Mauiwowee
09-06-2004, 18:56
AP - For Immediate release:
The Kingdom of Mauiwowee announced today that after unparralelled cooperation between the state run bio-tech firm, Stems and Cells and Things, Inc. (S.C.T., Inc) and several private defense contractors (primarily W.M.D. LLC) a new nanotechology has been perfected. The new nanites, named "Andromedites" have both practical uses and potential use as a weapon. Said project director, Dr. Mykal Kryton, "We are extremely excited about our perfecting the nanite manufacture process, and look forward to developing partnerships with those nations interested in the technology and wholesale, mass manufacturing of the Andromedite."
The Andromedite is modeled after the "Adromeda Strain" of bacterial life forms currently under study in the United State's Centers for Disease Control secret desert laboratory. "We were pleased that our intelligence agency personnel were able to "convince" the director of the C.D.C. lab to allow us acces to their research on the Andromeda Strain bacteria and that they let us "borrow" actual samples and computer models of their reproductive patterns" said Dr. Kryton.
In simple terms, the Andromedite "feeds" on petroleum based plastic and rubber products, causing them to crumble into harmless carbon dust. Much ado was made of this ability of the original Andromeda Strain bacterium when a U.S. Fighter Jet crashed because all of the plane's seals, gaskets and pilot's breathing gear crumbled to dust. "The Andromeda Strain bacterium's ability to affect these items has been completely replicated and controlled in the Andromedite nanoprobe" said Dr. Kryton. The Andromedite is dormant at freezing termperatures and fully active at room temperatures. "It is fully self replicating as long as it has a food source of plastic or rubber to feed on. Unless rendered dormant by freezing though, the Andromedite will "die" should it be without a food source for approximately 2 hours. It essentially eats itself when there is no plastic food source available" reports Dr. Kryton. A colony of Andromedites can, with a sufficient food supply, essentially double in size every 60 seconds.
Dr. Kryton states "we are excited about the possible use of the Andromedite in cleaning up land fills and garbage dumps that have large quanties of discarded tires, platic bags, toys, etc. made of plastic and rubber products. Imagine a mountain of discarded tires being turned to dust in the space of just a few minutes. With the Andromedite, this is possible." On the other hand, the director of W.M.D. LLC, retired General Jack T. Ripper, states "the potential for use as a weapon is enormous. Just remember the jet that the original Andromeda Strain bacterium brought down. With a proper delivery mechanism, the Andromedite could be implanted in a plane and bring it down in the same way. What if a small "bomb" consisting of Andromedites were to detonate in a large building or on an aircraft carrier. How long would those things continue to function as all the plastic and rubber insulation on electrical wiring turned to dust and their seals and gaskets crumbled."
Nations interested in trade with Mauiwowee and the manufacture, licensing or other issues related to the Andromedite nanotechnology are urged to contact His Royal Highness, King 'Lude II through officical channels said a Palace Spokesmen for the king. "Obviously the significance of this discovery and the sensitive nature of the issues involved will require governmental cooperation at the highest levels."
The Kingdom of Mauiwowee announced today that after unparralelled cooperation between the state run bio-tech firm, Stems and Cells and Things, Inc. (S.C.T., Inc) and several private defense contractors (primarily W.M.D. LLC) a new nanotechology has been perfected. The new nanites, named "Andromedites" have both practical uses and potential use as a weapon. Said project director, Dr. Mykal Kryton, "We are extremely excited about our perfecting the nanite manufacture process, and look forward to developing partnerships with those nations interested in the technology and wholesale, mass manufacturing of the Andromedite."
The Andromedite is modeled after the "Adromeda Strain" of bacterial life forms currently under study in the United State's Centers for Disease Control secret desert laboratory. "We were pleased that our intelligence agency personnel were able to "convince" the director of the C.D.C. lab to allow us acces to their research on the Andromeda Strain bacteria and that they let us "borrow" actual samples and computer models of their reproductive patterns" said Dr. Kryton.
In simple terms, the Andromedite "feeds" on petroleum based plastic and rubber products, causing them to crumble into harmless carbon dust. Much ado was made of this ability of the original Andromeda Strain bacterium when a U.S. Fighter Jet crashed because all of the plane's seals, gaskets and pilot's breathing gear crumbled to dust. "The Andromeda Strain bacterium's ability to affect these items has been completely replicated and controlled in the Andromedite nanoprobe" said Dr. Kryton. The Andromedite is dormant at freezing termperatures and fully active at room temperatures. "It is fully self replicating as long as it has a food source of plastic or rubber to feed on. Unless rendered dormant by freezing though, the Andromedite will "die" should it be without a food source for approximately 2 hours. It essentially eats itself when there is no plastic food source available" reports Dr. Kryton. A colony of Andromedites can, with a sufficient food supply, essentially double in size every 60 seconds.
Dr. Kryton states "we are excited about the possible use of the Andromedite in cleaning up land fills and garbage dumps that have large quanties of discarded tires, platic bags, toys, etc. made of plastic and rubber products. Imagine a mountain of discarded tires being turned to dust in the space of just a few minutes. With the Andromedite, this is possible." On the other hand, the director of W.M.D. LLC, retired General Jack T. Ripper, states "the potential for use as a weapon is enormous. Just remember the jet that the original Andromeda Strain bacterium brought down. With a proper delivery mechanism, the Andromedite could be implanted in a plane and bring it down in the same way. What if a small "bomb" consisting of Andromedites were to detonate in a large building or on an aircraft carrier. How long would those things continue to function as all the plastic and rubber insulation on electrical wiring turned to dust and their seals and gaskets crumbled."
Nations interested in trade with Mauiwowee and the manufacture, licensing or other issues related to the Andromedite nanotechnology are urged to contact His Royal Highness, King 'Lude II through officical channels said a Palace Spokesmen for the king. "Obviously the significance of this discovery and the sensitive nature of the issues involved will require governmental cooperation at the highest levels."