ya know, it's on the house... or car."

Sergei smiles and steps out of the taxi car, looking on at the massive Villa. It stood there since the 1900s, it was taken by the Revolutionaries, and stayed there as the leader's house. Meh... c'est la Vie hm? Sergei waved the driver good-bye, the driver waving Sergei good-bye. Hm, you learn a little something everyday, even if you are the leader of some insane Island, you learn a little...

Sergei entered his Villa, it was dinner time, he stepped inside his kitchen again. It was dinner time, there was a half open Pizza Box, inside were six slices, somebody had fun. Next to the Pizza Box, were papers, it was time for work, the papers numbered... ten. If you were the President of the Island of Rose, you only had to go to Parliament sessions and sign papers. Same system of the Americans, but since there was never an emergency, nothing much to do. Sergei started looking at the papers, it was about increasing military spending. It was just an overly complicated essay. Sergei, looking at it while he ate the Pizzas, signed it with his... signature. He took the box upstairs towards his bed, it was time to relax.

He jumped in his bed, across the bed was an average sized T.V., he never watched the news, he saw the news happen in the streets. He started eating the Pizza, turning on the T.V. His favorite channel? The Rosian History Channel. It was state owned, but state owned as in they got profits. So they could do anything they wanted, Sergei enjoyed the honesty. So he sat down, relaxed, and watched a documentary on "N00bs, Misunderstood or the New Terrorist?" He chuckled, relaxed, and watched...

Four hours later, the documentary was over. The box was empty. It was time to go to sleep. He undressed, only leaving his underwear on. He put on his Red Pajamas, putting his Colt .45 inside his closet. He chuckled, he survived another day in this nation. So, he jumped in his bed, covered himself with the comforter and slept... yes sleep Sergei for you never know what could happen.

OOC: AND I AM DONE! So whaddaya think :p

OOC// Blah, if I was AMF you'd rush to see it :p even though he is the better writer.

Bump

Write more! MORE! :P

Bump for Nikalous. He wants to read it.

I am not letting this die that easily!

Finished reading it. You should write more.

Finished reading it. You should write more.

That's just how I write when I'm in my "zone". I don't know if I can pull off a "zone" again.