Afchanistan
08-06-2004, 10:53
His Most Sublime Highness, the Infinitely Wise King of Afchanistan, today announced the postponement of elections to establish the pristine nation's first Parliament.
"It is with deep sadness," the adored leader said in a nationally televised address, "that I take this step. But radical hooligan elements have threatened to disrupt the electoral process, through acts of violence directed at my citizens, whom I love with all my heart. My citizens! I cannot allow harm to come to even the slightest hair upon the head of any one of them."
Overcome with emotion at the very thought of harm coming to the people he loves so very much, His Gloriousness took a moment to compose himself, then continued, "I swear upon the grave of my father that, once I am absolutely confident that these vicious criminals have been rooted out of our society, elections will be held.
"However, these cowardly thugs operate under cloaks of deep secrecy, knowing that their wickedness could not stand the light of day. I can therefore give no estimate of when it will be safe to hold elections."
"It is with deep sadness," the adored leader said in a nationally televised address, "that I take this step. But radical hooligan elements have threatened to disrupt the electoral process, through acts of violence directed at my citizens, whom I love with all my heart. My citizens! I cannot allow harm to come to even the slightest hair upon the head of any one of them."
Overcome with emotion at the very thought of harm coming to the people he loves so very much, His Gloriousness took a moment to compose himself, then continued, "I swear upon the grave of my father that, once I am absolutely confident that these vicious criminals have been rooted out of our society, elections will be held.
"However, these cowardly thugs operate under cloaks of deep secrecy, knowing that their wickedness could not stand the light of day. I can therefore give no estimate of when it will be safe to hold elections."