NationStates Jolt Archive

Emperor Carl Ghent sat upon his throne in his newly erected palace, humming and eating grapes, interrupted only by the occasional fart or burp. His palace was lavishly designed and golden figures of himself dotted the interior, as well as the exterior. Even the throne he sat on was made purely of gold, minus the cushions which were made from silk. At either of his sides were what he called "Guardsmen", they wore red velvet tights, tuxedo tops and wore tall top hats on their heads. They were armed with 18th century muskets, that backfired 85% of the time, which was why Emperor Ghent didn't bother learning his "Guardsmen's" names. Emperor Ghent himself barily fit in his throne, he was supremely obese, tipping the scale at 560 lbs, he didn't like having his clothes custom made, so he wore the same pair of swim trunks and flip flops every day. Topping his monstrous frame was a small golden crown that looked something like a small building, atop a huge mountain. His odor was rancid, he refused to bathe, and he prespired like a fat pig on a hot summer day. This horrible excuse for a man, this blubbery abomination, was none other than the emperor of Isla De Penguinata.

"I'm hungry, where's my god damn ice cream bucket, the emperor demands ice cream!!", Emperor Ghent rolled his words out slowly, in a fatty booming voice, toned with a fake british accent.

"Eh, I'll have you're ice cream bucket right away my God, Savior, Lord, and Emperor.", squeeked a small servant, whom was also dressed like a fool, this time in a clown suit with a clown wig to match.

"Hurry you sorry bastard, I will not wait! Jester, jester, come make the God of Isla De Penguinata laugh, tell me a joke and make it funny or I'll have you killed asshole!", all five of Emperor Ghent's chins shook as he shouted this command, and no sooner had he shout it, the jester came. He came from out a small dark corner in the palace, he clinked when he walked, for he had an iron ball chained to his right leg. He wore a jester's outfit, green and yellow, the Emperor's favorite colors, and on his head he wore the traditional jester's hat with four points sticking out on each side.

The small servant who had fetched the ice cream bucket, rushed passed the jester and hurried to the throne. He knelt down on one knee and held the ice cream bucket above his head, as if offering a lamb to a god. Emperor Ghent snatched the ice cream bucket, tore the lid off and dug into it with his bare hands, smacking on the frozen treat disgustingly ass it rolled down his fat stomach.

"Make a joke you fool, make a god damn joke! I'll eat you like I eat my ice cream!"

The jester started to dance a little jig, and sing a ridiculous song, all with a look of utter sadness on his face.

"That's not good enough! Do you mock your god? Must I tell you how I came to be the God of this country? Must I!?!? I think I will, you silly ass jester, you must come to learn to respect your superiors! Sit fool! Let me tell you the tale of how I, the Lord of all in this land, came to be!"

The Emperor went into a long drawn out lie about how he was chosen by the gods to be the leader of this country, and how the chose him to be the supreme god of all gods, yatayatyata. But this is now how the story really went......the jester himself remembered it like it was yesterday, he was once the former president's advisor.....


TO BE CONTINUED

Yes the jester remembered how things really came to be, he could've prevented all this, he could've stopped all this madness. But now, now it was too late, his country was in shambles, and he refused to blame anyone but himself. You see, 6 years ago the former president of IDP lay on his deathbed, stricken down with an unknown disease, one that greatly ditereated both his mind and body at a rapid pace. In his last days he was greatly dillusional, and was confined to the capitol building of IDP, where he was accompanied by none other than his fat, shceming, nephew Carl Ghent. Carl requested that they be left alone for several hours, claiming that he wanted to get the chance to "know" his uncle a little better.

But it was painfully obvious that after each meeting, the president seemed to become sicker and sicker. All the while his advisor simply sat back and watched as his president was poisened to death. Why didn't he act, why didn't he do something? Because he didn't get that damn pay raise he had requested, only if he had known the severe consequences of his silent grudge. Carl wasn't alone in his devious scandal, he was joined by his older cousin Arnold Ghent, who seemed to be the brains behind the entire operation. Arnold was a quiet man, and was always at Carl's side, whispering in his ear when he became lost for words. He wore black all the time no matter what the occasion and kept shades over his pale face even in the night. He was definately strange by Penguinatian standards.

Well, as time passed, and the president's condition became worst with each day, Carl began to insist that his Uncle be granted one final request before he die. Of course, family and friends agreed, asuming that the president's request would be a simple one due to his a condition, a one that would be easy to fufill. So it's no guess why everyone was completely shocked on that last day of the president's life, when he requested, that his half-wit nephew, Carl Ghent, become the official emperor of Isla De Penguinata.

While Carl and his accomplice were estatic, everyone else in the room was completely filled with dread. You see, Penguinatians have much honor, and live by a strict code, so when someone on their deathbed is given a final request, that request is granted no matter their mental condition.

So it was, that on that day Carl became the Emperor of all Isla De Penguinata, and his accomplice, Arnold, became his Underlord. Although the title doesn't suggest it, Arnold was actually the one who was in control. Carl was just a front for Arnold, because he suffered from severe stage fright and couldn't appear before his people. Of course, Carl didn't know of this, and he indulged as if he were an Emperor, devouring everything in sight and limiting people's rights. He inforced obscene laws, Saturday became "Worship Carl Day", people were forced to give 20% of their income to "Carl the Great", and the military recieved severe cutbacks. Cutbacks that reduced Isla De Penguinatas once formidale military into a ragtag militia, made up of untrained peasants.

Arnold and Carl had coaxed their way to the top and now they basked in their wealth, while their countrymen around them lived in poverty. With the cost to enforce all of Carl's laws, and the 20% income law, IDP had become close to a third world country, and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do about it. Citizens could not leave the island nation, they were forced to endure the reign of "Carl the Fat", even if they did manage to leave the island their rafts were soon torn apart by the coastguard.

So now it seemed that IDP had fallen into a dark age, and as the Jester listened to Carl's far fetched tale he wondered, what he could he have done? Could he have prevented this? No time to think, Carl the Fat requested more dancing.

^^^bump^^^

C'mon, I know IDP has alot of allies, isn't anybody concerned?

BUMP