NationStates Jolt Archive


Smile! Or else.

Ohhhcomehere
16-06-2004, 07:28
A recent election in OCH has resulted in the election of a far-right wing official, known only as Big Brother, Diety of your choice only knows why they picked him, apparently the population is illeterate or doesnt read sci-fi, who once in office promptly declared himself Dictator for Life, shot most of the council (They had apparently overdosed on the national currency) and wrote up a new set of laws, now known as the 'Smile' laws.

Citizens are to be happy, at all times. Those who are not happy obviously are in need of corrective therapy, such as several years in a hard labour camp to convince them of just how good they have it. Citizens shall smile, at all times, in public, a series of excersizes has been recommended to those that cannot yet maintain a constant happy demenor.
An interview with a OCH Citizen, just after the laws were passed:
"Yes...I am extremly happy. Happy happy happy. Tell you what, if this isnt the happies country out there, then...then...OH GOD! Please, somebody get me out of here! Its horrible! HORRIBLE!!! Hey...what are you doing?! LET GO! LET GO! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HELP HEL-"
BBBZZZZttttt...
Err...
Thats all for tonight folks, tune in tommorow.

---

A new wave of patriotism has apparently overcome OCH, as the national flag and several varients have been seen on almost every street corner, while large loudspeakers play uplifting and positive music throughout most of the cities.

---

The crime rate in OCH has shot up tremendously, not for murder, arson, rape or the usual (And rather commo-..ok, ok I wont say it, put the taser down!) but for 'Being negative' and 'pessimism', OCH jails are filling up with rather depressed looking individuals schedualed for corrective therapy.

---

A recent tape smuggled out of the country:
A man is standing on a platform, facing a table with five people of unidentified gender sitting at it. They all wear rather fixed smiles.
The man on the platform seems confused, he looks around the dark room, at the flag, and at the individuals sitting at the table.
The man in the center clears his throat.
"Smile."
The one on the platform looks at him, more confused now, he frowns.
"No."
Click.
BANG!!!
The man on the platform stares in horror at where his arm used to be, behind him a guard wielding a pair of hydraulic hedgeclipper-looking things smiles, fixedly same as ever, as spots of blood drip down his face.
"Now, smile."
The platformed one tries to pull those certain muscles that work the lips and cheeks, and manages a small, strained smile.
On the table the center mans smile grows slightly wider.
On the platform the prisoner strains, then loses the smile.
"Goodbye."
BANG BANG BANG.
Four thumps sound as assorted parts drop to the ground.
"That will be all for todays meeting, goodbye."
The people behind the table stand and leave, the security guard follows shortly.
The camera pans down to where the man, still allive, struggles to lift his head, staring in horror down at the stumps where his limbs used to be, watching as his blood pools on the floor, after about a minute, his head falls and his eyes roll into his head...his breathing stops.

OOC:
For those who havent guessed, this is Dontgonearthere. I just wanted a chance to RP as a REALLY sick govornment, since DGNT is more of a benevolent dictatorship...and Im sure I can get some good RPs in.
Other than that, THIS IS SERIOUS. The govornment of OCH has taken a serious about face, and concussed itself on the wall pretty badly.

Side note:
Lots of other stuff normally associated with evil-dictators taking over happened as well, the army was reformed, secert police, rebels, that sort of thing...its just thats its one thirty and I didnt think of it :P
Mekanta
16-06-2004, 07:34
"Mekanta is distressed by this report."

"We find your leader to be a sick, sick person."

"We suggest he find a hobby... Such as seeing how long he can make a legitimate prisoner live in absolute agony before the poor fool finally croaks... then get a new one."

"It's the Mekantan National Sport!"


-OOC-

No, see, being a sick, sick bastard and still not being an international pariah is just sick. Mekanta's record... Four and a half days of blinding pain, the subject's voice giving out from the constant shrieks of pain. And they're getting better....

You want to go head to head with that?
Crimmond
16-06-2004, 08:05
Bah. The populace does stuff like that to muggers. Normally adding in a tazer to the crotch until it smokes. I won't mention what the military and police do. Use your imagination. And don't even ask about Black Staff punishments. You get put on a list if you do.
Mekanta
16-06-2004, 08:09
-OOC-

I'll spare you a list of what Mekanta will do to people...

It's gruesome, and not very fitting for any young'ins on the board. ^_^

I'll just give you two of them...

Very small tentacle up the urethra (that little tube you pee out of, if you didn't know), which alone hurts like hell because it's like passing a kidney stone. Then it sends electrical pulses before superheating.

Other thing? Removal of an arm through a rather sick method. You start with one finger. You crush about a centimeter of that finger's end into bone dust, twist it around for a while, then start grinding the finger off at a rate of a milimeter per second, and every two seconds the grinding stops so the wound can be cauterized. Once it gets to the end of the broken part, the process is repeated. Continue with the rest of the fingers, then the hand, then the rest of the arm until the whole damn thing is gone. Same goes for legs.

Note. That's TWO of them...
Crimmond
16-06-2004, 08:18
OOC: :shock: Holy sh*t! Even AMF's Halls of the Dead aren't that bad...(form what I've read so far)
Mekanta
16-06-2004, 08:21
-OOC-

Yeah, I'm called a Dark Author for a reason. ^_^

Wait!

I might be worse than AMF!?
Rotovia
16-06-2004, 08:40
[tag]
Vrak
16-06-2004, 08:53
Overheard at a cocktail party in the capital. Translated from Vrakian.

-Did you hear what they do to people who aren't happy in Ohhhcomehere?
-Ohhhcomehere? Is that the name of the new state in the FKC?
-Umm, yes. It's odd, I know. But they torture people or send them to a hard labour camp if they aren't happy.
-Really? Sounds like a market for our TDP vats.

====

A secretary at TDP Tech HQ pulled out some company stationery and began to take dictation.

===TDP Tech Inc ===

To: Ohhhcomehere
From: TDP Tech Inc

To Whom It May Concern:

We feel that your nation might benefit from our TDP tech vats. Briefly, through the latest scientific processes, one can extract pure water, oil, and various minerals from almost any source. Just a bit of trivia for you; If a 175-pound man fell into one end, he would come out the other end as 38 pounds of oil, 7 pounds of gas, 7 pounds of minerals and 123 pounds of sterilized water! Amazing, eh?

We've sold limited licenses to Oglethorpia, Barbarrosea, and Galdania, as well as a few Klatchian nations. And with Vat Laws #3 and #4 in Vrak, why, our business is booming! That helps us to refine our product even more and pass along benefits to our valued customers.

If you are interested, I can send a sales team out for a demonstration.

Yours,

Fred Gulip
VP Marketing


http://home.earthlink.net/~chipcomp/tdp4.jpg

OOC: I'm sure I screwed up the spelling for some of the nations. Bad marketing rep! Bad! Bad!
Ohhhcomehere
16-06-2004, 15:39
Mekanta:
Why, they ARE legitimate prisoners, after all, why would we ever want to arrest a person who didnt do anything? It would make no sense! 'Course, theres bound to be mistakes, but those can be corrected, and we always compensate people who are released, of course.

Crimmod:
Thanks for the info! On a side note...isnt a tazer to the crotch 'till it smokes a bit of a waste, I mean, by the time its smoking most of the nerves are dead and the decrotched one is unconcious...

Vrak:
We would be quite interested in this, send a team.
Vrak
20-06-2004, 06:42
===TDP Tech Inc ===

To: Ohhhcomehere
From: TDP Tech Inc

To Whom It May Concern:

Sounds great! We'll send a sales team out right away!


Yours,

Fred Gulip
VP Marketing

====

Fred picked up the phone and was connected to his top salesperson team that specialized in corporate and government accounts.

-Bill? Fred hear. I've got something for you. I want you to take a team out tomorrow and head to Ohhhcomehere...yeah, there that new state...yeah, okay...load up the plane and er... I was thinking...why not try out the new portable models that fit on the back of a flat bed...no, the home appliance models aren't ready yet...I think these guys are looking at industrial scale...yeah ok...good luck.

Fred put down the phone and then began to dream about kronors.
Cyper Cero
20-06-2004, 06:56
You are sick people... Have you heard of Anandan's Funhouse? I think you people would enjoy it immensely. It's located in...Nationstates. I think.
Anyway after a little while in there people who have been let out will either smile all the time or kill themselves. Either way you win.